Chapter 6: Unthinkable (I'm Ready) by Alicia Keys
Blinking in the sunny light of my bedroom, I sat up in my bed and rubbed my eyes. My watch said it was ten o'clock. I hadn't slept in for a long time…it was such an odd feeling. Then again, I had had one long day. Squinting, I tried to recall what all had transpired the previous night.
The stressful and never-ending work day had happened; my aching muscles and tired eyes could assure me that much. But everything else seemed…maybe not impossible, but improbable. "Highly improbable." I murmured, but happened to then glance down at what I was wearing. Beth's dark blue, knee-length dress wound itself snakelike around me… a possible outcome of fitful sleep. My grey sweater smelled like alcohol, coffee, and…Jerry.
So last night did happen. Heat spread into my cheeks as I remembered our conversation, the dancing, how Jerry held my body so magnificently to his…but wait. There was an ending to this story; an ending I was missing. I furrowed my brow and waited for it to hit me. The memory of making it back into my own bed. The only thing I could remember was feeling so warm, so pleasant, so wonderfully calm…and I had fallen asleep…in his truck!
I hadn't gotten myself into my own house, which could really mean only one thing. Jerry had carried me in. How should I feel about this?
It was strange.
Strange because…I should feel wildly distraught about such a thing. And yet all I could do was close my eyes, lean back into those wonderful pillows, and imagined they were really his arms. I sighed with such peace.
Riiiiiiiiiiiing! Riiiiiiiiiing! The shrill ringing of my cell phone jilted me back to reality. "Peaceful moment's gone," I grumbled to myself and turned to the nightstand to grasp onto my cell phone. I truly hated that thing.
I looked to see who was calling. Aunt Nora was finally calling me. She and my Uncle Ben had taken a "Retirement Trip," around the country, and had informed me that they would call me when they could, but would be most of the time outside of cell phone reception. My cousins and I had gotten a good kick out of Ben's new RV, which had started the whole idea. He had found it off the side of the rode with a big neon "For Sale" sign.
My oldest cousin, David, had agreed with me that it was a rather…crazy idea. But two weeks later, after a tearful goodbye between us because I was to be heading down to Nevada that weekend, half of my Aunt and Uncle's belongings were in the used RV. Their three children (and me,) were waving them off to their first adventure. And that was the last time I had seen them.
"Hi, Aunt Nora," I answered the phone.
"Hello, Emma dear, how are you? How's Nevada, baby?" My Aunt's voice seemed to just radiate happiness, as it always had.
"Nevada's great, I love my job, and my house, too." Cutting to the chase was key with Aunt Nora. If she felt you were beating around the bush, then something must be wrong.
"That's great, honey! Oh, Ben, stop there, I have to tinkle-" My Uncle Ben's grouchy reply rumbled through the phone, "No, I've told you, I refuse to use that toilet! It is utterly disdainful! There are God-awful stains, and bugs- Oh, Emma, sweetheart, once you have time off, you and your cousins should all go on a trip like this. It is simply wonderful!" She lowered her tone, "But, if you ask for my advise, I'd say to take a plane. Maybe a private jet! David's got connections, eh?" She giggled into the phone, and almost on cue, Ben harrumphed in the background.
I laughed along with her. "Yes, we should do that. But tell Uncle Ben that the RV looked great on the road. Very manly."
Nora repeated this joyfully to my Uncle, and I distantly heard him say, "Good girl." I could practically see the smile on his face.
"Well, listen, dear- we just pulled into a gas station and we'll be traveling into mountains soon, but I'd love to hear more about this job and Las Vegas, okay? Have you called your cousins at all yet?" Before saying goodbye, I explained to her that I had, with all three, actually. David called me on my very first day at work. I was on lunch break, and being thoroughly stressed out, I was so glad that he had called. And of course he had called at the very best time for me. David was just smart that way. Well, he is the new CEO of my Uncle's company, so maybe that just goes without saying.
I had called my other cousins, Jenny and Bernice, the day after. Being polar opposites of each other, the conversations were quite different. Jenny was studying at a college in New York, or should I say, partying at a college in New York. My youngest cousin would have had a heck of a time with Beth and Sheila at The Pulse, if that explains anything. Jenny excitedly told me that she could not wait to come down to Vegas, and I carefully reciprocated her wishes without implying anything about "Clubbin," as she put it. I then told her how much I missed her and that I hoped her studies were going well, and the conversation was abruptly interrupted by some guy in the background saying, "Yo, Jen, you coming or not?", and she told me she had to go.
Bernice, on the other hand, characteristically and predictably held me on the phone for much longer than her siblings and her parents combined. Bernice was very much like her brother in that calculating, polite, and intellect way- but being seven months pregnant made her a little…unbalanced. She knew to call me at the right time, just like David, but not for a brief "How's Vegas?", but to get the complete story. I loved Bernice to death, but she could be very overbearing, especially now that she was hormonal. So I answered all her questions, told her to kiss the belly for me, and then passed out from a full hectic day at work and an hour long conversation with my cousin.
Satisfied that I had communicated with my family, I hastily took Beth's dress off and took a disgusted look at myself in the mirror. My makeup was smeared and my hair looked like a monster that had latched onto my head. I quickly jumped into the shower and let the hot water massage the knots in my muscles. Today would be one long day, what with all the things I'd need to buy for my house. The list was endless. Cleaning supplies, furniture, the kitchen had its own list, it needed so much stuff; and lastly, a car. It was really good my Aunt and Uncle loved me so much. A secretary who just graduated college would never be able to afford any of it without caring family.
I had just stepped out of the shower when the doorbell resounded throughout the house. Wrapping my sopping wet hair into a towel and grabbing a robe, I stumbled down the stairs and opened the door.
A few vaguely familiar faces smiled back at me from behind huge Tupperware's full of food. "Hi, we're you're new neighbors!"
My mouth seemed to stop working for a second, but soon gained its control again. "Wow! Oh, thank you, so much, I-" Two little boys ran past me, yelling nonsense to each other as they battled their way into my kitchen. A middle-aged woman with the biggest Tupperware full of food tittered and apologized quickly. "No worries, no worries; come in, please! Thank you all for this, you really didn't need to," I said as they shuffled into my house, carefully holding the deliciously smelling food. I guided them into my kitchen while they introduced themselves. Harry and Lena, from next door; Donny and Bill, a few doors down; Matt and his son, Jonah, from the house behind mine, and lastly, Patricia and her two sons, Cole and Alex, who were currently wrestling in my under-furnished living room.
I placed the food into my fridge, with a little difficulty, as Patricia scolded her boys. "No playing superheroes in Miss Emma's house! Please!" She turned back to me, sighing. "I'm so sorry, sometimes those kids are like monkeys. And me! I'm their zookeeper!" I laughed with the others, and told her I didn't mind. "You should come by later this evening," Patricia continued, "It's Cole's birthday and we're having a barbeque in our backyard. There will be other monkeys, too, but plenty of parents to control them, so you can just enjoy yourself and get to know everybody else from the neighborhood?" Her last statement sounded like more of a question, and I quickly accepted her offer with gratitude. "Alright, gang, well we should get going, so Emma can at least get herself ready without any more interruptions," Matt, a nice looking guy, said and clapped his son on his shoulder. "See you tonight, Miss Sherwood." I nodded in response, beaming, and led them all to the door. As soon as my guests were gone, I groaned as I remembered. Now that I had plans this evening, there was even less time to buy all the stuff that I needed.
I ran upstairs, hastily got myself together, and called the cab. Shopping would be easy. I've always been a very sensible spender. It was that coming evening that had my palms sweating and heart thumping at every turn around an aisle at Ikea and the grocery store. Calm yourself, girl. Jerry's probably not even going. And if he is…no. He's not. I was so distracted I had forgotten to even check off the items on my list- but when I pulled them out, I realized all the things were already bought and in the cab ride home with me anyways. The bigger things, like furniture and chairs and such, were to be shipped to my house in a few days time. Thank God for that. Cab drivers are awfully cranky on weekends. I giggled to myself when I thought about the look on this one's face when he saw the load of stuff I hauled to his car. I stopped when he glanced back at me.
After unloading all the new stuff, I once again climbed back into the cab, and informed him that this would be the last time he'd need my service, because I would be buying a car that day, thinking he'd take joy in that fact. I swear I saw a smile.
My Aunt and Uncle had already picked a car for me, as a graduation present. After stammering that I couldn't accept such a gift, plus all the help they were giving me financially already, they agreed I'd only pay partially for it. So all I pretty much had to do was show up and sign a bunch of papers. And, after I did said deeds, I found myself in a brand new silver automobile. I remember what David said about that brand new car smell; it was alright, I concluded. But I knew something that smelled better.
Ripping me away from my reverie, the salesman knocked on the car-my car's window, and gave me a thumbs-up. I nodded and returned the gesture before zoom! ..ing away, or much rather, pulling carefully from the curb and heading towards the familiar route to my home. It was now around five…I had time to get ready. Right? Getting a little dressed up isn't too impractical. It is a party, after all.
I pulled my new car into my new garage and raced upstairs. I pulled my hair out of its messy bun and turned the curling iron on before pulling off my sweats. I curled my hair carefully, delicately letting the curls shape themselves nicely. When I caught my own glance in the mirror, I laughed and said, "You're the biggest goof." After doing my hair and redoing my makeup, lightly, I slipped on the sundress that was only ever warn at Church. My old roommate Abby, had she been here, would've raised her eyebrow and knowingly say, "What are you doing?" And I would've replied, "I have no idea."
After rushing past my newly-stocked refrigerator, I realized I was going to a party, and not only did not have a present for the birthday boy, but had no refreshment, either. Exactly like a party crasher, I was going into unknown territory but had not plan. I reached inside the fridge and brought out a huge platter of homemade brownies that I think Donny and Bill had made- or maybe it was Harry and Lena- in any case, I would never finish them on my own, and would hate myself if I had. I grabbed my purse and took a huge puff of air, like I was entering a race. "Here we go," I coached myself, "You ready?" Outside, it was nice and warm, the sun beginning to set; I heard the sounds of a party before I saw it. Laughter and playful cries hit my ears as soon as I stepped onto the sidewalk. I then saw, in Patricia's lawn, the full effect. Balloons were scattered everywhere, and signs that read "Cole's Party!" stood proudly where everyone could see. It was actually really cute. They had taped pictures of arrows leading into the backyard so that the guests knew where to go. I followed the signs obediently.
Kids were running everywhere, making the impossible number of balloons scatter in every direction. I dodged the same two children that were in my house that morning. Cole and Alex ran like tiny wild men, apparently oblivious of everyone and everything around them, still playing their game of "superheroes." Although this time they did have actual toys instead of pretend weapons to play with. Parents stood by, looking slightly agitated at their kids but mostly happy, (I noticed the beers in their hands.) Music played in the background and tables of food beckoned me forward. I placed the brownies on next to the Spiderman birthday cake when Patricia found me. "Emma! So glad you could come. And you found use for Donny and Bill's brownies! Knew you'd probably not eat it all, I told them, but they wouldn't listen. They're the nicest guys though, really…" I nodded and smiled throughout all this, but really my mind was somewhere else. Patricia had taken it upon herself to introduce me to the entire neighborhood, and filled me in on as much gossip as she could fit in between introductions.
"Oh, that's Carrie and Michael- lovely couple, lovely- but they do love that hip hop music, especially on late week nights…Gene, bright boy, of course, but he never makes an effort to spend any time with other children…Lois and Katherine, almost eighty years old, isn't that crazy? And sisters, too! They've never spent a day apart…" Although knowing some of my neighbors might come in handy, I could only pay a little attention to Patricia's banter. There really was only one neighbor I had on my mind.
After a little while, Patricia invited me over to the dinner table, and she went to go help with the paper lanterns before the sun went down. I helped myself to some tasty looking food. All this time I had watched for him, keeping a secret eye out that any CIA agent would be proud of. But he never showed. I snorted to myself. Of course he didn't, idiot.
Patricia walked over to me. "Is something wrong, Emma?" I hastily shook my head, smiling, but a thought popped in my head. This woman seemed to know a lot about this neighborhood. Some might argue that she knew just a little too much about this neighborhood.
"Patricia…would you know if Jerry Dandridge is coming to this party?" I tried to ask nonchalantly, but I still couldn't meet her eye. "Oh, Jerry-" Instant recognition. "I don't know, I haven't spoken to him since he arrived about a month ago." I nodded, trying not to let my disappointment show as a flood of children ran for the jungle gym like it was their last chance of survival. "I will tell you this, though." Patricia dropped her voice. Bingo. This was what I was waiting for. He's married. He's got multiple girlfriends. He's a "regula playa," as I heard Sheila once refer to a guy in our office.
"He's awful quiet. And that truck he drives? It probably is worst thing a person could expose to our environment. You mark my words, my boys will be in coughing fits within a week." With that, she stormed off to break up another wrestling match between her two sons. I roughly let out the breath I had been holding and started to laugh into my plate while I played with little bits of rice.
"Having a good time?" My head snapped up. Here I had been ready for this all night; had been scouting the entire population of that party, had pumped myself up for any kind of confrontation, and still, he surprised me. Jerry Dandridge was standing directly in front of me with a beer in one hand and smiling that beautiful smile of his.
My breath faltered. I don't think I'd ever get used to those eyes, how they were so bewitching and true…how they broke me down so easily…
"You're here!" I said so quickly, and immediately chastised myself for being so stupid. Jerry's smile deepened. "I mean, um…" I shook my head at myself and wished for a miracle. Or maybe a rewind button.
"Yeah, I'm here," he reciprocated, his voice low and soft. If there really was screaming, giggling children racing all around us, and parents murmuring to each other, and music, I honestly had lost all track of that. The only thing I could possibly focus on was the man in front of me.
Without taking his eyes off of mine, Jerry continued, "You look very beautiful, Emma. I like that dress." I felt my smile waver.
Disbelief ran through me, but of course I murmured, "Thank you." Things seemed to be slowing down quite a bit. The colors of the balloons, lanterns, and the darkness of the impending night seemed to whirl around me, and the only thing that stood still was Jerry's form. I blinked, trying to sort out all of this blurriness, and I heard Jerry mumble something incoherent, then my name. God, I loved it when he said my name. I stumbled towards that beautiful voice, and felt strong arms catch my fall, and my face was laid against a hard chest. "Jerry…" was all I could muster before slipping away into the darkness.
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"Thanks a lot, but I've got it from here," I heard Jerry saying distantly.
Where was he? What happened? I opened my eyes slowly, but groaned immediately. I saw a fan over my head and tried not to get lost in its dizzying effects. I moved my fingers and toes- nothing broken. I looked down to see a virescent blanket covering the lower half of my body. I quickly removed it, and sighed in relief. Both legs still intact. What the hell happened?
"Yeah, I'll take her home as soon as she feels better. Tell your boy to have a great birthday, alright, Patricia." I heard a door close, and footsteps coming in my direction.
"Hey, you," Jerry's lovely face came into my view. I pulled the blanket back onto my legs, blood rushing to my cheeks as he continued, "Feeling better?" His tone was soft and I saw a pale hand come towards me before it cupped my forehead. Imagine the most pleasurable thing that could happen to you after a very unpleasant occurrence. Like drinking an ice cold beverage after being stranded in a barren desert, for instance. That was exactly how I felt when Jerry touched me, and though I was rather sweaty, his touch was a cool heaven. I closed my eyes immediately at the sensation and allowed myself to relax on- my best guess was his- couch. A small moan of relief escaped my mouth, but I was too out of it to care. Jerry said something then, but once again, I only caught my name that was said so perfectly from the voice of an angel.
"Hmm?" I asked, then opened my eyes. I realized that Jerry was smiling down on me, and like a smack back into reality, everything fell back into place. "Oh, um, God…what happened?" Jerry's face was all the more clearer now; and so were my surroundings. He slowly took his wonderful hand away from my face, and I felt lost without it. I sat up to see Jerry walk back from another room with a wash cloth.
"You blacked out at Patricia's party," he said, handing me the cold cloth. "Thanks…wow. That's never happened. I wonder why-?"
He sat in a chair across from me and answered my thought. "I think you locked your knees while you were standing there. It's probably my fault, too- you were pretty surprised to see me." Jerry's smile almost made everything blurry again- almost.
I smiled embarrassed out of my mind, because I knew he was absolutely right. I then remembered something. "Hey, last night…" My voice trailed off, and he raised his eyebrows in waiting. "What happened, exactly? I woke up late this morning, in my bed…and I…did you-?" I couldn't finish the question. But in my defense, I'd like to see anyone speak intelligently to this man without stammering a few times.
"You fell asleep in my truck, and I didn't want to wake you. So I carried you to your bed- I hope you don't mind." He sat so calmly, his words with such ease…his lips, perfectly parted; eyebrows pushed together to create worry lines across his forehead-
Get a grip, woman.
I shook my head, remembering his last statement. "No, I don't mind, it's just…how'd you get in?" At this, his mouth curled up at the corners, a smirk if there ever was one, as he retrieved something from the floor next to me. I got another whiff of that pure masculine, beautiful scent again, and tried to make my sigh go unnoticed.
He held up my purse and said, "I used your key to get in. Don't worry, I didn't steal anything." I returned his smile this time, as he put my bag back on the floor, and returned to the chair. "How do you feel?" I took in a big breath, closing my eyes to assess my body. I felt fine, actually. Great, even.
"I'm pretty good, maybe I'll try to-" Before I could even drop my feet to the floor though, my head spun again, and I laid my head down once more amongst Jerry's soft couch. "Oh," I groaned.
"Drink this," A low voice commanded me. I peeked out of my eyelids to see a tall glass of ice water in front of my face. I leaned forward to accept the beverage, taking small sips before slowly sitting up.
"Thanks, Jerry." He nodded, smiling, and leaned back into his chair, his legs casually resting on the small footstool in front of him.
Clearing my throat, I glanced around me, taking my eyes off of Jerry for the first time since I regained consciousness. His house was modeled almost exactly like mine, but all the houses in the neighborhood were pretty much identical. It was tidy and obviously recently acquired, and by a bachelor, at that. All of the basic furniture was placed in their respectful places but boxes and random pieces of home décor lined the walls. And, of course the widows were all painted black, but it was almost unnoticeable at this hour. I couldn't blame him for any of it. I remembered, vaguely, when my father worked the strip. He was barely ever home and if he hadn't had my mother, our house would have looked exactly like Jerry's. Nice, but…empty.
"I haven't really had time to set things up yet," Jerry spoke, and my attention was immediately his once again. "Not like you. Your skills put me to shame." That half smile of his… I looked down at the cold glass in my hands.
"Yeah, sure," I chuckled, "No, your house is fine. I like its simplicity." Jerry's grin lessened a little, but the lightness was still present in his eyes. I shifted, about to get more comfortable, when the television suddenly came on. I gasped loudly and almost dropped my glass of water, but then I clutched it- viselike- to my chest, eyes wide as a deer caught in headlights.
A bark of laughter resounded throughout the living room. Jerry laughed heartedly from across me, his elbows resting on his thighs. I narrowed my eyes at him, but couldn't help the grin that inevitably touched my lips. Laughing with him, I looked away from his mockery and said, "It's not funny!"
Regaining his suave composure, Jerry apologized. "Sorry," he said, though he did not look it. Not at all. "You must be sitting on the remote."
I searched for it under the blanket, and sure enough, there it was. "Oops," I smiled sheepishly, but my grin fell immediately from my face once when my brain finally caught on to what the reporter on Jerry's television was saying. Terror gripped me. "…Attacks now, have been reported throughout the city. No survivors or witnesses have come forward or have even been accounted for. Investigators say that the bodies of the victims all have similar puncture wounds that vary from the arms, legs, and neck. At least thirty bodies were found partially drained of their own blood, the reports say. This could be the work of an unlikely savage animal, or more likely, a psychotic killer."
The news cut to another reporter at one of the crime scenes. "Oh my god," I whispered and released a shaky breath, and turned the news off, unable to stand it any longer. During this whole time, I had subconsciously been aware of Jerry standing up from his chair and walking over towards me to sit down on the couch. So when I turned to face him, there shouldn't have been any shock nor surprise at his new choice of location, but there was. Very much so.
My gaze ripped itself away from the television and turned towards Jerry. I hadn't been this close to him, well…consciously close to him since he we had danced together. But that was entirely different.
Jerry's eyes, hardened and somber, stared into my face. I realized then that he had not been watching the news at all, but instead watched me as I had reacted from the horror of it all. His face was so grave, it was almost as if he was…apologetic, but directed towards me. I couldn't fathom it, but my hand found his without any thought. I softly placed my own on top of his, and felt the size difference between ours, felt the temperature difference, felt the raw strength beneath my fingers.
"Jerry?" I murmured carefully, shifting a bit closer. His only response was to look down at our hands. It was my turn to gaze upon him. We were only a breath apart now. His beauty was still shocking, and sent that electrical current down my body that left me warm inside. I could breathe in his smell all the more easier now. I took in his furrowed eyebrows, his sad eyes, his grim mouth. I knew the second he looked back into my eyes I would tremble at the intensity held within his own.
But he didn't look back up at me. Instead, he took my hand in his own, hovering over his lap. He turned it over to see the palm where a small white line still resided from that clumsy knife accident. I watched, heart beat escalating, as he cradled my hand with both of his own before bringing it to his mouth. I let out a shuddering gasp, eyes rolling in my head before automatically closing. He traced the scar with his lips, the most delicate, soft, cool lips upon my sensitive skin. Then, holding it even closer to his mouth, pressed a gentle but heated kiss into my palm. I exhaled shakily, as I felt the entirety of his godly lips and his surprising warm breath released into my hand.
Slowly opening my eyes; trembling, just as I knew I would, at the intensity of those piercing, smoldering dark eyes. Jerry held my hand in his lap once again and said, "I'll never let anyone hurt you. Do you understand me?" I nodded, ensnared in his powerful gaze. Then, his face softened, lips curling subtly at the bottom. He gazed into my face again, with a new air, roving from my eyes to my parted lips. He glanced back down to my hand before intertwining or fingers. "Come on. I'll take you home."