Author's Note: Hey everyone! Sorry for the incredibly long delay in updating this story, but real life has been amazingly hectic since my last update. I've lost my job, had to move back home to my parents' house, had to deal with Christmas…it's been never-ending! But, I'm back, I've dealt with all the craziness, and I've got another chapter for you!
A/N 2: I'm not going to admit to knowing how teenage boys talk about girls, especially in England, so if anyone has any problems with that section, let me know and I'll change it…oh, and I'm calling out for a Brit-picker to let me know if I've made any glaring errors in customs or speech for England.
Chapter Five: Family Pressure
William Pevensie looked up as his two oldest children re-entered the hospital ward together. They strode down the ward side-by-side and as he watched, the nurses and doctors that they passed seemed to instinctively give way for the two teens. It was a very unusual sight, and caused a small frown to cross William's face. There was something about the way they were carrying themselves…their posture was almost perfect and they matched strides easily, despite the fact that Peter was taller than his sister by several inches.
But more than their posture and matching strides, it was the expressions on their faces that caused the frown on their father's face. Susan had a soft, polite smile on her face, although her dark eyes were full of worry and given the way that she kept looking at Peter, it didn't take much for William to connect the dots and realize that it was Peter she was worried about.
Peter on the other hand had an expression that was oddly neutral and impassive, and something about it sent a chill down William's spine. It made him look older and more mature than his sixteen years. In the time that he had been at war, something had changed for his son, and he wanted to know what it was.
"Peter? Are you all right? Did I say something to upset you?" William asked as his children came up next to the bed.
Peter blinked and the slightly impassive look on his face faded into something that looked a little bit more natural. "No. I apologize for leaving so abruptly, Father. It was nothing that you said."
William glanced at his wife and she took the hint, gently ushering the three younger children out of the ward with a promise that they would come back tomorrow to see him. All three children quickly hugged their father again, be careful of his injuries, and sent an unreadable glance at Peter, before following their mother out of the ward.
Once he and Peter were alone, save for the doctors and nurses and the rest of the patients, none of whom were in earshot at the moment, William cleared his throat. "Peter, son, you mother told me how you stepped up to help with your brother and sisters while I was gone. She said that you were the man of the house now. I just want you to know that I am very proud of you."
Peter didn't respond for a moment, but then a small, pleased smile crept over his face. "Thank you, Father."
"I know it's been difficult, having to take on so many responsibilities while you're so young. I'll be home soon though, and it may be difficult for you to just drop all the burdens that you've been carrying for your mother. Is that what the problem is?"
Peter seemed confused for a moment. "Problem, sir? No, there's no problem. I didn't mind."
William licked his lips for a moment, before pressing on. "Are you sure, Peter? Your mother wrote me and told me about the difficulties that you were having with Edmund before you went to that country estate, but then she said that you two were acting like best friends when you came home a few weeks ago. I don't know what changed, but if there's anything that you need to tell me, I'm here now."
For a moment, Peter was tempted to tell his father everything. The caring compassion and love on William's face was weakening his resolve. But his father wouldn't understand. He wouldn't believe that Peter was telling the truth. But it was so tempting to just admit everything. Peter had been responsible for his siblings for what seemed like a lifetime and he wanted nothing more than to pass over all that responsibility to his father again.
At the same time, however, he knew that after all the things that they had experienced; he'd never be able to give up being responsible for Edmund, Susan, and Lucy. Narnia had changed all of them and had cemented their relationship in a way that they had never anticipated. They could no longer go back to being the same children that their father remembered.
"I appreciate your interest, Father, but I have no regrets in taking care of Susan, Edmund, and Lucy," Peter finally replied after these thoughts raced through his mind. "The time in the country simply gave Ed and I a chance to mend things and restore our relationship, and we're both happy about that." He gave a stiff little nod of his head and turned sharply on his heel as he moved back down the ward to join the rest of the family.
William watched him go, more certain than ever that something was wrong with his eldest son, as Peter had neglected to hug him or bid farewell to him, something that his very affectionate son had never before forgotten to do. Whatever was troubling his son, William vowed that he was going to find out what it was and help him through it. That was the duty of a father after all.
Peter quietly closed his bedroom door behind himself after they returned from the hospital, shutting out the happy sounds of his family laughing and talking together in the kitchen.
He had been spending a lot of time alone since returning from Narnia. His siblings had been infinitely patient with him, and he appreciated their compassion and understanding of what he had been going through, despite their worry, but he knew that his mother didn't understand, and she was starting to worry about him as well. Now, the incident with his father…Peter felt like banging his head into a wall. He had completely botched that visit, and now his father was on the alert. And William Pevensie could be like a dog with a bone when he was worried about his children.
Unfortunately, since he couldn't confess to them why he had been so melancholy, there wasn't anything he could do to remedy their worry. He had been trying so hard to work his way past what had happened and what he had lost, but he found himself being constantly assaulted with memories of Kris and Narnia, and at times it felt like he was drowning and was just praying someone would realize it, grab him, and pull him to safety.
Peter sighed and walked over to the window to gaze down at the flower bed and the brilliant violets that were still in full bloom. Seeing the bright colors, so reminiscent of Kris' eyes hurt, but it was something comforting at the same time, something he could physically hold onto when the memories were strongest.
He leaned against the windowsill and closed his eyes as he buried his face in his hands. "Aslan, why did you have to allow us to leave? If we were supposed to leave, couldn't you have just told us so that Kris could have come with us?"
"I don't know if you would really have wanted that, Peter," a voice said dryly from behind him.
Peter straightened up so abruptly he thought for a second that he had pulled a muscle as he whirled around to face the intruder.
Edmund was leaning against the doorframe, casually, but his dark eyes were full of worry. Peter had been so preoccupied by his thoughts that he hadn't even heard his brother come in. They had all gotten in the habit of having free reign of each others' rooms in Narnia, and that habit had carried back into England with them. At any other time, Peter wouldn't have cared, but his nerves were wound so tightly from the incident that afternoon that he didn't want any company at the moment.
"Edmund, can't you respect the fact that I want to be alone?" Peter snapped at his brother, giving him a glare that would have caused a minotaur in full charge to back down.
Edmund didn't even flinch, used to his brother's displays of temper by now. He continued to lean against the doorframe. "You spend too much time alone these days Peter," was all he responded. "As for your question to Aslan, I don't think you'd really have wanted Kris to come back with us."
Peter's eyes narrowed. Edmund was treading on dangerous ground now. "And what is that supposed to mean? Is there a reason why I wouldn't want to have my," he lowered his voice to a whisper, just in case anyone else was coming down the hallway, "my wife with me?"
Edmund shrugged. "Well, it would be interesting watching you trying to get a job so you could support your family when you're only sixteen and away at school for half the year. Oh, and of course there's the fact that you have to be eighteen to be legally married, otherwise you'd need Mum and Dad to give written permission…oh, and Kris' parents would also have to give written permission, which since they're in another world, would be very interesting to arrange. And of course, it would be hilarious to watch you explain to Mum and Dad how we got sent into the country for four months and then you come back with a girlfriend who is pregnant." The younger boy raised an eyebrow at that. "But, of course, by all means, keep wishing that Kris could be here with you."
"Sarcasm doesn't become you, Ed," Peter replied tiredly, turning his back to his brother and his attention back to the view outside his window. "I know there would be problems that we'd have to work out, and we might not be able to be considered legally married until we both turned eighteen, but at least we'd be together." He bowed his head and clutched the windowsill. "At least I'd be able to be there for my wife and child," he whispered.
Edmund took a step into the room and closed the door quietly behind himself. "Peter, you're also making a big assumption…that Kris would revert back to being sixteen right along with you. She was born in Narnia…or, well, Archenland. We went back to being our current ages because that's how old we were when we stepped into Narnia. It'd be kind of hard to explain to our parents how we went away for four months and returned home fifteen years older than when we left. Kris though…she would probably still be in her thirties when she stepped through the wardrobe."
Peter's grip on the windowsill tightened until his knuckles turned white, knowing that Edmund was right, but not wanting to admit it. "It's not fair, Ed. Everything was going right for a change. Kris and I were finally going to get to start the family that we wanted. We've already been through so much…how much more do we have to sacrifice?"
Edmund came to stand next to his brother. "I know, Peter. I know it's not fair, and I understand. But dwelling on it constantly isn't going to help you. It's just going to drive you mad. You need to let it go and just accept it. We'll get back to Narnia, and you'll get back to Kris. It can't be an accident that we were sent back when we were. I can't believe that Aslan would do that to us."
Peter was quiet for several moments. "I know, Ed. And I want to believe it too, but…" he shook his head. "Every time I close my eyes I see Kris, and I remember all the things that we shared. Today, at the hospital when I left? As Susan and I were heading back to rejoin all of you, a husband brought his pregnant wife in, and all I could think of was the night when Kris and I lost our first child."
Edmund grimaced, remembering that night all too well. The tragedy had devastated his brother and sister-in-law, and it had taken them a long time to get over it, although they'd taken care to put on brave faces when they were in public. It hadn't been easy on them, with people constantly offering their sympathies over their loss. But they'd had each other, and together, with a little help from Susan, Lucy, and Edmund, they'd gotten past it.
Before Edmund could say anything in response, Peter continued. "Ed, I didn't just love Kris. She was like the other half of me. Now, being back here, in England…I feel like I'm missing part of my soul or something." He looked at Edmund, who had a look of uncertainty on his face. "Oh, forget it, Ed. It's too hard to explain, and I don't expect you to understand, since you hadn't met the lady of your dreams."
Edmund sighed. "You're right Peter. I don't really understand how deeply attached you were to Kris. But I do know how much I love you and how much it's hurting me to see you this depressed. Susan and Lucy feel the same way. We want to help you, but we don't know how, and it's driving us crazy watching you suffer needlessly because you won't let us help you. Plus, you've got Mum and Dad worried about you too."
Peter sighed. "Do you think I want to have everyone worried about me, Ed? I'm used to being the one who worries about you and Su and Lu. This isn't exactly something I asked for, but I don't know how you can help me anymore than you do. I'm trying to get through this one day at a time, but…"
"But you miss her and you just want to be with her, and we're a poor substitute," Edmund finished.
"NO! No, Ed, that's not it at all!" Peter exclaimed. "I love you, and I love the girls. You are not a substitute for anyone! Yes, I want to be with Kris, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be with you, Susan, and Lucy."
"That's not the impression that you've been giving lately, Pete," Edmund pointed out. "You've been retreating to be alone a lot lately, and we haven't wanted to intrude because we understand that you're grieving for what you've lost. But, Pete…" he reached out and laid a hand on his brother's shoulder, "You haven't exactly made us feel like you want us around, either. We understand and we haven't taken offence, but when we go back to school, your friends won't understand and they might. You're going to have to come to terms with this, or you're going to end up pushing everyone away from you, and then you'll really be alone."
The younger boy turned and headed for the door. "Mum's baking biscuits if you decide that you want to join us." He paused just before he exited. "Pete…think about what I said, but also know…you're our brother, and our King. We'll always love you, and we'll always be there for you, if you let us." With that parting remark, the younger King left his brother standing next to the window, the half-forgotten violet still held in his hand, his thoughts whirling with everything he had said…and everything that he hadn't said, but had implied.
He had a lot to think about.
________________________________________________________________________
London Underground…Strand Station… two weeks later…
"You will remember to write, won't you?" Helen Pevensie asked as she embraced each of her children in turn at the entrance to the Underground.
"Of course, Mum," Edmund replied, returning his mother's hug. His words were echoed by each of his siblings as they bid their mother farewell for the school term. It wouldn't be all that long, only a few months before they'd be back for the winter holiday.
A clock struck the time and Helen looked up in surprise. "Oh, dear! You'd better go! The train will be leaving soon!"
Amid a chorus of farewells, the four siblings picked up their belongings and hurried to the stairs that led down to the platforms. Peter paused at the ticket stand and quickly purchased the tickets to their different schools. He and Ed were going to one school, and Susan and Lucy were departing for another. It would be the first time that they had been separated in a very long time, although to some people it wouldn't seem that long. But then again, those same people hadn't lived in Narnia for fifteen years, only to return to England in the same moment that they had left it.
Susan caught sight of a newsstand. "I'll be back in a few minutes, Peter. I want to go take a look at the papers." When he nodded and handed her the ticket in case she didn't make it back before the train got to the station, she took Lucy's hand and led her over towards the newsstand.
Edmund spotted some of his friends and went to say hello to them, leaving Peter to find a bench to sit on and wait for his siblings to return. The train was scheduled to arrive in about fifteen minutes, so he knew they wouldn't be too long, since this was the last time they would be together for months.
"Hey, Pete!" a familiar voice called out.
Peter turned his head to see one of his friends and age-mates, a young man named Alan coming towards him, suitcase and messenger bag in hand.
"Hey, Alan! It's good to see you!" Peter returned, honestly pleased to see his friend.
"Where'd you end up going during the evac?" Alan asked as he came up and leaned against the wall next to the bench where Peter was sitting. "I got sent to Devon to stay with my aunt and uncle." He shook his head. "It was so boring! There was no one my age in the area around their farm, and my uncle had me up before dawn every morning to help him with the chores. I was so glad to come home!"
Peter sent him a sympathetic glance. "At least you got to go to family. My sibs and I were sent out into the country to stay with a complete stranger."
Alan grimaced. "Man, I'm sorry to hear that, Pete."
Peter shrugged. "It wasn't that bad. The man was a retired Professor, and he was pretty nice, if a little distant. After the first couple of days though, he warmed up to us, and his estate was large enough that there was plenty to do."
"Well, you survived at least," Alan replied. "Now we just have to survive school again," he added with a look of distaste.
Peter nodded and they fell into a lively discussion about who their teachers were likely to be this year and what classes they would have to take. They were just debating what the Latin class would be like (all the guys in the year above them said that it was a horrible class, but they said that about every class, so Peter and Alan weren't inclined to take them seriously) when a group of boys from a different school came down the steps onto the platform.
Peter turned to watch the three boys out of the corner of his eye. Something about them was putting him on alert. It was the instincts that he had developed as a King and a warrior, and he relied on them to tell him where danger would come from. At the moment, they didn't seem to be bullying anyone, but he was not about to drop his guard. All three boys appeared to be his age or older, but they all matched him in stature and build.
As the three boys wandered down the platform, they made a point of talking to the young ladies that were waiting for the train as well, although most of the girls were intelligent enough to ignore the boys and walk away. Peter watched with growing unease as the boys grew more and more irritable as each successive girl turned away from them.
They paused a short distance from the bench where Peter and Alan were waiting for the train. Peter didn't recognize the crest on their uniforms, and he couldn't recall ever seeing the boys before. Maybe they were new to the school that they were attending. It didn't really matter, Peter supposed, but if there was an incident, he wanted to know what school the boys attended so he could act as a witness if necessary.
As Peter was thinking these things, the boys began to look at the girls and make lewd comments about them.
"Check out the legs on that vixen," the ringleader of the boys said, gesturing to a girl wearing the same uniform that Susan and Lucy wore. "Too bad her skirt's not a bit shorter, eh?"
The other two boys nodded in agreement and the comments were bandied around about other girls waiting for the train, usually within earshot of the girls in question as they attempted to make the girls blush or turn their attention towards them. They moved down the platform to the bench where Peter and Alan were sitting, and the ringleader looked down at them. "You little prats need to get out of our seat."
Alan, who wasn't particularly inclined to argue when it was three against two, moved to stand up, and would have if Peter's hand hadn't rested on his arm, stilling his movements as he looked up at the ringleader. "I believe we were here first. Go find somewhere else to sit, preferably far away from me." His tone was level and even as he drew on his King Peter manners, showing his authority in his eyes and in his tone of voice, letting the boys know that he wasn't going to back down.
The ringleader's eyes narrowed at Peter. "Who do you think you are?"
Peter raised his chin and stared directly into the older boy's eyes. "I know exactly who I am, and I'm proud of it. The real question is, do you know who you are? Because I highly doubt it."
The boy flushed red and clenched a fist, as if he was about to slam it into Peter's face. Alan's gaze was darting back and forth between Peter and the other boy, following the verbal tennis match.
Before the bully could reply to Peter, one of the other two boys elbowed the leader and gestured off to their right. "Hey, Art, take a look at that one! She's one prime fox!"
The ringleader followed his friend's gesture and whistled appreciatively as he caught sight of the girl in question. "Hey, you're right Nigel. She is fine. I wouldn't mind seeing more of her, that's for sure."
Peter followed their gazes, and it only took him a moment to realize that they were looking at Susan, who was on her way back over from the newsstand, although she had paused a good distance down the platform to talk to one of her friends and ignoring a boy with thick horn-rimmed glasses who appeared to be following her. Lucy was still at her side, looking around for her own friends. He rose to his feet, gaining the bully's attention. "That's my sister you're talking about. I would appreciate it if you kept your unwanted commentary to yourselves."
"Your sister, eh?" Art asked, a speculative tone in his voice. "I wonder if she's really as cold as she seems. Maybe she needs a real man to liven up her life. Think she'd be willing?" He grinned suggestively. "I'd be happy to warm her bed and pay her a nice bit of coin, though she'd probably want to do it for free after meeting me."
The mere thought of his elegant, royal sister catering to this lout in any way was ludicrous to Peter and he almost laughed it off, but when the other boy suggested paying Susan for bed favors, he saw red.
The bully never knew what hit him, but a moment later he was on the ground, with Peter on top of him, fist swinging towards his face. Left in shocked surprise for a moment, it didn't take him long before he was swinging back at Peter.
The other students on the platform began to cluster around them, calling out encouragement as the fight continued and Art's friends jumped in to help. Peter, with all the years of fighting that he had under his belt, was managing to hold his own despite the fact that it was three against one, when he felt someone seize his arms from behind and drag him to his feet.
Twisting his head around, he saw Edmund standing behind him, holding him back as he faced down the three bullies. The younger boy's face was calm as he regarded the three other students and his brother. "That's enough!" he called, his voice full of the regal bearing of King Edmund the Just, his tone slicing through the shouts from the other students as he attempted to resolve the situation as the experienced negotiator he was.
Peter tugged away from Edmund and started trying to straighten his uniform as Edmund attempted to resolve the situation using only his words and his calm, even voice.
Art, after shrugging off his own friends who were gathered behind him after helping him to his own feet, turned a fierce gaze on Peter. "Doesn't really matter that the chit is your sister. She still needs a real man, and it's too bad that you'll never be enough of one to get a vixen of your own. Or if you do, it's because you'll have to buy one just to get her to look at you. Maybe you should practice with your sister. I'm sure she'd be glad to help."
Peter's attention snapped back to the bully at his slur. It wasn't the slur to himself that he particularly cared about, but the slur to Susan (and indirectly, to Kris) about them being "kept women" made his blood boil, and he could see Edmund was just as upset. In point of fact, Edmund didn't even bother to hold Peter back as the older boy leapt at Art again, fist swinging, and in fact jumped in right beside him, laying a firm right cross against the jaw of one of Art's friends when he tried to intercept Peter.
At that point, it degenerated into a brawl and fists and feet started flying as the two Kings defended their sister's honor.
Peter looked up at one point to see Susan and Lucy frowning down at them most fiercely before he was forced to turn his attention back to his opponent. A short few seconds later, whistles and adult yells broke up the fight as two soldiers and a bobby waded in among the students.
"'ere now! You're too old t'be brawlin' like that! Break it up!" the bobby yelled, scattering the children and pulling Art off of Peter before pulling Peter to his feet.
As everyone scattered, Susan and Lucy came up to Peter and Edmund and pulled them away and back over to where Peter had left his things. Peter took their bags from them and set them on the ground next to his before flopping down to sit on the bench next to Edmund, who glowered at him. "You're welcome."
"I had it sorted," Peter snapped.
"What happened, Peter?" Susan demanded, all of her bearing reflecting that of a highly annoyed Queen Susan, although at the moment there was no evidence of her Gentle side.
"They insulted me, and then they insulted you, Susan," Peter grumbled.
Susan looked exasperated. "So what? It's not the first time I've been insulted or ridiculed, Peter. I didn't even hear the comment, and I don't recall asking you to defend me from some stupid kid and his insults."
"It wasn't just the slurs to you and Peter, Susan," Edmund stated, wiping a bit of blood from his cut lip. "They also made a slur, unknowingly, against Kris."
Susan bit her lower lip, but looked even more exasperated. "Peter, you've got to stop this! It's getting ridiculous! I know you miss her, I know you want to be with her, but moping around, taking offense at every little thing isn't helping! You're not even pleasant to be around, and you need to get over it and get on with your life! It's been four and a half months, and I'm getting tired of it!"
Peter glowered at his sister. "It's not like I can just set aside nine years of my life, Susan!" he hissed, careful not to raise his voice above a whisper, so as not to reveal his secret to the world at large.
"That is nothing more than an excuse, Peter Pevensie, and it is getting old!" Susan snapped back. "It's about time you started acting like the adult you claim to be, because I am getting sick and tired of babying you all the time. I've tried to be patient, but you're not even attempting to move on, and until you do, I don't want to hear any more about it!"
Edmund and Lucy were staring at the two eldest siblings in shock, mouths hanging open, but before they could say anything in response, the train pulled into the station and they had to scramble to gather their belongings and get on the train. Susan helped Lucy board the train, but then left the three of them standing together to go and talk to her friends.
Peter was fuming, but one look at Edmund and Lucy told him that in this instance, they were going to side with Susan. Before they could say anything he quickly kissed Lucy's forehead, and then turned and stormed down the car, looking for a compartment where he could sit and think.
Edmund and Lucy looked after their departing brother before Lucy turned to Edmund, a look of despair on her face. "What are we going to do, Ed?"
Edmund shook his head. "There's nothing we can do, Lucy. Peter just needs time and space." He sighed. "Come on, we'll go and find a seat and let the two of them sulk for a while." He held out his free hand and she took it, although she looked back in the direction her oldest brother had gone, wishing she could help him, but not knowing how.
Don't forget to read and review!!!!!