DM: Jaw, jaw, jaw! I'm baaaaack!

Aki: Just when we thought you were dead…

DM: What? I have been busy lately!

Aki: Yeah, doing what? Playing Kingdom Hearts and watching Bleach?

DM: Nooooooooooo!!!

Aki: …

DM: …If anyone knows how to defeat the Xemnas bosses please tell me!! He won't freakin die!!

Aki: *Sigh* DM does not own anything affiliated with Naruto, but she does own the original "Piss Off's."

DM: Oh Zexion-chaaaan! Where are yooooou?!

Aki: *Face-palm*

Chapter 4: Pissing of Itachi

1. Ask him why he has creepy eye line thingy's, than laugh for 5 minutes every time he tries to answer.

"Tachi-kun? Can I ask you something?"

DM sat on the table across from the Uchiha with an innocent expression, even though she was far from innocent. She managed to sneak back into Akatsuki after she asked a friend of hers to shuffle around some memories, so now they all thought she was Deidara's long-lost twin sister. Hidan wouldn't let it go that Deidara looked more like her than the other way around. Feminine.

"Weasel-kun?"

"Don't call me that."

DM narrowed her eyes and tilted her head as she watched Itachi drink tea. After a few minutes of her stare of doom Itachi placed the drink on the table and said, "What?"

"Well…I mean, um…urm…" started DM, fiddling her fingers like Hinata does, "Why do you have creepy eye creases? You're not very old, are you?"

He quirked an eyebrow (and the fangirls went crazy) and stared at DM like she was senile, which in a manner of speaking she was. After her eyes started to glaze over from staring back he sighed and said, "Well, it's really-"

He never, ever, got to finish because at that moment DM fell to the floor and looked like she was having convulsions. Itachi's eyebrows shot up in instant alarm when she started screeching in pain. It took five minutes (which Itachi did absolutely nothing to help her) that the pride of the Uchiha clan realized something.

She was laughing.

Finally propping herself up, she wiped away a tear and sat on the stool, then stared at Itachi. It took him a few seconds to get that she wanted him to answer the first question. He answered it with another one, or at least tried too.

"What was-"

He was cut off when DM smacked her head on the table at started shaking violently with laughter. When she re-raised her head the Uchiha was gone, leaving DM to check No. 1 off of her list.

2. Trip him randomly in the hallway, tape it, than edit it to where it's in slow mo. When you present it to Movie Night, scream, "Matrix!"

Swinging her arms back and forth while walking in the hallway, Aki started whistling the theme song to Code Lyoko while keeping check of the secret camera in her brand new watch.

Ever since Aki had tried her hand with these Piss Off's with Deidara she found it…not her thing (she wasn't immorally corrupt like her Sensei). It took days for DM to convince her to do this job, and even then DM had to offer the watch for Aki to keep. It was a plus that in was solid gold with diamond hands and face.

Quickly shuffling behind the wall when the Uchiha came walking around the corner, Aki pressed the small button and activated the hidden camera just as her Sensei told her too.

Counting to ten in her head Aki jutted her foot out, completely taking the Uchiha by surprise as he fell face down.

Aki fled the room before Itachi could compose himself.

Half an hour later all of the Akatsuki gathered in the movie room at DM's request, although they were wondering why they were taking orders from the supposed sister of Deidara.

The said girl came walking into the room looking so smug that her aura nearly smothered them. Kisame asked her what happened.

"I…uh…I, um, I finally managed to beat Xemnas…" she said awkwardly, "…yeah, that works…"

Pein nodded his head; that sounded right, though he was a bit resentful. He hadn't managed to beat the Xemnas boss; he made a mental note to ask DM for cheats later.

He snapped out of his reverie when DM placed in a DVD. He was stunned to see it when he saw Itachi, falling over and over again with Cartoon Heroes playing to it. Pein looked over to Itachi, who had murder flashing in his eyes, and looked down to DM who had just screamed, "Matrix!"

She was last seen being dragged out by Itachi and laughing herself blue.

4. Give five hour long speech on why he shouldn't have killed his clan and make Sasuke's life such a living hell, then once your done glare at him stupidly and ask, "What the hell are you doing here? Get out of my room you sick pervert!"

"…and another thing, you realize how many little girls he's raped by now?! How scarred they would be?! And how many times Orochimaru must have molested him like so?! You ruined everything and made him emo!"

Itachi glared at DM with a passionate dislike. After the whole Matrix incident DM had gained the upper deck for reasons unknown to him and now had him hanging upside down with a chakra induced rope tied to his right ankle, leaving his left leg hanging uselessly. (Raise your hand if you just had a mega nosebleed!!!)

It took a lot of willpower for DM to not do anything rash, but it grew harder when his robe started to fall to the mercy of gravity. She wrapped her speech up quickly.

"…so it proves that you shouldn't have screwed Sasuke's life up! We could have one less emo in the world, but nooooo!" and she gave him her shoulder, and crossed her arms.

After five minutes of Itachi hanging uselessly DM turned back to him and glared at him stupidly.

"What the hell are you doing here? Get out of my room you sick pervert!"

Itachi then cocked an eyebrow at her (DM nearly died of blood-loss) and said coldly, "I'm inclined to say that, after all, you are the one keeping me prisoner against my will-"

DM couldn't help it. She grabbed her camera and snapped away in pursuit in paying for the watch she bought Aki.

5. In case of emergency: Run, kid, run

"All ready on it!" DM shouted into her phone, which was nestled between her cheek and shoulder since her hands were busy. On hand was holding the photos she took of Itachi as helpless as a stray puppy-dog (I know some of you fanlings died! Don't you lie to me!) while the other was holding back a furious pack of wolves…I mean, bidders.

"Aki, are you ready?" she shouted over the fan pack to her apprentice who was on the other end. She heard Aki's 'yes' though it was muffled since she was holding the phone away from her too sensitive ears…the pack was deafening, even through a cell phone.

"Okay! I'm ready when you are!" and with that DM threw the photos into the air. When the pack went into a frenzy she slithered like a snake underneath them and successfully managed to snag away. Aki was waiting around the edges of the crowd with a Ferrari waiting behind her.

"Alright, then let's go!" said DM hopping into the drivers seat (even though she was a year away from license) and pressed down onto the pedal.

DM: What a nice getaway car!

Aki: A little too much, don't you think?

DM: Ever here of getting away with style?!

Aki: …um…

DM: Jaw, jaw, jaw…finally beat Xemnas!

Aki: I like Xemnas-

DM: ZEXION-KUUUUUUUUN!

Aki: …I like Xemnas…