Seeing as I ripped all of your hearts out on the last one, I figured I'd better give you something lighter so all my lovely readers aren't sobbing. Enjoy the crack.
6/29 accusation.
Allen Walker was one happy little exorcist. After months of getting shuffled this way and that without pause, he finally had a day off, and so did many of his fellow exorcists. It looked like it could be a quiet day in the Black Order headquarters, which goes to say it was only a matter of time before something went wrong.
When the morning sun crept through Allen's window, he curled up tightly into a warm ball of blankets, hugging his pillow tightly and fully intending to sleep in. He tried to remember the last time he got to sleep properly, but couldn't. "Get the curtains Tim," he mumbled at his golem, who gripped the shade in tiny jaws and pulled it down until the room was dark again. Allen signed and was about to drift back to sleep when his stomach growled loud and insistently. Shut up, he told it, today I'm sleeping first. It growled once more in defiance but Allen ignored it and tried to fall back asleep.
Once again his attempt was thwarted when there was a loud explosion from somewhere in the depths of the building. Startled out of his half-asleep state, Allen shot up to sitting so fast he almost got whiplash. Only seconds after his stomach growled yet again. He put his head in his hands and groaned. There went that plan.
Oh well, he thought to himself, at least the day won't be a total waste. Kanda is coming back from his mission today…
Another growl removed him from his musing. "Fine, fine," he grumbled, hauling himself up out of bed and off to the cafeteria. Jerry had promised him an extra special breakfast since it was his day off, complete with his plethora of favorites and topped off by many Dango. Not to mention he had so much free time that he could actually linger over his food, meaning he ate ten plates in ten minutes rather than five.
As he was leaving the cafeteria, full and slightly mollified over his interrupted sleep, he ran into Lenalee. She also had the day off, and it was apparent by the bag slung over her shoulder that she would be going into town for some shopping as per usual.
"Hey Allen, what are you doing up? I thought you were going to sleep in today," she commented.
"I would have if something hadn't exploded, and food hadn't called," he replied.
"Oh, sorry about the explosion. That was brother, no surprise. Thankfully, whatever he was cooking up got destroyed in the blast. Although, speaking of brother, his birthday is coming up and I was thinking we should all throw him a surprise party."
"That's a good idea. Anything you need me to do?"
"Not right now unless you have any suggestions for decorations or gifts. I was just about to go town to buy some," Lenalee told him.
"No, you have the best taste for these sorts of things. Whatever you want to get is fine with me."
"Thanks. Have a good day then. I'll see you later, bye."
Allen waved Lenalee off before heading back in the direction of his room. For once he could just sit around and do nothing. Or, Lavi had given him a book to read that he might check out. Yes, that sounded like a relaxing way to while away the time until Kanda returned.
Meanwhile…
After the disaster the last time Lenalee went to town, Komui had taken it upon himself to bug her bag. His first attempt at a bug had blown up on him when he tried to hook it up to his listening device just this morning. He was lucky he managed to whip up another one in time. The sound quality wasn't perfect – it kept dissolving into static – but at least it hadn't caught fire yet.
Komui settled at his desk and flicked on the bug. If there was any sign that his precious Lenalee was on a date, he had a Komurin standing by. He heard the door to Lenalee's room close followed by some footsteps before it dissolved into static. When the sound came back, Lenalee had stopped to talk to someone:
"Hey Allen, what are you doing up? I thought you were going to sleep in today?"
"I would have if something hadn't exploded, and food hadn't called."
"Oh, sorry about the explosion. That was brother, no surprise. Thankfully whatever he was cooking up this time got destroyed in the blast.
That's when the sound quality dissolved again. "Bzzzz him bzzz party." Komui's eyes widened. He had been right! Lenalee was going to see some HE at a party!
Allen's voice cut back in with, "Bzzz good idea. Bzzzzz you need me bzzzz?" Komui inhaled sharply. That Allen, he always seemed like such a nice boy but this just proved that all perverted, awful men were out to corrupt his precious Lenalee!
"Bzz now bzzzzzzz," he heard her reply.
"Bzz taste bzzzz. Bzzzzzz you want bzz me." That was the final straw. He didn't even wait to hear Lenalee's, "Bzzzz. I'll see you later," before he'd pressed the emergency launch button for Komurin. He watched intently on the front gate camera as Lenalee walked out, away from that disgusting exorcist who would soon be no more. His eyes gleamed evilly as he peered out of the door of his office, clutching Komurin's controller tight.
Allen had nearly reached his room when an awful shudder ran down his spine. Not a moment later, he heard the loud, metallic footsteps that were characteristic of a… He shrieked and ran as the robot appeared around the corner, chanting "Kill Allen Walker… Kill Allen Walker…" He shot round after round of bullets at the thing from his innocence, but they didn't have any effect.
He spotted Lavi across the main atrium as he dashed out onto the circular hallway. "Help!"
"Allen, what the… WHOA!" Lavi ducked to avoid being trampled by the stampeding Komurin.
"Find Komui!" Allen shouted at Lavi, his voice momentarily trailing off as he disappeared around the other side of the circular main atrium. When he was back in earshot again, he continued, "I saw him toying with a remote a few days ago. I bet he's controlling this one!"
Lavi found Komui crouched in the shadows where he could just peer out of his office into the main hallway. "Morning supervisor, what are you up to this fine day," he remarked calmly, nearly scaring the beret off the man, who quickly hid the controller behind his back.
"Ah, Lavi, just doing a little…" Komui paused, scanning the room for ideas, "paperwork."
Lavi raised an eyebrow. "On the floor?"
"Well, uh, you know my desk is too comfortable. I'll fall asleep."
"Mhm, and what is that behind your back?" Lavi didn't leave Komui time to stutter up an excuse. He sighed. "Why did you set a Komurin on Allen this time?"
The mad scientist's face instantly turned from secretive to a cross between furious and teary. "That despicable exorcist is hitting on my precious Lenalee," he cried. "I bugged her purse, I heard them talking! It was fuzzy but I could still make out all his dastardly intentions!"
Lavi smacked his forehead with his palm. "How many times has Lenalee told you not to do that? She'll be pissed when she finds out you sent one of those things after someone without reason again."
"Without reason! I heard him!"
"Allen wouldn't hit on her," Lavi reassured. Being the expert at eavesdropping and sneaking that he was, Lavi had seen some very interesting things. Lately, Allen had begun meeting with a certain long-haired, grumpy exorcist in dark corners and deserted hallways just a bit more than someone who would be interested in Lenalee and her, ahem, gender persuasion.
"Why not?" Komui shouted, asking the exact question Lavi didn't want to answer.
"That's for Allen to tell you if he wants, boss, but trust me, he isn't into her."
"But all awful men are interested in my beautiful, innocent Lenalee," the supervisor shrieked.
Lavi abandoned his attempt at reason and diplomacy and made a grab for the remote. He anticipated the sleeping dart the supervisor would shoot his way and brushed it aside with his hammer. Just when it seemed he would get the device, he felt something prick the back of his neck. He collapsed into a heap; he saw something robotic out of the corner of his eye before he passed out. It looked to also be holding a set of blow darts and saying "Komurin mini…Komurin mini…"
After successfully taking out Lavi, Komui snuck out of his office excitedly to view the carnage. He held his blow dart gun at the ready in case anyone tried something funny. He laughed in manic delight as he watched the white-haired exorcist get chased around and around by his lovely Komurin.
"Supervisor! What the hell do you think you're doing this time?" shouted Reever from where he and the rest of the science team had taken cover on the elevator platform. "Did you disable the gun?"
Komui just laughed louder and crazier.
It was at that moment that Kanda arrived back from his mission. "What the fuck is all of this noise?" he yelled, stalking up the stairs from the underground river. He surveyed the scene for a moment before decapitating the Komurin when it made its next lap, too fast for Komui to get him with a sleeping dart.
"MY KOMURIN!" Komui wailed.
"Why the hell was another one of those damn things on the lose?"
"It was Allen!" Komui shouted through his sniffling, pointing an accusatory finger at the boy, who had slumped against the railing in relief. "I heard him hitting on my darling Lenalee!"
Kanda rolled his eyes. "He wasn't."
"Yes he was! I heard it with an electronic bug and my own ears. Lavi tried to say the same thing, but all despicable men want to hit on Lenalee. She's just too pretty for her own good," Komui rationalized
"Che, not all men want to hit on her."
"OF COURSE THEY DO!"
"Apparently you're too thick to get it through your skull, so I'll just have to show you," Kanda remarked. He paced over to where Allen was still recovering, grabbed the front of his uniform, and brought their faces together for a hard kiss. "Moyashi isn't hitting on Lenalee because he is mine."
On the elevator platform, Reever burst into peals of laughter. "Well Supervisor, it looks like those are two less boys you have to worry about around Lenalee.
Kanda scoffed in their general direction before stating, "These idiots are annoying. Come on Moyashi" With that, he started to drag the exorcist in the direction of his room.
"Okay," Allen mumbled, still dazed from being chased by Komurin and then kissed in front of the entire Order. Not exactly the quiet day he had imagined, but at least things were looking up.
Whew, I barely managed to make the day deadline on this one.