Chapter Seventeen: …The Truth Will Come Out
"Go ahead and get Obi-Wan and Jace," Jaina said, not meeting Qui-Gon's gaze. "They deserve to know the story too."
"How do you know Jace is here?" Qui-Gon asked as he rose to his feet.
"Both because I sensed him and he is, or rather was, the only one who knew of my real name and was the only one who could have told you." Jaina said, still not looking at Qui-Gon.
Keeping a watchful eye on Jaina—though he really didn't know why—Qui-Gon opened the door and called out for Obi-Wan and Jace. The two entered, followed by four others: Denn, Winna, Bant and Siri. Jane acknowledged each of them, but didn't object to any of them wanting to hear her story.
Obi-Wan embraced her and held her for a minute before kissing her on the forehead.
"Glad to see you amongst the living, Jainy-bug," He told her.
"Yeah, you gave us quite a scare for a while there, Short-Stuff," Siri said, ruffling Jaina's hair as Winna and Bant fussed over something little on one of the monitors.
Jace sat hesitantly beside her. He looked up at her nervously and flinched when she turned to him, as if he was expecting to be slapped or yelled at.
"I know why you told," Jaina said in a whisper. "And I both forgive and thank you.
Jace struggled for words, then he finally just hugged her.
"Don't scare me like that again," He whispered fiercely into her ear.
She smiled.
"I promise," She told him as he let go of her. Jace grinned and hastily wiped a tear off his cheek and resumed his seat beside her, taking her hand in his.
Jaina looked around the room and took a deep breath.
These are the people I am closest to, Jaina thought, looking around the room. Qui-Gon, my father in everything but blood. Winna, my mother. Denn, an uncle. Obi-Wan, my brother. Siri and Bant, my sisters. And Jace. My best friend. They deserve to hear this story.
She closed her eyes, then started to speak. She knew the story by heart, occasionally gone over it in her head. But, still, the words sounded foreign as they came out of her mouth. As if the story didn't belong to her. But obviously, it did.
"So by now either all or most of you know that my father was an Telosian ex-Jedi. His name was Xanatos."
Bant gasped and clamped a hand over her mouth. Jaina ignored her.
"Nearly ten years ago, strange accidents began to occur at the Temple. Items were stolen, the ventilation and lighting systems would stop working, and a student was kidnapped-" Bant and Obi-Wan both cringed with memory. "-all orchestrated by Xanatos. All to lure his former teacher out to fight him.
"He realized he needed a place to hide, and decided to keep multiple hiding places," Jaina continued, not looking at anyone. "He remembered my mother, who had had a childish crush on him years before. He had made sure that she was being given a drug that obscures the mind, knowing that she knew of his turn, and was very careful that she was the only one to receive the drug. Once it was in her system, he came to her in the dead of night and requested that she hide him in her quarters, to which she agreed, being physically and mentally unable to resist. I don't know all the details of that time, but I know that my mother came to realize what had happened too late.
"My mother discovered that she had been manipulated as the drugs wore off. Shortly after, she learned of her pregnancy at the same time that he died. She knew if anyone found out about her pregnancy, that she would be forced or encouraged to terminate her pregnancy, which she decided from the very first moment that she wouldn't do. So she left the Temple.
"She went to her homeworld of Corellia and met an older woman who would simply go under the name of Nonna who offered her sanctuary and to help raise her child. It was Nonna who had discovered my potential and genius, and it was she who encouraged my mother to train me, though I was barely a year and a half old. 'She is destined for greatness,' Nonna would say, though I am still doubting that is possible."
She then told of her mother's mysterious illness and death, her becoming a ward of the state, escape from Corellia, how she came to her alias, and how she came to be at the Temple.
"How do you know all this?" Obi-Wan asked after a long moment of silence after Jaina finished her tale.
"My mother told me shortly before her death," Jaina said. "She… she at least wanted me to know."
She still remembered that day…
In a flash the images of a loving, kind, handsome father who died tragically for a noble reason were gone, replaced by an ugly, bitter and evil version of her daydreams.
"I am sorry, my love," Jocelyn whispered as Jaina sat with tears flowing down her face. "This entire mess, it was my fault. I was blinded by emotions. He only came looking for a place to stay the night and I demanded more. But I don't regret it, because I was blessed with a wonderful daughter. But I must ask for your forgiveness anyway, because I feel I have wronged you."
Jaina hugged her mother and gave her forgiveness. Jocelyn hugged her daughter in return, and then asked the little girl to do the impossible.
"Forgive him?" Jaina spat, anger bubbling inside of her. "What for? I will never forgive him for all the evil he has done. Why should I?"
Jocelyn had sighed and stroked Jaina's cheek, wiping away the tears of bitterness.
"You will know in your heart when the time comes, when you will have to make the decision whether to forgive him or to remain to feel this way about him. I pray with all my heart that you will choose the former."
Jaina had told her with all her three-year-old stubbornness that she would not, but Jocelyn said no more on the subject.
Can you forgive him now? The nine-year-old Jaina of today asked herself.
She shoved the thought away. She had more pressing concerns. She sought out Qui-Gon's face, trying to read his expression, but he wouldn't look at her.
I am not mad at you, he told her through the Force. Merely frustrated with myself.
But his sudden disconnect from her mind left her feeling otherwise. And it hurt.
"Can, can I be alone for a while?" Jaina asked. "I need some time to think."
Her request was granted and the small crowd in her room disappeared, giving her hugs, kisses and hair-ruffles on the way out the door. She waited till the door was closed and the footsteps were fading away before she broke into tears.