My beautiful Peeta stares into my eyes, taking in my profession of love for him. I notice no one in the room anymore. In my mind it is just the two of us. His hands wrap around my waist as a warm smile plays on his lips.
"Its real, I promise. Peeta I do love you." I repeat.
I know he loves me, he always has but I want him to say it right now. I need to hear him say it, even though how he's held me and kissed me makes it clear that he does love me.
"I love you, Katniss Everdeen. I always have." My lips catch his in another searing kiss.
"As much as we all want to watch this happy reunion, why don't you two run off and let the rest of us stomach our food." Haymitch taps us on the shoulders and smiles.
We don't need to be told twice, Peeta takes my hand and leads me away from the room. He stops at his room along the way and grabs a blanket.
"I want to take you somewhere." He says and I follow him out the doors back to the ground level.
He leads me to a new area. It is fresh, green and new. He lays down the large blanket and I see a bottle of wine and two glasses. He shrouds us in the warm blanket and hands me a glass with a sweet, floral wine.
"How do you have this?" I ask as I sip the wine.
"Things have changed. It's allowed in moderation. Look around Katniss. They're rebuilding 13." He pulls me closer into him, I can't help but feel complete with him next to me.
I do see, even in the evening light that frames of buildings have started as well as trees and plants already scatter the ground. I can't even think of a better moment that what is happening right now. I am surrounded and loved by my boy with the bread. We are cuddled together in a soft patch of new earth, and everything is perfect. His lips leave a trail of kisses along the side of my face. My stomach is set a flutter with happy butterflies.
"What made you finally say you love me?" He whispers into my ear.
"I knew from our first game that in my heart there was always a spot for you, it took me a while to realize that the spot needed you. Having you taken from me in the quell solidified it. Being sent back to the arena made me want you even more, it was all I could do to not let the separation kill me. It was crippling. I hated myself for letting you walk out of my cell without telling you exactly how I felt. I knew if I made it out alive I was going to find you and tell you, and pray that you felt the same."
"I've always loved you, even when the hijacking made me hurt you. My mind told me I wasn't in love but my heart told me otherwise. It was horrible knowing that then when I would look at you I felt confusion. Now I look at you and I'm taken away complete consumed with love for you." He says sweetly.
Our lips touch and it's like electricity flowing and caressing my body. I can't get enough of this boy, forever will never be long enough. The minutes pass as we kiss and refill out glasses. I'm warmed to the core with wine and Peeta's love. We've abandoned the glasses and now lay twined together, my head perched on his strong chest. The position is uncomfortable for my ribs, but I don't ever want to move if it means leaving his arms.
"Can I ask you something and can you answer it honestly?" Peeta asks somberly his hand stroking my hair.
"Okay" I mumble as I really didn't want to talk, I just wanted to feel.
I know what he is going to ask before he even opens his mouth, "Are you okay?"
I know the real answer will break his heart. No, I am not okay. How could anyone be okay after 3 hunger games? Look at what 2 games have done to Peeta and what the games have done to Haymitch and Annie. None of us are okay.
"One day I will be." I respond because a simple yes or no just won't do.
My traitorous eyes cloud with tears and Peeta catches on, "Shit… Katniss I'm sorry. I never should have asked." He rolls over so we are face to face.
"I'm sorry." I hiccup and I'm consumed with anger, fear, and terror again.
He doesn't say anything but hold me close and let me cry it out. He knows there are no words that will make the nightmares and visions go away. He knows that all too well.
"I've completely ignored you, I haven'e asked you if you're okay." I stammer.
"Don't worry about me, all that matters now is that you are here in my arms." He kisses my forehead.
My mind wonders, and I hope the answer to the question I am about to ask is no. I look him in and the eye and gather the courage to speak.
"What happened when I was in the arena? Did they broadcast it like always? Peeta… please tell me you didn't watch." I breathe raggedly as I wait for his answer.
"I watched. They had it on screens all over the complex. I sat right here at watched the whole time. I needed to see you."
I shake my head, "Peeta… you shouldn't have. I hurt people, I don't want you to remember that about me."
He tips my face to his, "All I remember is each time you got hurt and how I would have personally made each person pay for ever scratch and every broken bone. You had a knife carve a gash from your shoulder to your rib, another cut across your stomach, and your mangled ribs. I watched because if the moment came and you died, I would have taken these." He shows me the nightlock pills in a clear bag.
I wrap my hand around the pills and hurl them away from us and he continues, "I didn't lie when I said I will follow you into the afterlife, be it your death by the games or your punishment for Coins death. I have no family left, no home in 12. All I have is you, Katniss. It will be all I ever need. As long as I have you, the pain goes away. Having you in my life makes each morning worth waking up for if it means I get to see you the minute my eyes open. I don't feel sorry for watching you fight and win. You are a fearsome and beautiful creature, Katniss Everdeen. No matter what they call you, criminal, Mockingjay or anything else, all you will ever be to me is the most beautiful woman in the world."
I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him like I've never kissed someone before. He breaks the kiss and continues to kiss a trail down my neck. My hands wind into his shirt and pull him closer. I don't even care that Peeta's added weight on me makes my ribs scream in pain. I find his lips again and get lost in our kiss. Peeta's hand trails my body and hooks behind my leg. He hitches my leg up and the movement has caused me to bear my weight on my injured ribs. I gaps and see white from the intense pain. I start panting and clutch my side. Peeta is off of me in a flash and gingerly pulling me to a sitting position.
"I guess that was the sign to stop before we got ahead of ourselves…" He say and then I watch him stifle a laugh.
"What?" I remark, "What's so funny?"
He shrugs it off and concerns himself with my ribs, "Are you okay? You don't think the broke again do you?"
"They are tender and sore, I just have to be careful." I tell him and watch him turn purple in the face, trying to hold back a laugh.
"Peeta…" I warn.
"Well that's good… I was startin to think you couldn't handle this." He motions to himself.
I'm flabbergasted, Peeta has never acted like this but I oddly like this side of him. I raise an eyebrow and look him up and down.
"I can handle you, I'm concerned about you handling me." I smile slyly and crawl toward him.
I straddle his waist and place a finger on his chest and push him to the ground, "I know the girl who was on fire is a tough act to measure up to."
My hand rakes down his shirt and I watch him become putty in my hands. Before I know it I am cradled into his arms and gently lain on the blanket. He smirks and leans over me with his beautiful eyes full of delight and happiness.
"Oh the thing is my lifetime of baking has equipped me to tame the fire and handle the heat. I know how to push and pull the flames." As he says this his hand strokes back and forth on my shin.
I smile as it tickles, he continues, "I know how to make the fire smolder and how to make the flames explode." His hand traipses past my knee and toys with the hem of my dress
He caresses his hands on the tops of my thighs, and I can't help by feel the butterflies surge back with vengeance. He smiles when I catch his eyes and raise an eyebrow, daring him to continue if he can handle it.
"Look now folks, see how the flame has smoldered away." He laughs, "the fire thinks I can't handle it, but I can."
I laugh and throw my hands over my face, "The fire thinks is funny that the baker must ensure himself that he can handle the fire. Clearly he has handled the fire before."
He looks at me intirigued as to what I am getting at, "I think it is clear enough you can handle me, and I you, seeing as we are married and had a baby on the way at one point."
We stare at each other and collapse in laughter. My point has sealed….well whatever it was that we were trying to prove, that of which I am still unsure of.
He lays next to me and smiles, "You are crazy."
"No." I smile, "Not crazy, just crazy for you."