You sighed eternally, plastering the most convincing smile of relief on your face and for the first time since your arrival at Hollywood Arts you believe in your acting skills. You count on them to push all thoughts and emotions aside to be happy for your pals. But you're shocked that you're this good at it as neither of them noticed your hesitance. Rather you're that good, or they're oblivious to you now. You consider the latter while she's curled under his arm by your locker.
"I really want to thank you Vega. You've been a good friend to me even when I didn't deserve that." Jade says honestly sincere. She didn't stutter over the word 'friend', she didn't say it into her cup of coffee. She said it as if the two of you were finally friends. As if all these years of a love/hate friendship, a rivalry of a sort has come to an end. The very thing you've tried so hard these past months to preserve actually hurts you in the end. How badly you wished she would've dumped that coffee on you again. So you wouldn't feel bad for what didn't happen between you and her now boyfriend. So you wouldn't feel bad about what you wanted to have happened that night so many months ago. As if on cue, you're finally aware of his presence; his arm still around her securely, protectively, and lovingly. He smiles at you one of his sincere smiles.
"Yeah, you're really a good friend Tori." he compliments you and playfully punch your shoulder with his free arm. Once again despite all odds you don't break your façade. Instead you smile back and rock on your heels as if modest about the compliment.
"Yeah, I know." you say jokingly but you know you meant it. He didn't need to rub it in. You were the friend; nothing more.
It wasn't a hard fate to deal with; after all it was partially your fault. Why do you have to be such a goody two shoes? Why couldn't you let yourself be selfish for once?
You stop that thought abruptly and shake your head at the ground, blessing the fact the day was coming to an end. The last class you'll have to suffer through before you can go home and clear these thoughts of madness from your mind. You were actually looking forward to science. Though you could do without Cat's peppiness.
Finally the day is over and you skip going to your locker. You just want to go home and indulge into that pint of chocolate mint-chip pint of ice-cream and the aspirin you're in a desperate need of from Cat's blabbering. You would've preferred her talking on and on about her brother, but take a wild guess what her choice of topic was? You've guessed it; Bade. Cat decided to name them that since all famous couples have that cute pairing name. The ride home wasn't as irritating as normal once you've toned Trina and her screeching out. You move too quickly out the door through the home, barely waving your mom off when you run up the stairs to your room. You fall asleep just as soon as you hit your bed, but much too soon you're awaken by a knock from your door. You want to ignore it, but think against that because there's no way you're going back to bed. You sigh and answer the door and there stands an angry Trina. "You're friend is here to see you." she says angrily. You perk up then. You wonder who could it be and your mind is hopeful on one certain Canadian boy that you don't know when or how you've developed feelings for overtime but did. You race down and instead see your very best friend there with a solemn look on his face. "Andre; what are you doing here?" you ask casually with a slight smile. "You didn't answer any of our calls, we were going to Nozu after school but you left. What gives?" he asks you about your odd behavior. You smile uncertain this time but wave a dismissing hand at him with a slight laugh. "Oh, that. I wasn't feeling well." you lie though the look on his face clearly says he doesn't believe that for one second he doesn't pester. And that makes you feel bad that you aren't honest. You sigh defeated and give in.
"They're back together again." you say and the familiarity comes rushing to his face at once. He's the only one that knew about the almost kisses that happened so long ago. He nods in understanding and awkwardly soothes you when you began to tear up. His hands stroked your back as he said nothing; but listened. Now you were crying even more because of how pathetic you thought you looked. How can you be afraid to lose what was never yours?