Half an hour later, Rick had breakfast all done. Fresh coffee, warm pancakes ("Thank you so much for last night"), toast, jelly, a cheese and herbs omelet...
And no sign of Kate.
He knew that she had took on his offer of a bath because, when he went to his bedroom to get her still wet clothes to put it to dry, he heard the shower running. The temptation to join her was really strong, but he didn't want her to think he was pushing. They would have other opportunities to 'shower' together. Many others.
Rick engaged himself on finishing to organize their food, made a plate for each and when he was washing some utensils, he felt as if someone was watching him. He turned and saw her propped up on the wall, wearing a shirt too big for her, one of his boxers and with her hair sill wet falling through her shoulders.
Kate was analyzing him too. The loose cotton pants, the T-shirt leaving nothing of his pectoral to imagination. She had seen him with messy hair very little times, and this bed hair, oh God, was her favorite visual of him already, it made him look younger, relaxed. She hoped that soon she could see that thin layer of stubble oh his face... Sexy.
He shook his head, needing to take off of his mind the image of her legs if he wanted them to eat, wiped his hands on a dish towel and walked to where she was, holding out a hand to her. Kate bit her lip, this time just to tease him, he was sure, and accepted his hand.
In a way, this act represented well how the beginning of their relationship would be: careful steps, one of them guiding and showing the way to the other, until they could finally walk side by side.
She sat by the countertop as he skirted it to go get their coffees. He prepared hers without thinking, her preferences carved in his memory, and handed her the cup before putting his and going to her side, stopping himself just when he was about to touch the seat.
-Oh! I'll be right back.
He disappeared in his office and returned a couple of minutes later holding something. He took a glass off the cupboard, put water on it and then placed it on the counter along with the content of his hand and took the seat beside her.
She looked down and saw two pills beside the cup.
-I saw the bruises earlier today, Kate. I guess that they are not... pleasant. -she looked at him and he tried to explain before she understood something wrong- It's just an anti-inflammatory and an analgesic. You don't have to take them. I just thought maybe it could help... -and began to babbling- And it's good to take it with a full stomach, so since we will eat now...I don't even know if you're hungry... I just thought...
He shut up when she put a hand on his leg and gave him a small smile.
-Thank you.
Rick just squeezed her hand, saying "thank you" and "you are welcome" without using the words and then the two of them focused on the food he made. Well, not 100%. They attention was divided between eating and observing the other from time to time. She, being discrete. He, doesn't even trying to.
They finished eating and, when Rick put the last dish in the sink, he felt Kate getting closer and running her fingers through his, holding his hand.
He was going to question it, still not used to this touchy Kate, when she gesticulate with her head, pointing to the leaving room and then headed to there.
She sat and he did the same, staying at arm's reach but not glued to her side, sensing the seriousness of the moment and knowing that she would appreciate her personal space unobstructed.
The seconds passed and neither of them had said anything yet. Suddenly, she laughed:
-I'm sorry... It's just.. I need to tell you some things... -she ran her hand over her face to gain some time- But, just... -took a deep breath- For me, to open my heart is so damn hard... You, better than most, know how I suck at that and... -he cut her tell.
-Kate, you don't have to say anything. We don't have to do this now. We can just... -now was her time to interrupt him.
-No. After everything that happened... -she laughed without humor- See where letting to talk about things later, or just never mentioning it again, led us. -she laid her head back on the couch, closed her eyes and took another deep breath- It's just... I don't know where or how to start.
He looked at the woman in front of him, totally the opposite of the controlled and independent detective that he met, and saw a dark spot on her neck.
-You can start telling me what happened yesterday...
Kate turned her head and looked at him. He was, certainly, wanting to understand a lot of things right now. Well, let's begin with that one then.
She told everything that happened since she returned to the precinct the previous afternoon. She spoke about the track on Maddox's apartment, Esposito and her going there, and the surprise they had when he showed up. She told how Esposito was easily dominated and that she followed her shooter to the roof of the building.
When she began to narrate the fight, Rick changed his position on the couch, resting his elbows on his knees and putting his face in his hands, as if trying to prevent the images to enter his mind. He heard her saying how Maddox was much more skilled, faster and stronger than her, how he made of her his punching bag.
She saw his hands closing tightly when she told him that Maddox tried to choke her, when he heard the anguish on her voice as she said that, even then, she had tried, in vain, to pull out some information from him. Rick heard, with horror, her telling that the man threw her out of the building.
-He looked at me, hanging there, and turned away, sure that I would fall. -she paused, letting it sink in- I couldn't stake my feet at that damn wall. I didn't have enough force left in my arms to prop me up again...
He shut his eyes, preparing himself for what still had to come.
-I looked down and saw the height... The only thing on my mind was that I was going to die without talking to you again. Without making things right between us. And then... my hand slipped...
He interrupted her, not bearing to imagine the scene any longer:
-How did you climb up?
-I didn't.
He looked at her, puzzled.
-I mean, I didn't do it by myself. Ryan and a couple of officers showed up and they pulled me up. -she put her hand on his arm.- I though he was you. When he screamed my name, looking for me, I heard your voice, again and again. I looked at Kevin still seeing you, but then I realized...
Rick stood all of a sudden, making her stop talking, and walked around the room, running angrily a hand through his hair:
-Someone called me. From the station. Probably, Ryan. God! Stupid! Stupid! I didn't answer, Kate! I simply didn't take the damn call. -he stopped on the opposite side of the coffee table in front of her- You needed me and I just... God...
She stood too and went to him, grabbing him by the arms, forcing him to stay put in front of her.
-It was better that way, Castle. If you were there, he would... He could have...
-No! I'm your partn... -Rick realized that, in fact, he had ended his partnership with her the day before.
Kate perceived where his mind had gone and stepped in:
-You are my partner. Look... -she let go of him, but stood in place- We both made and said things that we shouldn't have. Okay? -she looked down- So... I'm sorry.
-Excuse me?
-I'm sorry I lied.
He took two blinks to understand what she was talking about.
-Oh, about hearing me saying that I love you?
Listening him saying that again made her look up and stare at him. How could be so easy to him simply say those words? Moreover, after all that happened, he was still using the present tense. Kate sat back down on the couch, unconsciously needing support.
Explanations part II was in order.
-When you showed up at the hospital, I got so happy, Castle. Until then, I was not sure if I had dreamed about it or what. I just had to lock my eyes with yours to know for sure. But... I was with someone. And with everything that was happening... I didn't know what to do. So I resorted to the only protection method I know, running away.
He was still in the same place, listening intently.
-Do you have any idea how many times I wanted to call you? How many times I actually typed your number? Until I couldn't stand anymore and threw the phone on the wall?
-Why didn't you? Called me, I mean.
She gulped.
-I couldn't. I didn't have the right.
She noticed that he was going to say something and raised a hand for him not to, to let her finish. He accepted the silent request.
-Every time I looked at my image on the mirror or I began to cry in pain, I couldn't believe that what you said to me at the cemetery was true. Every time I had an panic attack or thought about the danger and the trouble that I brought to your life, I was more sure about it. You could, I don't know, have said that in a moment of fear, thinking that you would never see me again. But... You? Love me? No way...
She squeezed the base of her nose, trying to control herself a bit and focus. He approached her, but did not touch her or say anything, sensing that she had more to say.
-The first weeks were horrible... Thinking that no one needed to see or deal with all that shit, well, except my dad, was the reason I isolated myself. Slowly, the things were getting better, and I began to feel like myself again. -she looked at him- And then, when we got back to work, I didn't know how to bring up the subject. I still had doubts. So I just... I tried to get closer of you, in my own way...
-But I never got to say the words again... -he said, following her reasoning- And when I started to act like a douche...
She gave a little sad smile before completing his sentence:
-You made me doubt again. After all, fun and, above everything, uncomplicated, are things that I'm far from being.
Rick wanted, more than anything, to hold her, to have her against his chest, but at that moment, he felt as if he had no right to do so.
-Kate...
She surprised him by grabbing his right hand with her left one:
-It's okay. You were just...
-No! So not okay! I was an idiot, I took hasty decisions... Being hurt is no excuse for leaving you alone like that...
-You tried to make me think clearly, Castle. I was the one who not listened.
Rick held out his free hand and placed it on her face:
-But I was not there when you needed me... -his voice choking with mixed emotions, regret in the command post.
Kate took her hand to his face too, still holding the other:
-You saved me. Again. I held there, taking forces from you, from the thought of seeing you one more time. I didn't accept that things would end that way. Not after all that I survived. That we survived. -he squeezed her hand, being sympathetic- And then, after... -she considered that was the best to tell about her resignation another time- I got out of the precinct, I stayed hours on our swings...
She managed to pull out a smirk from him with the "our", until Rick remembered how was the weather yesterday:
-But... In the rain?
She bit her lip, shy.
-To be honest, I didn't notice the rain. I had too many things in my head. I just needed... to clean my soul? And see you. You know, I didn't make any plan of action, I didn't know what to expect, I didn't even think that you could not be home, or be busy... I just... I needed you. So I came here.
Rick nodded,indicating that he understood, before answering:
-Admittedly, it was the best decision you have ever made.
Kate laughed and smacked him on the shoulder with the back of her hand. Rick moved his arm to between her and the couch, pulling her closer, hugging her. She stood up and, before he could consider what was happening, she sat down again, this time on his lap, putting one leg on each side of him on the couch. She smiled when she saw the astonishment on his face because of the boldness of her gesture, and dropped her face until their lips touched.
He took a moment to respond, but then his eyes were closed, his hands were on her face, he was parting her lips with his tongue and a moan was escaping her.
.
Next (and last) chapter: Bubble burst
Reviews are always welcomed ;)
Gabs.