Author's Note:
Thank you so much for the feedback. I'm glad you guys are liking this story. Remember this story departs from GH History right after Lila is born, she does make it and things take a twist from there to pave the way for my little tale. I know it's weird to see Sam as a "good girl" in this story. But hang in there, I do have a plan and going by the replies some of you have actually nailed it. To reward you for this Sam centric chapter, next update Liason meet again after 5 years... Hope you enjoy!
3 Sam's Secret
After lunch and ice cream, the Morgan Family went for a walk in the park. Soon Jason was pushing Lila high on the swings, while Sam looked on from the bench at the other side. Lila had been so excited, letting Jason know everything that happened during her first day of school.
"The classroom was so big! The toys are all brand new and the girls are very nice… There was a very pretty mommy there, but her little boy was a brat. I don't like him one bit."
Seeing Jason and Lila together made Sam smile. They belonged together. A sad look overcame her then, when she realized that she couldn't deny them their happiness by taking her away. Not now…
"Mama!" Lila ran towards Sam excitedly. "Let's go. Daddy says he has the day off. And Uncle Sonic said we could go out on his boat with Kristina, Mickey and Morgan."
Lila started to pull on her hand and Sam smiled even though she was feeling very good. Jason noticed her pale face and the dark circles under her eyes, but stayed quiet.
Sam took her time getting up and once she was standing she rocked back a bit. Jason frowned and held her up. Something had been wrong with Sam for a few months now. He was never one to pry into other people's business but it was time to confront her, for their daughter's well being.
Elizabeth sat at the counter of the family dinner, her books sprawled all over. Sitting at her side, Cameron was drawing on a small sketchpad. She stopped writing for a moment and looked up to watch her son. He was all grown up, already starting school, so independent…
"Need more coffee?"
The sweet voice of the older woman broke her train of thought and Elizabeth smiled up meeting the hazel green eyes of Kathy.
"No. I'm good, thanks."
"I see you are almost done."
"Only two more exams and it will be over." A triumphant smile appeared on her face.
"Soon well have to call you Doctor Webber. Doesn't sound too shabby, does it?" The kind older woman winked at her.
"You keep calling me that and I still expect to turn around and find my father or my brother behind me. It feels as if you were talking about someone else."
"But it's going to be you, you've done it on your own."
As Kathy moved from behind the counter and into the dinning room to serve the other patrons Elizabeth was transported to another time and place.
"Right, on your own."
"But it turns out, that's not really what I meant… When I said by myself, what I mean is… By myself with you."
She was taken aback as the words came rolling into her mind. Shaking her head she speaks under her breath. "I'm definitely losing it."
"Losing what?" Cameron asked looking up and racing and inquisitive brow, just like his mother.
"Nothing babe. I was just thinking out loud." Running a hand through his curls and turning on her stool to face him, she asks him. "So, what did you think about school?"
He takes a sip from his chocolate milkshake and nods. "It was nice. I liked the teacher and most of my classmates. Well all of them, besides that pinky baby."
Elizabeth smile fades and she looks seriously at her son. "Cameron."
"What?"
"I wanted to talk to you about that. I was very disappointed in you today."
He looks up at her and blinked. "Why?"
"Because of the way that you acted towards Lila Morgan, that's why."
"What do you mean? She was the one being a baby… I didn't do…"
"Cameron Alexander." She warned him.
"Well she was. I don't like her mom. I won't be friends with her, you can't make me."
"I wont make you be her friend. But I will ask you to at least learn to tolerate her and respect her."
"But…"
"No buts Cam, from tomorrow on. I want you to be the civil, kind, respectful boy you've always been."
"O-kaaaay…"
He bent his head and resumed his drawing with out further discussion. And she went back to studying.
Sam made her way into the kitchen carefully. She took a glass of water and downed the pills and waited a while to go back to the living room. The dizziness, headaches and nausea had been getting worst the past few days. She wasn't sure she could keep her secret much longer. Soon it would start to show. How was she going to deal with the questions and the looks? How was she going to face Jason with the truth?
The ringing of her cell phone brought her back to reality. She smiled looking at the caller ID.
"Hi."
"Hey, honey. How are you?" He asked with concern.
"Fine."
"Is it safe to talk?"
"Yes. I'm alone."
"You are not feeling well, are you?"
"How do you always do that?" She asks leaning her back into the wall.
"Do what?"
"Read me like an open book."
"Because I know you better than anyone, and I love you more than anyone." He answered truthfully.
Her eyes filled with tears at his words. "I- I love you too…"
"Baby what's wrong?" He frowned at the break in her voice.
"It's just that this is so unfair." A tear rolled down her cheeks.
"Come on honey, don't think about that. I'm not going anywhere."
"But you should. You should bail… I'm going to…"
"Don't Sam. Don't even say those words. We promised we wouldn't think about that."
"I'm sorry. I just can't help it. In days like this I feel like I can't go on. If it wasn't for Lila… For You… I would have given up a long time ago."
Grabbing his keys he made his way to the door. "I'm coming to get you. We'll spend the rest of the day together. A little dinner and a whole lot of cuddling."
"I can't. Jason and Lila will be back soon. I can't leave."
He stopped just as he was putting his jacket on. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah. But it does sound good. I will have to dream about having your arms around me."
"I'll see you in my dreams then… But for now, I will keep my original plan and babysit for the night."
She smiled. "I met him today."
"How did that go?"
"He and Lila seem to disliked each other instantly. Elizabeth and I are going to be doing the first bake sale together."
"So I guess you've just put your little plan in motion." He said with a disapproving tone.
"I know you don't really approve. But I know this is what's meant to be."
"Right, women's intuition and all. Who am I to disagree? Let it go on record that you and Elizabeth as friends and hanging out will be really weird."
"Lucky, why do you mind if I befriend Elizabeth?" Sam asked worriedly.
He thought about it for a second. "It's not that I don't want you to be friends. It's just weird. After all Elizabeth is my ex- fiancé and you are…"
"Your mistress, lover, the other woman? What?"
"The woman I love. Elizabeth has been working her ass off to start a new life. She moved and changed hospitals to get away from everyone. Besides Emily, Nickolas and I, she has no one."
"Well don't you think is time that she makes new friends?"
"Yes, but not the wife of Jason Morgan."
"Jason and I are not married. And besides, what does one thing have to do with the other?"
"It just worries me. She seems to have a soft spot for the guy. Doesn't matter how long they've been apart they always gravitate towards the other. They just pick up right where they left off, I just don't think she's ready to go back there."
"Hold your horses cowboy. Is this about us or about Elizabeth and Jason?"
"Neither… Both… I don't know anymore."
"Elizabeth is a big girl Lucky. She can make her own decisions. I'm going through a lot of shit right now and I'm going to need a female friend. Someone that can understand my fears… The last thing I need is a possessive boyfriend. So I'm going to ask Elizabeth out to lunch and is up to her if she agrees or not." She finished hanging up the phone with a loud sigh.
Hearing the dial tone, Lucky Spencer looked at the phone in his hand and let out a breath. That did not go how it was supposed to, he thought.
She dropped her son's overnight bag at the door and watched as Cameron ran inside the house and directly to the video games. Lucky stood aside and turned and smiled at Elizabeth.
"Sorry for dropping him early. I need to go check on Emily."
"Is something wrong?" He asked worriedly.
"Not really. She is planning Paige's birthday and going bananas over the arrangements."
"I can't believe the little princess is turning two already."
"I know…" She looks up longingly at Cameron. "They grow up so fast."
"What's up with that look?"
Their eyes meet and Elizabeth said in a whisper. "I don't have a baby anymore. He started kindergarten today."
"Yeah, I heard."
Elizabeth asked surprised. "Who told you?"
"Uhhh… Cam. He was very excited about it."
She smiled at the mention of her son. "I know. And that's the thing, I thought it was going to be a little more difficult for him to let go. There were kids hanging all over their mother's. But not Cameron. You should've seen him making friends and walking around like he owned the place.
"Like father, like son."
"No, not really. He's not cocky like Zander. Still I do see some of him in Cameron sometimes."
"Cameron is a great kid."
"Sometimes I think he needs a father." She said looking back at Cam and then at Lucky. Seeing his panicked looked she added. "Not you! Don't go running the other way… And don't get me wrong. You and Nickolas have been amazing with him, so has my brother Steven. The perfect uncles, but an uncle is not a father."
"His father is dead, Elizabeth. And even if he was alive, he was born from a one night stand." Watching the hurt in her eyes he amended. "I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that. You've done an amazing job so far by yourself."
"But that doesn't mean that sometimes we don't need someone else…"
Jason bounded down the stairs of his penthouse wiping his hands over his face. "She's finally asleep. Today was a very long emotion filled day for her."
He walked towards his desk without looking at Sam, who was sitting back on the couch. He started to look over at the mail sitting on the desk and kept telling her about their daughter.
"She had a great time today with Sonny and the kids. Michael, Morgan and Kristina love her. They played all afternoon. Lila even got to drive the boat with Sonny. I'm sorry you missed it."
"Yeah, it's nice they all get along." She said dazedly.
"I wanted to talk to you about that." He said leaving the mail on the desk and walking over to her. "I've been thinking about Sonny's role in Lila's life a lot lately. I know we all agreed and I shouldn't feel this way, but I've been feeling guilty."
"What?" Sam said trying to keep her voice neutral even though his voice was raking havoc on her migraine.
Jason walked behind the couch and towards the pictures lining the mantel. Pictures of Sam pregnant, of Jason cradling baby Lila in his arms, of all three of them on her first birthday… of Sonny with Lila sitting on his knee at Christmas…
He spoke with out turning to look at Sam. "I feel like I've been doing something wrong. Like I've robbed him of the most important years with his daughter, his youngest child."
When Sam didn't answer he turned to look at her, he expected to see her mad of pensive… But he found her dozing off her eyes blinking rapidly, but still failing to keep themselves open.
"Sam, have you listened to a word I've said?"
She shook her head and tried to incorporate herself to a sitting position. Her head fell back first, but then she took in a deep breath and finally managed to sit up straight and look up, not at him but some place over his shoulder. Jason walked and stood closer to her, anger drawing on his features…
"Look, I've held my tongue long enough. I've done it for Lila and no one else. So I'm going to ask you once and you are going to answer with the truth." He pause and waited for her to look at him. Her red-rimmed eyes and pale skin made him think for a minute, but he went on. "Are you using drugs?"
That made the fog leave her head immediately. She faltered trying to stand up, but once she was standing she asked indignantly. "What are you talking about?"
"You heard me… You've been acting weird for a very long time. You've lost weight. Your skin has become pale and murky, your eyes dazed… All the signs are there and you know I won't condone this kind of behavior in my house and much less around my daughter."
His accusations made her aware and she felt her hands tremble as she walked closer to him. "You have no idea what you are talking about. I won't stand here and listen to your unfounded accusations. I'm going to bed."
She took a couple of steps in the direction of the stairs, but he stopped her. "I think I made the rules very clear when you first moved in. And five years later they still apply."
"Rules? I'm not a child, Jason."
"Then stop acting like one. I know our arraignment is not conventional, but you agreed when you moved in that we were going to make this work for Lila."
"And we have. Except for that little mistake about trying to become romantically involved, we have managed to live our private life separate so let's leave it like that."
"I can't leave it. Not when it's starting to bleed into our daughter's life."
Indignantly and emotional Sam looked at him with tears in her eyes. "I haven't neglected my daughter for a second. So don't even try to make me feel guilty for having a life outside of this damn place."
"You've miss check ups, play dates, nighttime stories, movies… You haven't been there for a while Sam."
Shaking her head, she added. "I'm tire of this, I'm not felling very well… please stop this nonsense."
Sam walked to the stairs and a dizzy spell made her stop and take a breath. Before she could continue Jason was at her side and made her sit down. He looked at her and surprised her with his next words.
"Are you pregnant?"
She closed her eyes and groaned. Looking back at him she answered. "Are you on drugs?"
"I asked you first." He said with concern. "All of the symptoms could apply to both addiction or pregnancy. You are always tired, nauseous, having headaches…"
"I'm sorry, Jason. I get that you are worried. I didn't realize that you have noticed how out of shape I've been. I haven't been feeling good. But I'm going to be okay."
"You know you can tell me anything, don't you?"
"I know."
"Besides, if Spencer doesn't want any problems he better take care of you."
"Wait… What did you say? How did you know about Lucky?" Sam asked surprised.
"It's been more than two years, did you really think I wouldn't find out?" He said incredulously.
She was speechless at his words. "I… I…"
Jason stood and walked a few feet away, then turned around to face her. "You don't have to explain anything to me Sam. We are not together. You said so yourself. We tried, wanting to make a real family for Lila, wanting to fit the picture perfect family society wanted us to have. But it was a mistake, I care about you, you gave me something I never thought I could have, you gave me a daughter. But you are free to love whoever you chose, because I can't be that person. Just be careful, Lucky Spencer has always been a little unstable."
"He loves me." She said defensively.
"Yeah, he always does. He loves you, until another one catches his eyes and then he walks away leaving you heartbroken."
Sam stood up, this time more easily. "Speaking from experience?"
"I know him, I've seen him do it."
"And I deserve to be happy. He makes me happy."
"I really hope so." He said turning away from her.
She walked over to the stairs, but stopped again. "Jason…" she waited until he turned to look at her to continue. "You deserve happiness, some to love too."
"My entire world is sleeping upstairs. I don't need anyone else."
"I know she is everything to you. That's why I haven't…" She didn't dare say the words that would break his heart.
"If you want, you can leave with him."
"I can't take her away from you."
"She's not really mine."
"Yes she is. And I swear to you, I will never take her away from you."