A/N: Sorry for such a long hiatus, school has taken a toll on me lately and I'm finally getting it together. This new chapter starts as a continuation of the last chapter.
The next afternoon:
"Okay mister Hyde, everything seems to be good according to your chart," starts the doctor looking over the chart hanging by Hyde's bed, "you can leave today if you want to" he continued, looking up at Hyde afterwards.
"Are you kidding me doc? Where do I sign to get out of here?" replied Hyde.
The doctor chuckled and nodded his head. "I'll have a nurse bring you a release form. Meanwhile, I'll fill out this prescription for some painkillers in case you need them." The doctor, seeing Hyde's overeagered face at the mention of drugs quickly added, "only take them if you experience any pain. Besides, they are not very strong so you won't get any "satisfaction" out of it."
Hyde frowned as the doctor exited the room. "So much for finding an upside to this crap."
Hyde glanced around the hospital room and realized how badly he missed the basement. It had been three days since his accident and it felt like it had been an eternity. He was ready to get back to the smoky gray room, watch crappy shows with his friends and have meaningless conversations about where they should go that night or whether Samantha was hotter than Jeannie.
However, he realized that everything he was hoping for had long been gone. They hadn't done any of that in close to a year. The last time he remembered everyone sitting around together was back in January. They all sat around, he in his usual spot by the deep freeze, Kelso on the beach chair, Eric and Donna next to each other on the couch and Fez next to them while Jackie sat on his lap. That last part had seemed so foreign to him...Jackie sitting on Fez's lap was not something he would have ever bet on, yet there she was, looking as comfortable as she had a mere months ago when she was sitting on his lap.
He couldn't remember what they had talked about, but they did laugh a lot as they had for years.
A few weeks later Eric and Donna headed up to Madison and Kelso announced he had gotten a call from Vic from the Playboy Club in Chicago and had gotten his job back so he would be moving there soon.
Hyde had hated the thought of the three of them leaving, not just because it would throw off the group's dynamic, but because he would be stuck hanging out with Jackie and Fez, and what is weirder than hanging around with a bitchy ex-girlfriend whom he couldn't commit to and a pervy, candy loving foreigner who was now"screwing her brains out?" as Fez often said (though Hyde doubted this was true).
He soon found out however, that he didn't need to worry about hanging out with them because they rarely came around after Eric, Donna and Kelso left. Well, Fez came to see him when he wasn't with Jackie, but that was rarely the case so Hyde found himself spending more and more time alone in the dingy basement.
That's where his anxiety with consistency started. The solitude and silence drove him damn near insane (which surprised the hell out of him because that's all he had ever wanted when the others were around.) It got so bad that he found himself trying to find more work to do around the record store to avoid going home, and when Steven Hyde chooses working for the man over drinking, smoking and sleeping, you know the situation is bad.
On his days off he would try to spend as much time as possible in bed so the days went by faster and when it was time to get up, he turned on the record player as high as it could go, Zeppelin blasting in every corner of the room. The Formans were the only people keeping him going since they tried to get him out of the misery his life had become.
Breaking out of his trance, Hyde looked over to the phone by the bedside table and decided to give Jackie a call. He didn't know where the impulse came from, but it somehow felt like he had to call. He had not called her since his first night there. He attemped several times but always lost his nerve. This time he was determined to wait for an answer. He walked over to the receiver and dialed the number written in the paper Eric had left.
As it began to ring, he took a deep, nervous breath and waited. It rang about five times before he heard a click followed by a "hello?"
It did not come from Jackie though, but from a man he obviously did not know. His heart started to beat faster than it ever had. "Um..hello, is Jackie there?" he asked hoping he had dialed the wrong number.
"Yeah, may I ask who's speaking?"
"Uh, Steven Hyde."
"Oh..hold on" the man replied and Hyde heard him calling Jackie over in the background.
It took a few seconds for her to get to the phone and when he heard her say "Steven?" his heart started to slow down a bit.
"Yeah, hi" he answered awkwardly. 'Real smooth' he thought, mentally kicking himself, 'what happened to zen man?'
"Hi, is everything okay?" she asked sounding concerned.
"Yeah, everything is fine. Just wanted to tell you that I leave the hospital today."
"Oh that's great Stevem!" She sad excitedly which made him feel good.
"I know. I couldn't last another day here. I was about to die."
She laughed. "Well then you would have been in the right place."
Now it was his turn to laugh. Of course Jackie found a way to turn his words on him.
"I just wanted to let you know and I guess I'll call you some other time since you seem to have company."
"Okay, sure. Thank you for calling to let me know...I appreciate it." she said with sicerety.
"No problem. Bye Jackie."
"Good bye Steven."
As he hung up the phone, Hyde had a mix of emotions all at once. He was happy he had spoken to her and happy to see her excitement over his well-being. He was also upset that she was home with some guy whom he didn't know, granted he could just be a friend, but could also be something more. The strongest emotion he was feeling was confusion. He was confused that he cared that she was with someone, why did he care?
He hadn't thought about Jackie as anything but a part of his past and ever since he had gotten into an accident, he kept thinking about her and wanting to talk to her, almost as though he wanted her to be part of his life again.
'It could be different this time' he thought to himself for a split second but then he thought of all the times that exact thought had crossed his mind ever since they had started their on-again off-again relationship over two years ago. He thought this after the "get off my boyfriend" incident, after he cheated on her with a nurse, after she couldn't decide between him and Kelso that summer. He even thought they could work it out after she had ran off to Chicago with Kelso and he was ready to work on their relationship when he got back two weeks later, but that plan was quickly ruined when Samantha walked through the door. That's when he knew they would just have to count their losses and move on, because there was no way their relationship would be able to survive that.
As he sat on his tiny hospital bed he started thinking about his relationship with Jackie. This was the first time he really just wanted to figure out what went wrong with them. Sure they were very different from the start and were both stubborn. There was also the lack of trust that was there from the beginning because, no matter how much he denied it, he never really trusted Jackie. He didn't have a reason for not trusting her, other than seeing how much Kelso flirted with her and thinking she could go back to him at any given moment.
Not trusting her killed him every day they were together because he saw how much trust she put in him when she had no reason to. He had gone off and slept with a nurse to hurt her, hooked up with some biker chick to make a point (and hurt her) and he kept Sam around because he knew it would hurt her. So much of what he did during their relationship was deliberately done to cause her pain because he wanted to get back at her for something that, at the time, seemed so critical, but in hindsight was nothing more than her having to get herself together. Comforting Kelso, not choosing between him and Kelso right away, going to Chicago..even getting with Fez were her way of keeping her sanity and he punished her for it.
All this time he has spent blaming her for their downfall and ultimately his misery, but not once did he acknowledge that most of what happened were because of his actions and decisions.
Sitting there, Steven Hyde concluded that he is the reason his life has no consistency, because he pushed away the only constant he ever had.