Thank you so much for your reviews. I really appreciate it. Feedback always helps and motivates a writer! :]

Sorry for the really late update, I've been busy with school and moving.

I hope ya enjoy!

-Crimson

Redemption

Chapter Five – Remission

So much pain.

"What should we do with him?"

"We need to keep him alive." A voice drawled slowly, "He, Valentine and Strife are the key to getting Rufus Shinra back, we need them alive."

"What is so special about him?! He's just a washed out-"

"The planet gave him a second chance, and I need to know why. No matter what I've done, no matter how dangerous the mission was he never died – Why is it that the planet keeps him here?" The voice sounded insulted, maybe even hurt.

Tseng's eyes fluttered open suddenly, and he was relieved that he was back in reality for the time being. He didn't know how much time had passed since he had been able to rationally think, and he wasn't even sure where he was. His head was throbbing and he could feel blood trickle down from the new wound on his forehead. His stomach felt like it was in a tight knot and he felt like he could barely breathe. Every breath he took made his chest tighten up.

So cold.

The pain started to resurface in his mind and before he realized it he heard himself start scream uncontrollably. His vision started to blur and the only thing he was conscious of was the pain he felt all over his body. His veins felt on fire and the pain in his head made him feel like he would explode any second.

His vision changed from the room he was in, and he knew now he was no longer in reality. He felt the process happen all over again. The shoes he had seen moment ago were replaced by a street.

He was walking up a doorstep and opening it without warning. He was met with the sight of a little girl holding a stuffed moogle against her chest. She was questioning him with her innocent brown eyes, but before she could even open her mouth, he shot her dead in the chest. She tumbled down the stairs and landed with a loud thud. A blood pool started to form out from under her, and her eyes were dead and cold.

Her mother came running in the room and screamed at the sight she saw. She looked at him with pained and angry eyes, and right as he shot her as well, she screamed "Monster!" She fell beside her daughter, and he only stood there a moment longer to make sure no one else was in the house. He didn't spare the mother and daughter another glance as he walked out of the door.

It was like he was being forced to watch his sins over and over again.

Tseng felt like he was losing his mind. He couldn't escape from himself – he saw every innocent person he killed, and it seemed the more and more blood he spilled, the more it stained his mind. He heard someone speak, but he couldn't hear what they said. It sounded like a soft buzzing in the back of his mind.

To Tseng it seemed that not even a second later that he hit a hard surface. He lay there, not even attempting to move, because he wasn't in that room, or wherever they had thrown him. He was walking down a different street now. He could still feel the pain. His heart was racing and instead of feeling cold like he had a minute ago he felt like his whole body was on fire. Every breath he took felt like it was killing him – he just wanted it to end.

He wanted to die.

Rufus wasn't sure to be relived or nervous as he and Reno made their way down the sidewalk leading to the Seventh Heaven. No words had been exchanged between the two of them on their way back, and Rufus was almost positive it was because Reno's nerves were just as wrecked as his own. He knew that the red head had been sneaking glances at him every few minutes, and the ex President felt a small pang of guilt for the disbelief that Reno held.

Rain started to pour down as the two of them made it under the safety of the Seventh Heaven's roof. Rufus' nerves were beyond wrecked at this point and it was painfully obvious that Reno's were as well. The ex president wanted to say something, but his voice betrayed him. What words could be exchanged that made the situation any better? He couldn't think of any sarcasm or jokes – he couldn't think of anything. It was then he realized how much the Organization had an impact on him. He had been so used to not talking, that it was almost like he forgot how.

Reno's voice broke through his sudden stream of thoughts, "After this…" he gestured to the bar behind them, "are you coming back to Junon?" The question was simple, but Rufus felt like he was being hit by a bus as he contemplated what was just asked of him.

Rufus felt a small feeling rise in his chest, and he wasn't sure what it was. Was he ready to go around seeing everyone he tried to forget? Seeing Reno again made him feel like the world had suddenly started spinning upside down. He wasn't sure how he would react to seeing all of them. However, he knew what the real problem was – he wouldn't be seeing all of them. There would be an empty place where Tseng should be, and Rufus wasn't sure he could handle that in his state of mind.

He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He cast his Turk a look of uncertainty and then walked in the bar, not even giving Reno a chance to try and pester him. He could feel the stare he was receiving from the red head, and Rufus was thankful he didn't have to see his face.

When he stepped into the bar he almost stopped dead in his tracks and walked back outside. But he couldn't do that because Reno was directly behind him, and he probably wouldn't have gotten far anyway. Reeve and Yuffie Kisaragi were sitting at the bar, and of course their eyes landed on him. He stopped in the middle of the bar and looked at them, not sure what to say. He was surprised when Reno merely walked passed him and went to sit next to Reeve, he didn't even look over at Rufus, he just sat down and faced the bar.

"Wow." Yuffie said bluntly, "What the hell happened to you?" She crossed her arms and then cast a glance over her shoulder to Tifa, who was standing behind the bar, getting ready for the evening rush – "You said this is him? Doesn't even look like him." She mumbled the last part and then gave Rufus a one over look. She stopped at his eyes, and he saw her smirk, "It really is you." She said with a shrug, she looked over at Reeve and rolled her eyes at him, "C'mon Reeve, got nothing to say to your VP?"

Reeve ignored her and continued to stare at Rufus. He had a misty look in his eyes and he didn't seem to even be listening to the ninja next to him. After a few awkward moments of silence, he finally smiled. "Welcome back." He said evenly, not taking his eyes off the ex president in front of him. "I'm glad to see you're in good health."

For some odd reason, Rufus frowned. Good health? He looked like he was in good health? Could they not see? Were they not able to understand that he was a monster? He gave Reeve a nod of acknowledgement, and then walked over to the bar to sit a few seats away. He didn't know why, but he couldn't find his voice.

Did everyone think he was alright?

He held back a bitter laugh as he stared at his hands resting on the bar. All he saw was innocent blood that he could have never even ordered his Turk's to kill. All he saw was scars and death – what did everyone else see? Some man that was in "good health" because he wasn't spewing out his guts? Could they not see the scarring on his mind? Could they not see anything? Were they blind?

He was happy to see that Reeve at least seemed happy to see him, and he wasn't too surprised by Yuffie's reaction. Somehow though, he felt slightly bitter. He couldn't help it, the feeling came up and was almost like an acidic feeling in his throat, and it started eating at him. Were they all ignorant enough to believe he was alright?

"Do you know where they are?" Yuffie's voice broke through his thoughts, and he realized that within the time he had been thinking, she had moved over and sat next to him. Her black hair was now shoulder length long and she had even adapted a new style of clothing. Her short shorts were gone and replaced with black jeans, and her knee high boots were not down to the ankle. She wore a gray shirt that was loose around her shoulders and it was apparent to Rufus that she was no longer a teenager anymore. When he looked at her eyes he saw a strange fire in them, almost like she was ready to burst. He didn't say anything, because he wasn't sure what to say. He couldn't go around telling people where they were being held captive – he couldn't be the cause of innocent people dying.

"You don't have a fucking answer?" She said bluntly, ignoring the stares she was now receiving from everyone. He could feel the anger radiating off of her, and he himself started to get a little pissed off at the girl. He tried to ignore her, and hoped she would go, but of course she didn't. "Where the hell are they?!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. She slammed her fists on the bar counter with her statement, and she looked ready to attack him.

"Yuffie!" Tifa interjected, walking over and giving her friend a small glare, "You need to calm down right now –"

"Sorry Tifa! I'm not gonna sit here and not do anything!" The small ninja interrupted her friend and gave Rufus her full attention again. "Tell me where they are." She said again, still glaring at him.

Rufus found that he was more than a little pissed by this point. His hands had clenched into fists without him realizing it, and he started to feel hot. He couldn't answer her, and he was more than pissed because he didn't understand who the hell she thought she was.

"If you don't say something, I swear I'm going to – "

"Shut. The. Hell. Up." Rufus emphasized each word slowly, his voice shaking in the process. He finally turned to face her, and he held her gaze with his own glare.

"Who the hell do you think you are!?" She screamed at his face. He could see that her eyes were starting to water, and it suddenly dawned on him that she must have been trying her best to hold herself together. "You can't just disappear for three and half years and then suddenly reappear like nothing fucking happened! You were where my friends are at! And I will beat the fucking answer out of you if you don't start talking soon!" She was so close he could feel her breath on his face.

"That's enough chick." Reno hopped off his barstool and then walked over to where Rufus and the ninja were sitting. He placed his hands on Yuffie's shoulders and then pushed her away slowly. "Throwing tantrums isn't going to solve anything, yo."

"Shut the fuck up turkey, I want to know where my friends are!" Her grey eyes seemed to be storming and Rufus was almost captivated by the emotions she wasn't afraid to show. He looked at Reno who was now staring at him. Suddenly Yuffie took a deep breath and then looked Rufus dead in the face, her voice was defeated, "I just want them back." She looked at Reno then, "You spent three and a half years looking for Rufus, you never gave up…any lead you went after. I'm just doing what you did…Tseng's gone too, don't you want him back?" She was now looking at both of them, her voice sounding more childlike as it used to.

Reno looked at Rufus once again and then nodded his head toward the door, "Let's go yo."

The ex president stood up slowly, and almost lost his footing when he realized he was trembling. He shoved his hands in his pockets and tried to clear his mind of the place he no longer had to be a part of. As both he and Reno walked across the hardwood flooring the echo of their footsteps seemed deadly. The bell rang as the door opened, and it was then Yuffie decided to speak once more;

"If they die Rufus Shinra, you will be no better than the people that took them."

The door slammed behind them with that and Rufus felt his breath get caught in his throat. The rain was still pouring down in a never ending torrent and it seemed to be representing the mess of a mind that was possessed by Rufus Shinra. Reno stopped walking when they reached the porch, the door closed behind them and the red head turned around to face the ex president.

Rufus said nothing and thought back to the event that had just unfolded. What was he suppose to do?

He had to do what Miles said; he had to destroy the machine they used.

"Bossman?" Reno's voice broke through the thoughts bouncing around in Rufus' head, "Junon?"

The ex president was still for a moment. His mind went to locked away faces that he had tried to forget. Elena and Rude – Tseng wouldn't be there, but those two would be. He reflected on how everyone had said that they'd never given up, that they kept looking. He took a deep breath and then nodded, "Alright." He said, his voice betraying no emotion.

He just hoped he was ready to be crushed.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"It wasn't my idea, it was the planets."

"Yeah but…." Zack scratched his head, "I dunno…"

Aerith smiled over at her companion, "Well, that's what it wants, so we can't deny it that. We're the messengers."

The raven haired man nodded, "Well, I guess we should go find him."

The ride to Junon was very smooth, both physically and mentally. Reno hadn't pressed him with questions or even said much. He commented on how Junon looked the same for the most part, aside from the drop in population. However, other than that there wasn't a lot to say.

"Be warned," Reno began suddenly, "Elena might end up pestering you about where you've been eventually…a few things changed once you were gone. She and Tseng…well he put a ring on it."

Rufus blinked stupidly for a moment, "You mean they got engaged?"

"Yeah. So, I'm just warning you that she's gonna want to know…"

Rufus nodded and then thought back to what Reno had just told him. He shouldn't have been surprised considering Tseng and Elena had always had a thing for each other, yet thinking about how life really did move on hit him in a strange way. He thought back to how Elena had always seemed like a puppy following Tseng around and almost smiled at the memory.

The city was in sight a few moments later and Rufus felt his stomach turn when he saw the WRO building. He hadn't seen that building since he had been taken. He looked over at Reno who was staring straight ahead, silent.

"Ya know," Reno started, "Reeve wants to organize a welcome back party for you, he sent me a text earlier saying that he thinks it will be good for the public."

"Good for the public? Why would that be so 'good' for them? So they can see me and wonder why they're loved ones aren't back?" Rufus rolled his eyes, "Tell Reeve no."

"It's not suppose to make them wonder, it's suppose to give them hope."

"Hope? Hope for what? They'll think I bought myself out, or they'll think that the WRO found me." He shook his head, "That's a stupid idea, I won't do it."

Reno glanced over at the ex President and narrowed his eyes slightly, "I wasn't asking you whether you wanted to or not. I was telling you of an idea that Reeve told me." It grew silent for a few seconds, and as the helicopter landed on the top of the WRO building, Reno spoke again. "We looked for you for three years – I banged on every front door I could find. I looked in places that almost got me killed, so did Elena, so did Rude, and members of AVALANCHE did too. You can't even tell us where you were so we can save the other people we've lost – so you can at least give something back to the people who have been sitting and wondering for the past three years, you can at least give them hope, whether you think it's stupid or not."

Rufus glanced over at the red head and he hopped out of the helicopter. He couldn't help but feel a little angry at the sudden 'party' that they wanted to plan, and he felt a little agitated with Reno's reaction. Couldn't at least one person understand that the last thing that the world needed was some trophy?

Rufus slid out of the helicopter and landed with a small thump. They were on top of the WRO building and even though Rufus had been there at least fifty times before, he felt like he had no idea where he was. He looked over at Reno was standing by the door that lead to the lower levels, waiting for him.

He made his way over there and then thought back to what was said a few moments ago. "I just don't think that my face will suddenly change the world. I don't think it will help people sleep better at night."

Reno shrugged, "It wasn't my idea, it was Reeves. I'm just telling you that everyone has worked hard and if this is the one request you get, you should just do it."

They walked down the stairs in silence. Reno's attitude had almost changed completely from being friendly to almost hostile. When they walked down a few flight of stairs Rufus felt his chest tighten up with anxiety. The building felt the same, looked the same, and even smelled the same – he thought back to all the times he had climbed the stairs he was now walking down and all the times he walked through the hallways. It felt unreal.

Reno stopped suddenly, which made Rufus almost run into him. He saw that his Turk's hand was on the doorknob they were standing in front of and he could feel a strange aura pulsing away from him. "Can you at least tell me anything that might mean something?" His voice was quiet and dull, and slowly he turned around to face the ex president.

Rufus blinked and then felt his hands start to shake. He shoved them in his pockets and then tried to look Reno in the face. He hadn't actually looked at him the whole time they'd been on the way to Junon, and it was then he realized that he had black circles under his eyes, and how he looked exhausted. His red hair was more of a mess than what he remembered, and it was almost like looking at a shade of a person.

"I was being held where everyone else is." Rufus said quietly, his mind trying not to break with memories of the horrid place he didn't even want to think about. He felt his insides twist and turn and all of a sudden he felt like he was going to hurl.

"What does that mean though?" Reno pestered, his voice starting to regain some of its power.

"It means that I know where everyone is." Rufus said while trying his best to keep his composure. The thought of that place began to terrify him in ways that he didn't realize. Reno's blue green eyes were on him and waiting and finally Rufus started to slip away from the humanity that he had held onto for the three years.

He felt his control slip away, and suddenly he didn't care if people saw him for what he was. He was nothing but a shell of a man. He owned a mind that was scarred and broken and he couldn't begin to even understand how to get passed what he was feeling.

"Bossman?" He heard Reno's voice but he didn't see him anymore. His vision started to flicker with memories and he felt so sick that he had to grab his sides to keep himself from screaming. He felt someone grab his shoulders but he didn't know where he was anymore. "Rufus!" He could hear Reno's voice but he couldn't see anything. He felt himself slip away from reality and slowly everything around him felt fuzzy and unreal.

He could feel the vague feeling of someone shaking him, and the echo of a voice – but he was gone.

Rufus Shinra broke.

This took forever again. I can't believe how slow I am. I was in the process of moving three states away, graduating high school and other stupid stuff. But now I should be good to go and am in the process of working on the other chapter as we speak!

Please be patient and I promise that from now on there will be an update at least once a week, if not more.

Also, if anyone is interested and has some free time, I would really like to make an actual book cover for this story. I would love to have Rufus look like the one I've described and if anyone ever wants to take a stab at it, please PM me and I would LOVE to hear any ideas.

-Crimson