Chapter 5
"EEK!"
Gir shot up into a sitting position and looked down. Apparently Zim had rolled off of the couch in his sleep and was now wide awake. His head hit the ground and his back was positioned on the front of the couch. His legs stuck up in the air. Gir went into a fit of laughter. The smeet slid to the side so his feet dropped to the floor. Then he stood up and looked at Gir, who continued to giggle.
"What's so funny?" He asked.
"You…" Gir snickered. "You're so silly Little Master!"
"I already told you a shmillion times to not call me Little Master! Just because I'm a smeet doesn't mean you need to remind me!"
"You're so cute!"
"Don't call me cute either!"
Gir continued to smile at Zim, who turned around and sighed.
"Well, it's early in the morning. Computer, what's the status on the supplies for the cure?" Zim said.
"Supplies have been ordered and paid for but haven't been received yet. Estimated time until arrival: about one week."
Zim growled.
"One week! I'm tired of being stuck like this. My mission! The tallest will be worried! But I can't contact them! I can't let them see me like this!"
He paced back and forth.
"There has to be SOMETHING we can do!"
"I wanna go to the store!" Gir said.
"We can't research at the library! All the FILTHY PIG BEATS will try to touch me and grab me again!"
"I wanna buy something at the store!"
"Besides, I hate that disguise…WAIT! OF COURSE! MINI MOOSE!"
"Nya!"
"You were able to do some research at the library, right?"
"Nya!"
"What did you learn?"
"Nya! Nya!"
"EXCELLENT! But that doesn't give us much to work with…hmm…"
"Can we go to the store?"
"Oh, this is terrible! My mission! AUGH!"
"MASTER!"
"WHAT?"
Zim turned around and stared at Gir, who stepped back and whimpered a bit. The Irken felt a little bad to snap like that but he was frustrated.
"Wha…what is it Gir?"
Suddenly the robot smiled.
"I wanna go to the store!"
"The…the store?" Zim stood puzzled.
"YES!"
"Why?"
"The store has useful things! Maybe we can find something there!"
The alien just thought to himself for a moment.
"Well…"
"Please?"
"Alright. We can go to the store." Zim said. "It's better than just staying at the base doing nothing…"
"YAY!"
"But I can't wear that baby disguise. It's HORRIBLE! And for some reason it attracted those stinking humans!"
"You can wear mine! It'll cover up your cute little face." Gir handed Zim his doggy disguise. Zim glared at Gir, not liking the two words he used to describe the young smeet. Then he looked at the disguise. Suddenly his antennae stuck up in the air and he gagged.
"Gir it smells HORRIBLE! What do you do when I'm not around?" He coughed and choked, trying not to throw up. The outfit smelled like vomit and fish and…he didn't even know what else it smelled like. He threw it to the ground and wheezed.
"Computer! Soap and hand sanitizer now!" Zim shrieked. From the ceiling dropped a bar of soap and a bottle of hand sanitizer. He scrubbed his hands with a combination of both. "AH!" He pulled a piece of bacon out of the bar of soap and looked at Gir, who just waved. Then he emptied the hand sanitizer bottle, half of it getting on his hands and the other half on the floor.
"Can we go to the store now?"
"NO! Not when your disguise smells like THAT! It's filthy! You have to clean it first! You're so disgusting, Gir!"
Gir opened up the top of his head and put his disguise in. Then he grabbed the rest of the bacon soap and popped that into his head too. Then he went in the kitchen, added some water, and closed his head up. The SIR unit came back into the living room and started rolling around on the floor.
"Whee~" He said.
"Gir, what are you doing?" Zim exclaimed.
"Check this out!" Gir did a hand stand and balanced himself on the top of his head. He spun around and stopped. Then he went over to the sink, emptied out the soapy water and rinsed off the disguise.
"It's clean!" He showed it to Zim.
"But it's also wet." The alien replied.
"Oh…" Gir took the disguise and shook it up and down, trying to get it dry. Zim shielded himself from the spray, hissing as some of the water hit his skin, burning a bit.
"Ta da!" Gir exclaimed.
Zim grabbed the disguise and smelled it. Now it smelled a lot better…and a little bit like bacon…but whatever. It was better than before.
"Alright." The smeet said and put the disguise on. He pulled the hood over his head. The disguise was a bit big on him because the sleeves sagged a bit. And the hood was drooping, making it hard for Zim to see, so he had to pull it up now and then.
"So, how do I look?"
"You look so cu…"
"And don't you DARE say cute!"
"…you look great!"
"Alright. But if I wear this, then what'll you wear?"
"I still got this one!" Gir said. He pulled out a disguise shaped like a human boy and put it on. Zim remembered when Gir wore that while they sold those Poop candy bars and kidnapped that Santa guy. It still smelled like puke, peppermint, and sawdust. He took a few steps back and sighed. Mini Moose came over in his own disguise, shaped like an airplane.
"Alright. Let's go to the store to get supplies."
"HOORAY!" Gir said. He attached a leash to the collar on the dog disguise, which Zim wasn't happy about, and then they went outside. After a five minute walk to Sooper Mart they grabbed a shopping cart and went inside. Zim never went to the store before, so he stayed close to Gir to avoid getting lost.
"Hey Gir!" A young man at the cash register said. "How have you been?"
"Hi!" Gir waved in his human disguise.
"Wait, if you're Gir, then who's the dog?"
"He's my master! Master, this is Simon! He's my bestest friend at the store!"
"Oh, so you're Zim?"
"Yes…" Zim chuckled nervously. Then he turned to Gir. "GIR! Why does this human know you? Does he know about our mission? Do we need to wipe his brain and replace it with a tennis ball like last time?"
"No silly!" The SIR smiled. "He's just my friend!"
"Gir's one of our best customers." The man replied. "He comes so often, sometimes I let him have an extra discount or give him something for free. Don't tell my boss though."
"Oh…" The smeet mumbled.
"Let's go!" Gir grabbed Zim's hand and they went down one of the aisles. Then they began gathering supplies, and by supplies they mean snacks.
"What are we doing down this aisle?" Zim examined the shelves. They had candy bars and boxes of treats on them. Gir pulled a bag of gummy bears off of one of the shelves, showed it to his master, and gave Zim a death glare nobody would think the robot was capable of; even making his eyes glow red. The smeet whimpered and stepped back.
"Nya!" Mini Moose said and put a bag of cheese puffs into the cart.
"There has to be something useful around here." Zim said.
"WEENIES!"
"Gir, what are you talking about?" The smeet said, but he saw the SIR unit run off in the direction of a large sign that said 'Hot Dogs'.
"Gir wait! Come back!" The smeet cried out, but the robot had sped off.
"Not again…Well, whatever! We're just about done here anyway. Alright Mini Moose. We'll go meet Gir by the exit."
"Nya!"
Zim looked for the door, but the shelves were so high up he couldn't see anything. It didn't help that Gir's disguise was too big on him and obscured his vision. He headed to the end of the aisle and looked back and forth, but he still couldn't see the door. There were a bunch of baskets and things on display, blocking the view of the tiny invader.
"Hmm...Mini Moose! Float up high and find the exit!"
"Nya!" The little moose hovered in the air and looked around. Then he came back down and gave another squeak.
"Oh great! The humans have us trapped! This was their scheme all along! Thanks to Gir they KNEW I was coming and now they've raised their walls into an impossible maze! We have to get out of here!" The smeet said. He went over to one of the shelves and began climbing up, hoping to get a good view from the top. Just as he got up to the highest level, he heard a noise.
"Hey! Get down from there!" A young girl, who wasn't very attractive by the buck teeth and acne problem and frizzy green hair, came in wearing an apron and pulled the little Irken off the shelf. "See that sign?" She pointed. "It says 'For items on the top shelf, ask for employee assistance!' And what's a dog doing here in the Sooper Market anyway?"
"I need nothing from the top shelf!" Zim growled. "I'm trying to find the exit to your pitiful death trap of overpriced junk meats!"
"The exit is over by the registers at the front of the store. Duh!" The girl groaned and walked away.
"That stupid filthy beast. She was no help at all!" Zim yelled. "And I can hardly see a thing through this stupid hood!" He lifted up the hood for a moment and rubbed his pink eyes.
"What did you just call me?" The lady turned around. But her sneer became a smile in an instant when she saw the face behind the dog disguise's mask. "Oh, you are simply adorable!"
"Huh? AH! Oh no!" Zim said. He pulled the hood back on and held it down, but the girl came over and picked him up and pulled the hood back.
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to be so rude before, cutie pie. Here, the exit's this way. Can I get you anything else?"
"Let me go! Put me down this instant! I am ZIM!" The smeet squirmed. The girl put him down.
"Are you sure? You don't want any candy or something?" She pulled the bag of cheese puffs out of the cart. "I can give you this for free, if you want."
"Eh?" Zim tilted his head to the side.
"Aw, what is that?" Another girl with her blonde hair in pigtails came over. "He's so precious!"
"I don't know, but isn't he cute?" The ugly teenager handed the cheddar snacks to the smeet and crouched down. Zim stepped back. The humans were beginning to surround him again, but they weren't hostile this time.
"Um…can you also…get me…a bag of marshmallows?" The smeet asked. The blonde girl ran off for a few seconds and came back with a bag of marshmallows. "And, carry me to the register?" The two girls gently picked him up and started heading toward the cashier station. "WAIT! I also need my moose!" The ugly girl let the blonde hold Zim on her own and went to carry Mini Moose.
"Hmm…the humans seem to be hypnotized by my so called 'cuteness'…" The smeet mumbled.
"Simon, look at this!" The green haired teen said to the boy at the front.
"Aw! He's so CUTE!" Simon answered.
"Anything else we can do for you, cutie?" The blonde asked.
"Yes…" Zim answered. "Yes, there is…" An evil grin spread across his face. "We need to gather more humans…"
"Yes sir!" The two girls said in unison.
"You!" The smeet pointed at Simon. "Go find Gir and have him catch up to us! I have an AMAZING plan!"
"Alright, you adorable thing, you!" The boy exclaimed and ran off to find Gir.
"Yes, yes, this is perfect! MWAHAHAHA!" The Irken cackled. And the two girls carried him and Mini Moose out of the store to carry on with his evil scheme.
Uh oh! It looks like Zim plans on taking over the world with ADORABLENESS! I meant to put up a new chapter sooner but due to a tiny case of writer's block and getting busy, I couldn't put it up before. :( But the newest chapter's here now!
REVIEW PLEASE! I don't have writer's block anymore! So the more reviews I get, the sooner I'll be able to update! :D