Title: What'll it Be? This story is third out of in the series Reflections and Refractions
Disclaimer: You've got to keep The Powers That Be happy: QL belongs to Donald Bellisario, NBC and MCA/ Universal
Summary: The Bartender lets Al makes a decision on a pivotal day
Warnings: This story is part of a series. For now, it's rated G.
Dedication: J.D. Rush.
"This quarter hasn't been played out yet, the ball is in your court," Big Al informed me. "There's one thing. Remember no matter what you choose, you're only one player. My question is 'What'll it be Al?'"
As he asked that question, I could feel the unnamed force gently holding me. Even though I didn't have a lot of experience with leaping, each time was different. This time it cradled me as it carried me away.
When I landed I felt soft green grass under my feet. The birds were singing their songs, full of life and hope. It was a warm day and a gentle breeze blew, the leaves on the trees softly swayed. The fresh and clean smell of laundry was wafting through the air. At my side was an oak with a yellow ribbon tied around its trunk. Ahead of me I saw clothes being gently tossled, drying on a line. Behind the drying towels I heard a woman's voice joining the birds in a chorus. The realization and the familiarity hit me, this was our house. I looked at myself. I was in my Navy uniform, a duffel bag slung over my shoulder.
I was about to get closer when I saw a tall, sun kissed, polo jock strolling up to the yard. When I realized who this nozzle was, I wanted to walk right up to him and sock him one right in the kisser. Who the hell did he think he was, making moves at another man's wife when he was off fighting a war? If I were to walk up to her now I knew that I would be welcomed back. I would take her in my arms. Our lips would come together in ecstasy.
But something stopped me in my tracks. Sam. Or at least the thought of Sam. At the cusp of this crucial moment I wondered to myself how I wanted my story to play out. Did I want to go back to Beth, her warm and sweet embrace meeting mine? You bet I did! At the same time, what would that mean for everything that happened afterwards? What would that mean for all of those lives that we changed? What would that mean for Sam? Side by side we had affected so many lives but also each other's. Would he have survived without me? Would I have survived without him? Still I wanted to run to Beth, engulf her in my arms but there was that one part of me that kept me where I was.
Beth was about to place a towel on the line, her delicate hands reaching up to squeeze the clothespin when his hand met hers. When her eyes met his I saw love eminating from Dirk's eyes and Beth returned a smile of recognition, accepting and giving, until she withdrew and put up a wall. He took her hand in his and led her inside of the house. I looked through the window, unable to turn my eyes away. In our living room, Dirk was on bended knee, producing a ring from his pocket. Beth shook her head in denial and withdrew her hand. Dirk gently held her to him and she buried her head in his chest. Leading her over to the couch, they sat down, all the while Dirk was holding Beth. A surprising calm swept over me. This older version of myself felt satisfied. This is what I needed to know that Beth would be loved and cherished. I just hoped that the young Al would forgive me. In time he'd understand.
With that comforting thought I was swept away and I found myself once again in Big Al's bar. This time I was confronted with the younger version of myself. How that could happen I didn't know. I just accepted it as part of this whole crazy bar. I apprehensively approached Bingo. How would he greet me? What would he think? How could I explain? Did he even know? My fears were allayed when he turned to me, "I understand. At least I think I understand. We have to take care of him, don't we?" Big Al proudly smiled at the scene before him. Bingo now addressed Big Al, "I'm ready for what lays ahead of me Big Al." With that a blue electric energy surrounded Bingo, sending him back.
"What happens to him, to me?" I inquired. "I could've but I didn't."
"I thought you could answer that," Big Al replied cryptic as ever. That man was really starting to get on my nerves.
I took a deep, calming breath, closed my eyes, as the first new memory formed. When I returned from 'Nam I told the hospital staff that there was no one that I would like notified. I had made a decision and I knew what the future was for Beth and me. Soon, as time passed, she would be with Dirk. After a couple of months of recuperating, I would be soon leaving the hospital and returning to active Naval life when I had a visitor. As she entered the room eminating with beauty, grace and warmth, my breath was taken away from me.
"Bingo," she said quietly, with a resigned smile. It was not the exuberant greeting that I had dreamed about all of those years away from her, when the only thing that had kept me alive was the thought of her. Why should it be? I knew that this was coming and yet I felt the pain hit me, leaving no nerve untouched. She slowly walked over to me, unsure of how to proceed. I patted the place next to me on the bed, gesturing for her to sit and put my arm around her, pulling her close to me. She rested her head on my shoulder and placed the hand that sported a bright gold wedding band, flickering in the dull hospital light, on top of my hand which rested on my knee.
Gathering her strength, she began, "Oh Bingo," she sighed, "I'm so sorry. How can I even ask you to forgive me. After all that you've been through."
I tightened my arm around her, trying to give her even more support. "You have to know that I love you, I always will. It's just that, well, I thought you were…"
At this point, I pulled her into a hug. I felt her muscles collapse, the weight of her body giving out. "Shhh," I whispered into her hair. We let the rest of the evening pass, making amends, finding acceptance and figuring out how to move on from there.
After that, so many memories flooded through, all familiar, like old friends. Not much had changed after that, apparently, except for a sense of peace that I don't remember ever feeling before. There I was, walking through the hallways of NASA. And there, up in the space capsule, circling the earth-almost as beautiful as my dear Beth. My wedding day. Sylvia? Sonia? Something with an "S". Ahhh, and Starbright. Where it all began. That late night. A broken vending machine. A frustrated kick. Not drunken this time-just pissed off. And laughter, echoing through the empty room. A hearty laugh from an amused man, with sparkling hazel eyes and a killer smile. Sam. My Sam.
I still met my Sam!
My amazement must've shown on my face because Big Al just grinned and nodded, then went back to polishing the shot glass in his hand.
"Is Sam in New Mexico? I wouldn't have been so torn with Beth marrying Dirk when Sam leaped in. Things would be, are so different," I reasoned.
"Say a package is in flight for its destination. Just because the sender and the recipient may have met each other on land doesn't change the fact that the package is still in flight does it?" Big Al offered.
"I'm getting fed up with all of these riddles. Just say what you are trying to say," I spew.
A robust laugh was his response. I'm glad one of us thought that this was so amusing.
"I told you what you wanted to know now it's up to the players," he related to me.
I felt the wind knocked from under me. When I opened my eyes I was back in my condo. I wasn't sure if this had all been a dream. When I opened my eyes, I realized that I was in my living room sitting in a plush and comfortable chair.