Kensi wakes up and the first thing that registers in her foggy mind is that she's not in her bedroom. She remembers that she's in the hospital after two short seconds and why she's there. The second thing she notices is that she's not on the same spot where she fell asleep the night before. She's not sitting on the uncomfortable chair situated next to her partner's bed. She's laying on a couch, not that far from the bed. She sits up quickly and looks at the bed. Callen is sitting on the chair previously occupied by her, awake.

As soon as he sees her, he whispers. "You were too uncomfortable here. I moved you to the couch when I got here four hours ago."

Kensi frowns and gets up. "Why are you whispering?"

Callen smiles at her. "Deeks woke up about two hours ago. I told him what was going on and he fell asleep after a few minutes. He's just sleeping, now, and the doctor wants him to rest as much as possible."

Kensi can't help the relief that takes over her and sits on the second chair, next to Callen. "Did you and Sam catch the guys who did this?"

"We did. With all the information Deeks managed to gather in the past 40 days, we managed to bring down those guys."

Kensi takes a deep breath and looks at her partner's peaceful form. "One of the guys you arrested did this to Deeks. He needs to pay for it."

Callen nods. "We know that but until Deeks tells us who did it, we can't do a thing."

Callen sighs. "This whole thing makes me want to ask you how you're doing. And don't say you're fine because we both know that's bullshit."

And, for the very first time, she allowed herself to open up to someone. Callen is, after all, one of her closest and dearest friends. "He was hurt because I didn't show up in those meetings. He thinks I don't love him because, if I did, I would have gone there."

Callen smiles and gets up. "Explain him what happened when he wakes up. I'm sure he'll understand. Now, I have to go home and take a shower. I'll be back this afternoon but call me if you need anything."

Kensi nods and waits until he leaves the room. Then, she decides she can read the remaining letters.

Day 20
I saw you today and it was the best thing that happened to me during the past 20 days. I'm sure you didn't see me but I saw you and that's enough for me to hold on, for now. You were with Callen, on that bakery you love so much. I was walking down the street when I saw you there. A part of me was a bit jealous because I'm the one who should share donuts with you. But Callen made me a promise before I left and it was good to see he's been keeping it. He promised me he would look after you while I'm gone and I trust him with that task. I know he won't let anything bad happen to you.

Kensi allows herself to smile at that. Callen didn't last a week without breaking and telling her about that promise he made Deeks. And that's not very surprising. Callen is a damn good undercover agent but when it comes to keeping secrets from her, he's awful. That's why, after only five days, she asked him why he was following her with his eyes. Kensi looks at Deeks, just to make sure he's still sleeping, and moves onto the next letter, noticing the 10 day difference and feeling a pang in her chest because of it.

Day 30
He's the same Jack. I could barely believe what I was hearing when he told me the story of how he ended up working with these guys. He spoke about you, the woman he left because it didn't feel right to be with her anymore. He actually talked about how he left you that morning and I had to keep myself from punching him. I wanted to break his nose because that was the least I could do to show him how much he hurt you back then. I wanted to make him pay for what he did to you. However, I have the feeling he's a key-part in this whole thing and I might need him. I can't give him a reason not to trust me.

Her hand is shaking slightly because she has a bad feeling about this. Jack is bad news and she starts fearing for her partner's safety, even though the part of her brain that is not absorbed into the letters knows that he's right next to her now, safe. She takes a deep breath and keeps reading.

Day 35
Jack has been giving me funny looks a lot, lately. I don't know why but he seems to know something about me that he shouldn't. I don't think my cover is compromised so I won't be walking out of this. But the way he looks at me is rather unsettling. I dreamt about you today, once again. I hated this dream, though. I dreamt that I was dead. It was my funeral and you were there, crying in another man's arms. I was jealous of a man I've never even seen before. It made me think about that scenario and I hated it. If you're reading these letters, I'm probably dead. That's why I want to ask you something, please, don't take another man to my funeral because that would break my heart (I know it doesn't make sense because you can't break a dead man's heart but humor me, Fern).

A tear runs down her cheek before she has the chance to stop it. She loves him. How could he even think she would ever be with another man? Oh, that's right. He has no idea of how much she loves him. And that makes Kensi want to go back in time and tell him everything, just to keep him from hurting during that stupid undercover assignment.

Day 38
I was tortured, today. Jack tied me to a chair and started making small cuts on my leg. I don't think they're deep enough to leave scars but they sure as hell hurt. He asked me questions about who I am and what I do. I didn't give him anything so he put plastic over my face and poured water on it. It's one of the worst things I've ever felt. It feels like you're drowning when you're not. It's awful. Regardless of that, I didn't tell him anything so I think he's a lot more at ease with me at the moment. This guy is a total psycho, Kensi.

That's all she can take for now. She sees that there's another letter but she can't bring herself to read it. Kensi can barely stand the thought of anyone torturing him. That's why she puts the letters aside and grabs his hand, needing to feel him. The need to make sure he's okay is more than what she can take. She has to make sure he's really there with her.

And, almost as if he could sense that, Deeks opens his eyes and looks at her.

How do you think Deeks will react to Kensi's presence? What's in the last letter?
Fear not because all those things will be cleared up as soon as I post the next chapter (which will hopefully be soon).

Reviews are love.
Sarah