DM: Hey, how's it going?

Aki: Hey, read the story!

Chapter 2: Pissing off Deidara

1. Sing at the top of your lungs 'Dude, you look like a lady' and hide really quickly when he tries to find you.

"Sensei I don't think it's such a good idea. Your singing is so bad that all of Akatsuki will be after you," said Aki, as she worriedly looked over the latest 'Piss Off's' as DM called them.

Unfortunately the Akatsuki put up a poster claiming that a girl with dirty blonde hair, freckles, and green eyes was never to join Akatsuki ever again.

Fortunately, she has a lot of disguise up her sleeve. DM, who now had brown hair tied up in a ponytail, and had blue eyes looked down at the computer screen.

"Oh come on Aki, don't be such a worry-wart," she smirked before the microphone in her ear; they placed speakers all over the base. They were waiting until Deidara fell asleep.

After 10 minutes, Deidara was sleeping, and DM smiled as she remembered she placed a speaker in his pillow.

"Okay here we go," she said breathlessly. She took a deep breath and shrilled, "DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY!!!"

"WWWHHHAAAA, UN!!" they heard a certain blonde artist scream. DM completely panicked when she realized she didn't have a hiding place.

"Run Sensei! Just run!" Aki shouted as they heard footsteps quickly approaching their room. DM dived under her bed when the door was kicked open.

"Where is it?!" he asked sharply. Aki said tentatively, "Why so serious Sempi?"

"You know why! Where is she?!"

"Oh all right… Tobi did it!"

"T-Tobi?"

"That's right! Tobi told us that he would plant speakers in your room. That's what happened Sempi."

Deidara fled the room yelling the name of his next victim.

2. Die his Akatsuki cloak pink, and glue very large bra's in the chest area, then during the next meeting say "Hey look, Deidara has a sister."

DM flat out refused to do this assignment (saying she loved Deidara too much) so she assigned Aki do the job.

In her cat disguise Aki waited for Deidara to hop in the shower to start her assignment, and to make sure she had time she replaced Deidara's shampoo with super sticky and liquidity bubble gum.

Once Aki heard the water running she nicked the cloak and dragged it to the washer room. Placing it in the machine along with two dozen red socks, she waited for 15 minutes for the colors to mix in.

As she waited she snuck into Konan's room and took all of her bras. Walking back to the room, she glued the bras to the cloak, placed the cloak back in the drawer and, for safety measures, placed a gen-jutsu on it so he won't see what it really is until someone else (Aki) would point it out.

DM refused to attend the meeting so Aki filled in for her. She explained that she was DM's assistant and that she was currently sick.

After a while it was only Deidara that didn't come to Pein's meeting, Aki planted a concrete wall in his doorway so he would purposely be last to arrive.

After another 5 minutes Deidara came walking in and said, "Sorry I'm late, some idiot planted a wall in my door-"

"Hey look, Deidara has a sister!" Aki shouted, pointing at the cross dresser. Deidara stared at her, then took in all of the shocked faces before saying, "What are you talking-"

He looked down at the pink and boob-induced robe and got really red really fast. He wasn't the only one.

"So you're the one who stole all of my bra's?!" Konan asked furiously. Deidara was seen with a terrified looking expression before he was chased out by an enraged female and a picture-snapping Aki.

3. Tell him Tobi just told you his most deepest and darkest secret, and that you just posted it on the Internet. When he accidentally tells you his secret (they always do) say, "Nah, but I was recording the whole conversation. TO THE INTERNET!" And flee.

"I can't wait for this," said DM quietly, hiding the recording device in her ponytail. Walking up to Deidara she ran up to him and said, "Hi Sempi!"

"Hi…" he muttered, he was bruised all over from Konan and all the fangirls. Turning her volume on high she said quietly and threateningly, "Guess what Sempi, Tobi just told me your most deepest and darkest secret!"

He looked at her with upmost horror and blushed. He started to splutter, "H-he told you…"

I gave an earnest nod and said, "Yeah!"

"He told you I have an unbearably huge crush on you, hmm?!" he finished, DM went white and her jaw unhinged from her mouth. Next second she had a nose bleed that shot her across the room and knocked her unconscious.

Aki, who had no idea what had happened, decided to finish the dare by walking up to the blood covered blonde and shouted, "Nah, but I was recording the whole conversation. TO THE INTERNET!"

And she grabbed her Sensei and ran away from the baffled and confused blonde.

4. Ask him the true meaning of art, and during the first 5 minutes of his speech, snore very loudly. When he shakes you awake, yell at him, "Sasori's art is better!"

It took about 6 months to finally start this assignment, for DM was now dating Deidara, she (just like the mission before the last one) refused to do it. So Aki decided to pull it off.

Aki finally managed to get Deidara alone one evening, and cornered him. She gave a deep breath before saying, "Deidara what's the true meaning of art?"

"Oh…oh…urm, well, Fine art is the beauty of that single fleeting moment of explosion Life's only beautiful ... because it's so fleeting, so transient, art is a moment's beauty ... fragile ... fleeting ... hmmm-" Deidara was cut off when he heard loud snoring.

He started to poke Aki in the head slightly, very irritated. "Hey, hmmm. Wake up, hmmm!" he said as she didn't move.

After a few minutes, he shrugged and turned to leave, but he was stopped when someone jerked awake and shrieked, "Sasori's art is better, baka!"

5. In case of emergency: Run like your being chased by a psychopathic bomber.

Aki was already in the countryside by the time she read number 5, after that last stunt she was in 'Deidara's Want To Kill Top 10' and Aki was right under Orochimaru.

DM was still back at base, trying to convince Deidara to lie off, but she and he were so lovesick it was about 5 weeks until Aki could come back, but she had to be re-disguised has a black kitty yet again.

DM: *Glomping Sempi*

Aki: You sicken me Sensei

DM: It's ain't my fault that you decided to take the missions in your own hands!

Aki: Next is Sasori-kun…

DM: *Still Glomping Sempi*