Chapter 8

The soft stroking of her fingers through his hair didn't wake him up completely, yet he noticed it. He relished in it for a while, before he gently took her hand, and brought her arm down to his waist. He kissed her lips softly, murmured a soft 'I love you' as he pulled her to him to rest her head on his shoulder and to let her sleep wrapped up safely in his arms.

She was so warm in his arms. The joy of this and the wonder of all the memories they had together made his lips curl into a smile. If she could see his face now, she would stroke his beard and kiss him, before softly asking him what he was thinking about. He'd whisper to her ear and she'd roam her hands over his body in such a way that his smile became wicked and he'd have to touch her at places he knew aroused her. Then he'd make love to her slowly. No matter what time of day or night, their sweet lazy lovemaking interludes held magic, the drowsy slumber of needed sleep accompanied by the warmth of their bodies, their bed, and their passionate hunger for eachother would combine into a delicious dream. Her quiet gasps and moans coming to his ears encouraging him to continue his carressings and as he'd kept on moving, a shuddering sigh would follow her silent intense release and then he'd halt his breath before moaning her name to her ear. She would dwell in his arms afterwards, sated and spent, their breathing would steady and they would fall asleep together again and continue dreaming.

He was about to start this slow dance, when he felt his body responding to her. Here and now, because she was back in his arms.

Back in his arms.

Back in his arms. How did she get here? Where had she been? Hadn't she told him? No logical explanation came to his slowly waking up mind.

Awareness struck him.

This wasn't her scent.

This wasn't her hair.

This wasn't Della.

" What the hell? " he threw back the covers, and yanked the unfamiliair arms from his chest.

" Laura! " He yelled at her. He sat up, rubbing his lips where he felt Della's kiss. " What are you doing ? What the hell are you thinking? Are you out of your mind? "

" I'm sorry, Perry. I ... " Laura moved from the bed trembling and put on her jacket to close it tight around her.

Mason stood up, infuriated, breathing heavily, fire shooting from his eyes, his hands squeezed into fists. " Get the hell out of here, Laura... You really don't get it, do you? "

" I was hoping I could comfort you. I thought you'd be fine with it. You were so sweet with me earlier..." she tilted her head. " It didn't really feel as if you were minding…." She walked towards him and reached out. " And I do still love you, you know that, don't you? "

" You love me? You don't know what you are saying, Laura... Dammit! You say you love me... You don't even know..." he paused when something struck him hard, real hard, " ...the meaning of the word….. Of course…."

' meaning of the word' 'without love'

" Perry….what ? "

'bad handwriting'

" Shut up... " He reached for the papers next to his bed, and read the note he had made when Della had phoned him. His eyes went through his remarks, and the text she had read to him word for word. " Of course… dammit! "

'big well-maintained building'

" Perry, what in the world….? " Startled by the screams of his employer, Ken ran into the bedroom.

" Ken! Get Paul on the phone for me…he should be in the office now..."

" But Perry …."

" Now! "

" What are you doing here? I showed you out ? I thought you were leaving? " Ken asked Laura while he pressed the numbers to phone the office.

" I was in his bed, when he got an idea…"

'familiair' 'not really down or anything'

Perry stared at her, and then growled in a low voice. " Don't. You. Start."

" Perry…"

" Get out! "

Laura briskly turned around and slammed the door on her way out.

" Perry, I have Paul here…"

He yanked the phone out of Ken's hand and looked at him with frantic eyes.

" You, listen to this too. "

'familair' 'reading glasses' 'bad handwriting'

" What have you got, Perry ? " Drake heard Perry's voice was oldfashionedly loud and hurried. The excitement was palpable. He knew he shouldn't feel the thrill he felt, but the chase was good, the hunting was about to start for real now.

'the rest, all the rest' 'the meaning of the word' 'not really down or anything'

"Paul, it's the doctor, the psychiatrist who treated Laura Robertson for depression, remember? He used ECT on her, shocktreatment, and so I accused him in the courtroom of misusing this treatment to get the woman he loved. Do you have the transcripts of the case there? "

" Yes…I got the copies here from Reston, just a second... "

" What's his name? "

" Hang on… " Paul heard Perry's foot tapping on the floor, " Dr. Emmett Michaels, Perry…"

" Emmett Michaels… dear God… Read the transcripts of my questioning out loud to me. The last question..."

" Just a second… wait… I have it here… You asked if he thought he was in love with Laura Robertson, then he didn't answer the question, then he was summoned by the judge, then he said 'yes, I am in love with her' and then you said ' love? Emmett Michaels, you don't even know the meaning of the word….' "

' Now that I have taken all that you value, your money and your love, maybe the meaning of the word will come to me even better than to you. '

The note Della had read to him finally made sense.

" Lord…." Mason closed his eyes. Dr. Emmett Michaels, who had lost all that he valued after the Glenn Robertson's case, he was prosecuted for quakery, lost his contact with the woman he loved, being Laura Robertson, his practise, his license, his eminence … everything he worked for … How confused, how angry was he, what could he do to Della?

" Is his adress in the files, Paul? "

" I started looking for that, but there seems to be no adress in here. It shouldn't be hard to find though. But, jeezz, Perry… "

" What? "

" If he used ECT on Laura Robertson for no good reason, then what the hell will he do to Della? "

Think, Mason, think. " Nothing, Paul. He can't do anything. He lost his license shortly after the case, so he shouldn't have access to the devices to perform ECT. He's without equipment to do shocktreatment. " I hope…

" Yeah, well, 'shouldn't' and 'hasn't' are two different things. And I reckon he doesn't need equipment like that to do something bad to her... " Shut up, Drake!

" Don't get started about that, Paul. Get your ass over here, we have to find him… Now. "

Emmett Michaels. Mason sighed heavily, and massaged his temples, like Della used to do when he felt a headache coming up. Yet his own hands couldn't do what her magical hands could. His headache became even worse.

He suppressed all thoughts that were coming up in his mind, just to let the most useful ones through. He had learnt a lot from the Robertson's case, about human behaviour, trust, betrayal and most of all about true love.

But he had also learnt about the very serious bad side-effects of shocktreatment, and that one of them was severe amnesia.

" Ken, phone Brock to tell him what we found, and get the adress of Emmett Michaels somewhere. Anywhere. "

" Right away…"

When he turned, he noticed Laura was walking to the frontdoor. " Laura? " he barked at her. " What are you doing? Where do you think you are going? "

" I called a taxi to get away from here. I really don't know what I am doing here anymore. "

He took her arm. " No. Stay here, and sit down…" Her brown eyes watched him angry and quizically, as he proceeded. " I need to talk to you about Emmett Michaels. "

" What? Emmett Michaels? My psychiatrist? " she lit a cigarette. " Why ? What about him? "

" He has something to do with Della's disappearance. "

She snorted. " Oh, sure. How do you know? "

" I just know. Tell me about Emmett, tell me where he is now. "

" I really don't know, Perry. After you found out what he did to me I found myself another doctor of course. I haven't seen him since. "

" Where does he live now? "

" At the same adress I suppose. He used to have a private practise somewhere up north. Shouldn't be too hard to find. Not even for your people. "

" What's the adress? "

" I don't know, Perry. I don't remember unimportant things like that, you know. A certain someone once told me to have my head clean of unimportant details, so that's what I do. It helps me…"

" Think. Where does he live now? "

Laura shrugged. " I really don't know. "

His blue eyes stared the steel stare to her. " Right. That'll be all. You can leave now. "

The darkbrown angry eyes in front of him darkened fiercely. " Don't you talk to me like that, Perry Mason. I'm not one of your staff. " She hissed at him.

" Don't you just wish you were... "

She narrowed her eyes, and pointed at him with her index finger. " Oh…. you… You know the only reason why I still want you, Perry, and why I will never stop chasing you, one day you will find out that I'm the best for you, and you for me. I just won't settle for less than the best. "

" Exactly my point, Mrs. Robertson. I won't settle for less either. "

Her shoulders sunk in just a little, before she turned from his gaze. He knew he had hit her hard this time, using the combination of his steel stare, the tone and timbre of his voice together with his words as a weapon.

As he watched her shoulders starting to shake, Ken ran to him.

" Perry, I have the adress of Emmett Michaels here. Brock had found it in his sytem somewhere. It seems Michaels hasn't moved. He just ended his practise, but he still lives there. "

Mason took the adress from Ken, grabbed his jacket from the hallstand and walked to the frontdoor, ignoring Laura who was obviously trying to get herself together again. " I'm going there now. "

" I'm going with you. " Ken grabbed his coat, and searched for his carkeys.

" No. You stay here to catch up with Paul. Go to this adress together with him, and I'll meet you there. Tell him to carry his gun. "

" Are you going there all by yourself? "

" Yes… why ? " Mason watched him quizically.

" Well, you can't drive, Perry, I mean… your knee…"

" Damn…" Then he turned to Laura. " You just called a taxi, right? "

" Yes, but…"

" Right, you phone another. I'll take the one you phoned... "

####

" Have you already seen what I brought you, dear? " Emmett Michaels' voice coming out of the walk-in closet startled her. He had been walking in and out of her room and closet for a couple of minutes now. She had ignored him succesfully, until now.

" No. I'm not interested…"

" Please, come in and see this. You'll love it. "

She sighed wearily and held her arms tight around her. Lack of sleep, feeling cold and lonely in Perry's absence, missing warm strong long arms around her, she walked to Michaels. He showed her a beautiful long red dress, with a V shaped neck and back, the skirt wide and wrinkled. Underneath the dress he held a pair of red heels, the color of them matched the color of the dress perfectly.

" How would you like to wear this? " he watched the dress approvingly " Why don't you wear this to diner tonight? "

" Is that… is that Armani? " she hesitated to come closer and then took the dress to feel the fabric. " My, it is…"

" Yes, my dear, it is… and I have a string of pearls to go with it. It'll suit you. Like all of this will…"

She reluctantly squinted at the clothes that were all around her in the high closet.

She tried to steady her appearance. The closet was hanging full with clothes of all brands she loved. And they were all her size. The heels all matched in color with the dresses and skirts hanging above them, and seemed to be all her size too. He had spent a lot of money and had gone through great lengths to get this wardrobe together, knowing her taste, knowing her size.

This was scary, really scary.

" Why? " She hurried to give him the dress back. She dropped it on the floor when he didn't take it from her.

" Why what, my dear? "

" Why, Emmett, why all these clothes, these shoes? Why take me away from home? What is it you want? "

" I want you to feel at home here, Della…" Emmett picked up the dress and hung it in the closet.

" But, this is madness … Emmett, this must have cost you a fortune. I'm not going to wear them, they're not mine. And I just want to go to my own home. " She followed him, walking into her room again.

" Home is where the heart is, darling, and this is where your heart is, right? Nice clothes, good food, pearls, your heart will be here soon… you'll feel better in a couple of days…" He put his arms up in the air, before he sat down on the chair next to her bed.

No. Not ever. Never.

" Is this because of Perry Mason? The Robertson's case, two years ago? "

" Well, no actually. Although he made me lose my job…"

" No he didn't. You performed ECT on Laura Robertson while that was not necessary. It was not even permitted, as I recall. He just stated a fact, and you lost your license and your job because you did something that wasn't allowed..."

" I took care of her! She was severely depressed before, and was feeling a lot better after she left this clinic. She was cured when she left... I cured her. "

" Yes, so you said. Are you very sure that wasn't just because she had some necessary rest and took the medication she ought to have long before? Took time to think about things? " she watched him closely. " You loved her, Emmett. Having her with you was for your own convenience, right? You wanted her with you, so you diagnosed her, and treated her in the way it suited you best? "

" I loved her. "

" So you said. "

" I love you. "

" Don't be ridiculous ... And if you really loved me, you'd take me home right now. "

He watched her intensely, then suddenly looked away and stood up. " You can walk out of here anytime…you know that? "

" No, I can't Emmett. The doors are locked. "

" Not anymore…I told Jennifer to unlock all doors. You're free to go. "

" Well, if that is so, than that is exactly what I am going to do right now. Walk out of here. " She picked up her jacket from a chair in the corner.

" And go back to Mason, " he stated.

" Why would you care? "

" Okay, you walk out of here…"

" Bye, Emmett. It was not nice meeting you again."

" However…" Emmett turned and faced her.

" What ? " Her anger rose to an unknown level.

" If you leave, I'm going to kill myself…" his big eyes examined her reaction. His eyes were all over her face, taking in every muscle, every pore. " Could you live with that, Della ? "

" What? " she stared at him in disbelief.

" It would be the same as killing someone, don't you think? Could you ever face Mason again, knowing that you killed someone? Killed me? Would he defend you if he knew you were responsible, guilty? That you really did it this time? "

" Don't be ridiculous. If you kill yourself, then you kill yourself. There is nothing I can do about it. I would not be responsible at all. And you know it. And Perry knows it. " she walked away to open the door, which indeed was unlocked. " You lost it, Emmett. "

He took a small shiny silverplated pistol out of his suitjacket and put it on the table. " I'll shoot myself… and you'll be to blame... " He sat down and watched her.

" You are insane…" she hesitated and walked back to the table.

" If that is so, then I'm of no use and you can leave me... " He sat back in his chair.

" You're blaming other people for the things you did and do yourself, you're not taking responsibility at all. You're pathetic. " She threw her jacket on the chair she had just taken it from. " Damn you! " She tightened her jaws, and swallowed the tears that were about to surface.

" Oh, does this mean you're staying? Does this mean you actually care about me? "

" No, I just think nothing is worth to kill yourself for. " She threw her hands up. " For earths' sake Emmett, you are a psychiatrist yourself. You know how it works… "

" Yes, well. Knowing about it doesn't always cure it, Della Street…" He stood up and smiled boyishly. Then grinned. " But, since you're staying... we could have some fun together… maybe you can get dressed for the occasion I had in mind… or should I say...undressed? " As he came closer, a shiver went through her body as if he was already touching her.

" Don't even think about it…" her fierce eyes watched him very carefully. Any moment, she was ready to lift her knee upwards to a place he was very vulnerable.

" You're so very soft…, " his eyes looked at something far away in the distance while his hand touched her cheek. She smelt a mixture of sweat and alcohol. His hollow eyes made her feel nauseous. He was really, really insane.

" Stay away from me..." she hissed at him, breathing heavily.

" You just want to be touched by only one man, won't you? "

" So…? "

" That man being Mason…"

" It's none of your business..."

" So, if I want to make love to you, I have to ask his permission? "

" Don't be ridiculous. "

" Hmmm? But you're his, aren't you? "

" I am mine. I'm the only one who decides about me…"

" So, if I want your body…"

" ...you'll have to wait until I give it to you…" she tilted her head, and narrowed her eyes. " Which very clearly will never happen, Emmett…"

" ...or I can just take it? " his breath was hot on her face. She turned from him, disgusted by his nearness. He grabbed her wrists.

She forced herself to swallow her fear and look into his eyes with a very cold gaze. Her voice was low. " If you just take it, Emmett, you'll have my body but you don't have me. Not ever. "

" Because that's meant for Mason, right? "

" For as long as he proves to be worth it, yes. "

As sudden as he grabbed her, he let go. She took a few steps away from him, and hugged herself with her arms tight around her. Her breath came out in quick gasps.

" Why am I here, Emmett? "

" You are loved by me, Della. I'm taking care of you, buying you clothes, shoes, perfume, your favourite champaign, your favourite food… I thought you would like that. "

" I don't want to be loved by you… Emmett. I still don't get it. Why am I here? Am I a substitute for someone, for Laura? " She didn't get his game. He was playing a game, but she didn't know why.

" I want to spoil you. "

" I don't want to be spoilt by you…"

" I want to know what love is, my darling. "

" I'm not your darling. " she whispered, turning away from him.

" … and I need a mother for my daughter…"