Yay, another chapter! You guys weren't as vocal as you normally are in that last chapter? Whats' up? lol... just kidding!
Anyhow, well… yeah… don't have much to say. I actually have no opinion of this chapter. It's just... not bad, but not good...? I dunno... I don't really feel for it at all. Wait, wait, yes i do, just maybe not the last part so much... The whole of the chapter is sad, but isn't that sort of the main theme here? Bittersweetness. Yes, I just made that word up… the "ness" part anyway, lol
Again, don't have a whole lot to say, or a whole lot to share either, but I hope everyone enjoys the chapter! And I will try to get the next one out soon as well. I know I've been leaving you guys off with 'sort of' cliffhangers (I guess you could call them that) lately.
Love hearing from all of you, as usual! ^.^
~Hazel
Noodle's eyes dilated when she heard a low moan escape 2D, and he began to shake his head slowly. She sat up quickly, watching his face in shock as his eyes began to flutter open slowly, and she brought her hand to his face, brushing against the skin of his cheek and tangling her hands in his hair. His dark voids opened widely, but his vision was still clouded, and Noodle's mouth popped open, too surprised to come up with any words as he began to look around the room. "2D," she breathed, convulsing as she leaned closer to his face, studying him wearily. His eyes focused in her direction when she called his name, and she bit her lip, choking again. "2D-kun," she cried, "Watashi ha totemo kawakatta!" She continued petting his hair as she spoke to him, her lips trembling, "I missed you… very much…" He looked to her, confused by the language fluttering off of her tongue, and struggling to register what was going on.
He blinked, staring blankly for a moment, and then he focused on the green of her eyes, his heart pounding furiously with both pain and longing. He tried lifting one of his arms, reaching for her, but he felt something tug at his skin, and his eyes grew wide as he turned his gaze to his arm. He yelped, reaching for the tube sticking out of his skin with his other hand, but Noodle grasped his wrist, and he trained his black voids on her, completely bewildered. "Do not touch, 2D-kun," she whispered, grinning at him tenderly, "Daijoubu da, koibito..." He swallowed, his mouth popping open for a moment as he took in her face. She sniffed, her body convulsing lightly as she gazed back at him. She couldn't believe he was awake right now… he was alive, and had come back to her. She was overjoyed, and he was feeling the same, but his pain and confusion balanced it out, making him seem impassive. When her body began to rattle with sobs, he frowned, taking his hand back from her and wrapping his free arm around her body, pulling her down to him. She cried, burying her face in his neck as more tears crawled down her face, and 2D began to stroke her back, trying to console her.
She lifted her head, looking down at 2D, smiling as his dark eyes met hers and cupping his face with her hand, brushing her thumb against his skin. He grinned back tiredly, and she leaned toward his face, grazing her lips against his. His longing took over right then and there. He had craved her presence for days, and kissed her back eagerly. When Noodle parted their lips after a moment, 2D trailed his hand up to her neck, and she gasped when he pulled her face back down to his, capturing her lips with a hushed groan. "M'not finished," he breathed, meshing his lips against hers. She grinned, enjoying his touch as he pulled on her lips. "I missed yew so much, Noodle," he whispered raggedly into her mouth, kissing her roughly. She shivered, closing her eyes as she moved her hands to his chest, concentrating on his lips against hers, tears streaming down each of their faces. After a few heated kisses, 2D began to roll towards Noodle, wanting to feel more of her against him, but the stretching of his body shot a fierce pain through his side and he howled with pain, breaking away from Noodle and lying flatly on his back. His eyes shut tightly as he clasped onto his side, fisting his shirt in his hand where his wound was, and he pushed his other hand into his head, a migraine making itself known. He let out a long moan, the hand on his shirt now moving up to join his other on his head, and he pressed against his temple, pain-filled tears building in his eyes. He looked to Noodle, his eyes squinted, and he could see the worry in her face. "'Et 'urts," he breathed, his breathing labored. She nodded, placing her hand on his face again and brushing against his skin tenderly. "Noodle," he choked, trying to get a proper breath and ignore the pain. She trained her eyes on his, and he continued, "I dun like t'is fing in me arm," he told her.
She grinned sadly, combing her fingers through his hair and kissing his forehead lightly. He grinned back, tangling his own hand into her hair, savoring the feeling. "I know you do not like it, 2D-kun," she spoke quietly, still grinning, "But you need it for a little while. I will take it out soon," she promised. He frowned, not the answer he'd been looking for, but if Noodle thought he needed it, then he wouldn't complain. She giggled shortly when his lips pouted, and she kissed him swiftly, enticing the singer to smile once more.
She bent over him, careful not to touch him as she reached for the orange pill bottle on the stand next to the bed. Once she curled her fingers around it, sitting back in her place, she popped the lid off, dropping a couple of the pills into her palm. She handed them to 2D, who took them with a grin, dropping them into his mouth and swallowing them dry. He coughed after a moment, staring at her again. "I really missed yew, love," he told her gently. "I dun know where I wos… buh awl I evah f'ought abou' wos seein yeh… I wos scared like, an' ih wos awful… buh t'en I felt yew again, an' I f'ought I wos gonna die… buh t'en I 'eard yo voice… an' I woke up," he smiled, reaching for her with the only arm he could. "I nevah f'ought I'd be so glad te feel pain again." She smiled, her lips trembling as she leaned over 2D, slumping against his body and curling into him. He hugged her close, his hand sneaking beneath her shirt to touch the skin of her back and rub her gently. She sighed, warm tears streaming down her face.
As she let the calm consume her for a moment, her thoughts began to race and collide with one another wildly, and once a simple word crossed her mind, she felt a fierce pain emerge. "2D-kun…" she breathed, her face twisting with agony. She didn't know how she was supposed to tell him, but she figured it would be best to not put it off. It would only hurt him more if she tried to hide it. And she knew he'd figure something was up eventually. He could read her all too well.
"Yeah, li'l Love," he whispered back to her, his eyes closed as he continued tracing circles on her back and grinning to himself. When she became quiet again, he opened his eyes, looking down to her quizzically. After a moment, she lifted her face from his chest, and pulled away from his body. She sat up, scooting away from him, and his face dropped, extending his arm toward her and gently holding onto one of her hands. She bowed her head, tears pouring down her face as she bared her teeth, staring blankly at the space in front of her. His brow scrunched when she didn't curl her own fingers around his hand, worried he had done something wrong. "S'everythin' awright, love," he questioned, his voice nervous, but the sadness in her face made him want to hold her again. She shook her head, her breath hitching as she shook with sobs, trying to hold them back. He hated seeing her so mournful.
She looked up to him, nothing but grief reflected in her eyes. "You will hate me…" Her words were almost silent. 2D took in a deep breath, frowning and shaking his head when he realised what she'd said.
2D furrowed his eyebrows, squeezing her hand. "Nevah," he promised. "How can yeh say tha', love? Yew know 'at I'll love yew no mattah whot," he told her, grinning sadly as her eyes met his, and her chest quaked with sobs. She bit her lip, closing her eyes tightly, and more tears slid down her face. He lifted his hand, brushing the wetness away from her cheek, and she looked at him carefully, studying him –the sincerity in his expression. How would he feel when he knew? She continued chewing on her lip, the dull ache in her stomach reminding her of their loss, but it was almost completely faded now, of course, she knew the emotional hurt would not fade any time in the near future, but maybe 2D would be understanding, and it wouldn't hurt so bad. "Love," he called for her attention, and she met his eyes warily. "Yew can tell me anyfink, Love," he spoke, cupping her face and gently caressing her damaged cheek.
She took a deep breath, and as the words bubbled to her lips, her face twisted with sadness again, and she began to sob once more. 2D took a hold of her wrist, tugging at her arm, trying to move her toward him, but she snatched her hand away, shaking her head ferociously. He grimaced, not understanding what was causing her such grief. She took in a shaken breath, fisting her hands and rubbing her eyes. She couldn't bear to meet 2D's gaze as she forced the words from her mouth. "I lost the baby," she finally spoke, closing her eyes as more tears slid down her face, irritating her eyes. 2D's mouth popped open, confusion painting his face thickly.
"Whot do yeh mean yew los' te baby, love? 'E's in yo tummy," he told her nervously, placing his hand on her stomach. She reached down, taking his hand in hers as she sucked in another breath, her body convulsing as she let out another sob. She trained her eyes on 2D, her eyes dancing on his face before settling on his eyes. "Ain't 'e," 2D asked, his voice taking on a childlike temper, his expression fearful. Noodle grimaced, the sorrow only growing more prominent as she took in 2D's confusion. As she continued to stare at him, 2D bit his lip, a tear crawling down his face, "Ain't 'e, Love?" He questioned again, his tone growing stressed. She realised that telling him this would probably make him that much sicker, and she grimaced, her face coated thickly in the wetness from her mourning and from guilt for possibly causing more harm to the singer. He watched her warily, still waiting for a response, and she gazed into his eyes intently. Slowly, carefully, she shook her head, and 2D's breath caught in his throat, tears sliding down his face as he closed his eyes and chewed on his lip.
"I'm so sorry, 2D." He heard her soft whisper, and he could feel as she began to shift, moving away from him. He opened his eyes, discovering that her back was now turned to him and she was inching towards the edge of the bed. Panicked, 2D began to roll toward her, but the tugging at his arm reminded him that he was stuck. He clenched his teeth, looking at the IV in his arm angrily. He reached toward it, determination burning in his black eyes.
Noodle's eyes grew wide when she heard 2D yelp, and flashed her gaze toward him, her feet hanging off the edge of the bed. She now saw him –he'd pulled the strong tape away from his arm. Now he took the IV, cautiously pulling it from under his skin, holding his breath as he did so. Once it was free, he dropped the needle with a shudder, and slowly, his eyes locked onto Noodle from where he lay, his expression somewhat dazed. Before she could register the emotions on his face, trying to think of some way to scold him for pulling out what could have potentially been his lifeline, he made a grab for her, ignoring her squeak as he curled his hands around her wrists and dragged her down to him roughly. The movement caused another sharp pain in his body, but he ignored it. "Come 'ere." She heard him breath, but she could have just imagined the words as he pulled her into him, wrapping his arms around her protectively. He tucked her head beneath his chin, pulling her against him tightly as they laid on their sides, and she could feel as his body quaked with tears. She could hear the choked breaths he took in, his face twisting with anger every so often as he cried, trying to hold back his sobs and comfort her. She could hardly respond. Wasn't he angry at her? Did he not see the shame in her eyes? Or did he? Was that why he was holding her now? "I'm…" he began, convulsing as he took in another breath. He swallowed back the tightness in his throat, "Hhh-Ih's okay, love… M'not angry at yew," he told her, hoping he'd guessed right and ultimately quell her fears. "M'sad, love, yeah," he choked, the grieving apparent in his tone, "But I have yew… Yo' awl I need…" His words drew more tears from her irritated eyes, and she bit her lip, a whimper escaping her throat as she buried her face against 2D's chest, winding her arms around his body and clinging to him desperately.
Of course, 2D knew he was angry, but not at Noodle for losing their baby. He wasn't angry at her, but the fact that she could ever let herself believe he would blame her for the loss of their child. Had he not been clear? Did she not believe he really loved her as he told her so? He bit his tongue, tasting the metallic tang of blood as his teeth cut into the pink appendage. He took in a deep breath, overcome by the great anguish he felt, multiplied by the guilt he felt for not being there for Noodle. So many times he'd left her when she had needed him the most, and he had promised to never do so again… He'd broken his promise. And now, they both had nothing but each other; no longer where the twined together because there was a child involved, but that had never been the reason for his life to have become so entangled in hers in the first place. He'd tangled himself in her because he had needed her, and now she was in just as much need of him… possibly more.
She only cried harder, burying her face further into him, and his arms grew tighter around her body. His body shook with the sobs he held in his throat, but he couldn't help letting a whimper escape from between his lips whenever Noodle's sobs grew audible. He felt empty now, though the child had never been a part of his own body as it had been a part of Noodle, he still felt the loss, and it tore him apart on the inside. He could only imagine the sorrow this was causing her.
After enduring a long moment of mourning, the both of them grew quiet, taking in their loss and letting it settle. "I am still sorry, 2D-kun," her voice pulled him back to the present, her warm breath pushing through the fabric of his shirt and brushing against his skin. He shuddered, hugging her close and breathing in the scent of her hair, letting it take over everything in his mind.
After a moment, he combed his fingers through her hair, pulling back as he took a shaken breath, filling his lungs. "'Et's not yo' fawlt, Noodle…" he told her gently, kissing her temple, relishing the feel of her skin against his lips. "'sides… Yew still weren't ready…" She pulled back, locking her eyes with his. He smiled affectionately. "Were yeh?" he finished. She bit her lip, shaking her head slowly as more tears shed from her eyes. He lifted his hand to her cheek, brushing his fingers beneath her eyes and smiling at her, memorizing each detail of her face.
"But... but I wanted to," she spoke, her voice hushed. She lifted her hand to 2D's face, staring at him intently. He gazed at her for a moment, letting her words sink in before he took his hand from her face, winding it around her neck and pulling her face up to his, catching her lips with his own. She melted into him, hoping he would take her to a place only he could, making her feel like the center of the universe, but neither of them could handle it right now. 2D moaned as his movements stretched out his wound again, pulling his face away with a gasp and closing his eyes tightly.
Noodle swallowed, feeling guilty for allowing 2D to strain himself. It was now she noticed just how much sweat 2D had built upon his body. He was burning up. She pulled back, unnoticed by 2D as she sat up and pushed him onto his back again. He opened his eyes now, worried she may leave him again. Instead, she was looking to the IV drip, taking 2D's arm in hers and reaching for the needle. Once he realised her intentions, he yanked his arm away with a grunt, shaking his head furiously. "No," he whined quietly, on the verge of more tears. She grimaced. She didn't know how else to take care of him, but maybe he didn't really need the IV drip just this moment –and she'd never get it back in him anyway with his being conscious. But at least him being alert meant that she knew he was alive and with her. With a sigh, she reached for his hand, interlacing their fingers. He let out a breath of relief, closing his eyes again.
"2D…" she whispered. She saw his face tighten, straining to hear her. When she was quiet, he opened his black voids, shifting his face to meet her eyes questioningly. She was staring right back at him, her face blank. But this face was not the expressionless mask she'd hidden behind when she'd first come home. No –now he could tell the difference. This blank face was plagued by multiples of emotions, gliding past her eyes and leaving her expression as a portrait for every one. It was a poker face. She knew they both needed something else to think about besides their anguish, and this was all she could come up with. He parted his lips, ready to ask what she needed, but she finally began to speak once more. "I'm going to get you away from here," she told him, the emotion behind her voice indiscernible. He closed his mouth, his eyes growing wide. He tried to read her face, but everything was all mixed up and his medication was finally starting to kick in. She could see the confusion, so she tried to answer him. "You'll die if you stay here," she told him, petting his hair tenderly, "I'm going to get you away from here..."
He swallowed, not trusting his own ears. "Hh-how?" He asked, doubt and fear thickly heard in his words. He jumped when he heard their lighthouse door open roughly, looking towards the stairs. Quickly, his gaze flashed to her once more.
She grinned understandingly, leaning forward and kissing his forehead. "I will tell you later," she promised.
"Baby-girl," Russel voice boomed from downstairs, now coming up. "Got us some food down here... How's 'D doin?" They heard him question. Noodle looked down to the singer, a smile on her face. He grinned back sheepishly, wondering why he felt the need to do so.
"See for yourself, Russel-sama," she spoke back to the drummer. Now at the top of the steps, he seemed frozen in place once he discovered 2D now staring back at him nervously. He couldn't remember why just this moment, but the presence of the drummer scared him as much as the whale.
Russel grinned, approaching the two nestled on the bed. "Ey, man. How yeh been?" The genuine concern the drummer displayed gave 2D a sense of comfort, surprising him somewhat.
He let out a breath he hadn't realised he was holding, and smiled back, letting out a low chuckle. "Been bettah, Russ, but fanks."
The drummer chuckled as well. "Yeah, guess so, huh? …Ya hungry, man? You been out fo' days," he offered. 2D looked to Noodle now. Had he missed something? 2D understood why Russel had been tolerant of him straight after he had been shot, but now there was absolutely nothing. Noodle giggled, reading his bewildered expression thoroughly.
2D swallowed, "Um… no fanks, Russ… De f'ought o' food a'tually sounds… well, nauseating," he answered, unsure of his words. Noodle and Russel both laughed now, and 2D let his lips curl into a smirk, glad to lighten the solemn mood. He looked to Noodle again, gazing at her lovingly. She pecked his cheek, and the singer grew nervous again. He took her hand in his, stroking her skin with his fingers. "M'actually right well knackered, love," he told her, and she saw fear flash in his eyes again. She placed her hand on his face, now realising everything about him made her seem tiny. She shook the thought out of her head.
"You can sleep, 2D-kun… You need to rest," she spoke. "It will be okay," she promised. He nodded, trusting her judgment. She trained her eyes on Russel, her poker face in place, hiding from 2D as she spoke, "Can I talk to you, Russel-sama?" She requested. Russel looked confused, as well as 2D, but neither spoke. "I need to make some… decisions," she told him. He gave a slow nod, and she moved from her place next to 2D, the drummer now moving down the steps once more. The singer looked hurt when she escaped his grasp, and once Noodle stood to her feet, he realised he would be alone again.
He lurched forward, yelping and slumping down on his back, his head hitting the pillow as he grasped his side in pain. Noodle rushed toward him, wide eyed as she brushed her hands through his hair. "I dun want yew te leave me again," he cried, hissing with pain again.
She leaned forward, kissing his lips gently, "I'll be right downstairs, 2D-kun," she assured him. "Just take a nap, okay? I won't leave you." He stared at her for seconds before allowing his head to give a nod, and she grinned at him wistfully, kissing his lips once more. Her face twisted with sadness as she parted her lips from his, a tear gliding down her cheek, and she kissed him once more, letting her lips linger on his for a moment longer. They both sighed as she pulled away, and she took 2D's hand, smiling at him as her singer offered a grin to her, and then slowly, she turned, unwilling to break their eye contact, but forced to once she reach the stairs, and then she followed after Russel downstairs. 2D stared after her, a frown on his face, and once he could no longer see her head bobbing as she moved down the steps, he sighed, staring at the ceiling, tears misting in his eyes as he thought about what Noodle had revealed earlier. He wasn't going to be a father…
Noodle sat next to Russel, absentmindedly stuffing food into her mouth as her mind wandered upstairs, hoping 2D wasn't too distressed. "What's up, baby-girl?" His voice made her cringe, and she placed her food down on her plate, resting her hands on her legs as she sighed.
She shook her head, swallowing the tightness in her throat, the tension growing thick in the air as she tried to find a way to explain this without making her adopted-father feel as though she'd not been considering him in her decisions. Leaving him would hurt her greatly, but losing 2D would kill her. She took a deep breath, holding back her choked sobs, and Russel placed his hand on her shoulder, squeezing her lightly. "Russel," she spoke firmly, yet her voice was soft. "You and I both know 2D is going to die here," she looked up to the drummer, her eyes red with tears, sorrow painting her every feature. He sighed, knowing where this was headed, but not quiet understanding the full extent of Noodle's intentions. He braced himself as she took another breath. "He cannot be here –it's killing him. And if he dies, so do I… Maybe not physically, but you know what I mean." She paused, and he nodded. "He needs a doctor, and I do as well," she quivered, biting her lip. "He will not make it another few days," she breathed, tears streaming down her face.
"I know, baby-girl," he spoke, pulling her into his side and rubbing her arm comfortingly. "We all need ta get outta here…" he breathed, and she nodded furiously. He took another exasperated breath, "But you can't go anywhere. We's stuck, an' you know Muds won't be easy. Even if you do get 'D to a hospital, Muds is jus' gonna drag you all right back here," he told her, his shoulders hunching.
"Murdoc doesn't have to know," she whispered. Russel's milky white eyes opened widely, and he stared down at the guitarist, eyeing her curiously. "I know someone who could get us away from here… and they could be here very soon…" she allowed her words to trail off, giving Russel time to mull her words over in his head.
"I don't know if dat's a good idea, baby-girl," he began. "I mean, Muds'll just track you down –an' you know how he gets when he's angry."
Noodle's face grew ferocious now, and Russel had to compose himself as she bared her teeth, staring at the floor angrily. "He will not find out," she spoke darkly, but then her expression grew somber –mournful once more. "Besides, I have a chance, and I refuse to waste it. Do you not believe, even with the world as my opposition, that I should take every chance I get to save 2D-kun? Would you not take every chance you received to save me, if need be, Russel-sama?" He looked like he wanted to inquire, but he kept his lips sealed tightly, giving a simple nod. "I know it will be hard, and it will be scary… but I have a chance, and it's the only option I've got," she breathed, slowly breaking down further as piles upon piles of this life she'd known here pressed down upon her. Everything she'd thought was okay was building itself against her, and tearing her world apart, and now that she'd found an escape, she was set on pursuing it. As far as she was concerned, it was her only option.
"I undastand, baby-girl," he told her, taking her hand in his and squeezing her tightly. "But you know I ain't goin' wit' you," he spoke, as if he'd not expected the confused look on her face. "Someone needs ta be here afta you's gone. And besides, Muds'll notice if I'm gone. Not so much if you an' D is, cos he hardly sees you two lately anyways," he chuckled humourlessly. "He'll notice eventually, but at least I can buy you two some time ta settle down some place, or at least get 'D back ta health."
Her lips trembled, and she hugged him tightly. "Are you sure, Russel-sama?" She asked hesitantly, worried that she may be hurting him and he may feel as though she were abandoning him again.
"More than sure, baby-girl," he spoke confidently. "Muds needs someone ta watch afta him n'eways… An' it's not like I won't see you again," he told her, "You know that it ain't goodbye. Just a 'see ya round'…" She nodded, saddened by the hint of sorrow she could hear in his voice. She'd never heard Russel sound sad before. She looked up, kissing his cheek chastely and then hugged herself around him again. He chuckled, hugging her back, "Jus' remembah ta say 'bye' befo' you leave, a'ight," he chastised her lightly. She grinned, nodding. After a moment, he pushed her away, smirking at her bewildered expression. "Well? Muds 's still hungover. Dis'd be da only time ya have ta go an' call whoevah you's gonna call, baby-girl," he advised. Noodle grinned once more, standing to her feet. She froze for a moment, and Russel grimaced, but they both chuckled when they heard 2D's light snores echoing down from her bedroom. "I'll watch 'im," he told her.
With one last nod, and a small smile, Noodle turned, swiftly gliding out of her lighthouse and then jogging up to the beach entrance, smiling widely as she gazed at the ring placed upon her finger. Once inside the lift, she bounced from foot to foot as she waiting for the agonizingly slow beast to climb up to the study, and the ride seemed to only drag on longer with each passing second. She longed to go back to 2D and crawl into his arms, but the knowledge that their escape depended on her right now outweighed both her fears and her craving for his touch. This was just one decision; one decision that would drastically alter their world, and forever change them. This decision she made right here, right now, could forever define her and her future. But the only other future before her was one without 2D standing beside her, and she would die if she were forced into that reality.
She dove out the lift once it opened for her, sneaking through the study, her movements minute and thought out well before she made them, but though the caution wasn't needed, it gave her a sense of security. She flinched as she pulled out a specific book, and the bookshelf slid out of its place, revealing the staircase the led down to Murdoc's secret room. She strode down the steps quickly, becoming more confused the further down she moved, wondering if there was an end to them at all, but eventually she'd gotten to the bottom. She had heard from 2D once before that Murdoc used to use the lighthouse as a sort of broadcasting station before she'd arrived, but when she had come, the bassist moved his equipment here. She studied everything in the room carefully, and found what looked to be a dial to a sort of phone. She slid the ring off her finger, turning it until she could see the numbers etched on the inside of the ring. She dialed the numbers as she read them, sighing with relief when a small light made itself known on her ring, glowing dimly as it gave off its signal.
I break down, fear is sinking in
The cold comes, racing through my skin
Searching for a way to get to you
Through the storm you...
Go, giving up your home
Go, leaving all you've known
You are not alone
With arms up, stretched into the sky
With eyes like echoes in the night
Hiding from the hell that you've been through
Silent one, you...
Go, giving up your home
Go, leaving all you've known
You go, giving up your home
Go, leaving all you've known
You are not alone
You go, giving up your home
Go, leaving all you've known
You go, giving up your home
Go, you are not unknown
You are not alone
You are not unknown
You are not alone
Linkin Park – Not Alone
Ooooh O.o What's gonna happen next? Those of you who pay attention should know ^.^ Maybe…
Anyhow, again, I appreciate all the support I've gotten so far, and I apologize to everyone who's waiting to hear from me. I'll get to you soon, but my mind is going haywire and I'm about to have a total meltdown, figuratively speaking, lol