Chapter 24

"That's… that's… No." List was shaking her head as she slowly backed away from the woman that had just thrown her world upside down. "It's twisted, you can't do that to people. He doesn't care about me! He's never done anything but hurt me!"

Angie just let her rant. This was one possible outcome of giving her this type of information. Jackson had never divulged this to her but it seemed a necessary thing. If he was going to leave her mind intact, she needed to know exactly where she stood in the world. The only one that could save Lisa's life now was Lisa. No one else could do it for her. She would have to willingly become a part of this world at some point and the only way she could become a part of it was to understand it. This conversation was just the beginning of her understanding. She waited for Lisa to stop talking. She also waited to see if she was going to bolt. When she just stood there in a state of near hyperventilation, Angie selectively responded to Lisa's accusations.

"I never said he cared about you. I'll be honest; the only person Jackson has or ever will care about is Jackson. He's a sociopath. It's as simple as that." Lisa's posture and expression didn't change. It seems she'd already deduced that. "Let me tell you something about Jackson. He and I used to be lovers except it's hard to be a lovers when one of the two of you is incapable of that emotion."

"You and Jack…" Lisa began incredulously. She started shaking her head. This new information obviously confused her.

"We don't have to acquire birds for companionship. We can also choose from amongst company employees. It's just a rare thing for two people in this line of work to be compatible with one another. Jackson and I were not the exception to that rule. Hell, we were the norm as it obviously didn't work out." Angie studied her shell-shocked companion for a moment before continuing. "Do you know why it didn't work out between us?"

Lisa barely shook her head and whispered out, "No." She was still having trouble digesting this new information.

"He didn't love me. Compassion, love, sympathy… any of those strong emotions most of us feel, intimidation like you're feeling right now, he doesn't understand because he has no frame of reference. Sure, he's not emotionless but the ones he does posses... well let's just say that most people don't exactly find them desirable." Angie looked up at the canopy above them and tried to figure out how long they'd been out here. "He's missing something that most of us have. You don't have to be an expert in psychology to figure that one out. It's what makes him marvelous at what he does though." She stood from her leaning position and took a step in Lisa's direction. When Lisa didn't make a move to keep the distance between them, she continued. "It's what makes him a better person than me in the end." The expected confused look from her audience member let her know she was saying the right things. "Think about it. You have two people. One who has a working, albeit skewed, moral compass and the other with one that never points north? Who's more to blame, the person that has the ability to know better and may even feel guilty about it from time to time or the guy who does it because it just feels natural to do so?" Angie let that sink in for a moment.

"Then why do you do it?" Angie mentally congratulated herself. She had Lisa thinking about someone else now instead of Jackson.

Angie shrugged. "I'm good at it, the money is really good and I get a rush out of it most of the time." Lisa had started to shake her head again and tears were coming to her eyes. "It's hard for someone like you to understand, I know that, but it's the truth."

Lisa's eyes hardened for the first time that day. It was the first time she'd gotten angry. "Hard for someone like me to understand?" She actually took a step toward Angie. "It should be hard for anyone to even comprehend killing other people for a living." She took a deep breath and took another unconscious step. "I've seen the kinds of people you kill. I've seen you kill mothers and children. I've seen you kill family members in some of the worst ways imaginable. No one should 'understand' that sort of thing."

"Maybe, but I do." Angie held her ground.

"I…"

"Hundreds of thousands of people have understood it. You're finding it despicable doesn't mean it's going to stop happening. There will always be people out there that will take advantage of others. Sometimes it's as simple as not telling a store clerk when they've made a mistake in your favor. Other times it's telling a person a lie so they get what they want. Sometimes it's killing your competitors to stay on top. Sometimes its hurting the ones we love so we can hide from them what we don't want to see in ourselves. We are what we are Lisa. Humans can be amazing creatures but in the end they are simply animals. Every living thing's natural inclination is to get just a little farther ahead. The trees above us grow large, wide canopies to keep the sunlight from getting to the ground, starving out potential competitors. Lions will kill cheetah cubs and the mother's if they can catch them to help ensure that more of their available food sources go into their stomachs. You can't point to a single animal or plant on this planet that doesn't strangle, fight or just plain kill their competitors in order to make god damn sure that they survive and the other guy doesn't. Humans aren't above this. They try but the ones that try the hardest to fight against that natural inclination are the ones most likely to be taken out. If you don't fight, you die. And to be honest, I'd rather be the big tree that made it to the top than the sapling that starved without the light."

Lisa just stood there. All forward momentum had stopped; the anger hadn't been able to keep a foothold in her mind. The entirely more comforting sort of hopelessness started to crawl back into the pit of her stomach and it left her feeling numb. They stood in silence and the sounds of the jungle swirled around them. Angie was feeling rather good about how this had progressed. It was the first time since she'd learned of Jackson's unorthodox plan for this woman that she thought she might survive. That sentiment was only strengthened when Lisa finally broke the silence.

"Is Derek happy?" It was little more than a whisper and her line of sight drifted to the forest floor.

Angie quickly switched gears. The time for brutal honesty and skewed life lessons was at an end; it was time for the compassion angle.

"Oh Lisa." She took a few tentative steps toward the broken woman. "He is. I truly think he is. But it's not the same thing. I'm not even going to try to put myself in your shoes."

"I just don't know how much more of this I can take." Tears trickled down her cheeks. "It's so hard just to move. I hate him so much."

"I know you do." Another step. "But you are strong enough to bare it."

"Strong!" She began to visibly shake. "I'm not strong! I let him… touch me. I don't even fight it. I just let him do it."

"That doesn't mean you're weak Lisa." Another step. "It means you're a survivor. Anyone who has been able to take what you have is strong. You've done everything to protect the ones you love. You've scarified your own life for theirs. Can you think of anything that takes more courage, more strength?" Another step.

"I…"

Angie cut her off. She didn't want to take the chance that the woman would deny what she'd just said. Better to keep driving the point home.

"I've met an unbelievable number of people Lisa, of every sort you can imagine but I haven't met anyone like you." She reached out to lightly grasp Lisa's tightly clasped hands. "You could have given up a long time ago but you didn't. It wasn't weakness but strength that kept you moving." Lisa didn't pull away from her touch. She just stood there, shaking with silent tears streaming out of her eyes. "You need to understand this. I don't know what's going to happen in the future but what I see right now is someone who can survive it."

It actually took Angie a bit by surprise when Lisa suddenly lunged for her. She almost mistook the action for an attack, it was only natural for her to assume as much but Lisa wasn't attacking her. She had grabbed her and was now clinging to her as though her life depended on it. Angie relaxed a split second after being embraced and expertly returned it.

"Shhh." She soothed as she rubbed small circles into the weeping woman's back. After a year with no one but Jackson constantly torturing her, Angie shouldn't have been surprised this would happen. It's what she'd been going for after all but she had underestimated its force. Lisa was desperate for anything that was even remotely friendly. So desperate that she forgot that she was holding onto this woman like she was a life support despite the fact what she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was capable of the same horrible manipulations and perverse crimes that Jackson also perpetrated on a regular basis. It seemed that any amount of expressed compassion was enough from which to derive desperately needed comfort. She cried on the killer-for-hire's shoulder for almost an hour before she contritely pulled herself away.

"I'm sorry about that, I don't know what came over me." Lisa apologized.

'I do.' Angie thought to herself before touching the other woman's cheek comfortingly. "You can do this." She said in an almost cheerleader sort of way. Inwardly she rolled her eyes but it had the desired effect. She watched as Lisa squared her shoulders and took a deep breath. Before she had a chance to think too much about what had just taken place, Angie broke the silence.

"You want to go back or see where this path takes us?"

Lisa hesitated for only a moment before gesturing to the path in front of them.

XxX

AN:

Thank you to everyone who read and a huge thanks to everyone who took the time to post a review. I'm glad to be back and I hope to not go so long between updates again. While I try to not post short chapters, it's going to happen from time to time though I've typically had shorter chapters throughout this fic. I'll blame the fact that this piece doesn't have many characters or action. I also apologize for typos. So often I read right over obvious typos as though my brain is purposely trying to make me look foolish but I'll try to be more diligent about them in the future. I'm also trying very hard to correct a bad habit in my writing: character mind jumping. If you see it, I'd love to have it pointed out to me. Sorry for the long author's note. I'll try to keep them shorter in the future.

Also, sorry for the sudden, rapid fire updates to this chapter. And I am sorry for the how much I'm apologizing lately. :)