-I do not own HG. All credits go to Suzanne Collins. -

Katniss's POV:

My head lies on Peeta's chest. I listen to his steady heart beat. It is so beautiful, and strong. There is no need for words just comfort. My mind however is working over shift trying to cope with the past events. I let myself fall, part of me is screaming at myself but part of me says why bother? Peeta sits here holding me not pushing me when I almost busted his head open with a log. I don't know how he does it. How he continues to love someone so broken as me. I will not be able to give him a family or be a stable wife. I do not want that, but I think he does. We are friends and I love that we are. He's is the sun, radiate and warm as ever. I am glad he came back. I breathe some trying not to listen to my negative side to early. I will fall soon enough, now I just want to breathe.

Later that day I am running water for a shower. I strip and get in the pouring indoor summer rain. I fold myself into my chest under it. I bring the soap to the bath floor where I sit. I sit there under the stream for almost an hour. I just soak up all my life has become. Some of what I have run away from and some I can't bare to stop running so I only acknowledge. I still feel broken and no where near healed or healing for that matter. I just have this sun ray in my mind today that makes me feel good, just good. It is nice, to just breathe while the warm water runs down my face and drips off my nose. The silk wet liquid soaks my hair making it darker. My scars glowing off of my olive skin, light pink on golden tan.

I look down on the white tile and see little streams of dirt where my feet lay. I notice the slightly stinging sensation that follows after my realization. I lift my feet and find cuts, blisters, and scrapes. Last night when I woke up from a terrible slumber I ran to Peeta with out thought, though when I saw him I became scared of the situation and ran from that too. I ran the whole way to my old home from the victor's village on my bare feet. I have not acclimated my feet for summer yet, I guess that's over with. Once I realized Peeta was following me it, at the moment, seemed a good reason to flee. It seemed reasonable to run from whatever was chasing me at the moment. My thoughts were what was really chasing me, not Peeta. But I broke down in my old yard and became a monster. To my surprise Peeta did not have a flash back, for which I am grateful. My barriers fell while in his arms. I then realized I could not run from my thoughts unless he was there to distract me.

I sound like I am using him, and maybe I am. What if I am? How come I am always the selfish one? Why can't I be more like him? I fall on my back in the shower, the water beating down on my stomach. It numbs my skin for a minute I wish it would numb me entirely. But I rather feel pain than feel nothing at all. I finally pull myself out of the bathroom and get dressed in a shirt and an old pair of jeans.

I can smell Sae's cooking down stairs, so I quickly finish and head to the kitchen. Lucy is there and so is Haymitch. I look around for him, but do not see him. Haymitch grins at me as Sae tells me to sit down. I sit far away from Haymitch, me being a little scared. Lucy starts to show me her pictures she drew, they are amazing but I only think of him. I hate it! They discuss the districts and President Paylor. I listen intently as Lucy draws. Sae said the dinner would be a while. So I get up to go, well I don't really know actually. I make my way over to the fireplace and stoke it and add some more wood. Everyone looks relatively happy. It's nice, to see some warmth. They are what family I have left. My mom rarely calls or I rarely answer, either one prevents us from being close again.

Buttercup walks in and curls up by the hearth. The vibe in the house is nice tonight, March 5, I think. It's my birthday and they all forgot. Oh well, I really don't care. I suddenly hear Abernathy over there speak of me. I look up; they all are staring at me.

''What?'', I ask.

''She really is hard headed, but a keeper definitely a keeper, deserves a lot those two. You know I was not that strong when I was their age…Peeta, I think he fooled all of us, that boy is a lot stronger than we all thought.'' Haymitch says, and then he starts talking about his geese. My head fills with what he said, despite all Peeta and I can be I truly believes he loves us. This brings a smile to my face. I start to walk somewhere, unaware as to where that would be when Sae speaks up.

''Katniss dear where are you going?'', she asks.

''She doesn't know where, just let her run''. Haymitch says and it pushes me over.

''I do not run!''I say.

''Save it sweetheart, I don't care'' he says.

''Yes you do or why would you have come back? Huh, we are not stupid Haymitch!''

''I came back because you need someone''.

''How dare you I don't need anyone!''

''Oh really, how have you been doing lately sweetheart? Huh, eating enough?''

I am shut up, I glare all I have him.

''Why do you care Haymitch? If it bothers you don't bother worrying about it. Why does anyone ever care!'' A loud crash comes from Lucy as her glass falls to the floor, ''I am tired of making people miserable, I make them hurt. If it is an issue, don't deal with it! I do not need you or anyone Haymitch. I am fine on my own!''

Sae looks at me as if she feels deeply for me; however she does not look hurt from my words. Haymitch glares at me.

''You are so blind Katniss, its good you have someone who loves you no matter what you do. You probably will find that only in him, so don't screw it up like everything else. Peeta is a good guy.'' Haymitch said.

''Well it's not like your drinking helps anyone else Haymitch, and I don't need anyone to love me! Why would I want them to have to endure me? Peeta is the one who is blind! He doesn't see my flaws; he did when they screwed him up! But look he still broke through!''

''You arrogant girl! You do not know what that boy has been through for you!'' Haymitch says dangerously.

''Well he can go find himself a good wife who can give him kids, and stop feeling bad for me!'' I say.

''You think I am giving you charity?''I turn around and see the dark hurt in his eyes, how long has he been here? ''I am sorry Katniss if I caused you pain, if you would prefer me to rid myself from you I will'' The next thing he says slowly. ''All I do, is for you.''

With that I fly out the door.

Sae's POV:

That poor girl, she almost brings me to tears. Haymitch could be a little more gentle with her but getting her out of this does not require cuddling her. Peeta, poor Peeta. That boy deserves her, I think she loves him but she just can't admit it. They need each other; no one else will cut it, not with what they experienced together. Watching all of this fold an unfold is something to see.

I smell the dinner in the oven as Katniss flies out the door. Peeta is still in the hallway with a hard hurt glare, holding back tears, and then politely excuses himself. I watch as he leaves with out Haymitch or I saying a word. My eyes find Haymitch, when he finds my stare he tries to look innocent. Not this time, my dear friend, I think as I fish out dinner and set it on the table. Well now our meal consists of two instead of the intended four. This was Katniss's birthday meal and I don't think she even knew it was her birthday. Haymitch and I eat in silence and he leaves soon after, but before he can go I stop him.

''I know things are hard on all of us, and especially those two. But Haymitch it was her birthday. We can't hold her hand, I know but you chose to make a mess of this tonight, so you fix it!'' He grumbled and with that he left. I cleaned the kitchen and the glass on the floor. Lucy had slipped up stair once the yelling became over whelming. I went up stairs in search for her. I opened Katniss's bedroom and found Lucy in the add on bathroom. She went into my arms and I carried her down stairs and out the door. On my way out of the Village I noticed Peeta's down stairs lights on and none of Haymitch's.

Katniss POV:

When I slammed the door my first thought was to run to the woods but when I got there, there were people working in the meadow planting flowers and refurnishing the grass. I stopped abruptly and turned on my heel heading the other way. I then could only feel my rapid heart beet and my bare feet slamming on rubble. But I could care less. Then my feet ash and I looked up. I was in what was left of my home. And then I immediately fell down; no tears came, just light headiness and exhaustion. I do not remember anything after that.

My head throbbed as my stomach grumbled when I woke up the next morning. The sun was too bright. I squinted for a couple of minutes before I pulled myself up and walked around some. I saw no need to go back to the house, and where else should I go. So I slumped down where Peeta and I sat two nights ago.

I listened to the birds for a while as the sun lifted into the sky. The peace and quite was nice, I relished it, and fell back into a slumber.

Peeta's POV:

I walked back to my house after Katniss left. I entered my house and slammed the door shut, that's when the tears started to fall, and it was out of my control now. I have been pushed back again. I try to walk up my stairs while staring out of my foggy vision. I just need sleep…

I was awoken by the anxiety that comes in waves all over my body. It hurts; a stinging sensation touching parts of me, devouring me. It exhausts me, if that's possible at this point. I lay there in pain with my own worst enemy; me. My brain, is straining to find any memory of something I said to upset her.

I continue to rack my brain, but nothing appears. We had such a good morning a day ago. What could have happened? She was so relaxed in my arms, it felt so right. How that could seem fake, but it wasn't. We were alone; maybe last night was on impulse. I wish I knew everything behind that beautiful head of hers. I want to know just enough to help, in what ever way I can.

This is when I notice that my sheets and I are clammy, lovely. I get up and strip my bed into a pile on the floor. I enter my bathroom to wash my slumber off my face. I then make my way down to my kitchen for some water. I am looking around my kitchen and living room when it hits me. Haymitch, Haymitch will know. Maybe he will help me understand. To be honest I, for one second, considered leaving last night before I fell asleep. She doesn't want me here, 'she doesn't need me here'. Well I do not know but something tells me not to go. Plus I need to be here for me as well.

It is coming on 10:00 in the morning, so I head over to Haymitch with a loaf of bread.

-Uhh I have had writer's block and sometimes I can't remember what I have already written. But trust me it will get interesting soon. Please review you Hunger Games fans! I can't become a better writer if you don't tell me what I could have done better. Thanks for reading this. But if you skimmed it, please read it from top to bottom. Every little detail adds to the value of it.

-T