A/N Okay, so this chapter is Noodle's POV
It starts right at the end of El Mañana and carries on up to the point when Noodle finds herself in Hell and her initial reaction to it.
Hope you enjoy… or not…
"We live in a shockingly beautiful world. We are walking through the living kingdom of heaven every day; the colours, the sound, the love of others, the potential to create, the plants, wildlife, nature, music, all sensations and life … but if we refuse to see colour and beauty we may as well be in Hell. Maybe an animated band was the best way of announcing this." Noodle, Guitarist of Gorillaz
Four years earlier…
That's when this whole mess began. There I was, Murdoc-san had told me about his plans for El Mañana, and I figured that this was the perfect time for me to make my escape and leave the celebrity scene for a while. Get out and relax without people overreacting when they catch a glimpse of me. But… then it all went to Hell… literally.
It was all going as I'd planned at first. I felt bad that I had not told 2D-kun or Russel-sama about my plans for my departure, or how I intended to fake my death to be able to get out without being stopped. If they knew, especially 2D-kun, I knew that if he asked me to stay with him, I couldn't refuse… I had been packed up and my things were left waiting for me at Kong. Now I was scared out of wits end as my life was coming to a stop –permanently –and my floating island was shot down. At least, I was acting like that was my current situation anyways.
Now that the cameras were no longer focused on me, I followed Murdoc-san's earlier instructions on parachuting to safety. I went toward the window quickly, but I tripped over my feet and scraped my knee, smearing some of my blood onto the floor. With a hiss, I rushed to the glass window and opened it up. As I pulled myself halfway through, a small part of my hair was caught, so I yanked it loose, losing a couple of strands. I put on my helmet, buckling it, and jumped out as far as I could, tugging on the release for my parachute, and I heard it come free, opening up to catch me as the air flowed through it.
As I floated away, my eyes were filled with pain. I was losing the very essence of my childhood –my island. It meant so much to me, but I guess it was time to move on. I needed a break, and now was my only chance to do so. As soon as I was safe and had grounded, I unhooked my 'chute and watched as it the powerful wind stole it and began to carry it toward my island. I saw it catch fire as the explosion went off, and the parachute, I realised, was surely among the wreckage and debris. I stared at the scene vacantly for a moment, then turned tail as I realised the crew would be nearby soon to survey the damage.
Murdoc-san had rented me a small helicopter to fly myself to Kong and make a quick escape after the video had been shot. Obviously, I could operate it, but I was hesitant. Once I was home… No, before then… it was too late already. The decision had been made. I had to do this. There was no more turning back. It had to be done. I needed to leave.
I kept looking back as I neared the studio atop the landfill, unable to fully comprehend what I was doing. I maneuvered to land softly on the roof of Kong, and disconnected the power to turn the flying machine off. Taking the key out of the ignition and putting it in my pocket, I opened the heavy door and hopped out, drowning in the death-filled air that was my home for the passed five years. Letting out a breath I hadn't realised I was holding, I walked towards and opened the door on the roof, making my way to my bedroom. I saw that there were only a couple more items left to be boxed and my room was filled with the cardboard beasts, but I didn't care if they were taken or not. I had virtually no use for them. And I found it to be a little eerie that the only box company I could get was called DedEx.
The only things left that I would not leave behind were my music, and my Les Paul. In a hurry now, I grabbed my guitar and placed it gently in its case, locking it shut hastily. I grabbed my CD's, iPod, headphones, and put them into my rucksack. I grabbed my suitcase that held my toiletries and clothing, and other essential items, and I went down to the car park. Murdoc-san never allowed me into his winnebago, but he made an exception for today, telling me to put the key to the helicopter under his pillow, which is exactly what I did.
As soon as I exited, I looked toward 2D-kun's bedroom. I wanted more than anything to be able to hold him close and tell him goodbye. To tell him we'd always be best friends and that I'd come back for him, and everyone else one day. I wanted to leave behind a letter, explaining why I had left them in such a devastating manner and not even telling them I was truly alive. Russel-sama and 2D-kun were probably losing they're minds right now –what was left for 2D-kun anyways - and looking for me amongst the wreckage. I wanted to leave behind something so they knew I was okay, but I could not. If 2D-kun let word out that I was alive and well, my plans may be ruined. It would be okay if he and the others said there was a possibility of my survival, but if everyone knew I was truly alive, I'd be spotted much too soon.
Still, how could I leave him and Russel-sama in such a manner? How cruel of me. I've never meant to hurt them, and yet here I was, running away without so much as a goodbye. Without realising it, I had unconsciously wandered into 2D-kun's room. I sat on his bed one last time and stroked the soft sheets. I sniffed as I looked around, taking in the last time in a long while I would see this room. It smelled of cigarettes, strong medication, and butterscotch, but it was a comforting smell that told me I was safe. It had worked its way into becoming a pleasant odor since that very first night I'd spent in here with 2D-kun. We hadn't known what the other of us was saying, but we had somehow managed to communicate and understand each other well.
I just sat on his bed for the longest time as silent tears crawled down my cheeks and made my hair stick to my face uncomfortably, so I brushed my fringe from my eyes –a style I didn't wear often, anymore. I wanted so badly to at least leave him something, anything that would let him know I was okay.
Finally, something had come to mind. I never wanted to part with something so dear to me, but I figured he may need it more than myself. I had more reminders and pictures anyhow, but this one was the most cherished. We'd all looked so happy when it was taken. It was lovely. I pulled it out of my suitcase quickly, and examined it. 2D-kun was smiling his gapped-toothed smiled, his arm wrapped around my back while I hugged his side and rested my head against him, smiling widely at the camera. Right behind 2D, Russel-sama had one hand rested on 2D's shoulder, on the opposite side I was; he was wearing a pleasant smile. Murdoc-san wasn't touching any of us, but he stood just behind me, with his arms crossed over his chest, and a rather impish smile on his face. It was a very special picture to me, but I knew it would be better for 2D-kun, to have something pleasant to remember me by.
I placed the picture on 2D's bed with great care, just where I knew he would notice it. As I looked at it one more time, I shut my eyes tightly, and tears once again began to escape down my face, leaving the skin hot, but cold when the air touched it. I wiped away the offending wetness, but I could not stop the whimper that escaped my throat. I grabbed my possessions, then turned and left the room before I had the chance to completely break down.
I walked at a rather slow pace, taking in all I could of my home before I had to depart and leave it all behind, for another day perhaps. I made one last stop to the loo to pull my hair back and pulled on my cap, with some of my hair sticking out the back. I pulled on a pair of sunglasses and put my jacket on. As soon as I was satisfied that no one would recognize me too easily, I once again grabbed my things and left my home on the top of the landfill that was Kong Studios. I made a mad dash to the gate and squeezed through it, walking towards the taxi I had phoned to come and pick me up. As soon as I was seated inside, I gave him directions to the nearest airport –almost an hour away. While he drove, I checked my map. I was being allowed to use the plane we'd used on our last tour; it's not like we could keep the plane in the landfill. Murdoc-san had even hired a temporary pilot that had no clue as to who the Gorillaz were, but he knew where he was expected to take his soon-to-be passenger.
I held in my hand the credit card Murdoc-san had also given me for while I was gone, but I panicked when I realised I'd left my wallet behind and mentally slapped myself when I realised I had left it in a small hole in the wood frame underneath my bed, a place where no one knew of but myself. I sighed, knowing at least I had the damn card on me. I wanted to turn around, but we'd already been driving for five minutes, and as soon as I looked up I saw the Gorillaz' tour bus driving by insanely fast. Murdoc-san was probably driving. With a sigh, I turned around to face forward in my seat, and I pulled out my iPod, popping an earphone in and turning it on to listen to my music whilst I waited for this agonizing drive to come to an end.
… … … … … …
I spent the next five months in the Maldives, mostly relaxing on the beach, glad that no one recognized me, and I was never bothered, except by the occasional courter admiring my bathing-suit covered body. That really got on my nerves after a couple of times, but other than the occasional annoyance, I was enjoying myself thoroughly. But I missed the hustle and bustle of the everyday living my odd family brought to me. I missed 2D-kun's wild imagination, and the constant bickering of Murdoc-san… I even missed the constant eye Russel always had on me.
After a long day of doing nothing, it was nice to either go for a swim, a climb, or just sit on the beach and let the sun's rays caress me in a blanket of warmth. Hai, life had been very good for me, but I had felt very lonely, and my soul longed to play music with my bandmates –to create beautiful and upbeat melodies that fed the very deepest parts of my soul. I wanted it back, and I was planning on returning soon. As the loneliness settled in… I knew my decision was made.
When I'd returned to my hotel room, I was quite worn out, but comfortable being as I was at the center of the Maldives, and my room was slightly chilly. As soon as I'd locked the door, I packed up my belongings again, like I had been doing everyday since I had arrived. I don't know why I did this. Maybe, subconsciously, my mind was making sure that I remembered that I had to return one day. I had tags on my bags that had the address of Kong on them, just in case they were lost.
After I was packed again, I called the pilot that had originally flown me here and asked him to fly me back to the sweet UK, which he agreed to without fuss. Knowing he'd be here by morning, and the fact that it was almost nightfall, I decided to rest for tomorrow. I wanted to have the energy for a happy reunion that was sure to await me.
I changed into my nightwear and crawled under the thin covers of my bed. I was too tired to sleep, if that makes any sense, so I turned on my radio and listened to the soothing music. I smiled as I drifted off to dreamland when Tomorrow Comes Today started to play.
Twenty-two hours later I found myself looking through the gates of the landfill leading up towards Kong Studios. I could feel my entire body jittering with anticipation, and my stomach was doing flips, which had me feeling nauseous, but overwhelmingly excited. I could not wait to see the faces of my beloved family. I was overjoyed to have the chance to see Russel-sama –my papa. I was even happy to get to see Murdoc-san again –he was like my crazy, delusional uncle. I was most delighted to be allowed to see the face of 2D-kun. I missed him so much while I was away, and I was scared that he would be mad for leaving without goodbye, but also that he may not have missed me as much as I did him. I knew I had nothing to worry over, however, because he'd always promised we would always be best friends, no matter how much he screwed up, or how often I got annoyed at him, because we would always brush it off and leave it behind us.
If he ever made upset me –like the time he made my Tamagotchi pet die again - he would always crack a joke, or do something like smile widely, and then he would hug me close no matter how much I struggled to get loose, and then he would say, "Aw, I'm real sowwy, Noodle-love. Will y'fo'give me?" If I was ever silent for a moment, he would say, "I'll be yo' bes' friend." Which usually made me laugh, but if that didn't work, he would pout his lip, then crack a smirk and tickle me until I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe, and he wouldn't stop until I said, "Okay, 2D-kun. I forgive you." Then he would smile earnestly and hug me close again. "Aw. Fank yew, Noodle-love."
I smiled at the memories while I made my way to the entrance of Kong as fast as I could with my baggage in hand. I was lucky enough that I had my key in my pocket, and got inside quickly. I snuck to my bedroom –taking the stairs –and dropped my stuff in my wardrobe, thankful that Shaun was asleep. Once I left my room, then began my search for Russel-sama, but I was confused when he wasn't in his room. Maybe he was in the kitchen. I decided to look for him later, and I took the lift this time to go down to the car park to find Murdoc-san. I walked toward his winnebago, and knocked on the door. When there was no answer, I knocked harder, to no avail. I pressed my ear against the metal, but heard no sound inside. There wasn't even any drunken snoring. Again confused, I turned and walked toward 2D-kun's bedroom, the most cherished place of my childhood.
I opened the door without knocking, and expected him to be either sleeping, playing pong, or watching a zombie flick, but what my eyes met shocked me to the point that I almost heaved.
Empty. He wasn't here. Nobody was here… but where could they have gone… Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted 2D-kun's laptop, opened and still on. I walked toward it and bent down to see what was on the screen. I easily identified it as a calender, and a very vacant one. I pointed to each day so I could focus on it more clearly, and I followed my finger to a particular day, labeled as a day in which the band was scheduled to have an interview… That was today.
Of course it was today. Why wouldn't it be today? Of all the days in the year, I had to decide to come home on this particular one. I looked back toward the screen with a scowl and read that it was scheduled to end… 10 minutes ago. My eyebrows perked up, though I was still frowning. They should be home in half an hour. With my excitement washing up again, though not as much as before, I closed the offensive technological-plastic and left the room.
I went toward the lift again, planning on staying in the lobby until they got back, but as I heard the lift come nearer, the entire car park began to get cold to a point where I started to shiver. That was when I knew something was wrong. I expected to make my escape in the lift once it reached me, but what happened next took my breath away.
I looked around in a panic and ran for the door of the lift, slamming my fists against the metal, hoping it would make the lift go faster, but pulled my hands back with a hiss when the door was too cold for words. When examining my situation once more, my heart pounded ferociously, and faltered when I saw him behind me, the Demon Boy. How had he known I was here, and more importantly… why was he suddenly so interested in me? After a moment, he grinned widely and evilly with a gruesome laugh. Suddenly I couldn't feel myself anymore. Everything went numb, then fuzzy, and then black as I fell forward onto my knees, and then further –hitting my head on the metal floor of the lift as it had opened.
When I became conscious again, something felt… not right. It was so hot and dry around me. I felt like I should be burning, and before I had passed out… I was hungry… but now I felt… nothing. Suddenly I remembered what had happened before I had passed out, and I sat up, gasping for breath. The air was unbelievably dry and carried with it the most overpowering essence of death. I looked around and grew more terrified with each second that had passed. As I stood and looked around, I realised wherever I was, it was enclosed. It looked and felt like the inside of a volcano, but so much hotter. I couldn't really tell where I was, but knew I was on some sort of a cliff; I could see the edge. I ripped off my sleeves and pushed my fringe out of my face. All around where I looked, the light seemed like cast from fire, but I could not see any from where I was. I stepped toward the edge and the sight I beheld almost made me convulse for breath, and I held my hand to my mouth to keep from screaming bloody murder.
There, down there, was the most frightening sight any mortal would ever lay eyes upon. Down there, in the dark, red-hot abyss was the scolding hot ash floating all around the lake of fire. I had only heard of this horribly, nightmarish place from mere tales of myth, but I had never –even in my worst nightmares –actually believed this place was real… was tangible. I fell back with a gasp, but crawled back towards the edge to look around, to try and find an escape, but it was immediately distinguishable that escaping would not be a likely possibility. My eyes wide, and my mouth agape, I felt the sudden urge of thirst. I made the stupid choice of letting my eyes wander downward again, and felt my heart pound harder and faster with each second.
They were everywhere. Demons: horrible to look at, and more unholy than anything imaginable. They were all dark creatures… just silhouettes, but they were there, and they all had ferocious and pointed teeth, but the most vivid part of them, besides their menacing overall appearance, was their eyes. Unlike anything anyone had ever seen. Sure, one may have seen pictures of creatures or other people with glowing red eyes, but the eyes on these creatures; it was like you could feel the want in them –the want to harm you in any and every way possible. You, no matter if you were innocent or not, if you were unfortunate enough to end up in Hell, they would be here, waiting to torture you with every mean possible. That was what they wished -for you, a creature made in God's image –to be tortured with no hope of escape, and they found the upmost wicked satisfaction in this.
Everywhere, I could see the souls of those long lost, being beaten, tortured, forced to watch as their loved ones were tortured as well. Everywhere there was pain and there was suffering. There was no joy -no hope. I could feel it being sucked out of everything around me, even myself, and evaporating into nothingness. The most frightening part was that, no matter how long you'd been tortured, and how close to death you should be –as the souls were already dead –it would never end. Not even death was an escape, for it had already happened, and it had left you here.
Realising my situation, and my decided fate into this horrible and nightmarish abyss, I did the only thing I was capable of doing. My body pulled me to this. I was no longer in control. I saw as my arms reached up and my hands clamped tightly on both sides of my head. I was on my knees, leaning forward and slouching.
In all of the pain and screaming around me, the next sound I heard was the most potent and heartbreaking of them all. As I trembled in fear and involuntarily sucked in a deep breath, full of dusty raunchy air, I felt as it pushed its way out of my lungs in the most painful and excruciating way as I pulled my body in a tight ball and the siren of my scream filled the whole of Hell, feeding into the death and decay that had been here since the beginning of time itself. I screamed in pain, in fear, in death. It was futile. It pierced my ears and gave me a migraine. My eyes were watering and I was sobbing through the painful screams that scraped my lungs again and again, and I could not control it. I was panicked and did not know what else to do.
"I want to go home!"
On the cloud of unknowing
My world seems open
Every satellite up here is watching
But I was here from the very start
Trying to find a way to your heart
All the days are forgetting
They've gone out with the tide
Lost at sea somewhere, waiting
Like setting suns at the rodeo
Trying to find someone you'll never know
Oh, sinking love
On the cloud of unknowing
Every satellite up here is watching
Waiting to see what the morning brings
May bring sunshine on it's wings