Sorry for the huge delay guys! Also, in case anyone is wondering, this story takes place before Roy is revealed to be a clone.

"Who is this?" a gruff voice spoke.

"Who's this?" Roy said into the phone, although he knew exactly who he was speaking to.

"Batman."

"Just the man I was hoping to get. Only your detective skills could solve this."

"Roy, this better not be you."

Both Wally and Dick looked at Roy wide eyed. Two seconds into the prank and Batman had already guessed it was Roy? There was no way they would pull this off. Roy, however, was prepared. "Who the hell is Roy! This is Farraday."

"Well, Faraday, I find your story to be farfetched."

"Farfetched? Farfetched! You think this is a joke Batman? Is this any more farfetched than giant plants springing forth from the earth and destroying property and killing people? Is this anymore farfetched than fighting a criminal made entirely out of mud? Does that even make sense? A person made out of mud! You couldn't make that up!"

Robin stifled a giggle. The existence of Clayface was sort of hard to believe.

"Batman, do you want to wake up with your penis missing?"

There was a long pause on the other end of the phone.

Wally smiled broadly as he pictured Batman, high above in the watchtower, looking at his junk and wondering what would it be like to wake up without a penis.

"What exactly are we dealing with?"

Roy sighed heavily. "Waller. As of now it is just a threat. I am the only one I know that has contracted it."

"Amanda Waller?"

"She made a virus. She called it her-" Roy's eyes caught sight of Wally who was nodding encouragingly and mouthing absens mentula. Roy rolled his eyes. "- absens mentula. She noted that most of the villains and superheroes were males. She figured, if she could not find a way to control or stop those she deemed to be vigilantes and if she could not get the legal jurisdiction to fight meta humans, she would find another way. We thought she was joking. Once I found out about her illegal labs, I managed to steal a specimen and files. I think someone infected me with it. I woke up this morning and . . . well," said Roy his words drifting off ominously. "My penis was missing."

"Send me the files." Batman said. He then proceed to explain how to do so which was a good indication to the three boys that their prank was on track. The Watchtower had a secure way to send files and access to do so changed every day.

Roy gave a thumbs up sign to Dick and Dick sent the files.

There was a long pause wherein the boys assumed Batman was looking over the files. After awhile, they heard a female voice in the background that they recognized to be Wonder Woman. Roy had not realized the call was on speaker phone.

Batman came back on the phone. "So, it falls off?"

"No . . . it is just missing."

In the background, the faint laughter of Wonder Woman could be heard.

"It shrivels up until the point that it appears to be missing?" asked Batman. It was clear to Roy that the hero was trying to wrap his brilliant mind around the concept.

"No, it's just missing."

There was more faint laughter from Wonder Woman in the background.

"Hold on," said Batman.

The boys exchanged glances.

"What do you think is going on up there?" asked Wally.

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Batman placed the call on hold and leaned back in his chair to glare at Wonder Woman. "Diana, you are being unprofessional."

Wonder Woman, who was leaning on the railing of the steps leading to the zeta tube, stopped mid laugh and wiped away a tear. "How would you react if you just got back from mitigating some serious peace talks between two war-torn countries and then the first thing you hear when you get out of the zeta tube is: my penis is missing?" She rolled her shoulders, relieving the left over tension brought on by the talks. "I really needed that laugh."

Batman looked back up at the holograph screen that had the schematics of the virus. "It does not appear to be a joke."

"Just because it is not a joke does not mean it is not funny." Wonder woman walked towards Batman and sat down in a nearby chair. "You just don't see the humor in it because you are a man."

"I don't see the humor in it because it could be a serious threat."

Wonder woman laughed and waved a hand in a mocking version "Oh no," said Diana her voice low and masculine, "all our penises are missing!" The Amazon shook her head with a smirk. "Aliens invading is a serious threat; having a group of supervillans running amok is a serious threat; this . . . this is just an inconvenience."

"An inconvenience?"

"Waller intends the virus for criminals, vigilantes, and metahuman's. This is a non lethal virus. Even if the virus is exposed to the general public . . . worst case scenario is that women will have to get impregnated via artificial insemination. There is enough sperm in clinics to handle that for a long time. "

Batman's eyes narrowed. "I am begining to wonder if the virus did not originate from Paradise Island."

Wonder Woman laughed again. "Oh we did try something similar hundreds of years ago."

Batman looked at Wonder Woman in alarm.

"It did not work out," she said with a smirk. "Just for argument's sake, would you give up heroing if your penis went missing?"

Batman blinked. "Well . . . it would be—"

"Inconvenient?"

"No. I do not think you understand the meaning of that word." Batman said and frowned. "Obviously there would be . . . huge medical concerns." Batman cleared his throat. "For example, the low testosterone levels would obviously affect my muscle mass. It would cause a decrease in bone density, which could lead to osteoporosis making it harder to recover from fights."

Wonder Woman rolled her eyes. "If you could solve all crime at the expense of your penis, would you let this—"she pointed to the screen—"happen?"

Batman was saved from answering when a robotic voice interrupted: 'Recognized. Green Arrow, 08.'

Wonder Woman spun her chair to look at Green Arrow. "If you could solve all crime at the expense of your penis, would you be willing to sacrifice it?"

Green Arrows rose high. "Is that some weird Amazonian come-on?"

Batman explained the situation as Green Arrow walked over to the row of holograph screens. "There's a part of me that thinks this is Roy pulling some sort of prank. He, Wally, and Robin are at his apartment."

"Really Batman?" said Green Arrow his voice tinged with irritation at the accusation of his ex-ward and ex-partner. "Roy's a good kid. Why do you have to give him such a hard time?"

"Do you seriously want me to answer that?" Batman deadpanned.

"Oh and Robin's so perfect?"

The two men glared at each other and Diana stepped in-between them. "All right mother hens, stop clucking about your chicks." She looked at Batman. "I also do not believe Roy would pull a prank like this." She looked at the screen. "This is too detailed."

Batman went to put the phone off hold, but Wonder Woman stopped him with her hand. "Wait." She looked at the two men. "Honestly, tell me what exactly do you find wrong with this scenerio: Waller is planning on attacking the criminal and hero communities or that there is a chance that you may wake up with your penis missing? Which one is more important?"

"It does not matter the method, trying to do harm to another being is morally wrong," said Batman solemnly.

Green Arrow nodded vigorously.

Wonder Woman's eyes narrowed. "You two are sooo full of it. Why can't you just admit that the thought of you waking up with your penis missing makes you uncomfortable?"

Batman's eyes narrowed. "Because that is not the issue here."

"Oh really?" Wonder Woman scoffed.

"I find that comment to be reverse sexism Diana," said Green Arrow.

"Recognized, Superman 01."

"Recognized, Green Lanterns 05 and 14."

Superman waved at his fellow heroes a boyish grin on his face."You all will be glad to know we prevented war in—"

"That's nice," interrupted Wonder Woman, who was now determined as ever to get her male peers to admit their willingness to compromise their own codes if it mean saving their genitalia. After all, men would be men. "Listen. If you could solve all crime at the expense of your penis . . . would you be willing to give it up?"

Both Green Lanterns looked at her confused while Superman's smile flattered. "What?" they asked in unison.

"There's a non lethal virus that could possible threaten the genitalia of all males on this planet," said Diana.

Both Lantern's eyes widened and then:

"Recognized, Green Lanterns 05 and 14."

Well," said Wonder Woman looking at the empty spot the Green Lanterns were a moment ago. "I think that is a clear response on the Lantern Corps stance on the whole issue."

Superman was still confused. He glanced at the holograph screens and tried to make sense of it. Batman and Green Arrow simply exchanged glances.

Wonder Woman grabbed the phone and released the hold button.

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Roy heard a click and then:

"Hello, this is Wonder Woman."

"Wonder Woman?" said Roy surprised. "Where is Batman?"

"He was needed elsewhere. Listen, are you in pain?"

"No."

"Are you still able to urinate?"

Roy blinked. For some reason they had not even considered they would be asked that question. He looked at Wally. After all, the speedster was the resident scientist.

Wally thought quickly. Roy-Agent Faraday- had already indicated earlier that he was fine. However, not being able to urinate would be an immediate danger to one's body so Wonder Woman would wonder why Agent Faraday had not called the hospital immediately to help himself. And how exactly could one urinate without genitalia? Wally didn't know what to say. Wally shrugged and then shook his head.

Roy had no idea what the hell Wally's gesture was supposed to mean. "Um . . . yes?"

"So you are not in pain, not in any immediate danger, and you are able to urinate?"

"Umm . . . yes."

"I'm going to transfer you to the director of the CDC. You can give him the information you gave us."

"What? Wait!" yelled Roy before Wonder Woman could transfer the call. "The whole reason why I called was to give you guys a head up."

"We appreciate the warning, but the League has other concerns to worry about," said Wonder Woman and before Roy could respond he heard the call being transferred.

Roy hung up the phone.

The boys sat in silence for several minutes.

"So let me get this straight," said Dick slowly. "The Leagues official stance to penises missing is: we have other concerns to worry about?"

"That's unsettling," said Wally glancing at his lap and now worried exactly what would happened if this situation ever did happen.

"I feel like maybe Wonder Woman hijacked the phone," said Roy in disbelief. "I do not think that answer is representative of the whole League."

Wally frowned thinking for a moment and then his eyes lit up. "Or maybe the League is really just that hardcore. That maybe they think Waller has a point and are willing to sacrifice their goods for peace. It's been suggested that lower testosterone levels could reduce crime."

"I thought that was just for pedophiles," said Roy.

"I don't know guys," said Dick shaking his head. "I know everyone thinks Batman's, well, the goddamn Batman, but I sort of feel like Bruce would miss his . . . you know."

"Ditto for Uncle Barry. I am surprised that I don't have a little cousin yet."

"I don't even want to think about Ollie's sex life," said Roy with a shudder. "Soooo, does that mean we successfully pranked Batman?"

"I guess," said Dick. "It doesn't feel as good as I thought it would be."

"That's because we just found out the League does not care about the well being of our manhood," said Roy.

Awkward silence filled the air once more, until Dick said: "Do you guys want to play a video game?"

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Three hours later the team had been called in for a new mission. They were suited up listening to Batman explain the schematics of the mission. It had something to do with some weapon smuggling activity that might be connected to Lex Luthor, but Wally was not listening.

How could the hero just stand there and act like he had not heard about a threat to his junk only a few short hours ago? It was driving Wally insane! And why would he not mention it to the team? Wally knew it was not a real virus, but what if it had been? The league really was not going to inform them of the threat? It made Wally wonder if there was anything else Batman might be keeping from the team.

"You will break off into teams of three," Said Batman. "Aqualad, Arte-"

"What's the deal!" yelled Wally, bouncing on his heels. Everyone's head turned to the speedster. Wally looked at Batman wide eyed. "How can you not care if your penis is missing?"

The team's heads, save for Robin, snapped to Batman in various displays of shock.

"Your penis is missing!" Artemis blurted out.

Thanks for reading! I enjoyed writing this and I hoped you all enjoyed reading it.