Just as Isaac arrived home and had landed safely in the hanger bay of the USG Ishimura, a loud somewhat computerized voice came over the radio!
"Isaac! Isaac's home! Isaac's home" it was the ship's onboard computer, code named GLaDOS.
"Hello GLaDOS" Isaac says in a welcoming tone.
"Helloooooooooo! Isaac" GLaDOS squeals in a quirky yet funny tone causing Isaac to chuckle.
"Anyway GLaDOS where's Nicole" Isaac asks? Suddenly several thousand lights erupt to life on the hanger bay, forming what resembled at gigantic arrow. "She went THATAWAY!"
"Thanks GLaDOS" Isaac says with a wave and walks off into the ship.
A few minutes later Isaac had made it to the mess hall and found two large robots with their backs turned towards him.
"What are you two doing" Isaac asked curiously? The two robots turn around but GLaDOS is the one to speak.
"I'm makin CAKE" GLaDOS screams insanely!
"Ookay…I'll leave you to that" Isaac quickly darted out of the room, leaving the two robots alone.
"Hey don't run! You could've helped us with the secret ingredient… YOU! MWAHAHAHA!"
…
Elsewhere in the ship there stood a lonely Nicole, her short hair all dolled up for the party. Well it would've been if she hadn't run out of fricken hairspray!
"Ah come on, just one last sprits! Please" Nicole pleaded with the bottle of designer hair spray, just as Wheezer walked into the room.
"Oh hi Wheezer" Nicole said with a perky smile. Wheezer took a breath and immediately regretted it!
"Oh come on it's not that bad" Nicole wined but Wheezer shook its head, quickly running out the door. "Sheesh and they say he's the poisonous one! Oh well I guess I can just go like this but first…"
At that exact moment Isaac Clarke walked by the door.
"ISAAC!" Nicole shrieks quickly grabbing Isaac and pulling him into the room. Isaac gripped the door frame with his hands, trying to avoid being dragged away by his crazy girlfriend.
"AH! Help me! Somebody help! Anybody! Drag Tentacle? Hive Mind? Lego guy named bob from across the street-"but it was too late, Isaac was dragged inside. "NO!"
"Oh shut up you baby! If I'm getting dressed up then you are too" Nicole roared "Now get in the tub!" Isaac's screams of that horrible bath could still be heard by his descendent a thousand years in the future!
"Great Grampa?" asked a small ghostly pale child from a time long into the future.
…
Seven hours, two horrible baths, and a cartridge of plasma rounds later…
"Back! Back you vile creature! I will not be your puppet anymore" Isaac screamed as he barricaded Nicole inside her room.
"But I only want to put another bow in your hair" Nicole hissed like a she-beast as she reached out her arms through the gaps in Isaac's barricade.
"No means no woman! My hair is not your toy!" Isaac screams back avoiding Nicole's swipes.
"But my Barbies love it when I do their hair" Nicole replies "here take a look." Nicole pulls back one of her arms and then quickly throws something forward. It was a small plastic doll, the dolls clothes were ripped and torn up but the face, deer god the face!
"Holy shit! It's horrible" Isaac felt his stomach lurch and puked on the atrocity that was the Barbie doll. Isaac quickly dropped the doll and ran! He ran and ran until he arrived at the mess hall once more though this time Big-T was there, chowing down on several pizzas. Isaac threw himself forward and jumped into Big-T's mouth.
"Eye-sack?! What you doing in my mouth" Big-T asked quickly yanking Isaac out of his mouth?
"Hiding" Isaac squeaked quickly jumping back inside.
"From" Big-T asked?
"Nicole!" Isaac screamed back ready to crap his pants any minute but just then Nicole's voice echoed throughout the ship.
"Ooh Isaac, come out and play…" Nicole's pleaded in a slasher movie killer voice.
"She's gonna kill me, Tormentor! Hide me" Isaac pleaded. Big-T nodded and sat Isaac down before immediately digging its right arm into its mouth as if to grab something. Isaac watched impatiently as footsteps began to echo out form the hallway "Hurry!" Isaac pleaded, now sweating like a roasted pig in an oven! It was then that Big-T found what he was looking for inside his stomach and began to reel his arm back like some sort of grappling gun. "Come on! What are you doing anyway?" Isaac asked momentarily breaking his panicked mindset.
"Make room" Big-T explained before finally pulling his arm out of his mouth, an entire semi-decomposed body in hand. Isaac immediately gulped; Nicole no longer was his worst concern, Big-T was!
"Y-you know on second thought-"
"Hop in Eye-sack" Big-T explained but Isaac began to back away. "Don't be scared. I made room" It was then that Tormentor grabbed Isaac by the leg and threw him up in the air.
"AHHHH!" Isaac screamed.
"AAA" Tormentor exclaimed as it opened its mouth wide and Isaac fell in.
"With my last bit of life I blame Raditz!" Isaac curses before falling deep into the Tormentor's bottomless stomach. Elsewhere in a parallel universe, a being with long spiky black hair, strange tan armor, and who was about to get owned, turned his head slightly and spoke
"Great Grampa" asked the spiky man?
"Special Beam Cannon" yelled a green yoshi.
"Wait what-BLAAAGHIBLAMEBARD-"
"Shut up Raditz you're not even my real son" explained another being with spiky black hair and green armor.
"Oh…fuc-"
"Censorship Beam!" screamed the green yoshi once again firing a strange yellow beam of energy.
…
Anyway…back with Big-T Aka Tormentor aka the thing that just ate Isaac whole.
"Hey big-T have you seen Isaac anywhere" asked a woman with somewhat long pale brown hair as she entered the mess hall.
"No Kendrah, wait…was Eye-sack in here? I can't remember. So hungry…" Big-T groaned rubbing his stomach as if he had indigestion before turning back to his meal. Kendra shrugged and walked off, muttering about pizza and Isaac owing her twenty bucks.