I know I've been gone forever! I can't even begin to tell you the major amount of work I've been working through for college, sadly this just had to go to the wayside so I could apply for student teaching, and pass my midterm exams. You all have been so patient, so here is my reward to you. You all are excellent readers, I love seeing your reviews, it truly brightens up my dreary winter days at school!
Peeta and I are cooped up in the mansion under constant close observation. I don't mind at all, the long hours I spend with Peeta doing nothing but enjoying each other's company. We baked… well he bakes and I watch him. We spend hours listening to the radio and dancing together, enjoying the simplicity of it all. The long days and nights were doomed to never last. After two days Paylor decided it would be safe to send us out for another interview, with my particular favorite, Caesar Flickerman.
I woke in the morning, terrified to find Peeta was not next to me. My worst fear has been realized, my boy with the bread was gone.
"Peeta!" I yell scrambling from the tangled blankets on the bed.
I've just managed to untwist myself from the blankets when the bathroom door bursts open and Peeta emerges.
He rushes to the bed and sits by me, "Katniss, I'm right here."
I finally remember to breathe and wrap my arms around his neck and cling to him for dear life.
"I thought you left me!" I whisper into his shoulder, "I'm so afraid you'll be taken from me. They've taken Prim and almost everyone else I love. I'm scared they will get you, too."
He sighs and hugs me tightly, "They will have to go through hell and back to get me to leave you.
He is content to just hold me until I feel secure enough to let him go. He hands rubs small circles into my back, while I take comfort in his strong arms. I'm not ready to release my grip on him when she stirs a little.
"Darling, we have to get going. We need to be prepped for the interview." He says softly.
I know very well it only takes his team about an hour to prep him, where as it takes hours upon hours to get me camera ready.
I loosen my grip on his and whisper into his ear, "I love you."
He kisses my cheek and whispers the same back. The morning flies by in a blur of me scrambling to get dressed and ushered to the car. We are escorted everywhere and Haymitch joins us in the car for added support.
"Paylor wants you two to stay away from answering questions about the security intrusion. Don't let them know Katniss was singled out by it, and certainly don't let them know why we've kept you out of the public eye for the past few days. I'm trusting Mellark to come up with a good lie." Haymitch tells us in the car as we near our destination.
He smirks at me, "No offense sweetheart, you are a horrible liar. Let him lay on the charm and feed the crowd and Caesar things they want to hear."
Peeta chuckles and pats my leg, as we pull up to our prep center. I wave goodbye to Haymitch and follow our escorts into the familiar prep rooms. As usual, I am stripped of body hair, washed, styled and made up to perfection. My dresses have taken to a different style. Long gone are the filmy summer dresses. The chilly fall has set in and I crave warmth. The dress she puts me in today is stunning. A deep purple stretchy dress with sleeves that stop at my elbow. I am wearing black sheer tights and a pair of heeled dark grey boots. It is simple and comfortable, something I am grateful. The dress may be a little too far on the revealing side, it does appear to be painted on me.
Our prep sessions have become less rigid and more relaxed as our time has extended in the Capitol. My team still prefers to prep me away from Peeta so they can bring me to him and see the effect I can have on him. He can be counted on to rave about my appearance and overly flatter my team. It is very cute and something I look forward to each time I have to be prepped. It's one of the most important part of this process for me, I imagine Cinna asking me to twirl for him. I can only ever oblige the idea, owing Cinna for his life so readily destroyed because of me.
We are escorted from the building with more guards and rushed quickly to the building in the heart of the Capitol where we will meet with Caesar. It is much different this time. A set of guards is always with us, ever watching and observing. We aren't standing around waiting like we did before, there is a sense of urgency as the stage buzzes with activity. It isn't long at all before Caesar announces our arrival on set. Peeta grasps my hand and pulls me into the view of the cameras. I can almost hear Effie reminding me to smile.
"Peeta and Katniss, welcome back! I dare say it is an honor to get to interview you two again." Caesar beams widely.
Peeta jumps right into being charming, "Thank you Caesar, we're excited to be back here."
I do admit to liking Caesar's interviews, he his lighthearted and genuinely means well. I can't blame him for the place he grew up and the career he was in.
"Katniss, I dare say we have missed you in the spotlight, what has been going on lately?" Caesar prods after a long winded exchange with Peeta.
The recent memory of Gale and the rebels flashes in my mind and the particularly horrible dreams that have plagued any chance of sleep that I manage to claim.
I forcibly smile and look at Caesar, "There is just so much to do around the Capitol. We are out so late, I just needed a few days to sleep in."
Peeta smiles and nods along, his fingers intertwined in my own. I really am a horrible liar and Caesar was not convinced at all. I felt the bright lights of the stage get even hotter.
"Oh now Katniss, you don't expect us to believe that. Tell us what is really going on."
Peeta takes control of the conversation and smiles, "Okay… you caught us. We took a couple days to start planning our wedding."
The crowd devoured that bombshell. Of course what Peeta said wasn't exactly a lie, we did talk a lot about our future and the plans that awaited us when we left the capitol. We played along divulging information of the wedding I wanted. A spring wedding back in 13 in a little meadow with just a few people.
"What about children? Can we expect you to start a family right away?" Caesar asks brightly.
I peer at Peeta, this is definitely a question I didn't want to answer. I knew how Peeta felt about children and I knew we stood on polar opposites on the matter. He squeezed my hand and turned to Caesar.
"Not right away, Caesar!" Peeta laughs it off. "I would love to have kids, but it is up to Katniss after all. I don't want to rush her especially after what happened after the quell."
The crowd sighed remembering that I had lost the baby in the aftermath of the quell. I took my cue to look particularly sad about the matter. I wondered slightly would it would be like to have Peeta's baby, of course would have to be together for that to happen. That point alone wouldn't happen until we left the capitol he was adamant about that. I felt horrible for Peeta, wanting nothing more than a family to fulfill the one he had lost in district 12. They never treated him nice, I couldn't imagine just how badly he wanted to have a family of his own to do nothing more than simply love them. I couldn't deny that Peeta would be a good father, he would dote upon his children and always care for them. I suddenly felt horrible for taking the pills that would make sure I wouldn't have a baby, how could I do this to Peeta. He has done nothing but make me happy, why couldn't I be more than happy to have a baby with him? It's what soon to be married people talked about, right? People who got married should want to have children, what was wrong with me?
The rest of the interview flew by as my mind was otherwise occupied with my future with Peeta. When the lights of the stage flickered off I was shaken out of my reverie. Peeta noticed how off I was and pulled me aside the stage, his eyes light and concerned.
"Are you okay?" He asked sweeping his thumb across my cheek.
Leaning into his touch I shrug, "Peeta, I've been so selfish…"
He looks confused at my comment and rubs his hands across my shoulders, "Katniss, you've been nothing but understanding of me. What are you talking about, darling?"
Tears prick my eyes, the guilt raging inside me, "A baby, Peeta."
"I told you, I don't care, Katniss. I really don't. As long as I have you, I will be happy."
Shaking my head, "No you're not Peeta. Look me in the eye and say you don't want a baby and I will believe you."
He looks into my eyes and I see that he can't even lie to me. He tries so hard to mask his emotions but the answer is playing clearly on his face. He wanted children and he was hurt because I didn't. I felt horrible, guilt chewing away at me. Peeta looks at me with those eyes I can't get enough of.
"Katniss, darling… Please stop looking like you've just done something horrible. Please let's just talk about this when we get back. Not here, not in public." He whispered, kissing my forehead.
I wanted to cry, and yell at him for being so nice to me, "Let's go please." I whimpered.
Realization struck me as Peeta obliged and tightly held my hand. He led us back out of the studio followed by more escorts. Of the interviews we've done with Caesar, we always ended up arguing. It seemed strange that it happened so regularly, I wonder if Peeta noticed. We reached the lobby area, the escorts turned to Peeta.
"You are going home separately; Paylor needs you to go to another interview." One escort said to Peeta motioning to the waiting car outside.
Peeta kissed me goodbye and followed the escorts out the door. That's when I knew something was off. They knew I wasn't supposed to be left alone… ever. I looked around, and noticed another pair of escorts walking swiftly towards me. Nothing made sense anymore, they were dressed just the same as the ones Peeta left with. That's when it clicked, I screamed for Peeta. Who ever they were they had tricked us. I worked quickly to unlatch my knife and run for the imposters.
"Peeta!" I yelled, making my move for him but I was grabbed by one of the escorts I recognized.
The other charged after Peeta who was fighting off the imposters and failing. The escort restraining me knocked the knife out of my hand as I thrashed against him. The other real escort was shot by one of the fakes ones. The gunshot sounding like the all familiar canon in the arena. Peeta was dragged through the glass doors and into the waiting car. I watched as more real escorts took on the fake ones who seemed to be coming from all different directions. Gun shots sounding outside, screams of terror from innocent citizens erupting after the shots.
I was pushed to the ground next to a couch, the escort shielding my body with his. I was sobbing horribly now. The man shielding me was yelling into a device over my crying. Peeta was taken from me by a group of very well disguised imposters. I had no idea if he was dead on the street or thrown into a car and driven away. Both options meant I wouldn't be seeing him for a long time. That did nothing but make me angry, angry enough to throw off the man and bolt for the door. He proved to be faster than I though and his arms reahed around my body and lifted me away. He hurried me down a hallway and into a dark room.
"What are you doing? We need to go get Peeta!" I sobbed making a break for the door he was blocking.
He stood before me, unwavering, "Mockingjay, you are staying right here. There is nothing we can do about Peeta right now."