A/N: Sorry it has taken me so long with Chapter Two! This Chapter is dedicated to FadedRadiance on Twitter since she wanted it so badly. :P Here you go.

Chapter Two

"Determined"

I'm so shocked by this that I stumble backwards, my eyes shut tight. I can see him now. Tall, bronze hair, golden skin, shining eyes, just like the ones I had been staring into just moments ago. Of course! I should have been expecting this. I knew that Annie was pregnant. She had called a couple of weeks ago, to let us know that she was due anytime. She would be bringing the baby by sometime soon after. Yet, when I saw Annie, when I saw the bundle of baby blankets in her arms, I couldn't make the connection. It was obviously something I had tried to make myself forget. I had done a good job apparently.

Peeta somehow made it over just in time to catch me before I fell backwards off of the porch. I don't shove him away after he steadies us. I wrap my arms tightly around his waist, burying my face into his chest. Flashes of the Rebellion run through my brain. Instead of the inside of my eyelids, Finnick's death plays out before me like a movie, like a recap of a particularly gruesome Games. I see Finnick trying as hard as he can to fight that horrible creation of the Capitol off of him, but it is to no avail. I open my eyes just as the mutt is about to slice his head off, but it still flashes before me. His head is removed from his body, and just like that, the life leaves his eyes, and he's gone.

I feel wetness on my cheeks. I bring my hearing into focus. I can hear my own sobs echoing around the Victor's Village. I sound like one of Haymitch's geese, loud annoying, crazy. Peeta's arms are around me almost instantly. I hear him say something to Annie and I hear her reply but what words that are exchanged between the both of them, I have no idea. I feel just like I had in the woods only a little bit ago, like my body is canceling out the world.

I hear the faint clicking of footsteps, the front door creaks open then slams shut. Annie has gone into the house, leaving Peeta and I standing alone, embracing each other on the porch. Peeta's hand is rubbing up and down my back; he's holding me against him. He's trying as hard as he can to calm me down, but it doesn't seem to be working. I don't think he, Annie, or even I, realized what seeing the baby would do to me; especially since it had Finnick's eyes.

I don't notice that Peeta has moved us away from the edge of the porch where the steps are until I feel myself sit and the slight swaying of the porch swing. I instantly curl my feet under me and myself against Peeta's frame like a small child that's afraid of the dark. Any resolve I had made earlier about not breaking down was gone now. Tears are still streaming down my face. If someone were to see me they would think that they were shameless, but they aren't. I hate myself for this. I'm supposed to be strong, not a sniveling mess of emotions in Peeta's arms. What has the Rebellion done to me?

"It's okay, Katniss," Peeta whispers. He has leaned over just enough so that he can whisper in my ear. He is speaking so softly, only for me to hear, gently reassuring. It means a lot that he's trying, but he doesn't know that it will be okay. He doesn't know how often that I am actually like this, and that with every tear, with every bad thought, I hate myself a little more.

I let out a sigh in reply. Peeta has slid his fingers under my chin by now. He slowly tilts my head so that I am looking at him. His blue eyes lock with mine and I feel my heart skip a beat. Peeta's hands gently cup my cheeks, and his large, warm thumbs push the tears away from my face. My heart is beating a million miles a minute. I feel as if it has forced its way into my throat. Peeta's touch hardly ever makes me feel this way. No words are exchanged between us. We simply look at each other for a long while before I notice Peeta slowly leaning in. Before I have time to actually make the connection between his movements and his intentions, his lips are on mine.

It's not until out lips touch for the first time in days, when I'm such an emotional wreck, that I realize how much I like this, need this. My arms find their way around Peeta's neck and I allow myself to return his kiss. I can tell that he is a little taken aback at first. I'm not surprised. It's a rarity that I let myself give into his affections. When Peeta gets over the initial shock, he pulls me closer to his body, his lips soft against my own. Peeta's lips feel like an escape. Everything around me disappears. The only thing I can focus on is Peeta and our connected lips. Nothing else matters in this moment.

Peeta is the first to break the kiss. I know why. He knows how I am with affection. He probably assumes that I don't want to keep kissing him, but I do. I'm not sure how to bring this up to him though, so it goes unsaid.

He gently gets up from the swing, slipping his strong arms under me and he cradles me against his chest. I wrap my arms around his neck for extra support. I know that he won't drop me. He's carried me up to my room many times without any issues, but I need to feel his closeness. I need the affection tonight. How do I ask him to stay?

"Come on, Katniss. Let's get you upstairs. I'll run you a bath."

I simply nod. A bath actually sounds nice. I know the only reason that he's suggesting it is so that while I'm cleaning up he can make me something to eat. Even when my appetite is low, on a night like tonight, I always make sure to eat in front of Peeta, just so he won't worry.

We walk into the house, the door slamming shut behind us. Annie is standing in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room. Peeta tells her that he will be down in a minute before ascending the stairs and making the short walk to my room. He effortlessly opens the door, despite me still being cradled in his arms. He carries me across the threshold, into my bedroom and lays me down gently on the bed. I instantly curl into myself, wrapping my arms around my legs. I'm now a ball laying on the right side of my bed. Peeta has retreated to my dresser. When my gaze travels over to where he is standing. I see that he has already picked out some night clothes for me. I watch as he heads to the bathroom and disappears from my sight. I hear the creak of the faucet as he starts to fill the tub with water. The flow of the water is like a constant stream. I catch the faint scent of something flowery. It might be lavender. I guess that Peeta must have added bubbles.

Moments later, Peeta reappears in the doorway, walks over to the bed and sits down beside of me. With some coaxing on his part, and my own, he gets me to sit up and he starts to unbraid my hair. Once he gets it out, he begins to run his fingers through my hair, getting out any tangles that may linger. I close my eyes, enjoying the feeling. His hands suddenly stop stroking my hair as he gets up. He presses a soft kiss to my cheek before he walks back to the bathroom and the flow of water suddenly stops. Peeta comes back in quickly.

"All right," he says. "You're all set. I've got your towel and your night clothes laid out. Enjoy your bath. I'll make you dinner and then we can talk, okay?"

I nod slightly at this. I feel like I could cry again, but this time it's because of Peeta. What did I do to deserve him? I've done nothing but hurt him for at least three years and he's still here; still loving me, taking care of me, protecting me. I don't deserve it. I still continue to treat him badly. It's only on night like these that I allow him to be affectionate, that I to let my feelings fully show. I'm a selfish coward and he's still here.

"Thank you, Peeta," I manage to say in a strained whisper. "For everything."

I lean forward, hesitantly pressing a kiss to his lips. When I pull away a few seconds later, I see that he nothing short of surprised. I get up from the bed as quickly as I can, hurrying to the bathroom and slamming the door behind me. As I strip down to climb into the bathtub, what happened in the bedroom replay over and over again in my mind. I never been that forward with my affections for Peeta before. I never initiate it. Is this progress? Or just my emotions running high?

I stick my foot into the water, testing it. As always, Peeta has somehow managed to make it the perfect temperature. I slide my way into the tub, letting out a sigh of relief. It feels so good, that I let myself forget all of the worries that I'm having. I just close my eyes and try to relax.

I don't realize that I have dozed off until there is a loud knocking on the door, pulling me from my slumber. I must have been really relaxed to get any sleep without nightmares. The knocking sounds almost frantic. I know instantly that I must have been out for a little while. I can hear Peeta's voice.

"Katniss! Are you okay?" Peeta calls from my bedroom. "You've been in there for awhile."

"Yes!" I call back. I quickly dunk my head into the now chilled water. I resurface, scrubbing some of the soap into my hair in a quick attempt to clean it.

"Are you sure?" he asks. I can hear the worry in his voice. He is concerned. He shouldn't be. I was actually relaxing for the first time in a long time.

"I'm positive, Peeta. Give me a few minutes. I'll be right out."

I turn the tap back on and run the fresh water through my soap hair. Once I finish that. I cut the water, pull the plug and let the water train from the tub. I get out, quickly dry off and change into my night clothes before walking into the bedroom, pulling a brush through my hair.

Peeta is sitting on my bed waiting for me. The look on his face quickly changes from concern to one with a light smile. I return it. I notice that my dinner is sitting on the night stand. The smell quickly reaches my noses and seems to instantly travel to my stomach. A loud, almost powerful growl escapes from the depths of my stomach. This is the first time all evening that I have noticed how hungry that I am.

Peeta lets out a low chuckle as he hears the noise from my belly. "Here, give me the brush. I'll braid your hair and you can eat."

I raise my eyebrow tentatively, walking over to him and placing my brush into Peeta's outstretched hand. I'm not buying this comment for a minute. I will probably have to pull my hair out of knots.

"You know how to braid?"

I see a blush for on his cheeks; his blue eyes fill with embarrassment. He had asked someone to teach him. This doesn't surprise me. It is something that Peeta would do.

"Yes," he finally replies, patting the spot in front of him, indicating for me to sit there. I grab my plate from the nightstand before doing that. "When you sprained your ankle before the Quell, and you slept a lot, your mom taught me. She said that it would come in handy one day. I guess that she was right."

I pick up a roll from my plate, tearing it into two halves before bringing one half to my lips and biting into it. It's still warm. It's fluffy and buttery. I'm pulled away from enjoying my delicious bread when I hear Peeta's statement. I am shocked to say the least.

"She did? I wonder why she thought that." I muse. It's mostly to myself, but loud enough for Peeta to hear. I hope that he an offer some sort of answer.

Peeta finishes brushing out my wet hair, ridding it of any tangles and knots. He begins to separate it into sections before he starts to tie my dark, thick hair into a braid. He lets out a laugh as well.

"Simple," he says. "She told me that you wouldn't be able to hide your feelings for me forever."

I'm in shock. My mother knew before I did? I guess that I shouldn't be so surprised. If anyone knew anything about love, it was my mother.

"She said that?" I ask, almost in a whisper.

"Yeah," Peeta replies. "Everyone knew before you did, Katniss. Even me."

I don't respond to this. I simply tear into the other half of my roll. What could I say anyway? It was true. I know that.

"But that doesn't matter now," he says as he continues to gently braid my hair. "You know now."

I want to turn my head around, to see his face, to examine his facial expression, but he's not finished with my hair yet. So, I'm stuck looking forward, wondering if he actually means that.

"But I kept you waiting for so long," I say quietly. As always, when I think about how long I kept my feelings for Peeta inside, I am consumed by an overwhelming feeling of guilt. I know that I shouldn't feel this way, but after everything that I put him through, it's impossible not to.

"Katniss," he says, pulling my braid into place, tying it back, and slipping his arms around my waist, pulling me against his muscular chest. I lean on him, my need for his closeness hasn't subsided any since my bath. His chin comes down and rests on my shoulder.

"Feeling better?" he asks, whispering softly in my ear. Whatever he had been about to say before he pulled me close is forgotten now, disappearing into the air. That's okay. He was probably just going to tell me to stop feeling guilt. Some of this is an all too familiar routine by now.

I nod, my eyes closing. I feel so relaxed. It's almost as if my mood from earlier is gone completely. I want to forget about it. But I know that it won't go ignored by Peeta.

"Good," he whispers again. His grip tightens. I know why. He is savoring the time that I'm letting him be affectionate. He knows that it doesn't happen very often. I can't blame him. "Want to talk about it?"

"No," I say almost instantly. I don't want to discuss it. It will only bring my mood back. I'll talk to Annie when I wake up, apologize for the way that I acted, but I don't want to do that now. I don't want to talk to Peeta about it either. I know what talking about it now will do to me, and right now, everything feels perfect. I don't want this rare peace to be replaced by a big mess of emotions.

I hear Peeta heave a heavy sigh. He obviously wants me to discuss it. I hope that he doesn't push it.

"Katniss, you need to talk about these things. You're never going to move forward if-"

"Please not tonight," I interrupt. "I'm in such a good mood. Please don't ruin it."

Peeta nods slowly. I can tell instantly that he isn't happy about this. But, he also knows me well enough to know that nothing changes my mind. Not even him.

"Okay, Katniss. Whatever makes you happy," he whispers. His soft lips graze my cheek for a moment and the oddest combination of warmth, and the sensation of goose bumps appearing on my skin washes over me. Such a simple thing, like his lips against my skin, can make me feel so much. That terrifies me.

"You make me happy," I say before I really realize what is slipping out of my mouth. When I realize what I have said, I keep my eyes shut tight. I have no idea what emotion I am conveying or what sort of reaction that my words have evoked from Peeta.

"Do I?" his voice is so soft, so distant, that I have to strain to hear it. Disbelief.

"Yes," I reply. I shift in his grip, opening my eyes and tilting my head so that I can look at him.

I don't say things like what I just said often. I have yet to even actually say "I love you" to him. But there are some days that I'm not afraid of his love, of caring for someone, and them caring for me. This is one of those days. But I have never said something this pivotal, this out there, something that could be considered groundbreaking in our relationship. At least for me. I almost regret saying it until I see nothing but pure happiness reflected in his vivid blue eyes. I can feel my heart swell.

"You love me Katniss, real or not real?" he asks, his voice still soft, almost as if he's afraid that this is a dream and he might wake himself up if he speaks any louder.

"Real," I whisper in reply, and before I can stop myself, my lips are on his.

This kiss is shorter than the first one. I pull away first. It's not really by choice. I start to yawn and I pull away just as it escapes my lips. Peeta laughs at this.

"I guess I should go and let you get some sleep," Peeta says. He starts to remove his arms from around me and get up from the bed.

"No," I say, putting my hands on his arms to keep them around my waist. "Don't leave. Stay with me."

Even though it's not a question, more of a demand, he smiles at this. He presses a soft kiss to my cheek and whispers, "Always."

He cradles me in his arms once more, using one his hands to grab my empty plate when he stands up. He sits the plate on the dresser and walks back to my bed. He pulls the covers back before sitting down, laying the both of us down.

I curl against his frame, needing to be as close as I can. I can't not being close to him, not tonight anyway. As he pulls the covers up around us, his lips graze my forehead. My heart flutters as my eyes shut. The last thing I hear before I drift off to sleep is Peeta's whisper of, "Good night, Katniss."

The sun pooling on the bed through my window, shining directly on my face is what finally awakens me this morning. I expect to still be in Peeta's arms, but I'm nit. I sit up, frowning when I see that he is not in the bed. But that's when I see his not on the night stand. He's gone into the bakery for the day. He'll be back before dinner.

I sigh, laying back on the bed. Despite the fact that Peeta isn't beside of me this morning, I haven't felt this well rested in a long time. I didn't have any nightmares. Peeta always has been able to keep them away. I need to ask him to stay over more often. I get up from the bed, make it up, tuck Peeta's note into my pocket, slip on a jacket and head downstairs to make breakfast.

When I reach the bottom step, I hear the sizzle of bacon; the smell makes my stomach growl. Annie must be cooking. I cautiously round the corner, knowing that the baby will be in the kitchen with Annie. I'm more prepared this time, though.

"Good morning, Annie," I say as I step into the kitchen. I can see that baby sitting in his high chair out of the corner of my eye, but I don't look at him directly.

"Morning, Katniss," Annie says, offering me a smile. "Peeta said that you usually wake up around this time. I thought that I'd cook you breakfast."

I smile at this. Still the same, sweet Annie that I remember. But some of the softness in her eyes is gone, replaced by a hardness that only someone overcoming a hard adversity at a quick pace can have. I wonder briefly how she has coped with losing Finnick, but I don't ask. I know almost instantly that it is because of the baby. It's the biggest part of Finnick that she has left.

"Thank you, Annie," I say quietly. There is a loud coo from the creature in the high chair that was now behind me. I'm afraid to even look at it. I'm afraid I'll have another break down when Peeta's not here. That can't happen. "Look, about last night…"

"Don't worry about it, Katniss," Annie says. "Peeta explained everything, and I can understand why that set you off. You and Finnick…were like family. Brother and sister almost."

I nod my head solemnly. Annie is right. Finnick had been the older brother that I never had, and one of my best friends. It hurts to think about him. It hurts even more to talk about him because it's in the past tense. It really reminds me that he's not here anymore. But, my mind seems to have held onto something else that Annie said.

"What do you mean Peeta explained everything?"

What was there to explain? Peeta wasn't aware of anything, save for the occasional times I've broken down in front of him. This hasn't been often. So, what could he possibly have inferred from that?

"That you're still not recovering from the Rebellion. He says that you're not dealing with it the way that you should be," Annie says. Her gaze locks with mine for a moment before I look down at my hands.

Damn Peeta. He's a better detective than I would have bargained for.

"He doesn't even know the half of it," I say.

There's a click as Annie cuts the stove off, a soft clink as she sits the pan down on the counter, and the light patter of bare feet against the tile as she rounds the counter to sit on the bench beside of me.

"Katniss, I know how you are with your emotions, but believe me, asking for help isn't a sign of weakness. In fact, it's one of the strongest things that you can do."

I let out a dark chuckle. "That's just it, Annie. I'm not strong anymore."

And that was the truth. I may have started out my journey as a strong, independent girl, but not all I am is fragile, broken mess of the person that I used to be, and I don't have the courage to put myself back together. Forget Girl on Fire, my radiance has faded, my fire has been extinguished. Now, I'm nothing but a pile of slow, burning embers.

"That's not true, Katniss," Annie whispers. "And even if it is, it's okay to be weak sometimes. Not everyone can be strong all of the time."

I allow my gaze to dart up to meet Annie's momentarily. If anyone in this world would know how to deal with emotional trauma, it would be Annie, but like a coward, I just shook my head.

"I'm fine, Annie," I mutter. "Really. It's not that bad."

I know that as soon as I say it that she won't buy it. Peeta, Haymitch, people that I barely know, have all told me what a horrible liar that I am. It must be something about the way I express my feelings, my body language because Annie has been buying my lies on the phone for months. I love Annie, I do, but she's not like Peeta, who does whatever he can to make me happy at the moment. Annie has been in a similar situation, she isn't going to let this go so easily.

Annie flashes a small smile at me. "I knew that you had been lying to me on the phone, but I wasn't going to lecture you from Districts away."

"Lecture me? You're my friend, not my mother."

"Do you think that your mother is going to step in and help you, Katniss? Even if she wanted to, she doesn't have the means to do so. She faced the same thing that I did and look how she handled that."

"She's didn't handle it," I say.

That's when it hits me. Do I really want to end up like my mother? Dead to the world because I couldn't deal with my emotional trauma? Unable to fully love the ones that I care about because I've built up a wall to keep people out? Of course I don't. But right now. I'm not myself. I'm not Katniss Everdeen. I am someone else entirely.

When I don't respond, Annie gently pats my back. "Sometimes it takes awhile for people to come around. I won't give up until you do, you know."

I smile. Annie is one of the most determine people that I have ever met. I know this is not a false statement. I can count on Annie and the little creature that she and Finnick created together to be around for a long time. Maybe that won't be such a bad thing.

"I know, Annie. I'm glad that you're here," I say, and I am.

She gets up from the bench and rounds the counter once again. She grabs a plate she has sitting nearby and I watch as she loads it up with eggs, bacon and toast. She pours me a glass of milk and passes it over to me.

"Since you're not ready to deal with your feelings yet, do you mind if I flip on the TV to watch Panem Today? I missed Panem Tonight, and I always like to see what kind of crazy stuff Ceaser and his crew dig up."

I can't hold back at laugh at this. It kind of catches me off-guard that Annie, of all people, would be one to watch Panem Today and Tonight. Peeta and I always watch when we can because we seem to be one of their favorite subjects, even when there is nothing to report, or nothing to talk about. They seem to be fond of Johann as of late. She's not too happy about that. It's all about who they can capture at the right moment, who they can dig up dirt on. And the public is severely interested in anyone involved in the Rebellion. We're Panem's biggest celebrities.

"Of course, Annie." I slide the remote sitting next to me on the counter her way and she catches it with her hands almost effortlessly.

She picks it up, flips on the TV, and we are just in time for the show. The weirdest remix of the nation's anthem plays in the background as we hear a voice over while a montage of past episodes plays out before us. Oh, the Capitol is really playing up this new form of reality TV.

When Ceaser first appears it's a bunch of simple hello's from him and his crew, but it doesn't take them long to get started. The begin talking about one of Panem's hottest couples.

"Oh, no!" I exclaim. "Have they been following Peeta and I again?"

But when they show the picture of the couple, it's not of me and Peeta, it's of Haymitch and Effie, locked at the lips.