This Day
He was the unseen, the silent blade. She was the protector, the shining lance.
Together, they will fight.
Right and wrong are more often shades of gray than black and white.
Can they change the fate of the galaxy?
Can they save each other?
"Can I help you, Thane?"
"Have you seen Shepard, Miss Chambers?"
"I think she's talking to Mordin in the Tech Lab."
"Please inform her that I would like to speak to her."
"Thane? Is there something wrong? Can I help you at all?" Kelly examined his face in concern, noting the drawn brow ridges.
"Thank you, no. I'll await Shepard in my quarters."
Thane tried to meditate, his hands clasped before him in his customary pose, but calm would not come. Kolyat was his only contribution to the galaxy. He had few regrets, but his neglect regarding Kolyat was one of them. His son should not walk his path, repeat his mistakes. Thoughts of his son and wife wove through his mind. His memory was both blessing and curse.
Urgent hands clutch at me. Attendants, both drell and hanar, scurry about the room. Low groans sound through her chest.
"Breathe," one of the attendants croons. "You must breathe. Now push."
I squeeze her hand and wipe cool water over her brow. Her eyes are almost unseeing as she strains.
"Almost there. Once more, push."
I put my arm around her shoulder, support her as her muscles fight. Sound of slickness, then a sputtering, wailing cry. She falls back upon the bed, pale under her scales.
"A boy. With a good set of lungs," the nurse states, wincing at the strong bawls.
The hanar gather around the tiny form, intone, "Welcome to this soul. He is Enkindled. The gift is returned." One of them takes my son in its tentacles, puts him in my wife's arms. They depart, leave us alone in the room.
She smiles at me, triumphant and glowing. "What shall we name him?"
I smile back, enraptured by the life before me. "I thought..your father's name was Kolyat, wasn't it?"
She gazes fondly at the squirming bundle in her arms. "Kolyat Krios. Yes, that is a good name."
The sound of the door opening brought him back to the present.
"Thane, you wanted to see me?"
"Yes. Now that you are here, though, it seems more difficult to talk about."
She listened closely as he explained how he had received word of his son, now on the Citadel. Her expression was unjudging when he explained how he had abandoned them, how his wife died, Kolyat's distancing.
"Thane, I'll be glad to help you, but I don't have your contacts or your tracking skills. Why do you need my help?"
"I don't need your help. I want it. My body has been blessed with the skills to take life. You have..brighter gifts. Your presence, your example, may persuade him more than words alone." He couldn't explain the rest of it, not even to himself. He wasn't sure why he wanted her company. The job would technically be easier alone.
She seemed to understand what he didn't, something unknown lurked in her expression. "I'll get us to the Citadel as soon as possible."
Kolyat was sitting with his arms crossed across his chest when Thane walked into the room. He looked up, his face contracted in anger. "I can't believe you show up now. I could've done it and gotten away clean, just like you. Instead I'm locked up here. And who was that woman? She punched me."
"I'm sorry that you were hurt, Kolyat. Commander Shepard came to help and she saved your life. Bailey was ready to shoot. Even if you weren't killed, they would have caught you, and the results would be worse."
"Worse? You've done the same thing for decades, and you've never been caught. I can do anything you can do, Father."
The words struck him like lead pellets. The thought that his son was trying to emulate him had haunted him since he'd learned of the hit. "Kolyat...I don't want you to be like me. I have no other skills. My decisions have led us to this point, my choices led to your mother's death. I have killed...in cold blood, on my own conscience. You have more to offer."
"So you can lead whatever life you choose, but I have to be a good little boy?"
"You have a choice, Kolyat. Do you truly wish to be like me? If you wish to reject all that I am?"
Kolyat slumped, conflict written over his features. "I...I don't know, I guess. I barely know who you are. I read your file. The package you left for me. The banker said you hadn't contacted him on schedule, so they were sending it to me according to your agreement. Why didn't you tell me any of it?"
"I was trying to protect you. I didn't want my enemies to come after you because of me. I lost your mother. If you had been..if you too, had been killed because of me..." Thane could not continue.
Silence lapsed between them, both of them reliving decisions made, opportunities lost.
"Why did you leave me?" Kolyat spoke at last. His tone was that of a young boy looking for his father, an echo of memory.
Thane hesitated, trying to find the right words. If there were any right words that weren't ten years too late. His reply came haltingly. "I..I couldn't face you, Kolyat. She was killed because of me. Anger consumed me. I traced her killers across the galaxy, hunted them down like animals, let them linger for my revenge. When the last one coughed out his life before me, I realized that I was...empty. There was no satisfaction, only the bitter dregs of regret. I tried to return to you, but you were..older. You had friends, family, a future. What could I give you other than darkness?"
"You should have tried harder!"
"Yes. I should have." He reached out, tentatively, offering his hand. "But I'm trying now. Will you?"
A long conversation later, Thane emerged from the interrogation room. It had been a difficult beginning, but it was a beginning. Hopefully, they could continue to build on that. Shepard was waiting for him.
"How'd it go?"
"Our problems ar... They aren't something I can fix with a few words. We'll keep talking, see what happens."
Bailey spoke up quietly, "Your boy shot some people, no one I'd feel sympathy for, but there it is."
"I watched those guys shaking down business and threatening humans," Shepard objected.
"But he can't just get away with it."
"The kid wants to make a difference, give him community service."
"Community service for attempted murder? What jury would agree to that?"
"None that I've seen, this would need to stay out of the judiciary, strictly within C-Sec." Shepard shivered an eyelid at Bailey.
"An interesting idea. It might work, I'll think about it."
"Thank you, Captain." With a lighter heart, Thane shook hands with Bailey and turned toward the Normandy's dock, prepared to put the day's events behind him.
Shepard stopped him with a hand on his elbow. "We're not done here yet. Garrus needs us." She guided him out of the C-Sec offices and into the wards. "He got information about the guy who betrayed his team. I agreed to help him track the guy down and I'd like your help on this, too. I'm worried about him." The wards were crowded, but she guided him skillfully with small pressures against his arm.
"You needn't ask, Shepard. My arm is yours."
They stopped in front of some doors marked WAREHOUSE. "Garrus said he'd meet us here. I don't see him yet though." She craned her neck around.
"Before he gets here... Shepard, I wanted to thank you." He reached out and took her hand, shook it in gratitude. "You've helped me accomplish more than I thought possible. I've spoken to my son." An actual smile drifted across his face for a moment.
Her smile was searching as she squeezed his hand lightly in return. "I'm always here for you, Thane. Whatever you need."
"Shepard, there you are. I've got a lead on Fade. His contact should be....am I interrupting something?" Garrus had approached unnoticed by either of them. His mandibles twitched slightly at seeing them hand in hand.
"We were just wondering where you were." Shepard released him with a last press of fingers. "Let's go find that contact."
"Shepard, you're in my shot," Garrus' voice came over the com. From where he stood near the shuttle, Thane could see Shepard standing directly between Garrus' position and another turian.
"Shepard, dammit, if he moves, I'm taking the shot."
"Garrus, look at him. He's already paying. There's nothing left to kill."
Garrus' voice grew harder. "He hasn't paid enough. He still has his life."
Thane could see Garrus' talon tremble on the trigger. For the first time in ten years, Thane found himself wavering. He could reach either Shepard or Garrus from his position, but which one? Should he help her, to block the shot himself; to pull her away, to safety, to let Garrus have his revenge? Or help Garrus; to persuade; to dissuade; to take him down? Should he take the shot, spare both her and Garrus? What difference another life on his conscience? A tiny red dot danced over Shepard's helmet. He reached for his rifle.
In his mind's eye, he stood on the walkway instead of Garrus.
Laser dot trembles on target's skull. The smell of spice on the spring wind. Sunset eyes defiant in the scope. Her body trembles. Not fear, indignation. Her mouth moves. "How dare you?"
"Did you take the shot?"
"Not...that day." A different voice this time. Not hers. It sounded... It was his own voice, unfamiliar from long silence. "Not...this day." He made his choice, let go of his gun. If Garrus decided to take his shot, neither Shepard nor Sidonis would fall. He knew the emptiness of revenge. Garrus would not have their blood on his hands.
"You've got to let it go, Garrus. Your men deserve better. Would they have wanted this?"
Sidonis' voice came over the radio, resigned. "Tell Garrus I'm sorry. And...let him do what he needs to do."
Thane looked around, spotted an access ladder. The metal was cold under his hands.
"Just...go." Garrus' voice came suddenly over the com, tired and full of pain. "Tell him to go."
"He's letting you go. You're getting a second chance, Sidonis. Don't waste it." Sidonis gaped, surprised, disappointed, scurried away.
Thane released the ladder, slumped back against the shuttle in relief. Shepard had talked him down, an enraged turian with a target in sight, and she had stopped him. She never ceased to amaze him. She inspires us to do more than we think we can.
Garrus stalked up to them. "Shepard, I know you want to talk about this, but I don't. Not yet."
"It was for the best, Garrus. Give it time."
The car was mostly silent as Shepard drove Thane and Garrus back to the docking area. Garrus sat across from him in the rear compartment, motionless except for the rapid shifting of his eyes.
"For what it's worth, Mr. Vakarian, I have stood over my wife's murderers, watched as they died in pain and terror. Revenge...it wounds the avenger too."
"I want to know I did the right thing. Not just for me -- for my men."
"The galaxy is not a simple place. Right and wrong are more often shades of gray than black and white."
"It's so much easier to see the world in black and white. Gray...I don't know what to do with gray. Thanks for trying, Krios. I just..I need some distance from this place. Let's get back to the Normandy."
A/N: Thanks are needed for the usual suspects who helped me to flesh out this chapter. Any input, criticism, or feedback is appreciated.