Hey guys:) Thanks to ALL my wonderful, beautiful readers:) Should I continue this story? I don't get a ton of reviews, so I don't know if it's interesting enough to be considered a real story. I adore everything you have to say, regardless if it's positive of negative. Well, PM or Review me with any compliments/critiques/ suggestions. Love you guys! Oh and I know how I want to end the story:) So be on the look out for details that will be leading up to the end, which will change Panem forever;)
Nothing. Nothing. You say a word so many times in your head and it looses meaning. Nothing. Nothing. No matter how loud or how much I tell myself Gale is nothing, my brain's counter reply is "something. Something. Something with Gale. " It's driving me to insanity. I'm supposed to love Peeta. But then again, I was supposed to die in the games, being from district twelve. Peeta is such a nice guy. He's soft and he can bake, he knows how to treat a girl. But I'm not that girl. I know he's capable of being the perfect husband. He's displayed it with Analex. Maybe I'm the problem. I bring out the worst in Peeta. He loves me, but just because I'm the only one present in his life right now. But when Analex works here, I won' t be the only one. Nor will I be the most important.
"Peeta, can we talk?" I talk slow and melodic, hoping for a conversation rather than a yelling match.
"What now? Jeez, you need a lot of attention. Like a dog, kind of."
"A dog? You're comparing your wife to a dog?" I scoffed with a sarcastic breath. Backtracking as if I don't understand, Peeta explains to me all my flaws. God help me so I don't blow off his head this second.
"Peeta, you're incredibly smart. And you know what? You're right. It's always me. It's me asking for the attention. Me wanting to get rid of the maid. Me wanting children. But you know what? It was me who saved you in the games. It was me who pretended to love someone I didn't just so you could live." Shaking his head as if it's no big deal, and this is just a regular, minor fight, I grab his arm. I stare into his eyes and I just give him the look, like "I'm done. I deserve better."
"And guess what? It's me who deserves to be loved. And it's me…. It's me who's walking out on you."
Because this day is already so merry and pleasant, Analex decided to drop by today to confirm her work schedule. Peeta, in tears- or maybe just water he splashed on his face for sympathy- meanders dejectedly towards the front entrance. As soon as the door swings open, Peeta weeps into Analex's open arms. I'm so close to screaming and crying that I just slip out the back door, headed for the Justice building. I'm doing this now. I'm ending this torturous adventure.
The amounts of separations in Panem are extremely scarce. No one ever splits up. And I'm sure this is just great for my accidental mockingjay ego. Being that no one ever splits up, the process is extremely easy. As time-saving as this process is, and as much as I could really forget Peeta for good, signing that paper isn't going to be as paltry as I originally thought.
A glassy brown pen sits dappling in my hand. In my hand, the pen is twisting and turning and bouncing, as if I were taking a test. Me, being at my breaking point, start to loose it at the desk. Shaking like a leaf on a weather-tormented tree, I start to squeak and cry. Except there are no tears left to shed. I can't do this. I can't be serious. My hands pat the desk absentmindedly, and I almost slam the pen down with one last wave of failure. But then I think of Gale. Gale, my best friend. My everything, now.
I pick the pen back up.
Walking out of the building the clerk calls after me,
"Thanks for your business, Ms. Everdeen." Turning around instinctively to tell her it's actually "Mrs. Mellark", I stop myself, smile, and walk out the glass revolving doors.
SUPER, ridiculously awful chapter! Haha, I just wanted to get one out before the new week:)
Stay creative, stay beautiful
Olivia