Memory

He was the unseen, the silent blade. She was the protector, the shining lance.
Together, they will fight.
Right and wrong are more often shades of gray than black and white.
Can they change the fate of the galaxy?
Can they save each other?

"Excuse me, Shepard." Thane caught her before she hit the floor, eased her back on to her feet.

"I'm sorry, Thane, I didn't see you there. I'm all left feet today." She frowned slightly. Her glance fell on his upturned sleeve, traced the patterns on his arm, spotted the small welt of a sampling needle. "What's this?" She touched a finger to the bump as he hastily rolled the leather back down. "Were you seeing Dr. Chakwas? Is it your illness?"

"No...no. She and Mordin merely wished to take samples, do their own research. They were rather insistent, and I saw no point in arguing."

She brightened, releasing his arm and falling into step beside him. "I'm glad about that, Thane. The Illuminated Primacy might have a head start, but Mordin is several types of genius. Add Chakwas, and the technology we've been picking up into the mix, and I wouldn't be surprised to hear that they'd cooked up a miracle." A shrug and a smile sent his way. "Where are you headed? Do you have a few minutes to talk? How is Kolyat doing?"

"He is well. Bailey has him repairing security cameras and taking notes during interviews. I suspect he is proud to be present during investigations in spite of his grumbling. And you? You are well?"

She waited until they were seated at his table before answering. "I'm good. I just got back from talking with Garrus when I walked right into you. Thank you for talking to him in the shuttle. He wasn't ready to listen to me, but I think you got through to him a little."

"I was glad to help. You are reconciled, then?"

"More or less. He isn't quite ready to let it all go yet, but he's getting there."

"I spoke only the truth. I have been on that end of the laser. There was no satisfaction in my revenge."

"You mentioned that earlier. They murdered your wife and you hunted them down? Who were they?"

"Batarians. A slaver ring that was preying on hanar outer colonies. I'd killed their leaders. They paid the Shadow Broker to find out who I was, but they were afraid of me, so they went after her. They came for her while I was away. I thought she was safe. I...was wrong."

I enter the house, look around. "Irikah?" I call. No answer. "Kolyat?"
Broken glass under my feet. Smell of blood in the muffling air.
Dark splotch near a window. Dread hollows my chest.

"I found out who they were, went after them. I was taught to grant death quickly, cleanly. To minimize suffering. Them--I let them linger.

"Groans. Choking. Smell of blood in the still air. His limbs twitch. His voice begs. 'End it, drell.' I ignore him.
Viscera drips from a blinded eye. Knife rips through shredded flesh. His voice gurgles, sobs in fear, fades to silence.
Barred sunlight glints off shattered bone."

A gentle warmth on his wrist brought him out of the memory. Shepard's eyes were wide and dark on his face. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you relive that."

"I should apologize to you. That wasn't a...pleasant memory. But it is why I had to speak. I would not wish such on anyone else."

"You were working on instinct. Don't blame yourself."

"If I don't, who will? We must carry the weight of our decisions, Shepard. You, of all people, know this. I made the choice to hunt them. They're the only lives I've taken of my own choice. The only deaths on my own conscience."

"They killed innocents to get to you. For you and me, death is necessary, we only fight when we have to. Death was obviously a sport to them. You ended that. You're a good person, Thane; you wouldn't be feeling guilty if you weren't. Guilt over the past never goes away. You can only do your best to improve the moment you are in. 'There is never time in the future in which we will work out our salvation. The challenge is in the moment; the time is always now.' "

He thought slowly over this new consideration. The idea was a strange one. "'Trust life, and it will teach you, in joy and sorrow, all you need to know?' Perhaps. That is..something that had not occurred to me before. You have given me much to meditate upon." He sat back, feeling oddly perturbed, like the jar of an unexpected shoulder come to bear under a struggled burden. "Thank you for listening, Shepard." A tiny note of wonder crept into his voice. "I haven't spoken about this in-- I don't think I ever have. I didn't have anyone left to tell it to. You're the only friend I've made in ten years."

She smiled at him mysteriously as she stood to leave. "Friend, hmmm? Well, it's a start."

"'A start?' I...That's...intriguing."

"Isn't it just?" A dazzling smile flashed at him as she walked out.

Shepard had insisted he stay behind on this mission due to Pragia's humid environment. She was adamant that he avoid climates that would exacerbate his illness. He had bowed to her guardianship, thinking to take some time for meditation. Much had happened to him, more was yet to come.

Instead of prayer, he found his thoughts turning to the recent past. He was still amazed that Kolyat had--not forgiven him--accepted his existence, perhaps. One of the shadows of his past had a glimmer of light reflected upon it. He would not fail Kolyat again, for whatever time he had left. Bailey would be a good role-model for Kolyat to follow. Or Shepard, perhaps. She had certainly made an impression on Kolyat, and Kolyat could do worse than follow her example.

Shepard. She had sought him out for his assistance against the Collectors, but she had ended up helping him instead. The irony was not lost on him, even while he was grateful for her help. She was not at all what he'd expected when he first saw her. She had looked so fragile even in her armor. Skin instead of scales, no natural armor to speak of. Yet within that fragile form was dwelt a being of iron will and fierce determination. He had relied on secrecy, the stealthy knife, to get close to Nassana, she had shone in like a lance, obvious, visible, precise, clearing all obstacles that happened to cross her path until she reached her goal.

Dawn approaches. Slatted square of pale light shines ahead. I am close to my goal. Sound of detonations, screams, then silence. I hear the door open without seeing it. The woman has gained the room first, but I will not be bested. I prepare my body for combat.

"Shepard? But...you're dead?"

"I got better."

"And now you're here to kill me."

"I'm not an assassin, Nassana. But I'm looking for one."

Metal slips and rattles against plastic. Have they heard me? No, their attention is facing Shepard. The name is familiar. Little wonder that she came so far so quickly. She was reputed to be the best that her race had to offer, and she is looking for me. Curious. It does not matter. Her appearance gives me an opening.

I slide through the vent, drop soundlessly to the floor. The first guard's neck snaps like a brittle branch. I punch the second in the throat, his death cry is the first alert. The asari commando has her shotgun drawn. My bullet goes through her heart. Nassana turns, face contorted with anger. I spin, seize her wrist as she fires, continue the move, step into her reach, pull her to me. My gun nestles against her body. Violet heartsblood drips down. I close my eyes, tenderly cradling her in my arms. Last breaths gurgle out of her lungs. I lay her down upon the table, gently cross her arms over her chest as the life fades from her eyes.

Kalihira, hear my prayer. Take this soul into your embrace and let it rest in the seas of eternity.

.

"That was some entrance. Thane Krios, I presume? I've come a long way to find you," her voice interrupts.

"One moment. Prayers for the wicked must not be forsaken."

"She certainly was wicked."

I open my eyes briefly, reply, "Not for her. For me."

.

And when my time comes, grant me forgiveness.

.

He realized that he had been prepared to die that day. He would have stopped Nassana's brutalizations. If her guards had killed him, it would have been a good death. But it seemed the gods were not done with him; someone else had intervened, protecting him even from himself. Instead, he had come aboard the Normandy. Shepard's ship. And she seemed determined to invade his meditations. Even when telling her of the darkest parts of his past, she had not turned away. Her parting words to him replayed through his mind on a regular basis. Friends--a start. Could they be more than friends? Was it even possible? It was..an interesting thought. Something to keep in mind.

Come what may, Kalihira, and Arashu, had shown him grace indeed.

A/N: I don't know why, but will no longer allow scene separations via ***** or extra line breaks for me. Please let me know if I missed any breaks. Special and wonderful thanks go out to kiwibliss, for her feedback and reviewing abilities, and lyssalu for the philosophical debate. 10 points to whoever can identify the quotes.

Thanks also go to those who have left feedback or reviews. It's good to know whether I am doing anything right!