Ok, so its been quite awhile since I updated. I wasn't happy with what I had before and started to rewrite and wasn't happy about that and then after the New Year decided to start trying again. But it was a message from Ealasaid Una that gave me the kick in the butt. I updated basically every chapter because of spelling and have changed a few things. So go back and reread. I hope you enjoy it and I do plan on finishing the story. I already the have the outline written out.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the newsies but everything else that is not from the movies.

Chapter 8: What ifs

"You need to stop taking the mending home with you." Mrs. Williams said to Lynn as she watched the young girl pack up a few things.

"I don't mind."

"I know you don't mind but I pay you for what you do here not there. You work yourself too hard." Lynn stopped what she was going and looked at her employer unsure what to do now.

"Well can't you pay me to that as well. You pay Sarah to do so." Lynn said as she gestured towards the other girl.

"No." Ms. Williams said letting out an exaggerated breath. "If you must bring something home bring home the scraps and practice your embroidering." Mrs. Williams said grabbing some scraps of fabric and embroidery thread in the corner of the room and brought it back to Lynn. "Show me what you are able to do in two weeks." With that Mrs. Williams walked out of the backroom. Lynn started unpacking the mending and replaced it with her new task's material.

"Lynn look on the bright side." Sarah said sitting near her friend. "If Mrs. Williams likes your embroidery work then she might have you start doing more of the custom orders rather than the mending. You'll get paid more and half one more day off."

"Ya, I guess." She responded. Normally anyone would be glad at a chance of advancement in their job but no even a slight smile showed on her lips.

"Lynn is everything ok?" Sarah asked moving to stand in front of Lynn.

"Yes. I've just been thinking lately about everything with Joshua, my mother and maybe finding Eric." Lynn said as she gathered up her things to go home.

"Well do you want to talk about it?" Sarah asked copying Lynn and grabbing her things.

"No." They both walked out the door and continued their way to Tibby's silent. A light dust of snow started to fall as they got their destination. Sarah immediately headed for Jack who was sitting with Davey and Les and Lynn to Baby and Angel, another girl newsie she met shortly after arriving at the lodging house.

"Hey Sarah." Jack said as she kissed him on the cheek as she sat down.

"Jack I need you to do something." Sarah said and continued before he could say a word. "Lynn has been a little withdrawn the past couple of days. Can you or Race try to see if something's up?"

"We noticed it too but you know her as well as we do. She's not going to say something unless she really wants to."

"I know but can't you at least try. Maybe just talking to her about something unrelated or something might make her open up."

"I'll have Race try." Jack said.

"Thanks Jack." Sarah said. The table sat in an uncomfortable silence for a minute before someone finally spoke.

"It looks like it's getting really dark out now. Come on Les, Sarah, we should get home before dinner." David said as he stood up to leave. Grabbing Les by the arm he quickly said his byes while Sarah slowly stood.

"Good night Jack. Will I see you tomorrow?" Sarah asked.

"I don't know. I'll have to see how business is." Jack said taking a sip of his water.

"Alright. Well goodnight Jack." She said as she left. This is how their relationship was and it seemed to her that with every passing day he was becoming more and more distant from her.

Lynn sat alone in the girl's bunkroom while the other lounged in the boy's room. The snow was still falling and looked as if there was no sign of it stopping soon. She started working on her embroidery task that Mrs. Williams gave her that day. She knew that if she was good enough that she could start doing the custom orders for the shop. Inside she was thrilled but outside she just couldn't show it. There was something more plaguing her mind and she couldn't shake it away.

Joshua had been sweet when they first met. He was the doting boyfriend any girl would love to have but when he started to change she couldn't help but ask if it was because of his new friends or just deep down inside that who he really was. Then there was her mom. How did her mom find out about her break up with Joshua? Did he tell her? She only told Sarah, and Jack and Race were the only two to see what happened. He had to. But she thought if he would really stoop that low to make her life even more miserable than what it was. But the only way to know if it was true was if she talked to him.

"Ya like that's going to happen." She said to herself with a sarcastic chuckle.

"What's so funny?" Lynn heard and when she looked up she saw Race.

"Ah, nothing, just thinking to myself." She put her embroidery down as he sat next to her on her bed. They sat there as they could hear the laughter coming from down the hall. "I was just thinking about Joshua. About how it is I ended up here in my life." She looked at her hands while she rubbed the palm with her other hand and Race just sat there and watched her. He knew not to interrupt her thoughts when she said them out loud.

"I was thinking about how if I did something different, like be more demanding about not having sex, would the same things have happened. Like, would he really have had listen to me or would he still not have cared and take what he wanted. But then there's a question about his friends. I feel like his friends would influence his too much and that it could have been their opinions that really affected our relationship. I see the way they treated women. They don't care one bit about them. They use them and would send them off on their way. Johnny was the worst of them all. Nearly every night I had to spend with them he found a new girl. Some were innocent like me and others belonged in a brothel. So it kind of makes me wonder did Johnny really have that much of an influence on him? I mean, Joshua said something to me one night when I was trying to convince him to bring me home." She stopped talking. Lynn looked out the window across the room for a moment before she continued.

"We were in an alley and all I wanted to do was go home because, well, he was trying to have sex with me. I was fighting with him a little more than usual and he was getting frustrated so he just 'Its your duty as a women and as my girlfriend to have sex with me' and I…I." Race could hear the sobs slowly form in her throat.

"Lynn, sshhh, its ok." Race said as he wrapped his arm around her and brought her close to him. "Shhh."

"And all I did was give up." She said slowly trying to form her words with the lack of air she was getting. "All I did was give up. That's when I realized he had changed and there was no going back."

They sat there as she quietly let the tears slid down her cheeks. Jack and Race knew something was bothering her earlier, even Mush and Blink had commented on her solemn mood at Tibby's. But her saying the name Johnny hit a cord with him. The way she described him, Race couldn't help but think if this was the Harlem leader she was talking about.

"I'm sorry." She said as she pushed herself away from him. "I just seem to all of sudden have so many questions and as what if's in my head that I can't think straight right now. I mean, what if I never dated Joshua or if he turned out to be this way how would our life be right now. What if he never met those idiot friends or if I never found that ounce of courage that night I broke it off. What if my brother never ran off or if he took me with him. How different would my life be if all these what if's happened." Race barely let her finished her thought when he placed his knuckle under chin and lifted her face towards his.

"But if all these what if's happened you wouldn't be here with us now. You wouldn't be rid of a guy who could have turned out to be a better person or maybe just the same jerk he was. You wouldn't have made friends with the newsies and wouldn't be as happy as you deserve to be." Race said softly to her. They both realized how close together they were. She could feel his soft breath run against her cheek. The both felt an unexplainable pull bringing them closer together. His lips just hovered a moment over hers asking permission to finish the distance. She didn't give him a reason not to.

"Lynn! I was wondering…" Angel banged the door open and the two pulled apart trying to appear as if nothing happened. But unfortunately for them Angel had seen and so had Baby and Heav who were trailing right behind her in the room. "What are you two up to?"

"Nothing." Race said standing up, trying to create more distance between him and Lynn. "See you later." He walked out the door without so much as a look back to his friend.

"Is everything ok?" Baby asked talking Race's seat next to her. "You look like you've been crying."

"Ya I'm fine." She said wiping whatever tears remained on face.

"Are you sure?" Angel asked. Wanting to ask what was happening with Race but held her tongue.

"Yes." Lynn refused to look at any of them directly in the eye. "You said you wondering about something." Angel hesitated for a moment but thought now wasn't the time.

"Ya. Baby and I wanted to see if you wanted to go on a girl's night with us. We can also bring Sarah along if her parents allow it but we thought it would a great night away from the boys."

"You mean Baby away from Dutchy for the night?" Lynn said sarcastically about her friend with a laugh. It seemed the couple was always attached to the hip. Wherever one was, you could find the other.

"O ha ha, laugh all you. But you can't blame me. I gotta look out for my property." Baby said with a smile. Angel rolled her eyes and looked back at Lynn.

"Well?" Heav asked.

"Sure. It might be just what the doctor ordered." Lynn said feeling like a ton of bricks lifted off her shoulders as her earlier thoughts left her.

"Good, tomorrow then. Since you won't have to work the next day." Baby said getting up and the newsies moved to their things to get ready for bed.