Chapter 5: A moment to live

As soon as the whole gang – minus Ruby and Skull Boy - were outside, Misery asked them to stop and gather around her. She took a brief look at them. Scardey had taken off his tie, Poe had taken off his regular clothes, although he looked just as embarrassed about it as everyone had expected. Doom Kitty came trailing behind them, but she stopped too, as she saw them. Iris was wearing her biker outfit, including the helmet. And there was…

"Frank…Len…I'm afraid you have to stay here."

The brothers looked at her, shocked.

"What?"

"But-"

"Skull Boy and I discussed this, but we just couldn't think of a way to masquerade the fact that you have two heads."

"Of course we have two heads, we're two people!" Len objected.

Misery tried to avoid rolling her eyes.

"Yes…and no. You're two heads on one body, and people outside of Gloomsville are going to pay too much attention to that. I mean, you've had some bad experience with that before, you told us so."

Frank seemed to be pondering at this for a few seconds before he sighed, turned his head left and said: "She's right, Len. Remember Plainsville?"

His "younger" brother looked down.

"That's not fair, Misery." Iris complained in solidarity.

"We all have to make some sacrifices, Iris. I mean, you have to walk around with a helmet visor down even though you're not riding a motorcycle."

"That reminds me…"

"We've discussed this before Iris", Poe sighed. "We can't afford a motorcycle on our travel budget."

"We can rent one."

"Also, you don't have a license." The crow added.

"Nobody ever asked me if I had a license to ride Squig", Iris pouted.

"They have no such thing as Squig in Medioca." Misery pointed out. "As for you boys, I'm afraid you just have to stay out here in the backyard.", she told Frank and Len "If you go back inside, you're going to tempt her. Just to be on the safe side, we should keep our distance until I get her substitute."

"What kind of substitute are you going to use for blood?" Poe asked "Black pudding? Steak rare done?"

"Heavens, no! There's real blood in those! You just have to wait and see.", Misery replied while studying her shopping list. "Everybody ready?"

"One sec!" Iris replied, and picked up a figure wearing a very small trenchcoat, a very small Fedora hat and sunglasses. It was Mr. Buns.

"Nice outfit", Misery commented. She noticed that nobody thanked her for the compliment, as if the rest of the gang thought it was addressed at Mr. Buns himself. Come to think of it, they probably did.

The gang walked slowly across the unkempt garden. Though she kept a stoic face, Misery swallowed as she opened the gate leading out into the street, and wondered if the others were feeling as nervous as she secretly was. She took out the shopping list once more, just to keep her mind on something else. This turned out to be a bad idea.

"Did you remember to put monocle polish on that list?" Poe asked her.

Misery didn't answer him because she was distracted by noticing a middle-aged lady with a terrier in leash, standing just a few feet away from them. She was looking curiously at Poe.

"Did that bird just talk?" the lady asked.

Misery looked her in the eyes, something which probably didn't help much, considering...

well, a lot of things, starting with her sunglasses.

"Do birds talk?", Misery asked her rhetorically.

"I don't think so..."

"Then it stands to reason that this bird didn't talk either.", Misery concluded with glum satisfaction, and the gang hurried onward.

"That was a close one, Poe." Iris reminded him. "Non-talking bird, remember?"

"Told you he couldn't do it!" a young boy's voice added smugly.

"Stay invisible, remember?" Misery hissed at Boo Boo.

With an annoyed growl, the kid ghost disappeared as quickly as he had materialized.

The gang walked for a while, not getting as much attention as Misery had feared at first, until they reached a paved pedestrian zone that looked like the main street. Misery studied the civilians for a while. She noticed men with suitcases who hurried in one direction, women with strollers and heavy bags who hurried in another, and senior citizens who walked somewhat more slowly in yet another direction. Misery didn't have much experience with mundane human society, but from her period of living in her mother's suburbia home, she knew that they would find what they needed by following the women with strollers.

"Okay, we should..." she began before turning he head. "Iris!"

Iris' attention had been drawn to a Harley V-Rod, whose nuances of black did admittedly match her own clothes and helmet. She was currently sitting on it, pretending to ride.

"Vroom, vroom!"

"Iris!" Misery snapped.

Her friend turned around, but she was still moving back and forth on the bike.

"Sorry, Misery, it just looked so cool."

"Ooh, you're so cute!" A random, middle-aged lady remarked as she passed them. This made Iris stopped moving back and forth. Slowly, she climbed off the bike.

"Oh yeah, you're a real badass!" Misery remarked sarcastically as Iris got off the motorcycle.

"Did Boo Boo make you say that?" Iris growled.

"Actually…yes.", Misery replied. This caused Poe to move up and whisper something in her ear.

"Poe, I'm not saying all of that." Misery sighed.

Ruby's life philosophy – or one of them, she had several – was that as long as you knew you had friends out there somewhere, you were never truly alone.

For the first time ever, she was beginning to doubt this. Skull Boy was in the kitchen, Frank and Len were sitting outside, and the rest of her friends were not too far away. Yet she had never felt more alone. She walked up towards a life-sized mirror and looked at her reflection for a while. Misery is completely right, Ruby mused; there is no reason why a vampire should be invisible in a mirror, what a silly idea. And yet, looking at her own reflection made her feel more human. At least as long as she didn't move close enough to notice the little fangs…

Skull Boy would've banged his head repeatedly against the wall if he didn't think it would worry Ruby even more. He always rambled on. So why did he have no idea what to say to Ruby when she really needed a comforting word? Could it be that the only thing he really knew how to talk about was finding his purpose in life? Even though he was quite possibly undead – he'd read that someplace – that didn't mean he had any experience in this matter. Of all the potential ancestors he had made theories about over the years, the idea that he might be coming from a long line of vampires had never occurred to him.

Skull Boy peeked out the window and looked down at Frank and Len, sitting on the porch in the backyard. They could never leave each other's side. That was not always a good thing, but right now, Skull Boy wished he could had no choice but to stay by Ruby's side, and force himself to find the right words.

Then he noticed that Frank and Len suddenly got up, as if they were distracted by something. The two brothers moved towards the bushes. Curious, and worried that someone from town had taken notice of them, Skull Boy took the chance of opening the window and peek out to try and get a better look…

( a few minutes earlier)

"Frank?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think Ruby really would've drunk our blood?"

Frank had been afraid of that question. The answer he wanted to give his brother was "no", but…

"I…don't know, Len. I really don't know."

"If she'd bitten us, do you think we would've started eating spiders?"

"Spiders?"

"Yeah, like in the movie."

"Well, Skull Boy told us not to believe everything we see in movies."

"I thought it was Misery who said that?"

"I guess they both said it, sorta."

"Well, I hope they're right. I ate a spider on a dare once, when I was a kid, and I didn't like it."

"I know, Len, I was the one who dared ya, remember?"

They both laughed.

"So I guess Ruby isn't going to command an army of rats, either?" Len continued.

"Rats?"

"Yeah, like in that other movie…" Len began before he was hushed by his brother.

"Frank?" he asked with his voice lowered.

"I heard something!" Frank whispered, and got up – "From those bushes over there!"

Dragging with him the left body half belonging to his brother, Frank crept slowly and determinedly towards the bushes, with Len following him less stealthily and more hesitantly. The brothers stopped as they suddenly looked into a pair of yellow eyes.

The figure that slowly rose from his hiding place in the bushes didn't seem surprised to see them, but he did seem just a tad bit angry.

"What are you doing in my home?", he demanded.

At the same moment, inside said home, Ruby was suddenly overcome by an instinct she couldn't quite explain.