Same disclaimers apply …

A/N – I've got to say thanks for all the great reviews and messages! I'm trying to stay ahead of myself on this story and I'm averaging a chapter every couple of days so I'm promise I'm not stopping till it's fin! Reviews do spur me on though!

Four days later …

Mulligans Bar, Manhattan

"Did you invite her?"

I shake my head, there's something about Elliot's question that makes me think it wasn't the real question he wanted to ask.

He's talking about Alex. What he really wants to ask is why during this last case he's felt like I've been on her side more than I've been on his. I'm glad he didn't ask, I'm not sure what my answer would have been.

"She wouldn't have come tonight El and you know it."

He laughs. "Gone home to lick her wounds?"

I expect so. At least that's where she told me she was going when she called on her way out from her meeting with Donnelly. Her voice was scarily composed and completely faultless when she told me about her month long suspension, a complete turnaround from how fragile she seemed waking up in my arms – what was it, four days ago? After the night Sam Cavanaugh tried to kill himself.

"Liv?"

He's frowning, and I know he's been doing that a lot lately, like when he expected me to say something the other day when he and Cragen got down to it with Alex in the middle of the squad room, hurling insults and blame back and forth.

"What's going on with you?" He smirks, "I mention Alex's wounds and you've got that 'don't hurt my puppy' look on your face again, same as at the courthouse."

Munch and Fin left us after the last round, and ever since it's like he's been itching to have this out with me. We're back in the booth and both taking a long slow pull off our beers before he finally comes out with it.

"Ok Liv, I gotta ask …"

I say nothing. I'm pretty sure he's going to call me on this crush I have on Cabot, since it's more than any crush I've ever experienced before, I figure it must be obvious to anyone who looks at us.

"You took the call from Cabot yesterday, did she tell you she had a warrant?"

I sigh, work related, a lucky escape again. "I don't remember El."

And the scary thing is, I don't.

Ever since we awoke in Alex's guest room the other morning to the sound of our cell phones ringing simultaneously, mine from Elliot and hers the Cap, I've had trouble concentrating – especially around her.

I woke first, years of being in tune to the sound of Elliot's ringtone even in the deepest sleep. She was curled against my side; her fingers tightly wound into the material of my white shirt, moving restlessly just like the frowning muscles of her forehead.

"Alex."

On the one hand I wanted to wake her, to save her from whatever was going on behind those pretty lashes, on the other hand I couldn't promise anything she saw once she opened her eyes was going to be any better

She smiled ruefully, and then released the death grip she had on my chest, before whispering softly, "Tell me it was all a dream?"

I've never wanted to lie to someone more. Luckily she took my silence for an answer.

"Oh well, can't blame a girl for trying."

And just like that we both went back to work.

"Cabot …"

"Benson …"

It's the last time we had the chance to be alone together. Even now I'm wondering why I'm here with Elliot, watching Mulligans' finest cop-clientele trade their stories, when I could be all the way up town knocking on Alex's apartment door in the hope that once that door closes behind us the woman who I saw there the other night might return.

That would be against the rules though.

Instead I've stood by and watched over the past few days as her walls came down again. First in the squad room after Barnett's Attorney filed his motion to dismiss, it would never normally be me telling her that a complaining witness who's banged up in Sing Sing on an assault charge for paedophilia is hardly the best to stand for the prosecution on this case but it's like she suddenly lost all sense of herself.

Petrovsky gave her three days, and whilst I could see she was back in her 'ADA' clothes courtesy of a great assistant and the returned dry cleaning she keeps in her office, when we drove out to Sing Sing to interview Benjamin Tucker her face still seemed desperate and she couldn't look at me.

She couldn't look at me then and she couldn't look at me after Elliot and I returned from seeing Linda Cavanaugh at the hospital. She hasn't really been able to look at me at all, seems all she's been able to do the last few days is yell.

"Liv, where's your head at?" Elliot asks, chinking his bottle against mine. "It's your round." He points out; clearly we're not done yet.

Up at the bar I can feel his eyes boring into the back of my head, and when I return 30 seconds later he's wearing a smug shit-eating grin.

"You look happy?"

He shrugs. "I worked it out."

That sets off panic inside me, which in turn leads to further silence and a distinct blush. I don't know why, I've nothing good to blush over – I really wish I did, I'd also like to know where my smart retorts have suddenly disappeared to!

"Worked out what El?"

"You and Cabot."

I just about manage to stop beer spurting out my nose. Maybe if I play along he'll drop this, maybe he's fishing, lets see?

"What about me and Cabot?"

He leans in close. "A few months back … remember, that case you and Fin worked with the cop impostor?"

I nod, I don't know what he thinks he's got on us, Alex didn't even work that case since it went to IAB.

"Well …" God he looks so smug. "I was in court with Alex the day before, she said she had a dinner date, something fancy." He pauses, "Her eyes were all distant … like that!" He points to mine now. "Next day I ask her how the evening went she says it was a bust, over before it even started … the guy got called away …"

"She said it was a guy?" I couldn't help myself, the words flew out my mouth before I even got the chance to stop them.

If he thinks he's got me then his face doesn't betray it.

"Next thing I'm hearing from Warner that you turned up to the crime scene in an eye catching number, what were her exact words? … Liv … dress … and sparkly come to mind." He grins, obviously deciding whether or not to cut me some slack. "And no, she never actually said it was a guy."

I can't help the smile that slips from my lips. "So it's a crime now to accompany a co-worker to a benefit dinner?"

He slouches back into the booth, a little blown. "Cabot took you to a benefit dinner?"

"Uh huh, fundraiser for a new refuge centre for women and children uptown." I'd feel guilty for how contrite he now looks if it weren't for how smug he'd seemed earlier.

That and the fact I know 'I' certainly read more into it than just a co-worker accompanying another co-worker to a 'thing' they had.

She mentioned it to me over dinner a few weeks before. We'd been leaving the courthouse together with the subpoena for a witness who was in the wind. We put her and her son on a bus to Dallas a few weeks before in order to try and protect them, then when they got there she never checked back in. Somewhat defeated we ended up across town near my place eating tapas and drinking tequila. She's funny when she lets her hair down, and it was so spontaneous and a little defiant – the way she grabbed my arm as we walked down the courthouse steps, slipping her hands around the sleeve of my leather coat and effectively blurring the lines even further.

"Fancy some food Liv? There's this fantastic little Spanish place I haven't been to in months, it's over by yours and I could really murder a Margarita."

I could never say no to her. Ever.

She was ordering a second round of drinks when her fingers slid across the tabletop and cautiously touched my arm, drawing my attention away from an amazing plate of Calamari.

She looked nervous, I remember because it was so uncharacteristic.

"What's up Alex?" I asked, since I needed a way to take my mind off the fact she was touching me.

She looked at her fingers, then slowly raised her eyes to look directly at me. "I have … this … thing …" She stated slowly, carefully accentuating each and every word. She made it sound like she maybe was dying or something.

I guess I must have looked pretty concerned, "Alex, what is it?"

She laughed a bit, grateful for the reappearance of our waitress and more tequila. "It's a charity benefit, my uncle and two of my cousins sit on the board and so it's very much expected that I attend, and," She paused to draw a long intake of breath. "Since this year they're actually raising money for something worthwhile … I wondered … if you might agree to go with me? It's at The Plaza …" She added softly, pushing her fingers into my arm a little harder. "It should be a laugh …?"

I could think of nothing I'd rather do, well, except maybe kiss her right there in the restaurant as she sipped her cocktail coquettishly through lips pursed into a sly smile. It's the first time she ever gave me any inclination there was something more to this 'friendship' of ours on her side as well as mine.

"Alex …" I grinned, subtly moving my arm so that my hand came to rest on top of hers. I squeezed it reassuringly softly. "There's nothing I would like more than to be your date to an overdressed charity function full of people who's housekeepers probably make more in their Christmas bonuses than I do in a month!"

She chuckled, and right there and then I decided I'd make it my life's work to make her laugh like that, it was such an adorable sound.

"Good." She grinned, snatching a ring of Calamari from my plate. "Because I was worried you'd think you'd be out of place."

Elliot's staring at me like I have three heads, it's fair enough, the last time he tried to get me to attend some NYPD function I nearly blew his head off and those are 'my' people.

"Since when do you get willingly dressed up for a dog and pony show and hang out with those society sorts Liv?" He asks, a bit frustrated.

"Since Cabot asked me …"

"So she just asked you and you said yes, just like that, out of the blue?"

"Yes … well, no, not completely out of the blue …" I can't lie to him, unfortunately, I've never been very good at lying to him. If he thinks I do a good 'hurt puppy look' he should consider where I learnt it from. "There might have been a dinner or two." I admit. "And a Knicks game …"

"You took Cabot to a Knicks game." He pauses, open mouthed. "You're dating her!"

"I am not dating her El, we're friends, that's all."

"Yeah right." He's answering faster now, it's harder to keep up with him, tougher to not trip myself up. "People who look at each other the way you two look at each other cant just 'be' friends."

I'm not sure what he means by that, but maybe it'd help to find out.

"Huh?"

"That … that …" He searches for something, but the words aren't there. "That's why you've not been fighting with her lately!" He says suddenly, his lips curled at the sides. "You don't need to fight with her anymore because you're both getting your kicks in other ways?"

For a Catholic man I'm surprised.

"El, I'm not sleeping with her, I'm not even dating her …"

"But you'd like to be?"

And there it is, the one question I can truthfully answer, so I nod.

He shrugs, two fingers in the air towards Johnny at the bar, signalling we'd need two more cold ones. "So … what're you gonna do about it?"

I called her the day of the benefit to try and scope out what she thought I should wear. I'm not one for fancy dresses, I can do a nice black number for a date, but I got the distinct impression Alex's family and high society folks were more designer one-offs than my department store staples.

She seemed so keen to have me come, without feeling out of place, that she offered me free reign on her wardrobe.

"Look Liv, why don't you come to my apartment about six, I've an entire closet full of dresses that deserve to be worn, you can take your pick."

"Is that what you're wearing?" I asked, a hint of flirtation in there that I couldn't hide.

She laughed. "Now? … no, now I'm wearing a pants suit that's too tight and heeled shoes that are killing me! But tonight, yes, once I've dug out the obligatory pictures from the last three years benefits to ensure I'm not wearing one I've worn before – that's what I will be wearing."

I chuckled. "That's the price you pay for beauty Counselor." Meaning her painful shoes.

She laughed again. "I suppose it is."

I had it all worked out too; how I would be the perfect date that night, funny, entertaining, engaging. We dressed and got ready in her apartment over a couple of glasses of wine and she picked out the silver sequinned dress, not exactly my choice but something in her eyes told me she really wanted me to wear it. I'd made sure my evening was all hers, Fin and Munch were catching and with Elliot prepping for the case he and Alex were in court with the next day it was a sure thing to expect no interruptions.

Watching Alex work a room is a bit like watching magic happen, and for once I didn't feel completely out of my league – after all what's an SVU detective at a benefit raising money for abused women and children if not a match made for conversation.

And I like to think a little bit of her enjoyed watching me being fawned over, like she'd brought the most impressive prize and I belonged completely to her. It could have seemed possessive, if not for the fact she simply kept stating how much she was enjoying having me there.

Then dessert came and the Cap called and I was stood under the Washington Bridge in a silver sequined dress all thoughts of Alex, temporarily far, far away.

"It's all Munch's fault." I mumble, having forgotten for a moment that Elliot was still with me.

"You what?"

I'd trust Elliot with my life, I suppose I might as well trust him with this. "He broke his ankle." I mumble, "If he hadn't then things might have been …"

Different? Better?

If I was already in Alex's life in the way that I'd like to be, would it have changed anything that's happened over the past few days?

I look across at him, suddenly there's somewhere else I'd much rather be. "I have to go Elliot."

He grins. "At a girl Liv …"

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