I stood there, shocked. A was dead. Then I noticed a pice of paper on the ground. I already knew what it was. I picked it up, half afraid to open it.

Inside, A had writen in his perfect neat handwriting.

Dear, everybody. I hate myself and I hate this orphanage. I don't want to be the next L. I never did, I wanted to be an artist dammit, and nobody cared. You all just expected me to play the roll of L petfectly because I have a 176 IQ score. You are all sick bastards and I hope you know it. Now I have somthing special to say to Beyond Birthday. Thank you B. You were always there for me and you were my best friend since we were children. And you know I love you. But what I really must thank you for, is reminding me I really am useless. I know I'll never be smart enough or good enough, so why bother trying? I have been thinking of disposing of myself for a while, but when you told me "Just go kill yourself." I realized it was the only answere.

-With all due respect, Anthony Smithfire.

My eyes windened, I shoved the note into my jeans pocket and took off for the orphanage, knowing I would vomit if I even glanced at my friends lifeless body again.

I franticly dashed to Watari's office, tripping several times on the hallway carpeting. When I burst in the door he looked up, and saw me.

"Backup, what is it?"

I was breathing hard, my hands flat on his desk, shaking.

"It's...I...A..." I choked over my own words. "He...I...killed..."I couldn't even talk. My knees gave way and I sank down to the floor benieth me, where I proceeded to disgorge the contentse of my stomach, and sob uncontrollably.

Watari got up from his char and put a hand on my shoulder. He walked me to the nurse's office, because where else do you take a sobbing, puking kid?

Once seated in a plastic chair. Watari calmly asked what was wrong. It was ironic that he was so nice, being the head of an orphage that is so awful it forces succsessors to hang themselves.

"What happened, why are you so upset?"

I swallowed hard. "It's...A. A hanged himself."

I saw Watari's usually closed eyes widen. "He is dead?"

"Yes..." I started crying again. Yes he's in the woods!"

I didn't tell the man about the note, because I felt it was for me. I didn't want them to know everything about us. I stuck my hand in the pocket of my jeans and touched the paper.

The nurse, Mrs. Victor told me to lie down and try to be calm. I curled up on one of the cots. I didn't even bother trying not to think. After twenty minutes I was calm enough go to my room and opened my desk. I found a few pictures of A and me and sat down, staring at them.

In the first one, It was A's birthday. We were six years old at the time. Then it was my Birthday, we were ten. Lost was in there too. I also had some pictures of when we were older.

I tore every one of those pictures up. I shredded them with my fingernails and flushed them down the toilet.

Do you know why?

I hated the zero that floated over A's head. It reminded me that it was my fault I killed him.

Review pweese! And you'll get annother chapter! Tell me if you love it, hate it, have sugestions...