Life, Death and Disappointment

Sookie stayed around for the rest of the night finally falling asleep as dawn approached. When she woke up Matt's bedroom was empty. She ran downstairs to where Eric slept and found the tables had turned as Matt was sitting next to Eric's bed. The vampire looked extremely pale, but Matt looked great.

"What happened?"

"I woke up, but I'm afraid he overextended himself. I gave him some blood back and he perked up for a few minutes, but it didn't last long as he fell asleep again."

"He looks peaceful."

"Yeah he's pretty out of it." Matt looked up at Sookie and then back at Eric. "You broke his heart you know."

"If it means anything it wasn't my intention. I'm not even sure how I ended up having to choose. But I couldn't, I couldn't hurt either one of them and by doing that I hurt them both."

"Life is often cruel like that."

"Is that why you wanted to kill yourself?"

"No I just don't want to live anymore."

Sookie looked confused. "I don't think they are mutually exclusive."

"And therein lies the problem," Matt said looking at her his blue eyes soft and sad. "I love my father but this nonstop world is beyond me and I'm tired of trying to keep up with it all. Immortality isn't all that's it cracked up to be. There are so many things I'll never know that I will never be allowed to experience. My life is like stagnant calendar never moving never going forward and that is the cruelest of all."

"I guess I never thought of it that way," Sookie said looking into Matt's eyes. "Oh, Bethany isn't pregnant; apparently she swallowed a tiny bit of your blood and that set off all of her symptoms. I thought you should know."

"Thanks, I guess. I wonder why it affected her so much you had a lot of my blood and have had no side effects."

"That's where you're wrong," Sookie said glancing down at Eric's sleeping form before she returned her gaze to Matt. He turned to face Sookie but was quickly silenced as her lips met his.

Matt wasn't sure what to do; for one of the first times in his life he was tentative. He closed his eyes and relaxed momentarily until he realized just what was happening.

Sookie felt the breeze before anything else, her lips still stuck to Matt's. "Where the hell are we?" She demanded to know after she opened her eyes.

"Aland, a chain of small islands between Sweden and Finland," Matt said blinking in the sunlight.

"Doesn't it ever occur to you to zap us to the Caribbean once in a while?"

"I don't care for the heat. Listen Sookie, we can't do this," he said touching his lips with his fingers.

"You're right, I'm sorry, you are far too young, even though you aren't. Why is my life so damn complicated," she yelled stamping her feet into the ground. "But why do I feel this way about you, it's, it's just plain wrong."

"My blood, you tasted my blood and it's still lingering. I'm not saying we can't do it because of my age," he began to explain.

Sookie looked confused. "Then why?"

"Because Eric will kill me. He may have accepted the fact that you two will never be together but I don't think he meant for me to take his place."

"Eric would never hurt you. He nearly killed himself trying to save you. You're his son and he loves you very much."

"There isn't enough love for this; at least I'm not going to chance it."

"Well do you think he knows? I mean he was pretty out of it, but we were right next to him."

"I honestly don't know, which is kind of why we're in Aland, despite his best efforts he cannot find us."

"Why here?" she asked.

"He used to take me here when I was young." Matt admitted. "It's always held happy memories for me."

"See, he loves you enough not to kill you."

"That my dear, remains to be seen."

"So now what? I'm not moving here." Sookie said crossing her arms.

"You have no passport and the red tape to get back to the states could choke a horse."

"Are you threatening me Matthew Northman?"

"I am after all, my father's son. But no, of course I wouldn't leave you here."

"Well, that's good to know." And suddenly they were back in Sookie's backyard. "Now that's a relief, not that I don't mind traveling, but it's a bit of an abrupt way to go."

"You prefer airports?" Matt asked looking around.

"Well no, but- hey you're not supposed to be hopping around the world anymore," she said, her hands on her hips.

"Fine, you want to tell Eric why I was globe-trotting?" Matt asked his blue eyes wide.

"No, not at this particular time."

"Then I guess I got away with one."

"When will we know if he…well knows?"

"He doesn't have the strength to get up and out yet, besides its daylight now. I suppose it will be tonight."

"It ought to be just a great day then," she sighed. "Matthew, tell me how Bill became king of Louisiana."

"I have no idea, politics I imagine."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You think humans are the only creature that employs ridiculous policies and act like they make all kinds of sense? It's all about who is scratching whose back. But I really don't know how it all happened. I know while you were gone Nan Flannigan was busy trundling her goods door to door, maybe she made some promises."

"But isn't she dead now?"

"Exactly, and now I understand that Russell is back. He is one very scary dude, one that made my dad very uncomfortable, and now I must say that I am a tad bit concerned as well."

"I thought he was dead?"

"I've heard otherwise."

"How can that be?"

"Politics again? I really don't know Sookie, I wish I did."

"How powerful is he?"

"Beyond any power you have ever known."

"That powerful huh?"

"Yeah and once he is back on his feet…you'll be begging me for a return trip to Aland or anywhere that isn't Louisiana."

"You may be the only one that can save me," she said suddenly.

"Maybe." Matt said looking beyond serious as if he had already decided to take on that burden.

"Why does it have to be like this?"

"I have no idea, power, control; all the things that make the world go round."

"So are you okay now?" Sookie asked changing the subject. "I mean, you're going to keep on living right? Are you going to age?"

"I guess I'm fine, but I have no experience with this type of thing, so honestly I'm not sure what the effects may be."

"Well I like you just as you are and I don't want you to change."

"Yeah, I could tell you like me just as I am, but just put yourself in my position; never changing, never evolving."

"That's because you have evolved a lot already. I mean you can snap your fingers and go anywhere, in any time period."

"No finger snapping required," Matt said with a forced smile.

"See, now that's evolution." Sookie responded with her own forced grin. "Did you want to die? Is that why you did it?"

"Honestly Sookie, I don't really know. I tried to die once before."

"What happened?" She gasped.

"I fell off a cliff."

"What happened?"

"My dad had been gone for a long time, I felt betrayed by the world, never fitting in, never comfortable so I just got too close to the edge. I think part of me thought if I survived, Eric would come for me."

"Did he?"

"He called, told me to straighten up and fly right."

"Were you hurt after you fell?"

"Not much, just dirty and pissed that I had walk all the way around to get back up."

"Can you die?" she asked her brown eyes soft.

"I suppose so, I mean vampires can meet their true death, I can't be that much different."

"What was it like here a hundred years ago?" she asked suddenly changing the subject.

"You want me to take you on another field trip?"

"Something to pass the time, I'll go crazy if I stay here all day, waiting and wondering what Eric is going to do."

"First of all, he would never harm you."

"That's what I think about you."

Matt shook his head. "I'm his son, it's different. I know he loves me, but the parameters are different with me. Besides, I wouldn't let him hurt you."

"Are you stronger than him? I mean being half witch with the ability to zoom all over creation, just might mean you have greater abilities than him."

"I've never tried to be stronger, but I could probably stay out of his way for a very long time. And I could take you with me."

Sookie unable to hide her gratitude at the boy's statement allowed her smile to show. "I appreciate that, I really do. But the last thing I would want was to divide you and your father."

"Then maybe you shouldn't have kissed me right next to him," Matt said, the words out of his mouth before he could stop them. "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for," he quickly apologized.

"No, you're right. It was just that I couldn't seem to help myself. Maybe that's how vampires feel when they feed, they just can't control it."

"Self-control is an extremely difficult thing to master," Matt said grabbing Sookie's hand.

Suddenly they were standing on the middle of a road alongside a chain gang on either side of them being watched over by a guard on horseback, his gun leaning against his shoulder, his eyes hard. The prisoners were all black and swinging what appeared to be sickles, hacking down the tall weeds on the roadside. Each one was shackled to the man next to him creating what looked like a morbid Christmas decoration. They were all singing a song that she had trouble making out the words to. Then suddenly she realized they were in the middle of the road, not hidden, her hand flew to her mouth as she gasped.

"It's fine, they can't see us." Matt said instantly understanding her fear.

"But how?"

"More of my magic powers," he said smiling. "You wanted the history, here is the history. This is about sixty-five or seventy years ago. Not too pretty is it."

The only word Sookie could get out was "why."

"Because they didn't have tractors back then, but they did have lots of free labor. Sure, some of these guys are criminals, probably bad ones, but I'm also just as sure that many are here on trumped up charges or no charges at all. That guy right there," Matt said, his head nodding towards the guard, "would have no issue with shooting one of these guys and having a nice lunch right after."

Sookie looked horrified. "Well you asked," Matt said defending his choice of locations.

"It's terrible."

"It's everywhere, it's in Europe as well. Man will always be intent on hurting what is different."

"Which is why vampires are so intent on mainstreaming."

"Give the girl a prize. There are some people, such as yourself, that don't see the differences, they only see the person for who they are."

Suddenly they were gone from the side of the road and next to an empty lot that held several girls jumping rope. They all appeared to around ten years old and there were two white girls mixed among the five black girls. One of the white girls was standing nervously to the side looking around for whatever impending doom might be around the corner, while the other one was merrily laughing as she jumped, holding the hand of a black girl, whose smile was as big as day. There were no differences as they jumped, only friends playing a game. They too were singing a song, a chant that girls often sang while jumping rope and they were in the moment, oblivious to all that was around them. Sookie couldn't tell exactly when this was but she knew it had to guess sometime in the 1950's or so.

"You inherited your ability to love first from someone who was very special to you," Matt said looking at the happy white girl jumping rope.

"Gran," Sookie gasped. She walked closer to the action and studied the girl she had only known as an old woman. She looked at her grandmother, her vitality, strength and energy all apparent on her face as she embraced the moment.

And suddenly they were back and Sookie felt nauseous. Dizziness forced her to sit down on the steps of the porch before she fell down. "Too much travel today," Matt said looking at her sympathetically.

"Thank you," she said before she turned to retch and eventually vomit.