I Write Sins Not Tragedies

Chapter 3

The bathroom walls felt confining, their emptiness a complete contrast to the plethora of emotions erupting within him. Naruto avoided looking into the mirror, not wanting to see the tears that were cascading down surely red cheeks. He didn't know what compelled him to say those words the way that his did, the hostility was so unlike him. Perhaps it was the past, all the pent up anger wanting to pour out in that one statement. It was all the hatred he forced himself to layer on top of the hurt, all the lies he screamed in order to simply fall asleep at night. Now that the person that induced all those sleepless nights and empty days was sitting there trying to say he cared about the blonde, it just wasn't possible to forgive him.

Naruto turned on the water to the shower, letting it warm up while he stripped himself of his clothing. He listened for a moment by the door, but heard nothing. Either Sasuke went to sleep or maybe was just sitting there. More likely than not it was the latter.

Stepping into the already running water, he let the liquid roll across his skin. Eyes shut, a sigh left his lips. He remembered it all, even though he'd worked so hard to block it away. It was all just resurfacing.

"Naruto, I'm so excited for you!" Hinata squealed, her eyes gleaming with happiness. Naruto looked into the full length mirror while she fixed his silver tie. The fact that the moment was here was amazing. In less than an hour he would be Mr. Naruto Uchiha.

The door to the bedroom opened, Naruto smiling when he saw Iruka with the rings. His smile, however, was wiped away in the same time it appeared. His godfather's face was anything but ecstatic.

"Dad...?" The blonde moved towards Iruka, eyes widening, searching desperately for an answer.

"...he's gone."

Naruto didn't respond to the words. He merely pushed past the man and walked across the hallway, hand resting nervously on the door to Sasuke's room. Everything in him begged that when he opened the door his raven would be standing there with his world famous smirk. He wanted to see those dark obsidian eyes gleam as they met his own liquid blue ones.

The door swung open effortlessly. And it was empty. Naruto's footsteps echoed through the nothingness, his legs feeling like led as it sunk in. He collapsed to his knees by the side of the bed, only just noticing the note on the pillow.

I'm sorry. -S.

He crumpled the small piece of paper and threw it across the room. The tears never stopped.

The water stopped running. He didn't want to cry again. He didn't want any more sleepless nights. He was done hiding from the world because the person he loved left. He was done being broken.

When Naruto walked back into the bedroom, his eyes flashed to the clock. Realizing that it was only a little after five in the morning. But also noting that there was no way in hell he'd be going back to sleep until much later that night. Sasuke was still sitting on the bed, except now he had on a pair of boxers and a t-shirt. Naruto just looked at him for a while, their eyes meeting a few moments following. The tension was painful, but neither of them knew where to begin.

"I'm sorry..." Sasuke started.

"Sorry isn't going to cut it this time around." His gaze became intense. "Don't you think I deserved more than that? Not even an explanation? Nothing? No phone call? I don't see you for years, years, and suddenly you want to jump back into my life. I can't believe I've been so fucking stupid as to actually let you back into my life, nonetheless my bed! I must be so delusional, but maybe that's your fault. You had me so convinced that you loved me, that you cared about me, I laid awake night after night NOT hating you! I actually tried to make it my fault, and you know what? I did a damn well job convincing myself."

A weight felt as though it was just lifted off of the blonde's shoulders. His heart and mind were baffled at the words that had just escaped his lips. All the repressed emotions poured out of him in that moment of agitation. He could see Sasuke letting it all sink in. He saw the hurt settle, dark eyes pained.

"Naruto, I never meant to hurt you like that…I didn't know you loved me so much…" Sasuke seemed at a loss. He couldn't fathom the anger emanating off of the blonde.

"You knew. I know you knew. You knew you were my world. Sasuke, you were my everything." The raven finally got up from his spot on the bed and walked towards Naruto. Not to kiss him. Not to distract him. But to tell him the truth. He reached out for Naruto's hands, hoping he wouldn't be shoved away. The blonde was in too much shock and pain to pull away so his hands lay limp within Sasuke's grasp.

"There was a reason I left…a reason I couldn't tell you to your face." Sasuke looked down at the bedroom floor, wanting to hide the pained expression surely clouding his features. He gently moved Naruto to sit beside him on the bed before letting the next few words leave his lips. "I was married."

Naruto stared at him in utter disbelief. He waited. He waited for the joke to be revealed, for the real truth to leave his lips. But there was nothing more said. Sasuke was the one who was really waiting; he was waiting for a reaction, the hatred, the outburst. He was waiting for Naruto to tell him he hated him.

"…why didn't you just tell me?" The strain in the blonde's voice was agonizing to listen to. It was such a rare tone to hear from a boy who was always smiling and bubbly.

"I didn't know how you'd react…Naruto, she was going to show up in the middle of the wedding and burst it out to everyone. I didn't want to hurt you like that…"

"I think you should start from the beginning Sasuke. Like…why you were married to her in the first place?" Naruto stared at him, his eyes burning for answers. Sasuke took a deep breath.

"It was my dad's plan. She was the daughter of this huge company. Haruno Incorporated. We were both only twenty-one at the time. She was ecstatic about the whole ordeal. Me on the other hand, I'd rather rot in hell than spend a day with the whore. Sakura. That was her name. She was obsessed with me almost automatically. It was really…disturbing." Sasuke ruffled his hair for a moment, exasperated at having to talk about the person that he hated most. "The night of our honey-moon I told her I was gay and she wasn't too pleased. The fucking bitch still made me have sex with her. Either that, or she'd tell my parents. After the first few months, I honestly couldn't take it. So I told my parents myself. When they didn't want me anymore, I left. And then my life got a thousand times better. That's when I met you."

Sasuke couldn't help but smile a little when he said that. Naruto mirrored the expression, his rage subsiding for that little moment. There was something in that little exchange that gave them both a scrape of hope.

"And Naruto, I fell head over heels in love with you. I fell for your hair, your eyes, your smile, your everything. The way you did the stupidest things all the time yet it never made you upset. The way you were always so determined to do what everyone said you couldn't. The fact that you were my complete opposite baffled me. But I couldn't get enough of you. I loved you so much. And Naruto, I still love you so much." He paused to get his head straight about the explanation. "And uh…when I proposed to you, I had honestly completely forgotten about Sakura. That pink-haired bimbo was the last thing on my mind. All I cared about was spending the rest of my life with the man of my dreams."

His fingers tightened around Naruto's hands, the sudden change in pressure causing Naruto to carefully watch the other man as he continued to speak.

"I was in the room that day…the day of our wedding. I was alone. Shikamaru had gone to check on the rings and I was fixing my tie. My phone rang. It was her. She was screaming. Screaming about how I left her and how they've been looking for me after all this time. Five years later and this bitch wasn't over me. She went on about how they were on their way to the church. They were going to prove that I couldn't marry you because I hadn't officially divorced with Sakura. Naruto I panicked and told her to stay the fuck away. But she didn't listen. I never panic. You know me. She scared me so much. I thought she was going to hurt you. She threatened me with that. So I told her to calm down and that I'd go."

Naruto could see tears welling at the brims of Sasuke's eyes.

"I saw you through the window as I got into my car. You looked beautiful…I couldn't stop crying as I drove away. By the time I got to Sakura's, I was more than ready to strangle the life out of her. My parents were there. Their signature expressions of disapproval mounted for all to see. I waltzed in there and gave them all a piece of my fucking mind. And goddamn you should have seen their faces after that," he laughed slightly, "I told them that I was filing for a divorce with their bitch daughter and that after the divorce paper, I was filing for restraining orders on all of them. My parents included."

"Your parents too?"

"They hated me anyways. It just helped them…when I came back, you weren't here. No one would tell me where you had gone. Seeing you at Kiba's wedding yesterday…it was like the miracle I never thought would happen. So many emotions rushed through me. More than anything though, all I felt was guilt. When I walked up to you, I just…I just started talking. I just bitched and did what I used to do and hoped you would play along. And you did…now, when I came to your house I just couldn't stay away from you. I had to…just hold you in my arms. I realize now that when I saw you…the first thing I should have done should have been to explain it all. Not to wait until you burst out at me and have to ask for a reason…you do deserve a reason. You deserve the best of everything, someone that would never hurt you. I don't deserve someone as perfect as you…" A tear fell down his porcelain skin, Naruto reaching across to wipe it away almost as though it were instinctive. He didn't move his hand from the man's cheek, their eyes interlocked.

"You should have just told me. I would have come with you. We could have kicked their ass together or something. You just…you shouldn't have just left me Sasuke…" Naruto could feel the waterworks welling up within him again. His throat constricted as he tried to hold it back. Sasuke smirked at him, laughing pitifully at himself before pulling away from Naruto's touch. The raven reached down for his dress pants that had been strewn across the floor, rummaging through the pockets for something. What he pulled out was a necklace.

"Remember this?" He waved the trinket in front of Naruto for a moment.

"Of course…" The blonde held it in his palm. He'd gotten it for Sasuke at the boardwalk on one of their vacations. They had gone down to Ocean City, New Jersey for a week over the summer and Naruto remembered seeing it and buying it for his fiancé. It was a charm that meant love, something that was supposed to remind the wearer that the person that loved him, would always love him.

"I wore it all the time. Or I at least had it with me." Sasuke pulled Naruto closer. "I'd stare at it every night, just hoping that I could find you again. And swearing that the moment I found you, I'd never let you go."

Naruto put his palm up to Sasuke's forehead, holding it there for a moment. "Are you feeling alright? You've expressed so many emotions in such a short period of time I'm sure it's been exhausting for you."

Sasuke smirked. "You're a moron."