Woah, I typed this up quickly… I like this chapter a bit, and I think you all will to, even if it has a depressing theme. I was listening to Johnny Cash the whole friggin time I wrote this… and I'm still listening to his amazing voice… Gawd, I fucking love his music!
Ahem, anyhow, more pressure, and maybe some tense moments. I dunno, you read and figure it for yourself. This one's awl about Noodle and 2D, and the next chapter will kind of be a continuation of this one, but please don't let that go to your head when you've finished reading this XP
Well, enjoy your read, I suppose.
In the warm darkness of 2D's bedroom, Noodle lay on her bed, inside of 2D's comforting embrace. She found it odd that they were back in Kong Studio's, but she couldn't seem to find her right mind to give any care for it. She was currently fixated with 2D's lips against her own, and her unsteady breathing as he sucked on the skin of her neck. She moaned as he kissed her throat hungrily, and he looked down at her with a seductive grin. He bent down, sucking on her lips, and tracing the entrance of her mouth with his tongue. She closed her eyes. "What are we doing, 2D-kun?" She whispered against his lips, and he moved back.
She grimaced, confused by his sudden retreat, and opened her eyes, only to find him gone. She gasped, and sat up, looking around the dank room with her hand to her chest. "2D-kun?" She called out desperately. A stabbing sensation in her stomach quickly drowned out everything else. Noodle groaned, grasping at her arms, now covered in cuts and bleeding profusely. Tears coursed from the ducts of her eyes as she struggled to climb off of the bed, and then stumbled into the wall. With struggling breath, she moved to the door, clambering out into the car lot, and the dim lights flickered angrily down at her. She gasped when she saw the crimson colour of her skin, and realised her hair was matted and clung uncomfortably to her scalp. She whimpered, brushing her fingers through her hair, staring at the violet colour in disgust and terror. "2D? ...Murdoc?" Her gaze flashed to the Winnebago, and she could see it was nothing but shambles, completely abandoned. "What is going on? Why am I here?" She asked herself quietly. "I'm… I am… supposed to be on Plastic Beach… with 2D-kun, and Russel-sama," she spoke, her voice choked with tears. She limped to the lift, and rode it up to the floor where her former bedroom resided. Once the doors of the lift opened, she took in a sharp breath, moving only to step just outside the lift, covering her mouth with her hand. Noodle fell to her knees, staring at the ground and she hunched forward, sobbing heavily… The studio wasn't even there anymore… It was nothing but ruin. The damage from Noodle's room had grown, and swallowed half of the floor with it. She was alone… They had abandoned her… And they weren't going to come back…
A faint, but ice-cold cackle could be heard as Noodle continued to cry quietly. She held her breath as she felt the uncomfortable presence vaporize, and bit her lip. "That's right, little-Noodle… They abandoned you… they never even came to check and see if maybe you'd somehow found your way home…" His shrill voice whispered to her. He placed his cold hands on her shoulders, and she shrugged him off violently. He ignored her action, and continued. "They just forgot about you… they even replaced you…" She whimpered again, rubbing the salty tears away from her dirt covered face. "And what do you have now?" The Demon Boy asked her, his voice filled with mock and bloodlust. She shook her head, her body wracked with quakes, shaking with her powerful anguish. He sneered, "What do you have Noodle? What did they leave you with?" He demanded, his harsh voice clawing its way beneath her skin. He heard her mumble, and struggled to hear her answer. "What?" Annoyance painted his voice roughly.
"Nothing," she sobbed. "They left me… with… with nothing," she admitted, giving into his assault.
"That's right," he nodded, chuckling impishly. "They left you with nothing… Any why would they do that?" He asked, continuing to dig into her, erasing her resolve, hoping to forfeit her hope, and steal her mind, driving her over the edge.
Noodle took in an unsteady breath. "Because… I left them with nothing… nothing but a memory… and a lie…"
"Nothing but a selfish lie," he scoffed. "They all hate you, you know… they're not even thinking about you right now." Noodle bowed her head, closing her eyes as she huddled in on herself. "You're nothing but a faint glimmer in their pasts. Easily forgotten… and easily replaced… even that blue-haired one of yours has taken to that cyborg."
"Shut up! Just shut up," she wailed, growling angrily, her voice hoarse and tired.
He sneered, and then cackled. "Come now? You don't want to ruin the fun, do you?"
She grimaced, baring her teeth, "You leave now, you filthy piece of shit! I fucking hate you!" She shrieked.
He smirked, "Oh, I don't think that'll be happening anytime soon…" She grunted, standing to her feet, and suddenly, the Demon Boy seemed to be looking away, his mouth popped open in surprise. He grimaced, "Fuck." And he seemed to fade away, along with everything else. Noodle's eyes grew wide when her body began to shake, and the darkness shrouded everything. She was blind, and whimpered as the shaking continued, but she couldn't get away from it. Was it an earthquake?
Next, a muffled voice could be heard, and Noodle honed in on it, trying her best to concentrate on just the voice. If she could find the voice, then she could find her way out. What seemed to have gone on forever, had actually only lasted seconds, but Noodle would've never guessed such. She opened her eyes, and was relieved that she now had some sight, but it was still unbearably dark. Her eyes had adjusted, and she gasped when she realised she was in the lighthouse. She sat up, unbelieving as she gazed around her sanctuary. She looked down to her side as she heard the familiar voice mumble again. She smiled when she saw 2D's face, a small amount of drool dripping down his cheek, and into his pillow. His discomfort in his sleep must have woken her, she guessed as he shifted again. Slowly, Noodle moved her hand to his face, closing his mouth gently, and then wiping the saliva away with her thumb, he seemed to grin before he rolled onto his other side, and then sighed contently.
"He only wants you as a woman," the voice whispered to her. Noodle frowned, a cold tear running down her cheek silently. She moved, and got off of her bed, leaving her room in utter silence, but not before grabbing her acoustic guitar. She strapped it around her back, hanging from her shoulder as she left the lighthouse, and began to wander the island, not caring for the pain of the sharp plastic and rubbish that stuck her bare feet mockingly.
She winced, but ignored the stabbing as she stared at the ground while she moved across it, seeking out the dark sky above. Tonight was eerie and unwelcoming, the new moon hiding in its own shadow, making the stars twinkle brightly, but they could barely been seen through the dark, silvery wisps of the clouds passing by far above her head. Noodle brushed her hand through her short hair, slightly relieved that it was back to normal, but she still couldn't shake the dark presence of the demons. They stalked her silently, cackling as each sharp piece of plastic jabbed into her feet. She bowed her head further, trying her best to ignore them as she chewed on the inside of her cheek.
"Noodle-chan? Where are you going," Kazuno's voice appeared at her side, and Noodle's eyes flashed down to her companion. She stared down at the child blankly, her face unreadable. "Don't lose yourself," she whispered desperately. Kazuno's blue eyes were solid, and she looked up at Noodle pleadingly.
"I fear I already have… I do not know who I am anymore," Noodle spoke in a low voice. "How? …How did I become this… this woman? …What has become of the girl I once was? Where did she go, Kazuno-chan?" Noodle asked, her voice hoarse and wary.
Kazuno frowned, and whispered, "I do not have the answer…"
Noodle scoffed, "Nobody does." She grimaced as she continued to walk along, and Kazuno stopped in her tracks as she watched Noodle move on without her. After she had circled the island once, she climbed up the stairs, and made her way to the lift.
Her first stop was 2D's bedroom. Once she'd gotten in, using unneeded caution, she searched his dark room, somewhat relieved when she found the object of her desire, its dangerous end twinkling with silver light in the dim room. She held onto it dearly, and found her way to the lift again. Now on the garden patio, Noodle got over the wall slowly, and walked onto the fake grass, moving aimlessly until she came a fair few meters to a ledge, not wanting to risk going any closer. The demons urged her on as she took her guitar off, laying it on the ground carefully, and then she sat on the ground roughly. They seemed disappointed that she refused to move forward anymore, but thrilled that she had gotten 2D's flick knife into her possession once more. She stared at it reverently in the starlight, studying how the light danced off of its blade.
As the voices persisted, she knew she couldn't handle them much longer; she was going to give in sooner or later. She moved her left arm out in front of her, and brushed the knife down the outside of her forearm, almost caressing the skin. She took a breath, and pressed the blade down, wincing as it drew blood as she carved down her arm a couple of inches. She closed her eyes, a pain-filled tear painting itself down her cheek. "Why am I doing this," she asked herself with a grimace. She grunted, moving the blade away from her arm, and holding it directly in front of her face. She tilted her head to the side, staring at the blood-covered weapon in repugnance. "I don't need you," she told the inanimate object. With a resigned sigh, she pulled it behind her head, and then flung her arm forward, letting the knife slip through her fingers and slice through the air to fall far out, never to be seen again as it dove into the ocean below. Noodle brought her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs, and bowing her head to lean her forehead against her knees. As a warm breeze overtook her, she moved her face away from it, and her guitar caught her focus, her eyes sparkling with curiosity.
When his nose began to itch, 2D slapped himself in the face, and yelped as he forced himself awake. He sat up abruptly, looking around the room in distress, then realised he was in Noodle's room. That's right, he'd moved in. How could he have forgotten? All thoughts aside, his eyebrows scrunched together when he looked down and found that Noodle wasn't there. He lifted the blankets, peeking underneath them. She wasn't hiding under there either. He coughed, his eyes dancing across the room, moving from place to place. He swallowed, his throat sore and dry, and decided to get that taken care of. He tried using his hand for support as he moved off the bed, but he flinched when it stung him, and 2D realised his knuckles were still bruised from where Noodle had clamped down on his hand. He grinned to himself, and moved downstairs. He found some gauze in the medical kit under the sink of her bathroom, and soaked it in cold water before wrapping it tightly around his sore hand.
Now that that was out of the way, 2D exited the lighthouse, and made his way to the entrance, wondering why he had woken up at this time of night. He shrugged it off, and rode the lift to the study, glancing around the room warily as he snuck into the lounge, and off into the kitchen. He immediately went for the fridge, and reached inside for a cold, plastic bottle, unscrewing the lid as he let the liquid pour into his mouth, swallowing the soothing water greedily. He sighed contentedly as his throat became coated in the liquid, and was now comfortable. Next he placed the bottle on the counter as he dug for a snack, and shoved an apple into his mouth as his arms continued to shift things around, searching for anything else he could settle himself with. Quickly, he gave up and settled for the fruit, having to bite into it awkwardly thanks to his lack of teeth at the front of his mouth, but he managed anyhow.
After a quick smoke, 2D began to wonder where Noodle had wandered off to, but he believed he already knew the answer, so he left the kitchen, and made his way to the lift with a faint smile, his water bottle still in his grasp. He rode it to the garden patio, glad to hear the sweet tune of a guitar once the doors opened for him, and he stumbled over the wall, nearly tripping over himself as he moved onto the hill. His smile faded as he heard her sigh, and the music swiftly began to reflect her mood. He grimaced sadly when he saw the blood on her arm, and he held his breath, biting his lip with painful anguish as he began to hear her mournful voice singing into the night.
"I hurt myself today… to see if I still feel…" She breathed in deeply, her breath full of lament. "I focus on the pain… the only thing that's real…" 2D moved his foot forward, hesitating as he moved in close to her, and bent down to sit on the ground by her side. She looked to him, slightly surprised, but she looked forward, closing her eyes as she continued to let out her sadness. "The needle tears a hole… the old familiar sting…" He moved his hand to her hair, watching her as he moved his fingers, weaving them through her hair, and caressing the skin of her neck. "Try to kill it all away, but I remember everything…" She sung in an almost whisper, her skin tingling and burning where she felt his touch.
She opened her eyes finally, and seemed to be speaking to 2D as she gazed into his eyes and continued to sing, "What have I become, my sweetest friend? …Everyone I know goes away in the end..." His lips trembled as he felt her grief, and he kissed her forehead, not wanting to interrupt her song. "And you could have it all…" she continued as she closed her eyes once more to feel 2D's soft lips against her skin. "My empire of dirt…" she sniffed. "I will let you down… I will make you hurt…" She whimpered, continuing the music, her throat constricted and tight.
2D cut in, singing the next lines while he continued to brush his hands through Noodle's hair as he studied her. "I wear this crown of thorns, upon my liar's chair… Full of broken thoughts… I cannot repair…" Noodle looked up at him, grinning sadly as she watched his face, loving his voice as he sung to her. "Beneath the stains of time… the feelings disappear…" He kissed her cheek, before continuing, "You are someone else… I am still right here."
Noodle took a breath, and sang him the same question she'd asked before. "What have I become, my sweetest friend? …Everyone I know goes away in the end…"
They both took a breath, and seemed to read one another's minds as they began to sing together in sweet harmony, closing their eyes, 2D leaning his forehead against Noodle's, both losing themselves in the sweet tune. "And you could have it all, my empire of dirt… I will let you down… I will make you hurt… If I could start again… a million miles away… I would keep myself… I would find a way…"
Once Noodle's fingers slowed, and then stopped, she laid her guitar down to her side opposite of 2D, as he kept his forehead leaned against hers. With the hand he'd been using to brush through her hair, he pulled her face forward, and caught her lips with his own. Her lips melted against him as he kissed her, and she began to follow his lead as his lips massaged hers, but all too soon, he pulled away. "Whot's te matter, love?" She grimaced, her body quivering as she tried sucking in a quick breath. 2D pulled her into his lap once he heard her whimper. "Ih's awright, love… I'm 'ere… I ain't leavin'," he told her quietly. She nodded into his chest, kissing his neck as she wrapped her arms around his torso.
"I am sorry," she whispered to him, her voice cracking as she spoke.
2D sighed, and pulled Noodle away to look at her face. "No more apologies," he spoke quietly. "Dun tell me sorry no more, love…" He caressed her face with his thumb, and she leaned her face into his touch. He grinned as she closed her eyes, and leaned in to kiss her lips lightly once more, resting his forehead against hers again. "Yew need ta fo'give yoself, love," he told her. She opened her eyes, fixed on the dark voids of 2D's eyes.
"What do you mean," she mumbled, moving her hand to hold onto his as he held her face.
"I mean… yew need ta stop 'urtin yoself," he began, looking down at the cut on her arm. He pulled away, and brought his water bottle to his front, then unscrewed the lid. He held Noodle's arm out, away from the both of them, and poured the cold water over her wound, washing the blood away. Next, he removed the gauze from his hand, and wrapped it over the cut, nodding to himself. "I know tha' ih's 'ard ta fo'give yoself, love… I know yew still fink about 'ow yew left us… but, love…" He looked at her, waiting for her to meet his eyes. She was transfixed with what 2D had done with her arm, but she finally shifted her focus onto him when he stopped talking. "Love… yew dun need ta fink abou' tha no more," he spoke gently. "Ih's done now, an' we can't change ih… Yew didn' do nuffink wrong, love…"
"It's not just that, 2D-kun," she countered him, her voice shaken. He frowned, and pulled her into his lap once more.
"I know, love," he told her. "Yo scared, ain't ya?" He asked, not expecting any answer. "Yo scared of what yo past 'as done to yeh… yo scared that yew ain't my Noodle anymo'… an' tha' I dun care abou' yew, love…" he spoke slowly. Tears coursed down her face quietly, and 2D brushed his finger along her face tenderly. "I love yew, Noodle," he told her. She took in a sharp breath, her chest shaking as she closed her eyes and cried. He hugged her tightly, and rested his chin on her shoulder, kissing the skin of her neck. "I really do," he whispered.
"I can't...," she choked.
"Yew can't what, love," he asked her softly, weaving his fingers through her hair again, rubbing her neck comfortingly.
"I cannot forgive myself, 2D-kun," she said in a hushed tone, her voice barely audible.
He grimaced, pulling her into him further. "I can't make yew fo'give yoself, love… but at least try…" he whispered. She shook her head, unable to forget all the pain she'd caused to her loved ones. Unable to see past what she'd done to herself, and how she'd hurt 2D, and made Russel worry. Noodle could not get past the way she'd acted when they only tried to help her, and how she'd left him once more, and came back to find him broken. Who was this girl she'd become? The Noodle she was before would have never done that… she would have taken care of 2D, and never left his side no matter how upset she was with him. Noodle sneered, biting her lip angrily. She didn't deserve to have 2D, with all the pain she'd caused him.
2D could see that she was battling with herself, even if he couldn't hear her. He watched her face from the corner of his eye as her expressions shifted, and he sighed, then pulled her away from his body. Quickly he moved her, and she gasped as he took hold of her face, pulling her upwards and she felt his lips against her own. He pulled away, only to capture her lips again and again, and she breathed unsteadily, unable to come up with any rational thought. So she finally kissed him back, loving the way his touch made her feel, and the way he kept her firmly in the now, instead of racing through her thoughts, losing herself in her own past. He kept her in the present, and erased her hurt with a simple kiss. He shifted, kissing her cheek, "Stop 'urting yoself, love," he whispered against her skin. She gave no response, but he didn't seem to give it any concern for now.
Her face was stolid as he pulled away, and she knew she could never forgive herself, but she couldn't tell 2D. She didn't want to hurt him, or see the disappointment in his eyes if she let him know. Finally, 2D stood to his feet, pulling Noodle with him, and he wrapped his arms around her, kissing the top of her head. "Let's go back ta bed, love," he suggested, and she nodded into his chest.
He let her go, and tangled his hand with hers as they moved off of the hill, and over the wall of the garden patio, moving slowly as they did so. It was quiet as they rode the lift down, and 2D couldn't help but to get one more question off his mind. "Love?" He began, and she looked up at him as he gazed down at her. "How did yew cut yoself?"
She sighed, closing her eyes as she faced forward, leaning into him. "I used your flick knife," she admitted.
"An'… where is it," he pressed, his voice still tender.
"I threw it away… It is gone," she told him. He nodded to himself, relieved by this information.
Once the lift's doors opened for them, 2D led them both out, taking deliberate steps as they made their way to the lighthouse. "Why'd yeh wake up so late, love," he broke the silence once more.
"I had a bad dream," she told him, her eyes heavy with weariness.
"S'awright, love," he spoke. She nodded, and he squeezed her hand. "I'll look afta yew," he whispered.
She grinned, "You've been doing that since the day we met." He smiled, and wrapped his arm around her waist as they made it to the lighthouse.
He kissed her cheek as he let her go when they climbed the staircase, and then moved across her room to her bed. 2D got in after Noodle, and she moved into him as he wove his arms around her body, kissing her lips lightly. "Go ta bed, love," he told her against her lips. She nodded, ducking her head beneath his chin, burying her face into his neck. He caressed her hair, moving his hands down to rub into her back, and she closed her eyes, letting his touch take hold of her mind, and let nothing else in. "Goodnight, Noodle-love," he whispered to her.
"Oyasumi, 2D-kun," she told him, nuzzling her face into his neck with a sigh, tears still streaming down her face with the knowledge that she could never forgive herself. She would live with her guilt, until the day she no longer breathed, but for now, she could allow herself a moment of peace.
I have no space
No room to move around
And this box is getting smaller
I'm trying to get out
How did I get so far
From where I was?
When did I decide
To lose my way?
Who have I become?
I got a new low
All 52 cards in a row
I see now that I won't let go
No, I won't let go
Well, who am I?
A cold shoulder left to cry
You feel bad, well so do I
Yeah so do I
I've been right, I've been left
I've been wrong, I've been left behind
I've been up but mostly down
I cannot help feeling like
I have so much at stake
So, I lock myself inside my head
And I just run in place
With so many directions
I don't know which way to go
I'm so busy doing nothing
I got nothing to show
I got a new low
All 52 cards in a row
I see now that I won't let go
No I won't let go
Well who am I?
A cold shoulder used to cry
You feel bad, well so do I
Yeah so do I
I've been right, I've been left
I've been wrong, I've been left behind
I've been up but mostly down
I make mistakes
Just like everybody else
But instead of letting go of it
I can't forgive myself
Well, I did my time
In a windowless box
Like it or not
All I got now is today
Tomorrow ain't here
And yesterday has gone dead on me anyway
I've been right, I've been left
I've been wrong, I've been left behind
I've been up but mostly down
Middle Class Rut – New Low
And it's the end again. Wow, that chapter was just too damn short.
Well, if you're interested, the song Noodle and 2D sang is called Hurt, originally by Nine Inch Nails, but I was thinking of Johnny Cash's version when I wrote it. I love both versions, but I would suggest listening to Johnny Cash, simply because he puts more feeling into the song, and I love it. I'm sure you all will too.
Okay, I've decided something, that I honestly hate to press, but hey, I guess it only services to let everybody win. Anyhow, I've decided, once a chapter hits 10 or more reviews, I'll post the next chapter ASAP. That'll keep me typing, and get you all your story as quickly as possible. Kay? Gawd, I hate doing this, but it puts pressure on myself. I can't let this story slip through the cracks. I love it too much!
Oh well, until next time, everybody.
Hugz,
Hazel