A/N: In which Chai refers to things that canonically shouldn't exist in ATLA world. Also, I did not review/edit this chapter at all before posting, so...yay!
Hot Knife | Chapter III
Chai plucked a berry from her fruit tart and popped it into her mouth. "I mean, both are pretty difficult to train apparently, but the eel hound is super fast on water and land, whereas the flying fish-opotamus doesn't have legs so it's only useful for water travel. I guess you can try to get them to slither? Or bounce, maybe, since they look more like giant purple beach balls than snakes." She shrugged and bit into the tart. "But what I really want is a dragon moose."
"Wow, it's like you're a talking textbook." Contrary to her word choice, Mai looked anything but fascinated by the other girl's oral dissertation on riding animals. She nibbled daintily at her own fruit tart as Chai scarfed down one after another without pausing for air between bites.
She did, however, pause long enough to talk Mai's ears off throughout breakfast. After her mom nearly brushed her head off her shoulders during her mini freak-out, the night before, she realized that what her cousin had told her was not mere servants' gossip. Although she was curious about what had rattled her normally imperturbable mother, seeing her in that state was unsettling to the point where she had no desire to witness it ever again.
Chai was well aware of her tendency to rabbit on; it stemmed from a handful of reasons: a defense mechanism, a method of filling awkward silences, the habit of talking to herself after growing up as an only child, and that she simply thought her own voice sounded so darn clever. But there was one other purpose for her rambling—attack. She used it against the girls who called her names at the Academy; just a couple of minutes listening to her prattle on about the virtues of tea or the elephant mandrill's natural habitat could drive her peers straight into the loving embrace of a straitjacket. No one suspected that she could be doing it intentionally and everyone within hearing range suffered.
Something about what Mai had told her had upset her mother, and that was enough to spark her vengeful streak into action. Chai had gathered from their first meeting that the other girl had an aversion to noise and excessive chatter. Her cousin was conveniently obligated to be on her best behavior in the company of adults, which meant she could neither toss her shiny little knives at her nor excuse herself from the table. She was a sitting turtle duck.
"…they're actually faster than people think, except no one really knows since they're hitched to carriages all the live long day. Someone really needs to call in the ASPCA on this."
"Chai, refrain from using nonexistent words. You'll confuse Mai," Fai admonished.
Lan smiled. "What shall we do, today?" she said to Fai. "Perhaps we can take the girls shopping. It's so lovely out."
"Well, I don't see the point of taking this one along." She tipped her head at Chai. "Since she makes a point of not wearing any of the new clothes I buy her."
Chai made a face at her mother.
"Still, there are all sorts of shops in town the girls would love," Lan said.
Mai set the half-eaten tart down on her plate. "I can't go, Mom. Ty Lee is coming over this afternoon, remember?"
"How about you, Chai? Auntie Lan will buy you something pretty to wear."
She balked at the idea of walking all over town for yet another scratchy set of robes or accessories that would only get lost within the week. "I…I'll stay here with Mai!" she blurted out. "She told me she wants to meet Ty Rhee. Lee. She says, uh, that Ty Lee and I have a lot in common. According to Mai. Ty Lee and I are practically twins! That is what Mai said."
Fai looked at her daughter with raised eyebrows that clearly stated her skepticism, but she said nothing.
Lan seemed disappointed, but her expression brightened in the next moment. "Well, in that case, Fai and I will go out shopping and bring something back for you girls."
"Mai and Ty Lee and I are going to have the best time," Chai said cheerfully. "Aren't we, cousin?"
The other girl's face had turned sour around the edges; she picked up the dessert fork and used it to spear the fruit tart.
"The best."
/
"Chai. Chai. Chaw-yee. Chai-chai!"
This had been going on for quite some time now. Mai's subtle smirk did not go unnoticed by Chai, who simply stared at the newcomer who, upon arriving, had proceeded to reiterate her name into a high-pitched garble.
Ty Lee was not the gloomy, knife-toting Mai-clone she had expected, but be that as it may she was far from Chai's twin. The pretty brunette was bubbly, athletic, and so blindingly pink. Chai wasn't sure she was capable of forming a coherent sentence.
"Chai…isn't that a drink?" Ty Lee asked.
"It means 'scorpion,' actually," Chai corrected. She drew the character in the air with her finger, but the pink girl's attention had already moved on to her other attributes.
"Your eyes are like, really blue, except greyish-blue." She leaned forward until her nose poked the surface of Chai's personal space bubble. It popped. "Pretty…"
"Um." She took a step back, but escape was no longer an option.
Ty Lee bounded forward and picked up a handful of the hair that hung wildly about her elbows. "Your hair is all shiny and red," she exclaimed, and then gently poked Chai's cheek. "And your skin looks like milk tea! As in brown but not really. Maybe that's why your name is Chai, get it?"
She did not get it.
"Do you like tea, Chai-chai?"
"I—"
"I really like orchid tea. And lily! What's your favorite flower?"
"Noth—"
"You remind me of blood poppies!" Ty Lee beamed at her expectantly.
"Thank…you…"
"Let's go inside," Mai suggested to the pink girl. "The sun is annoying."
Ty Lee continued to talk animatedly as they made their way up the stairs, but Chai was grateful to no longer be the focus of her natter. "So, Azula is, like, busy with her fancy firebending lessons, so she couldn't make it," she told Mai with a pout.
Mai shrugged; she was playing with one of her thin blades again. "It's not like we were expecting her."
"I know, but still." Ty Lee fell silent. "Oh! We can go visit her later. Who knows, she might take a break or something. And you'll get to see Zuko." She flashed a meaningful smile at her.
Chai's ears perked. Zuko. Why does that name sound so familiar?
Mai balanced the point of the knife on her fingertip, staring intently at the flat steel for a while before speaking. "I've got a fun idea."
Ty Lee cheered at the mention of fun, and began to bounce excitedly on her toes. Chai, on the other hand, sent a doubtful glance in her cousin's direction. After only a day of getting to know her, she had already gathered that anything involving Mai and Mai's idea of fun would lead to the sort of trouble her mom had warned her to steer clear of. However, the mere notion of trouble resulted in her misgivings dissolving as abruptly as they'd appeared. An impish grin stole over her face.
"Let's hear it," she said.
/
"I don't know if this is such a good idea, Mai," Ty Lee said, once they were in front of the palace.
The three girls gazed up at the colossal structure that stood before them; each girl wore a different expression on her face. Ty Lee's doe eyes were full of anxiety, while Mai donned her trademark neutrality. Chai was awestruck by the palace that easily dwarfed her cousin's mansion five times over.
"You didn't tell me Azula is the princess of the Fire Nation," she said.
Mai's bland features briefly flared with exasperation. "Do you live under a rock? No, wait. Even hermits know the names of the members of the royal family."
"Yeah, Chai-chai, it's kinda weird that you didn't know," Ty Lee chimed in.
She shrugged shamelessly. "I don't pay attention when people tell me things. Remind me again why we're here?"
"'Cause of these things." Ty Lee held up the two metal pails they'd brought along on their little field trip. Each pail was stuffed to the brim with brightly colored balloons that jiggled with pond water. "Mai wants to play a prank on Azula and Zuko, which is total suicide."
Her brow crinkled at the implications of the other girl's wording. "Is Zuko an uber-protective brother or something?"
The other girl looked perplexed. "An oobuhwha…?"
"Is he scary?"
Ty Lee snorted at that. "Who, Zuko? It's Azula you have to watch out for. She'll, like, kill us all just because."
Oh. Well. If that's all. "And we're going on this kamikaze trip, why?"
"Comma cozy?"
"Will you stop making up random words?" Mai took a pail from Ty Lee and started for the guarded palace entrance.
"Sir, yes, sir," Chai muttered, taking the other pail from Ty Lee and following suit. The pail-free pink girl skipped happily after them, forgetting that they were all embarking on a suicide mission.
"The princess is expecting us, so there's no need to announce our arrival," Mai told the guard standing to the right of the entrance. The guard cast suspicious glances at their watery cargo, but they were granted admission.
Once inside the palace walls, they questioned a maidservant who informed them that the princess was deep into her lessons and would not be available until evening. Ty Lee's relief—which was demonstrated in a flood of excited chatter—led Chai to the conclusion that they'd just narrowly escaped a terrible fate. Even Mai didn't look too broken up over their foiled plan to bombard the princess with a bucketful of water balloons. Before scurrying off to her duties, the maid disclosed that the prince, however, would be free for the entire afternoon and that he was last seen near the armory. The trio set off through the palace with new and less perilous purpose.
Chai quickly found herself out of breath as she struggled to keep up with the other girls who were clearly better acquainted with the twists and turns of the palace's labyrinthine architecture. They were also more athletic, especially Ty Lee who would casually break into cartwheels and acrobatic flips before resuming a normal walk as though she hadn't just effortlessly performed gymnastic feats without breaking a sweat. Chai would have been envious if she hadn't accepted long ago that indolence was her predominant trait.
"You know, since you're new and all, maybe you should go first," Ty Lee piped up.
She gave the girl a blank look. "What?"
"As in you get to throw the first round of balloons," she clarified. "We're almost there, by the way."
She looked at Mai uncertainly. "Is she serious? You want me to chuck water balloons at the prince of the Fire Nation."
Her cousin shrugged. "You are new," she said innocently.
Chai sighed. "Right. The beloved, age-old hazing ritual."
"What's hazing, Mai?"
"Who knows. We're here." She pointed to the turn coming up just twenty feet ahead of them.
Yes, this is possibly the dumbest thing you've ever agreed to. Just do it, okay? Chai told herself as she gripped the pail tightly, hoisting it up in preparation. The candles lining the corridor cast shadows around them, and she noticed the shadow of a fourth person advancing from the perpendicular hall. It had to be the prince. Either that or it was some poor servant waiting to be ambushed by three little girls. A flicker of pity lit under the staggering urge to attack someone with her ammunition of water balloons, but it was too late to turn back.
She dashed around the corner and blindly flung the balloons, bucket and all, at the unfortunate soul who was walking toward them, unaware of their watery fate.
/
Zuko had spent the entire morning training alone. Master Piandao had decided to take a holiday and he'd left his destination unnamed. The Fire Lord considered the art of the sword to be inferior to the range of firebending and berated him for spending too much time training with the dao swords. Azula was all too eager to bring up the precious hours he spent training outside of his lessons with Master Piandao, and so it came as a rare opportunity when his sister's day had been stacked with lessons, which would prevent her from spying on him for several hours at least. He could practice his dual swordsmanship in unadulterated solitude.
By mid-afternoon he emerged from his training and went to the armory to put the practice blades away before calling a servant to draw a bath. He left the armory with a towel perched on his shoulders and a sense of accomplishment that could only be earned through hours of backbreaking physical exertion.
He strolled down the corridor, humming a tune he'd once heard his uncle play on the tsungi horn. His daydreams of the hot bath that awaited him were interrupted by the sound of footsteps and muffled voices drifting down from the other hall. It was probably a group of servant girls talking amongst themselves, but then he heard a familiar voice. Mai?
His pace quickened and he was just moments from turning the corner when—SLAP-SLAP-SLAP-SPLOOSH.
He yelled in alarm as a barrage of unidentified objects hit him in the face and chest. Whatever they were, they were soft and yet stung upon impact and exploded into a deluge of water that smelled faintly of fish. A rainbow of color flooded his vision and something rubbery clung to his skin as the water washed over him. An attempt to leap back resulted in him slipping on the water that dripped to the floor and landing on his bottom with an undignified thud. Something metal hit him square in the forehead and bounced off, clattering to the floor beside him.
"What is the meaning of this!" he sputtered the moment his wits recovered from the shocking offense.
"Hey, you really got him!" he heard someone say. The voice unmistakably belonged to Ty Lee.
Zuko stiffened. Wherever the perky pink girl was, Azula couldn't be far off. He knew the peace couldn't last forever, but he'd hoped that his sister would be preoccupied for at least another couple of hours.
He swiped a hand across his face, scattering the colorful bits of the water balloons, and looked up into the eyes of the enemy. But it wasn't Azula or even Ty Lee.
"You!"
Chai gaped at her victim. It was none other than the jerk-faced brat who'd called her names in the old garden at the Academy. Oh…you've got to be kidding me.
"You've got to be kidding me," she blurted out. "You mean you're the prince?"
"You," Zuko repeated stupidly. "You just threw water balloons at me."
She placed her hands on her hips and glared down at him. "Well, you definitely deserved it."
"You pushed me."
"You deserved that, too."
Zuko scrambled to his feet and jabbed a finger at her. "You monstrous girl," he shouted. "How did you get into the palace?!"
"Your girlfriend let me in," she said disdainfully.
He looked over her shoulder at the giggling duet that stood with their shoulders shaking merrily in the lambent candlelight. It was with a sudden shock that he realized he'd never seen Mai laugh so hard. She'd smiled and even snickered at times, but he was now witness to poorly concealed guffaws from the normally reserved girl. It made him realize something important…he must look incredibly stupid right now.
"I'll have you punished for trespassing," he barked, cheeks flushed red and water trickling from his clothes and hair. This was not the bath he'd had in mind.
"Um, news flash: I'm a guest of your sister's best friends," Chai said slowly. "And from what I hear, your sister is the head honcho around these parts. You have no say in the matter, your royal drippiness." She spun on her heel and was prepared to leave him in her triumphant prankster dust when she heard him mutter something under his breath.
"Tubby monster."
Zuko was on the floor before he could blink. His first thought was that his tailbone was probably bruised beyond the ability to sit down comfortably for the next few days. His line of vision filled with the arctic hue of a pair of eyes that flashed with ferocity. An angry expletive caught in his throat and expired, never to be voiced. For an odd moment he imagined seeing a crimson gleam in those grey-blue eyes, but it was only a reflection of the red décor that surrounded them.
"Never," Chai growled, bending at the waist to poke him in the chest, "ever call a girl tubby. Or anyone for that matter. Not even if they are tubby!"
At this point, the other two girls had ceased their merriment and were watching her with a mixture of curiosity and unease.
"You are butt-brain," she shouted at the stunned boy. "You have big fleshy butts all over your mind!"
Everyone stared mutely at her ridiculous outburst, but she was too far gone to stop.
"And they fart giant clouds of smelly butt gas, and your tiny brain absorbs all of it like a sponge, and then every time you try to think a thought that isn't completely stupid all that it squeezes out is farts! From the butts that grow all over your brain."
In an unprecedented show of maturity it was Ty Lee who slipped her arm around Chai's, and tugged gently. "Maybe we should go," she suggested softly, as though she were a hiker attempting to soothe a startled bear.
Chai seemed to realize where she was and whom she had just attacked and berated. One look at the prince's face made her want to slug him hard, but it was a smart time to leave and she knew it. "Yeah," she said, her eyes still riveted on Zuko's face. He gawked back at her, clearly outraged but too dumbfounded to do anything about it. "We can go now."
Mai lingered behind as the girls retreated from the corridor. "That's my cousin," she told Zuko who had yet to utter a single word. "And you did deserve it." Then she smiled at him, this time without spite or ill-intent, and tossed something at him. Red silk flopped over his face. When he pulled the handkerchief away from his face, she was gone.
/
"I can't believe you called the prince of the Fire Nation a butt-brain," Ty Lee cackled, still somehow managing to sound girlish instead of crone-like. "The look on his face was priceless!"
They had arrived back at Mai's house and stood in front of the gates, discussing their successful prank. The showdown between Chai and Zuko had left the second pail of water balloons unused, and the girls spent the short walk tossing them at random. This time around their victims were mostly rocks and roadside weeds.
"Once I get worked up, it's almost impossible to get me to stop," Chai said sheepishly. She ran her hands through her hair before stretching her arms back overhead, and yawned loudly. The afternoon's shenanigans had drained most of her energy, leaving her shoulders hunched and eyelids heavy.
"Tell me about it," Mai remarked. "Or don't, actually."
"You didn't tell me your boyfriend really is the prince," Chai said. "I still don't get why you like him." She was too exhausted to even flinch at her cousin's evil eye.
"He's not my boyfriend."
"What are you talking about?" Ty Lee exclaimed; she turned to Chai. "They're totally sweethearts. It's so cute." She bent over backwards with a panicked squeak as a blade shot through the space her face had occupied less than a second ago. "Time to go," she said hastily. "It was sparkly to meet you, Chai-chai!"
Fai and Lan came up the road as Ty Lee turned to leave, and exchanged greetings with the girl before sending her on her way. The other two girls waited for their mothers to reach the gates.
"Did you girls have a nice time?" Lan called out, once they were within earshot.
The girls bobbed their heads in affirmation.
"Did you discover you have much in common with your long lost twin?" Fai asked her daughter, eyebrow quirked.
"She's..." Chai searched for the proper word. "Sparkly."
Her mother smiled and patted her hair. "I'm sure she was."
Lan did the same with Mai, whose lips thinned into a discontented grimace. She didn't notice. "Did you girls behave yourselves?"
Chai froze and looked at her cousin; their gazes met in a silent interchange.
"We went down to the river and picked flowers," Mai said.
Lan glanced at the girls' empty hands. "I don't see flowers," she noted, puzzled.
"We, uh, we put them down when we stopped to take a break on our way back," Chai supplied. "And then we accidentally forgot to pick them back up. Right, Mai?"
Fai gave her daughter a look. The 'I know you're full of it' look.
"Right," Mai said. "We forgot them."
"Well, that's a shame," Lan said sympathetically. "But you'll cheer up when you see the goodies we found at the shops!" She rummaged through her shopping basket and produced a pearl and silver hairpin; she tucked the pin behind one of Mai's hair bun and stood back, clapping her hands in delight. "Perfect."
"Very lovely," Fai told her niece.
It seemed to Chai that her cousin didn't look particularly thrilled at the gift, and was worried that she would receive something similar from her own mother. "What did you get me for me, Mom?" she asked.
She held the basket away from the girl's reach. "You'll find out later."
"I'd better go check on dinner," Lan said, starting for the house. Her sister-in-law fell into step beside her, and they chatted about what produce was currently in season. The girls followed close behind.
"So, today was fun," Chai said quietly. "Good idea, cousin."
Mai gave her an odd look. "I told you we're not cousins."
"I remember," she replied. "But I feel like we're cousins."
The other girl said nothing.
"Did you have fun?" she asked.
Still nothing. She sighed internally as they crossed the curtilage and went up the staircase.
"You still talk too much."
She swiveled her head around to look at Mai who looked straight ahead. Another minute passed in silence, but she grinned the whole time.
"I know, right?"
They glanced at each other and looked away in the same moment. A sense of déjà vu hovered over them, bringing them back to the previous day when they first met. The atmosphere was different now, less rocky if not entirely congenial. It was highly unlikely that they would close the evening with braiding each other's hair and trading gossip, but Chai had expected that and she was more than okay with the way things were now. Tolerable. That was the word for it.
"So, did you check out Ty Lee with that crazy dodge? It was totally Matrix."
"I'm just going to ignore you whenever you start talking nonsense. Or just whenever."
"Come on, it was pretty schway. I couldn't have dodged that in a million years."
"I'll keep that in mind."
"What happened to your knife anyway?"
"Who cares."
/
Chai and her mother set out early the next morning, their carriage loaded with fresh fruits and pastries that they had accepted upon her aunt's insistence. She realized somewhere along the return trip that she still hadn't received the gift she'd been promised the other afternoon, but she decided against bringing it up. Once it was just her and Fai in the carriage, the mood had turned strangely still; it was unlike the usual banter or comfortable silence they traveled to.
A familiar figure stood outside the house to greet them when the carriage pulled up. She noticed the individual as she stepped down from the carriage and nearly tripped into the dirt as she gaped in disbelief.
No way. It's a whole week early. Oh, whatever.
She whooped and broke into a run.
"Dad!"
/
A/N: Thanks to Rumpologist, ElizaBethJacksonPotter, sunflower13, and xXRosexScorpiusXx for the reviews.
To address the plothole of Chai's only child status, there was an earlier draft that didn't work out and so I left it open ended. There will probably be many plotholes as the story progresses. Sometimes weird things happen and no one addresses them. Just something to look forward to.
P.S. Rumpologist: Cat Zumba is a go. Let me get my afro wig and pajama-suit ready. Also, bearsbearsbears.