Chapter 7 - Lost Relative
Nearly out of breath, they let go reluctantly. They said nothing for a while, which made things awkward, and soon Byakuya said that they should go back. They did, and Ichigo kept her distance as her armor is back on the surface again.
It was difficult to stop her heart from beating so intensely, giving her less pain but more heat that made her feel like she is on fire though her body was all cold and wet from the rain.
She didn't look at the man's eyes, who looked at her while wondering what he is feeling in his heart. For the whole time after he ran away and after Isane's death, he felt no more but an empty shell, that is why he thought to himself that this was strange in the first place.
Ichigo walked ahead of him, trying to look like nothing big happened. She was glad to see that they were doing just fine, and nothing out of the ordinary happened.
"Onee-chan, what did you and Byakuya-san talk about?" questioned Yuzu. Ichigo expected this, judging from how many minutes passed for just a talk.
"About school, obviously." She sighed, and they bought it. She could never tell them the truth. Ichigo knew it was wise not to, but it would mean lying.
Her hands touched her lips when she was wiping the raindrops off her face.
That kiss gave a bigger impact. The warmth didn't fade, and it was intense that it felt like menthol to her lips. The feel of the black locks never left her hand, like they massaged her hand so gently that it felt different up to now.
How could she tell them? Keeping it from them would be like betraying her resolve; her other resolve in fact to never do anything that could hurt her family, putting aside her first resolved to not get attached.
All ignored that they were pretty wet, for they never saw it coming as it said in the weather news that it would be sunny. Rukia remembered why they were up there in the first place and immediately excused themselves.
"We'll be going to the shrine right now, so excuse us." Rukia said, walking first as Byakuya stayed standing for a little while before following his sister, his eyes meeting Ichigo's for a second, and she tried not to act weird.
Just looking at the grey eyes made her feel light in weight, so light that she might pass out.
"Maybe we should pray, for a little longer." She said in her normal tone, and they agreed without asking. This could distract her from Byakuya, even just a while.
She looked at the gravestone carved with the name 'Hichigo Kurosaki', which obviously sounds close to her name, but because of his albino appearance he is nicknamed Shiro by everyone.
He was her twin brother... her deceased twin brother.
She remembered all that happened in that year after her mother died and before her twin brother died. No one else but her closest friends knew about this, for they promised to keep it confidential.
Since their very young years, he was so close to her that he was always beside her whenever he has they had opposite personalities, they remained close like they're literally chained to each other.
There was one time when they made a promise when they were four while playing in the park. She could remembered every second of it.
Ichigo watched in amazement as Hichigo did another amazing trick with his yo-yo, and bowed after 'performing', his sister clapping with great awe. He sat beside her for a small rest, and after long enough he saw an orange balloon stuck on a tree, and he reached up to get it before running back to his sister, handing her the balloon.
"Let's make a promise, Ichigo." He said, with a big and comforting smile. "What promise?" He took hold of the string as well, his free hand making a pinky swear gesture.
"Promise me that we will never be apart, no matter what happens."
She smiled at this and took his finger, and they rested their foreheads against each other, placing the promise on the balloon as they released the string, the balloon gently floating up until it was out of sight. They looked at the sky as they held hands, lying down on the soft green grass.
"I'll never forget that promise, Ichigo." He said while holding her hand tighter. "I won't forget it either." They continued to gaze about until their parents came back, with sweets. They excitedly ran to them and ate the cotton candy and ice cream with delight.
Soon it became dangerous, especially when she started going to school and having many friends. (Back then, she was outgoing and sweet.) After their mother died, something strange happened: he became very possessive of her.
It started after he comforted her the day after the death of Masaki, and she broke down yet again after telling her family about the tragedy. She's the one that took it very bad, and she sat beside him, telling him her guilt about it all.
Her mom was the one that was always there for her, and now she's gone that she couldn't stand it.
She was closer to Masaki than Hichigo, and was always with her whenever she had time. She knew from her death, that there won't be a next time when they'd walk and smile, having a happy mother-and-daughter bonding time.
A few tears flowed out gold-black eyes as he rubbed his twin sister's back, who didn't cry but the redness of her eyes didn't disappear. She sat down and looked down on her lap, her posture slouched and her head bowed down in a pathetic manner. "It was my fault..." Hichigo wiped his tears away and went closer to her and gave her a warm embrace of comfort.
"It's not. Don't make it hard on yourself." She returned the hug by holding his arms tightly, her eyes closing. "A man, saved me from the killer." The words made him freeze for a moment but he kept on hugging her.
"What?"
"He saw me trying to wake Mom up, and helped me hide from the monster. We went far enough to stay in a hideout for a while where he couldn't find us, and he kept me safe and comfortable."
"What else did he do?" The albino asked, rubbing her head gently. She closed her eyes, slowly falling asleep again.
"I kept on crying, so he gave me a little kiss. I appreciated what he did to me... but I didn't get to ask for his name..." The words were said slower and slower as she drifted to a dreamless sleep, but he continued to rub her hair.
Hearing that a man already comforted her, consoled her in his place, he grew jealous. And hearing the word kiss, something dark in him hatched. His eyes glowered but he never stopped holding his sister, who he became more possessive of.
"I never forgot that promise Ichigo." He mumbled, brushing her soft hair with his fingers. "I'll make sure no one takes you away from me."
After her mother died, she became a little reserved but was still open and sweet. But her brother changed greatly after that, for the worse. She can remember the many times he backed off many people away, as he started gaining a different personality, a twisted one.
She recalled the first time he lost control, as she stepped into the car, and can feel the horror from his voice and the shock from the people who saw him act strange, not like himself at all.
"DON'T TOUCH HER!" He yelled or rather screeched, yanking Ichigo away from the man's hold who was just shaking her hand as introduction. Ichigo was shocked at this, because she never saw her brother snap like crazy and act so reckless in front of so many, who were staring at them.
"Shiro, you didn't have to do that, it was completely unnecessary..."
She ignored the fact that he just made a huge scene that embarrassed both of them. His eyes glared at the man, who slowly backed away and he slowly returned to his normal self, acting like nothing happened.
"What are you spacing at, Ichigo? Let's go." He took a gentle hold of her wrist and dragged her along the road, and her eyes remained shocked and she said nothing for the whole walk.
She was completely surprised, wondering what just got over her brother that she almost couldn't sleep at that night, thinking about that strange and also scary outburst. That scene cut through her like a knife and kept her quiet the whole day, saying almost no word until when necessary.
She didn't know what made him act like that when she was just having a handshake, and then after he yelled at the man he acted like his usual self, like he has no care about what he just did.
There was also that time when she encountered a kindergarten classmate. Her dad and her little sisters were not home at that time; only she and Shiro were in the house. She gave the classmate a hug of reunion but something horrifying awaited her, and it was inevitable.
She would never expect her own brother to act like that, go that far... Her sisters didn't notice the fact that she was extremely deep in thought, thinking about her past that they were too young to see for themselves.
"Hey! It's been a long time!" She ran to her old friend and hugged him tightly.
Just then Hichigo walked outside the door to dump a large garbage bag in the trash, and he saw the scene which immediately made his eyes wide with anger.
A loud thud was heard, followed by furious steps and the next sound was that of a powerful punch, and Ichigo watched with terror. Her body was frozen when her brother pushed her away from the poor boy who at the moment was being beaten up mercilessly.
Breaking our of her trance, she gave all her strength to restrain him from doing any more, as the boy was already unconscious and bleeding.
Comparing to all the violent outbursts that Hichigo showed, this was the worst yet; she thought as her brother calmed just a little but his hateful gaze at the gravely injured boy didn't vanish.
That was when she snapped at him, after almost a year of acting very strange. But she didn't know it was the start of something she'd regret. Up to know the bitter feeling stayed in her heart.
He touched his white cheek now red from the harsh skin contact, he could feel the sting. Ichigo looked at him, with sorrow and anger mixed in her eyes. "Why?" She asked, trying to not talk too loud to control her anger but she failed.
"Why did you do that?" She yelled at him for the first time, and tried not to cry. "I've had it. I can't take it anymore... you won't let me get near anyone at all, and if I do, you act all possessive of me." She ceased her tears from falling, welling up all her courage to be straight to the point with her brother.
"I hate it! I hate what you've been doing to me, what you are doing to me and to the others." Glaring into his odd eyes she said something that he never wanted to hear from her.
"I HATE YOU!"
Overcame by her anger though she really didn't mean that, the three words hit him like a bolt of lightning. Sad, heartbroken and enraged, a hand punched her on the face, and he tried to push her down but she defended herself by struggling with him.
They fought and fought, unable to stop beating the light out of each other. Both twins were already bruised and bleeding. Then he tried to strangle her while tears poured from his face, and she made raspy gasps for air, one hand pulling his hands off her neck while the other reaching for something to stop her.
It grabbed something hard, and she used it to hit him hard on the head. It wastheir family photo of all of them in the park before, and from the impact on his head he fell unconscious after his head bled.
She coughed violently, small blood leaking from her mouth as her delicate neck was nearly crushed.
From the shock and all the injuries she had, she fainted as well, the shattered glass littered around their unconscious bodies with the photo lying on the bed.
Almost an hour later, their family came back and saw the kid beaten up on the street, trying to get up but has difficulty from the bruises.
They helped him up and asked him what happened, but he refused to say anything and told them to go in their house, saying that he has a bad feeling that something not good is happening inside.
Out of worry they did, and the first thing Isshin could hear were the desperate cries of his younger daughters as they tried to wake their older siblings up, but they remained asleep, trying to recover from the injuries.
And then the next day, which was the main reason for why... she is the way she is right now. Not that it was anyone's fault. It was just the huge trauma left behind.
The twins were hospitalized, and Ichigo got more serious injuries than her brother so she was bedridden for the next few days. The kid that her brother beat up was also in the hospital, but the doctors said that he'll be fine.
When she was ready to move about, she went to the first place that she thought of: the room next door where Hichigo was in.
She saw him looking out the window with lost eyes. Her eyes saddened as she sat at the empty chair beside him, holding his hand. He didn't make a move, his eyes continuing to look at the gray sky.
She ignored the pain of her arm wrapped in a cast, as she called out to him, which made him turn his head to her but she was a little shocked, seeing the strange look on his face, full of guilt. "You can hate me now, if you want. I deserve it." He said, his voice completely deadpanned. Ichigo shook her head, holding his hand gently.
"I'm mad at what you did to my old classmate, but I could never hate you. But I want to know, why did you act like that for almost a whole year? What made you do that?"
Hichigo flinched and looked away, his lips trembling as tears fell down. "I was afraid everyday, that you'd leave me. I took the promise that we made too seriously, that when I heard that the man who saved you from the one who killed Mom kissed you..."
He wiped his tears but more replaced them. "I couldn't stand the thought that you would be separated from me. I guess I was so worried to the point that I believed everybody around us would take you away if I give them the chance to, that's why I was so possessive."
Ichigo's eyes softened at the words, from her very boyish and rough but kind brother. She moved closer and touched his cheek, for him to look at her again.
"You didn't have to. We're twins and we'll never be apart, and I never forgot that promise as well when we were young. But you didn't need or have to do all of that. I forgive you."
Hichigo made no sound as more tears made his cheeks damp as he embraced his sister who hugged him with one arm. Soon when she was gone, his eyes were now red and more lost than before. He couldn't sleep, even in the evening.
Though consoled and forgiven by Ichigo, it wasn't enough.
He knew what he just cost himself, and her. He looked around, and saw a small cabinet with something in it. He grabbed the small bottle that made a rattling sound, and hesitating for a moment, and placed it on the bed first as he took an empty piece of paper left behind with a pen and wrote a few words, his hands shaking as he started to cry silently.
Thinking about everything that happened for the year, his family, his sister, himself, he immediately swallowed almost all what was inside.
In a few minutes, he fell down, the last of his tears dripping down and the note inside the empty bottle, but there wasn't any beeping sound to alarm anybody, and only the next day they found out.
Hearing the car screech a little as it parked in the garage, she snapped out of her trance and mounted off the car, going to her room. She was rather glad that arriving home interrupted her thinking.
She might have thought too deep about her past, and if she thought any further the vision of what happened after that would make her mind pound violently.
She looked out the window, and sighed as she changed back to her plain clothes. She dyed her hair back to black the moment she went in the bathroom, knowing that even though Byakuya knows now who she is, it would be better to keep it black for a little while longer.
Her eyes looked at her black hands, unable to stop from blaming herself for letting her own personal reasons get in the way to get herself opened her drawer, and at the deepest part took out the hair pins. She still kept them, but never wore them once.
She was truly scared, but she was determined to try and get the both of them to settle things. Everything was so complex, that her mind and heart was in deep agony.
How could she get herself to have strange feelings for the same man who saved her and who danced with her? It was more than feelings of gratitude, that it was terrifying. The thought constantly repeated in her head that she wanted to expel that fear out of her.
A/N: Sorry for the long update. Got busy and an exam is coming near.