"Castle." She snuggled into his chest, seeking for comfort. He kept her arm around her while his free hand reached for the emergency button. But Kate stopped her.
"Don't." She whispered.
"I'm okay, I'm fine, look at me." She continued. He looked at her scared face. He knew she scared of bad news, she always has.
She scared of the bad news a thousand time more than she scared of keep it going.
"I just had a nightmare, I'm shock, that's all. I'm fine."
He concerned even more, but he had to be calm to make her calm too. So he took a deep breath, hoped that he'll say the right words.
He never know about her nightmares. Last time she had it, he didn't have the time to ask her what really happened. And then he started thinking about mornings in the precinct when she looked like she was exhausted.
Was it because she didn't sleep ?
Was it because she had nightmare ?
"What nightmare, Kate ?"
She was unsure that talking is the right choice. She never shared any of this to anybody, and it was nice to be taken care of ,she confessed that to herself. But she wasn't used to open herself.
She didn't want him to know that she was that weak.
That vulnerable.
That she's not extraordinary enough to him.
But after all, Castle was her everything, her wall to lean on, her light to keep her motivated, her solid ground to keep her steady.
Castle noticed her frown. "Hey, what are you thinking ? Please, tell me."
God, he hates it when she's quiet.
"Kate? Talk." He tried again.
And then she talk about everything that bothering her.
"I dreamed about this afternoon. I dreamed that you didn't come back. That you...that you leave me here." She started to cry. She always knew she'd end up crying.
She needed to.
He was very hoping that he'd see tears, but there is nothing.
Just her sobbing.
"Kate, I screwed up yesterday, and I will never ever leave you again. Okay ? I love you. But right now I have to make sure that you're okay, got it ?"
Kate's heart pounded. "I'm okay. Don't call them."
"Kate-"
"Please." Her voice sounded hopeless.
"Kate, I promised the nurse to tell them if you starting to throw up again. I'll be here with you. I'll be here with you holding your hand when they're here. Okay ?" He kissed the temple of her head. The simple question was enough to make her dizzy.
If she started to argue again, he'll get mad and leave her. If she let the nurse come, she'll get the feeling she hates so much.
Kate only nodded.
"I will be the one who talk to her, Kate. You tell me, how are you feeling ? Be honest." Asked Castle.
She couldn't stand looking at his eyes. "Nausea, as ever. And I feel so weak, like I don't have any energy to stay awake, and my liver hurts, and..."
The nurse interrupted them by opening the door.
Castle sighed in relief. She was a different nurse.
"Anything to help , Detective Beckett ?"
Castle was the first to speak.
"She vomited about 10 minutes ago, and she cried but didn't have the tears. What is that supposed to mean ?" He couldn't help but panic.
The nurse nodded and turned to Kate's side. "You vomited the gastric acid too much,Detective. How are you feeling ?"
"She told me she felt feverish, nausea, tired, her liver hurts." Castle answered. Kate nodded in agreement.
"Okay, Detective Beckett, I'll see your temperature." She jabbed a thermometer to her mouth. While waiting the result, the nurse called the cleaning staff to clean the floor.
"103.8." said the nurse. Castle shook his head, didn't know what to do.
"The fever in Hepatitis A is supposed to be low. Her temperature is high because of the stress and exhaustion. It made her sweating much. And you said she cried but didn't have the tears, Mr. Castle ? It made sense for the complication of dehydration."
Castle released a breath he didn't know he was holding the first time and gave a squeeze to Kate's hand.
"What can we do ?"
"I'll give her IV fluids, be back in 30 minutes. Meanwhile, try to relax. Mr. Castle, take care of her while I'm off. And Detective," the nurse turned to Kate,
"be honest with him." Said the nurse as she leave the room.
Rick looked back at Kate. "Kate, you have something you want to say ?"
Kate sighed. "Promise you won't laugh ?"
"Never." He stroked her hand.
"Actually it's not a big deal, it's just that.. I... I guess I just miss my Mom, that's all."
Rick running his fingers through his hair. He couldn't do anything about thing like this.
"What can I do, Kate ?" His emphatic voice made her shiver.
"I don't know…. But you can always hold me."
He nodded, and quickly wrapped both of his arms to her. She rested her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.
"It's been 13 years, Rick. I miss her so much. I never thought I'd still be here by now. I only have my dad, Castle." Her voice broke. He held her tighter.
"For the rest of the month, he was my hero. He was my rock. I cried every night, and he told me everything's gonna be okay, and I believe him. He used to play a song in his piano every night. My lullaby. But one night, he.." She took a deep breath as she felt Castle placed a kiss on her hair.
"...he stopped. I thought he was sleeping or what, but I didn't found him anywhere. And then I heard a voice from the bathroom. The smell of the alcohol hit my nose as soon as I stepped in. That moment, I realized everything's not gonna be okay."
"God, Kate, I really wish I was there to get you through that." His body gone cold to just think about the younger Kate facing moments like that. She was at Alexis' ages.
"You were there. You got me through that. Thanks to your writing skill." She smiled.
"But it wasn't the same."
"It wasn't. But no way I would let you see how broken was I. I'm lucky enough to meet you, even it's 10 years after. I won't ask for more."
"Actually, I'm the lucky one." He kissed her cheek.
There was a silence.
"She's proud of you, you know ?" He mumbled to her hair.
"You don't know that."
"I know. I'm a parent. One day, when you have our baby, you'll understand."
Kate turned her face to face his. "Really, Castle ? 'Our' ?" She teased.
"What ? I said 'your' not our. Poor the ears of yours."
Kate raised her eyebrows. "So Rick, you don't want to have babies with me ?"
Rick gasped. "No - that's not what I mean. I'd love to, but - well our kids will be all beautiful like you - but-"
Kate smirked. "-so you'd love to, huh ?"
"Kaaaaaate. Stop teasing me."
"Should I, Ricky ?"
"Kate, it's not funny at all."
She let out a laugh and touched his cheek with her hand. Her teasing face turned serious in a moment.
"Don't grow up too much, okay ?"
They had the eye-sex they hadn't had for a long time.
He sometimes feel so weak. When he looked at her eyes deeply, there's always something that made him...hypnotized. Like.. If she didn't break the eye-contact first, he would sink deeper and deeper until he's numb.
"Stop it." He whispered.
"Stop what ?"
"Looking at me like that."
"No, you're the one who looking at me like that. You have to stop."
"It's you. I can't stop, okay. It have to be you."
"Castle, quick, my eyes are getting dry. I'm dehydrated, remember ?"
"Yeah, right. I'm sorry." He looked down. Inside, he was really happy to hear her jokes again. Happy to be teased again.
She was still his Kate after all.
A/N : Yes, right, lack of idea. I know. Told you I'm no good at this. But reviews will keep my spirit, so please, leave a feedback before you leave this page. Anyway, I'm still 13. I'm not good at writing romance at all, don't ever think about me writing funny stuff xD