I wake for once knowing that I am safe. I know that because I am enclosed in the arms of my wonderful Peeta. I didn't have a nightmare, and I have put my faith into the idea that it was because I stayed with Peeta all night. I lay in his arms listening to the soft, effortless breaths he takes and the occasional snore. I softly brush his shaggy hair out of his eyes and smile as I see dazzling blue eyes staring back at me.

"Good morning beautiful." He whispers and kisses my cheek.

"So what are the days like here?" I mumble

"No more schedules. Most of us are helping rebuild outside. Mostly the men build the houses and businesses. The women are working on planting trees and other things. We pretty much do what we want, but it's expected that we help. Meals are still at the usual times but there's fluctuation with the times. If you're late, it's not a big deal."

Peeta gets up and goes about getting ready for the day. I kiss him goodbye and make my way to my own suite. My mother is gone, burying herself in her work to forge the pain of losing Prim. I don't blame her, I don't want to be in this room either. I jump into the shower, braid my hair and search for clothes. I find a pair of black leggings, my soft leather boots and gingerly slip in soft green t-shirt. I don't know what to do with myself. I leave the suite and find Gale about to knock on my door.

"Catnip." He smiles, "President Paylor wants to talk to you."

I shake my head, "No, I have nothing to say to her or anyone else who sent me to those games." I refuse adamantly.

"It wasn't her fault, Katniss." Gale states and catches my hand before I turn and walk away.

"Gale!" I gasp, "Don't you understand that Paylor and all of her people sentenced me to the games. They did do this to me. You don't even know how much I hate myself for everything I've been forced to do in the games. I look in the mirror and I don't like myself!"

Gale looks at me, "I get it Catnip. I do. Just go talk to her."

I pull my hand away, "If you got it, then you wouldn't be standing here telling me to go talk to them. I hate it here, I didn't want to come back. I want to go home to 12."

"There's nothing left for you there Katniss!" He yells.

I don't see Gale anymore, I see Grayson's angry face and him slicing my skin open. I sprint away, hearing him angrily taunt me "Katniss!" "Katniss!". The yells fade away and I tear across the tarmac and into the woods. I do not understand how I am still in the games. All that matters know is that none of the past days was real. It was all inside my head. What had the gamemakers done, put something in the air that makes us hallucinate.

I run deeper into the forest, the tepid late summer air brings a sheen of sweat on my skin. I stop only to succumb to the pain in my ribs. I lose all sense and notion of time. I sit against the large trunk of a weeping willow, the fronds waving back and forth lazily. Nothing makes sense anymore. I thought I lived through this and went back to 13. I wait for Greyson to find me again, and I will end this for real. I pull my knife out of the sheath inside my boot and wait. It isn't long in the fading daylight that I hear something moving. I make out the beam of a flashlight. It's now or never. I spring to my feet and close the distance between us. I skid to a halt and almost drop my knife. I am faced with exact replications on Peeta, Haymitch and Gale. Muttations , and very convincing ones at that.

"Sweetheart, listen to me."Muttation Haymitch speaks to me and steps closer to me.

I stiffing my arm and point the knife at him, "Leave me alone!" I yell.

Tears flow from my eyes, as I wonder what happened to them and why they are in the games trying to kill me. Muttation Peeta moves toward me.

"Katniss, this isn't real. Darling, listen to us. Listen to me. Know what is in your heart, you know that I love you. Please, put down the knife." He is inches from me.

I don't know what to do, listen or run. He has his hand around the hilt of the knife. I drop it and run. He anticipated it and got a grip on my wrist. I and dragged toward him and taken to the ground.

"Please!" I scream, "Please don't kill me! I have to win. I have to go home. I can't die here! Please, please let me go!"

I am screaming for my life, pleading as if this mutt will have a heart and let me go. He had both of my arms in a tight grip, I am at his mercy. Sobbing, gut wrenching tears will not save me. He is not the real boy I need to go home too.

"You don't understand. I love him and he doesn't know. You can't kill me! I have to kill Greyson so I can live!"

I sob "please" over and over. The mutt is staring at me with the worst expression of agony.

"Do it Mellark, or I will!" the Haymitch mutt growls.

The Peeta mutt doesn't move, he just stares at me. Haymitch mutt descends upon us and I see the glint of a syringe. It is plunged into my thigh.

My sobs double, "What have you done! I'll never get to see him again!"

I fade into blackness and my last glimpse is the Peeta mutt shedding a tear for the pathetic Mockingjay who will never fly home.