*note: WARNING: Reference to rape and abuse. Continuation of the first date.Please send reviews! Thanks! :D
Chapter 10:
A thousand thoughts ran through Emma's head as she kissed Regina.
What if she tries to leave again once we stop…?
…don't stop kissing her….
Am I pushing it too much…?
Just…don't stop kissing her…
Maybe she just wants to kiss me right now then she'll leave again…
…god her lips are so soft…mmm…
She's just not that into me…I blew it…I blew it dammit I shouldn't have kissed her…
…more…
She wrapped her arms around Regina's waist as the woman slowly stood up, not breaking the kiss. She pressed herself closer to her body.
Regina was intoxicating. Emma wanted to feel every inch of her body, breathe in her scent, listen to that beating heart. She wanted to say so many things to her. She didn't have the courage.
What if she runs again…?
Instead Emma stood with her arms around Regina and lost herself in their kiss. She picked her up by her waist and quickly set her on the edge of the picnic table. Their kiss broke. Regina opened her eyes.
Emma had her arms on either side of Regina, her chest heaving slightly, breathing heavily as she looked into those brown pupils that had darkened with desire. The woman pulled her in, urgently, capturing her lips once again as heat rushed through Emma's body.
Regina…
The name sounded like a sigh inside Emma's head. Her lips danced with the dark ones that pulled at them- Emma winced as sharp teeth nibbled on them, and then nearly moaned as Regina's wet tongue trailed over her bottom lip and disappeared inside her mouth to meet hers, sending shivers down her spine.
They broke apart once again, needing air.
"I think…I think we should just…move this along…" Regina whispered. Her hand rested on the base of Emma's neck, the other one was clutching blonde curls between its fingers.
"Move this along…"
"You know…we both know what we want…let's just get along with it" Regina hissed.
Oh?
"And what is it you think I want?" Emma tilted her head, eyeing the woman before her curiously.
Regina raised her eyebrows.
"Emma, I can tell from the way you…er…you're responding to me…so your place or mine…?"
Emma blinked.
"That's not all I want though" she whispered, looking away from the brunette, her hand trailed up Regina's curves absently.
"Are you really telling me you don't want…it… Ms. Swan?!" Regina nearly growled.
"I do! I mean…yes but that's not all!" Emma rolled her eyes "I'm not looking for a fuck buddy, Regina"
Why won't you understand Regina? Do I have to spell it out for you?
"I don't-
"Dammit, woman I want all of it! Ok?!" Emma nearly yelled. She took a step back from the table.
"I want dates, like tonight. I want to bring you flowers. Make you laugh. Take your hand and walk down the streets. Spend weekends with you and Henry. Watch movies together. Go on long drives. I want you around… I want to be around you… I want to stay up late at night, talking to you. I want your smile. Your happiness. I want…you… I want all of it!" She finished.
Regina looked as though someone had struck her face.
"Emma…" she whispered after a while "I…I told you. I'm not ready. For all that."
Emma groaned and walked over, closing the distance between them. She grabbed her arms, roughly.
"Why?! Dammit Regina just tell me! Tell me why you don't want any of it?!"
"Because I had all of it once!" Regina yelled, snatching her arms away from Emma's grip and walking away from her. Emma didn't turn around to face her.
"He…he promised everything…like you. Unconditional love. Happy endings. Everything. Empty. All were empty words. He left me on the side of the road like some ragged, unwanted old doll who wasn't worth even a second glance. I was pregnant dammit! With HIS child!"
Her voice crashed down on Emma like a million hammers. She didn't know what to say. This was a completely different Regina- gone were her usual collected appearance, her voice trembled, her eyes were slightly teary. Emma could tell she was trying, really hard, not to let a single drop of water roll down her cheek.
"Daniel. He was the most charming man I had ever met in my entire life. I was a freshman in college, when I met him at a party. We dated for about a year before he asked me to move in with him. In the beginning it was all great. He was sweet. He took care of me. We had a great time together. He told me he'd always keep me happy. He said we'd…we'd be…forever…"
Emma turned around only to find herself facing Regina's back. She could see her arms crossed at her front. Regina didn't turn.
"It all started one night. He got home drunk…I was on the couch…and he…well…he forced himself on…me…I know he was my boyfriend and we lived together but…that night…I didn't want it…but he wouldn't listen…he…just…"
That bastard…that fucking bastard…
Emma felt her blood boil inside her, her hand bunched up into a fist. She helplessly watched Regina who was still facing away from her. She heard a quiet sniff. Then almost half a sob but the woman muffled it on the back of her hand.
"He did it often…just…whenever he felt like it…it got rough sometimes…whenever he'd have too much at a party he'd come home and get…and I just…"
Emma carefully walked up to her.
"Regina…" she trailed off, what could she even say? When the woman still wouldn't face her, she turned her around and gathered her in her arms. It was as though she had snapped some sort of barrier, because Regina wrapped her arms around her neck and sobbed, hiding her face in Emma's collar.
"When I found out…that I was pregnant…with Henry…I hoped…I…hoped it'd change him, make him the way he used to be…but…it…nothing…he…k-kicked me out…threw out all my stuff…c-called me…a…a…who-
She choked on the word.
"Shhh…Regina…shhh…" Emma held her even tighter as the woman rocked inside her arms. She felt tears against the skin of her throat. Every sniff and every sob, coming from Regina, pierced her heart.
"I never told…cause who'd believe me…he was the most charming and friendly guy on campus and we were living together. We were in love in everyone's eyes…I did love him until he turned…into a monster…"
Her voice was a whisper now. Emma tried real hard to listen to every word that was being uttered.
"I moved back to my father's afterwards, quit college, had Henry. Everything had been running smoothly until you walked into my life" She paused for a beat before continuing, "You with your schemes, and sweet talks and dinners and the way you are with Henry…making me feel like…like…like I'm worth something…as though I mean something…everything is too much…I can't…Emma, I'm…I'm damaged goods. A-a... broken mirror with too many shattered pieces."
Regina lifted her head from it's place inside Emma's collar and finally met her eyes. Emma found her voice and spoke steadily, looking into those dark brown eyes.
"I can handle a broken mirror"
"You can't. Not this one."
"Let me try."
"There's nothing to see here Emma. Walk away. Just…" she trailed off, turning away. Emma reached out for her, pulled her into her arms from behind and hugged her tightly.
"There's everything here. Everything. I'm not letting you go."
Regina sighed, turning her face away "Let me go Emma, please"
"No." Emma breathed into Regina's bare neck, planting a soft kiss there.
"Please…don't make me…don't…"
Emma trailed her lips up Regina's neck and whispered in her ears, "make you what Regina?"
"…make me…love…you" Regina finished. Emma sensed her body shiver slightly under her touch.
"I will walk away if that's what you really want." Emma muttered "but if you're pushing me away because you think I'm going to break your heart, then Regina, you are so..so…wrong" Regina swallowed hard, her throat flexed slightly, Emma felt it on her cheek which rested against the woman's neck.
"Do you feel anything for me Regina?" Emma asked, turning Regina to face her, "And don't you dare lie because I can tell when someone's lying"
Regina nodded "I…I-I do…I think." Emma continued.
"Then I'm going to be around Regina, I'm going to make you believe that you can be happy with me. I'm going to be there for you, only a phone call away, when you need me. I'm going to hover 'round your shop, waiting to take you out for lunch dates during your brake. I'm going to bring flowers for you and kiss you and tell you you're beautiful. If I have to buy off your entire goddamn mirror shop for that then so be it. I'll do it, I swear to you. I'm not letting you go. I want you."
She pulled Regina into her arms and felt her sigh.
"Emma…"
Regina whispered into her neck. Her breath was soft against her skin. Emma's nose smelled the sweetness of the dark brown hair. Her head was a mess of countless emotions.
God, woman what are you doing to me…
They stood that way for a while, in each others arms. Emma's arms circled around Regina's waist; Regina's locked around her neck.
"It's getting kind of cold" Regina mumbled from within Emma's collar, wiping a tear on the fabric.
"Well if you'd give me a few seconds then I could grab something from the car, to keep you warm" Emma whispered into her hair.
"What?"
"My jacket. The red one."
Regina's head shot up, brown eyes wearing a murderous glare.
"Don't you DARE!"
"Well you said you're cold!" Emma chuckled. Regina scowled, then after a thought reached up for her face. Emma welcomed the sweet invasion of Regina's lips as the woman kissed her hard and full on her mouth.
Emma was breathless after she pulled away.
"Well…uhm…just for that…I think I…hmm…there might be a different way to keep you warm" she winked at the brunette.
"Oh?"
"Mmhmm" Emma pulled her in tightly, "stay like this in my arms. You won't ever be cold. Never ever again."
She felt Regina smile as she settled into her arms once again.