Orochi (Kabuto) PoV

I was stuck inside Kabuto, which really sucked. Bored to tears, he rarely listened to me, and I wanted Sarah to be in my arms and lap. How much worse could this humiliation get?

Sarah PoV

We arrived at Isamu's house, and I finally figured out how to seal someone in the Totsuka blade – courtesy of more mafia members – and how to remove them from the blade. That last one was accidental when I let out a rogue Mist ninja before insisting he taught me everything he knew or I would ship him back into the blade.

Needless to say, life was horrible right now.

Naruto PoV

I was having the time of my life – apparently this world had a lot of rules and restrictions, but who cared? They could never catch me and my doppelgangers, and Sarah was too busy tampering with her stupid blade to care. Ramen was dirt cheap here, so I bought it by the pallet loads and shipped it back home to my house in Konoha. Sarah had followed likewise but sent it to Otogakure, and I was seriously considering playing a massive prank on the people in this world. Too bad Sarah was super strict when it came to pranks that didn't involve her in any way.

Two weeks later (3rd person PoV)

Sarah had just shipped Naruto back to the war where he needed to be. The war had started, and she headed back to Otogakure where they needed her. They were at a loss for what to do – Kabuto had told them to get in the war, but Orochimaru had somehow appeared behind him and told them not to. They were waiting on her for the final decision.

"Stay out of the war," Sarah ordered them harshly. "We don't need to get dragged into this. Leave it to the great nations. Sound Five, Guren, I want you guys on babysitting duty for my kids. Let's see – I also think I'll go with my former teammates in the Chunin exams, and the Jonin from the Fuuma clan. Any objections?"

"No, ma'am!" they agreed heartily, knowing that this was the most important job off of the front lines.

Three weeks after that (Sarah PoV)

Otogakure had just been attacked by an army of Zetsu's. I'd dispelled them with a jutsu that Orochimaru had taught me, but they seemed to keep coming back. Finally, exhausted, I'd revived one of the statues in the village square to aide me in my quest. It zapped chakra and stole a person's life, but it was worth it. I pulled a male Fuuma clan member forward, and used him as the ritual sacrifice for the jutsu. Otogakure as a whole was now safe, when it came to the village. I quickly moved my children and their guardians into the village as an added precaution, taking them into the hideout Orochimaru had created just for this purpose of a war. I frowned in realization – I was the Otokage now, the Otonin all rallied around me for guidance. I wasn't the sharpest tack in the box, but I was most definitely the strongest tool in the shed.

I charged at the next Zetsu body – I knew creating doppelgangers here was useless, and the guardian statue had come to its wits end. I'd taken people to the different guardian points in the statues around the village gates that I'd had Orochimaru build secretly. It was a rallying point really – the fence was basically protecting major businesses' yards, but I'd had him put statues up anyways, just to ensure that nothing crazy happened.

"Summoning!" I cried out, weary. Reshi and Renate appeared, just the two I needed. "Reshi, turn up the heat! Renate, it's time for some darkness on our enemies!"

They nodded and Reshi began heating up her large rocket-fuel looking tail as Renate performed the move Dark Pulse. I sat down, mentally, emotionally, and physically drained. I knew I needed to rest, but I had no choice. People were in a state of chaos everywhere now, and the statue activation jutsu was just now working on the statues on the fence lining. I wished Kabuto and Orochimaru would hurry up and separate already – I needed their help now more than ever before.

"Sarah," I heard Orochimaru say aloud, and I leapt upright, preparing for a fight, glaring and glancing around me ferally. "Totsuka blade," he reminded me. "Listen, the real me isn't among this mess – this is all Zetsu. Get rid of the real body, we get rid of the clones. Kabuto has no intention of letting my other half go, not in a million years. You have to force me out of him with an exorcism jutsu."

"Where do I get one of those?" I asked, bending over in pain.

"Your only other option is to seal us both away in the blade, separate us, and then let us out at different times," Orochimaru said sternly. I considered that option for a while – it was extremely enticing, especially since I could keep Kabuto prisoner forever with it.

"Lady Sarah!" one Jonin panted as he raced up to me with large gashes in his right arm and cheek. "Our men are severely wounded, we're exhausted, and we can't keep this up much longer! What do we do?"

"Fall back into your houses, full retreat!" I called out. "Make sure no child is out in the streets! You know the passwords – use them!"

The village made haste to obey me, and I fled to Orochimaru's hideout. I knew that once all my ninja were inside, we were safe. No non-Oto shinobi could get in these houses, our protection jutsu had made sure of that. I collapsed onto the couch, exhausted to the point that my back was popping alongside everything else in protest.

"What now, Sarah-sama?" a kunoichi asked worried. "We lost, didn't we?"

"They may have won the battle," I growled. "But they have not won the war!"

"But what will we do now?" her older brother asked.

"We'll rest and recover," I told them. "If the war is still going on in a week's time, we'll join the Konohagakure ninja's armies! Until then, we'll rest and recover."

"Yes, ma'am!" they saluted before racing to deliver the news by summoning contracts. I sighed before getting up and heading over into the shower to turn it up on so-hot-it-will-burn-your-skin-off hot. I let it run for a few minutes, relishing the steam it brought by the bucketloads, and turned down the heat to where it was bearable.

"Sarah," Orochimaru crooned from the blade. "You realize I can still see you naked, don't you?"

"So?" I groaned as I stepped into the shower. "You've seen me naked dozens of times."

"Yes," he continued. "But, it's more enticing when you least expect it." I felt a wave of nausea wash over me for no apparent reason that I knew of. "You see, even in the Totsuka Blade, we can communicate – and in severe cases, act upon – the wielders of the blade."

The pain erupted in my waistline and back so much that I wanted to pass out. I let myself slink slowly to the shower floor, breathing heavily, my eyes closed in pain.

"Stop," I hissed through grit teeth.

"Never," he crooned, and the pain intensified exponentially.

"Sarah-sama?" a kunoichi asked a few hours later when I hadn't come out of the shower yet. I was still breathing heavily, but I knew what Orochimaru had meant now. It was his way of apologizing to me – it hadn't been like I thought, but it was an attempt at an apology nonetheless, in his own ruthless, heartless and cruel ways.

"I resent that remark," he growled at I wet myself. "Oh, for Kami's sake, can you not keep clean for ten seconds?"

"No," I whispered back before replying to the kunoichi outside. "I'm fine – just tired!"

"Are you sure?" she asked as I turned off the water and Orochimaru questioned his genjutsu abilities from within the blade. Everything hurt, and I was more tired now than I had been when I'd hopped in the shower, but I was exhausted and wanting nothing more than sleep.

"Perfectly," I grumbled to them both. I slammed my bedroom door behind me, much to Orochimaru's chagrin, and collapsed onto the bed we'd shared.

Even in my dreams Orochimaru haunted me. He was the same image of perfection that I loved, only this time we were both naked. I blushed in embarrassment, wishing I had some clothes on. I also suddenly realized that he was young – too young. Twenty, twenty-five at most now when he was fifty-three.

"Come," he chuckled as clothes magically appeared on us both. It was still just enough to keep us barely covered. I followed him to who-knew-where, and stared at my husband as he led me inside of a large building that I saw eerily familiar.

"Where are we?" I asked him finally unable to bear that I didn't know where I was.

"The seal on the blade," he smiled. Oh, Kami, his smile, and it was the crooked one, too. It melted my insides so bad that everything blurred. "Hush, pet. You have nothing to fear – the other ninja inside the blade have all since given up getting out. The ones who sealed them and would miss them were all dead. There were a couple sealed in the blade that Sasuke-kun would be enticed by, but aren't too happy about his choices."

"Who?" I gasped, already sensing who it was.

"His parents," Orochimaru replied.

"The bodies were fakes," I realized. "Then, Itachi really did love them. They're trapped as twenty-year olds – how is that?"

"I'm not sure," Orochimaru grinned. "However, I am here as a twenty-six year old. I believe it cuts your age in half, but nobody's really certain…"

"Take me," I gasped, and he laughed. "I'm serious. Make love to me. have sex with me. However you want to phrase it."

"I already have," he chuckled. "The shower, if you'll recall."

"Oh, damn," I muttered. "No wonder I felt like such a masochist. Do it again."

He laughed for a few moments at this as a few ninja stared at us. "They are unsure of who you are," he explained. "Each person has a ninja inside of the blade to act as the guide for them. You must replace me with someone, and will it to be a replacement sealing in order for the occupant of guide to be filled, and it must be done by someone you would trust not to kill you."

"I'm sorry I cussed you out," I said sheepishly.

"I apologize for scaring you," he chuckled as a light danced behind his eyes. "Although, I won't deny that i wanted to make love to you every night whenever I thought you were dead. I kept wishing you would visit me in my dreams as a true angel."

"So, you're saying I don't look like an angel?" I asked as I put my hands on them.

"You are one," he retorted with a sinister smirk. "Perfect curves in the right places, wonderful hips for childbirth and carrying them…"

"Thanks, closet-perv," I said sarcastically.

"Only for you," he smirked as he snaked his arm around my waist. No pun intended. "Speaking of which, why would you ask Tsunade 'What's wrong with her' when you clearly knew I was a male and in pain?"

"I had to make myself look innocent and ignorant," I explained trying not to laugh and sound like it had been obvious. "Besides, I was only going to show off for you. I've…kind of been in love with you since I was fourteen…"

"I saw," he chuckled, "Watching your memories alongside you had its advantages. How did you find me that enticing?"

"I just did," I admitted sheepishly. "You were the one with the most abilities that had made an appearance so far, and it was really cool how you defeated three undefeated characters. That, and your eyes were an awesome color and were really amazing when fighting Anko."

"So, my masculinity had nothing to do with it? you'd have married me if I were a girl?" he asked amused.

"No, I mean, well, not that it wouldn't have crossed my mind, just…I'd probably have Kabuto change my gender so I could be a guy for you," I corrected quickly.

"And you would do the same if I were gay?" Orochimaru asked, and my eyes widened, unwanting to hear it. I nodded, and he yanked me into a powerful kiss. "I'm not, by the way," he chuckled when we broke apart at last.

"I just realized something," I yelled in shock. "I still have enemies in the other world, on Earth. I can seal them in the blade in exchange for some ninja, right?"

"I don't think you can," Orochimaru sighed. "They have to be a ninja, pet."

"Trickery worked with my cousins – it will help more with the enemies I've still got," I grinned evilly before jolting awake.

"The first thing we'll do once I get out of here is make love," he assured me as I redressed.

"Stop being such a sexy bastard and start acting like someone hates you!" I screamed out, then clamped my hands over my mouth. We were both frozen in panic, but nobody showed up, so the other Otonin were probably just too tired to care.

"Get control of your hormones," Orochimaru growled before leaving my head.

"Love you too," I muttered as I pulled out the scroll from the top drawer in my nightstand. With a familiar jerk on my navel, we were back on Earth.