AN: I apologize for the ridiculously long hiatus. My life has been taken over by school work. I decided to update now since I probably won't be able to update for a few weeks again. Hope some of you are still reading this, and that you enjoy it!

After weeks of contemplating his decision, Hyde was finally on his way to California. He had decided to leave earlier than planned to avoid dealing with any more drama with his friends, Donna in particular. He said his good byes to Kitty and Red and hit the road.

With only a few hours left of his trip, he begins getting anxious and thinking about what Donna said the night before. He realized his going to California was a pretty drastic change from the routine he had grown used to but the idea of his plans not working out really seemed real. What if he this new store didn't do as well as the one in Point Place? What if he didn't like California? Then the biggest what if: What if Jackie wanted nothing to do with him, if Donna had been right? As he thought of more "what ifs" Hyde grew more anxious.

Stop, he told himself. No backing down this time. He wanted to break his habit of running away when things became too real, too hard. This is why you're going to California...to break this pattern.

With doubts and all, Hyde drove on.

A Few Minutes later

Hyde pulled over at a gas station to refuel and buy something to eat. As he walked into the station shop he noticed a pay phone and suddenly decided to give Jackie a call. He couldn't go the next two or three hours letting his nerves build up. He also figured that now is as good a time as any to arrange plans to meet her. He got some change, walked to the phone and dropped in a few dimes.

After only a few rings, he hears a click and then her voice.

"Hello?" she asks.

"Hey Jacks" he noticed that his heart sped up just as it had when he called her in the hospital. Even after all this time, she has that effect on him.

"Hyde?"

"Uh...Steven."

"Hi, how are you?" she replied clearly not understanding the correction he made.

"Good. I just called because I'm on my way to California and thought that um...we can meet up or something..."

There was a pause and he became alarmed. Shit this is bad.

"If you want I mean,,,you don't have to" he quickly added.

"You're coming here? When?"

"I'm only a few hours away now."

"Where are you staying?"

"W.B. has a place near Hollywood and is letting me crash there."
"Why California?"
"Um..I'm opening up a store there. Look Jackie if you don't want to meet-" he was interrupted.

"I never said that...I'm just surprised that's all."

"That I'm going to California?"

"Yes Steven. And that after all this time you want to see me and...it's a lot to take in."

"You don't have to see me if you don't want to. I wouldn't force you."

The way he said that, with such tenderness and honesty really touched her. She wanted to believe him and she knew that her Steven would mean those words, but she kept thinking of the Hyde that threw her aside and she had to take everything he said now with a grain of salt.

"I...let me know when you get here so I know you're safe okay?"

"Sure...I will."

"Good bye Steven."

"Bye Jackie."

As he hung the phone on the receiver, Hyde mentally kicked himself. Damn it! Not only had she not seemed excited about him going to California, she hadn't even answered his question. She probably didn't want to see him. But why had he assumed that she would want to? God I'm an idiot!

He angrily walked back to his car and hit the road again.

That phone call had taken her aback. Never had imagined that her life in Point Place would follow her all the way to California, especially without a warning. What made it worst was how close he would actually be to her. Of all the cities in California, he would be in hers. Maybe it wasn't coincidental though?

He must have known she lived in Hollywood and that's why he was opening a store there. But why would she be a factor in such a big move for him? They hadn't seen each other in months and hadn't been together for over a year.

'He probably just wants a friend' she thinks.

As if she didn't have enough to think about, her doorbell rings and she remembers Jason.

She was sure she had given him the wrong idea before he left. Now she was going to have to tell her best friend that she's not romantically interested in him and would reject him once again.

She opened the door and finds Jason with some flowers in one hand and a movie in the other. He was obviously very excited for their "date night."

"Come in" Jackie said, opening the door a bit more.

"Thanks. I got you these and thought we could watch this movie. It came out earlier this year but I heard it was really good. I know it's not your kind of movie, but we should give it a try."

Jackie reached over and looked at the movie cover and her heart sunk. It was "Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back." She couldn't escape her past. She had done such a good job for the past few months and all it took was one phone call and it all came tumbling down. Now here she was in her apartment, the safe haven she had created for herself, being crushed by all the memories of her life.

"I can't watch this" she stated matter-of-factly.

"I know you probably wanted a romantic movie for the occassion but-"

"No. Jason, I can't watch this and I can't do this."

"Do what? Jackie I'm confused."

"This movie...this is my life in Point Place."

"How?"

"Eric...Donna's fiance, these were his favorite movies. He loves Star Wars and I'm sure he dragged everyone to see this and I keep picturing them all: Donna, Eric, Michael, Fez...Steven."

"Okay...Okay we don't have to watch it. We can just turn on the t.v and find a show to watch."

"Please listen."

He stopped in his tracks and looked at her, concerned that she may be having a breakdown.

"I think I may have given you the wrong idea before. I know I said we would have a date night but I...I don't want to use you. I don't want you to be someone I turn to whenever I get lonely or whenever my past catches up with me and I need a way to forget. You are the only person I have here and I'm scared that you want more than what I'm willing to offer. I love you, but as a friend and I don't want to ruin our friendship and...I'm sorry." She was so hysterical and on the verge of crying.

Jason walked over and wrapped his arms around her.

"Jackie...sweetie calm down. I'm okay with being your friend. I'm not going to say I don't want more, but I am happy with having you in my life and if you want me as a friend, you have me. I'm not going to force you to do more than you can right now."

"You're so good to me Jason. Why can't I just love you the way you want me to?"

"Because that's not where your heart is now Jackie, and you have to understand that it's okay. You can't push something just because you think it's good...it has to be right too."

She stared up at him. Where had that advice been a year ago? Why couldn't someone have told her that and help her avoid all the pain.

"I have to learn that I guess."

He nodded. "It's not easy, trust me. I learned that the hard way."

"You mean..?"

He nodded again. "You and I are good on paper, but maybe it's not what we need. We just need to be friends for now and let whatever needs to happen happen."

"I'm sorry I hurt you Jason."

"I'm sorry I hurt you."

He gave her one last squeeze. "I'm going to get going and just let you rest okay?"

She smiled and nodded.

"And I'll take this back" he said with a smile and holding up the movie.

Jackie laughed "yes please."

"Call me if you need anything okay?"

"Thank you."

When Jason walked out of the apartment, Jackie plopped down on her couch thankful that she had a person like Jason in her life. Someone who could keep her sane and who was understanding of her pace. She hated that she didn't love him as more than a friend because he was truly the man she had always wanted, but as he said, maybe not what she needed.

She needed to learn to stand on her own before you accepted a man who would hold her up. She needed to prove to herself that she could do it.

After hours of driving, Hyde decided to find the nearest motel and crash until the next day. He was physically and mentally exhausted.

He found a small rundown inn a few miles away and checked in.

His room had green and white walls, a twin sized bed and a t.v. parked in front of it. There was a nightstand next to the bed with a phone and a lamp on top. He knew he had to call the Formans to let them know he was alright before getting some sleep.

He dialed the number to his home and let it ring a few times before someone finally picked up.

"Hello"

"Hey Red it's Steven."

"How's it going Archie?"

Hyde loved how Red still kept up his hard ass attitude no matter what.

"Just thought I would call to let everyone know I'm okay. I'm staying at a motel for the night and should be in California early tomorrow."

"Okay good son. I'm going to pass the phone to Kitty who is clawing at my arm."

Before he could say bye to Red, Kitty was on the phone asking him a thousand questions.

"Steven how are you? Where are you? Have you eaten anything? How's the drive?.."

"I'm good Mrs. Forman. I'm at a motel a few hours away from California, I bought some food and the drive is not too bad" responsed Hyde trying to answer all her questions.

"Oh Steven, be careful. I don't want anything to happen to one of my babies. I told Red this was a bad idea. You're supposed to be here with us."

"Mrs. Forman you know I couldn't stay in Point Place any more."

"I know..I just miss you sweetie."

"I miss you guys too. But I'll call as soon as I get to W.B.'s place."

"Okay Steven. Be safe out there."

"I will. Bye Mrs. Forman."

"Bye sweetie."

Hyde rolled over on the bed and quickly fell asleep. All the anxiety and worries about this trip escaping him for a few hours.

The next day, Hyde was back on the road feeling refreshed and determined to make the best out of California. Even if Jackie did not want to get back together with him, he was going to make she agreed to meet with him. He knew that if they couldn't work it out, they would both need closure. Their relationship was undoubtedly an important part of his life, and of hers he was sure.

He had realzied that one of the reasons he needed to see her is because he wanted them to talk about everything that happened. Not just Sam and Chicago, but even before that. He wanted to tell her why he couldn't give her what she wanted or say the right things. He wanted her to know why he had cheated and had a hard time trusting her. He just wanted to understand why they had failed.

It was something that bothered him for so long. In the time they were together, he had invested so much of himself in their relationship wanting it to work out. When they had disagreements he made sure to acknowledge his mistakes and see where she was right. Their relationship was the one thing he put any effort in, and when it fell apart, he was too exhausted to give it another try. That's why he let her go, why he didn't want to try anymore. Chicago had been his last effort. He had traveled for hours to make it all work and to see her throw it all away for a night with Kelso killed him. He didn't want to be the person who tried in vain anymore, so he left and never looked back. That's also why he let Sam stay...it required no effort.
Hyde wanted Jackie to know all of this. He had kept it to himself for so long and it kept eating away at him. Even after Sam left, Hyde hooked up with many girls and with each one he promised he wouldn't make an effort. If they wanted him, they would have to work for it. Of course none of them did. Perhaps they sensed that he wasn't going to take initiative and didn't bother. It was the same story for months, take girl home, fuck her brains out, and watch her go. Sex had become such an out of body experience for him. His body must have been working on autopilot because he couldn't distinguish one from the other. He forgot their names, their faces. All these girls began to feel the same, sound and look the same. It had become part of the routine he had settled for.

As he drove, Hyde recalled the one night he could remember with a girl. It was a few weeks after Sam left but it felt so recent because he remembered it clearly.

Flashback

It was a little after 3am and Hyde stumbled into the basement with a girl behind him. They were both pretty buzzed from taking shots at a bar. He couldn't remember her name or even what her voice sounded like. He didn't care either. All he knew what that he was going to add another notch to his belt that night.

She tripped and started laughing loudly and uncontrollaby. Hyde tried to quiet her down so she wouldn't wake up the Formans. He couldn't fathom the idea of them catching him drunk with a random girl. They would be disappointed in what he had become and would lecture him about changes he needed to make.

He picked the girl up and took her into his room. Before he could close the door behind him, she was stripping her clothes and looking at him seductively. He couldn't deny that this turned him on, and it was the first time he got a good view of her. She was small and had perfectly manicured nails. Her dark hair fell on her shoulders with a few bouncing curls. Her eyes were dark but expressive. She looked so familiar to him, but so different at the same time.

He wanted her badly. Not waiting for her to undress, he pounced on her and kissed her. He couldn't understand why he became so addicted to her lips but he couldn't stop kissing her. Without breaking away, he led her to the bed where he laid her underneath him. For a while he was under this trance, and then she spoke.

Her voice was not what he expected. It was low, sensual and a bit raspy. He broke away and stared at her. For a few seconds he just stared. She laughed and that surprised him too. It wasn't shrill, it wasn't annoying. It was a normal laugh, almost contained.

"What's wrong babe?" she asked.

He just shook his head.

"Come here, Lana will make you feel all better."

Lana.

The name kept replaying in his head. As she took charge he just kept saying the name over in his head. Lana.

The rest of the night was a blur. He didn't remember if the sex was good, who finished first, or anything she said after that. He did remember her getting up and leaving sometime before 6am.

He saw her a few days after that working at a store in the mall, but neither acknowledged the other.

End of Flashback

Thinking about this, Hyde couldn't help but laugh. What the hell had become of his life? It was so funny how much she had effected him. He would have been perfectly content with his life in Wisconsin a few years ago, but now he wanted more. He thought he deserved more.

AN: Thanks for reading. I have a clear idea of where this story is going now so when I do update it will be a pretty lengthy chapter because I want to finish this by December 4th (which is the day Zeppelin officially split up). Anywyas, see you all next time.