Disclaimer: I don't own, I rent.
A/N: I see it may have been kind of confusing, the way I set this story up, but I wanted to note that "present day" in one chapter, might not be the same "present day" in another chapter. They are all basically working independently, if that makes sense? Would it be more helpful if I added a date to each chapter, just to let you know when it takes place? I'll try it for this one, let me know if it's helpful! I also fixed a few typos and added dates to the first two chapters. Enjoy!
As always: lyrics – flashbacks – present day.
Chapter Three
"Fearless"
December 2008
There's something about the way
The street looks when it's just rained
There's a glow off the pavement
You walk me to the car
Three days. I told her I wanted to be with her three days ago, and she's barely said a word to me since. I knew this was a mistake. I knew I shouldn't have risked our friendship like that. Now I wouldn't have her in my life at all, let alone be in a romantic relationship with her.
I sighed once more; thinking the intern on the other side of the room was probably starting to wonder if I was okay with the amount of sighing I'd been doing. Not to mention the trashcan I'd kicked as I walked into the room. I never did that. I've been spending too much time with Jane lately, I thought to myself.
"No such thing." I mumbled under my breath. A quick look at the intern told me he either didn't hear me or pretended not to. Good. That's the last thing I need today, interns asking me to spill my guts to them. No thank you.
I heard footsteps coming down the hall and glanced at the door as it opened. Just as I had half hoped and half feared, it was Jane.
"Hey."
I replied with a pleasant enough 'hello' and silently wondered if this would be the last conversation we ever had.
"Can we talk?"
I followed her into my office, careful to shut the door behind me. She took a seat and I lingered behind, unsure of what was coming, and therefore where would be an appropriate place to sit.
"Are you going to sit?" She asked me, gesturing to the spot on the couch next to her. I made my way toward her, avoiding her eye the entire way; I sure this was going to be the end of our friendship.
"Do you want to go on a date with me?"
She asked me like it was the simplest thing in the world. Like I shouldn't have expected anything else to come out of her mouth then. I felt my jaw go slack and tried my best to recover before she noticed. Of course she noticed.
"Sorry, I just…I assumed you would want to. Since you asked me the other night and all. I know I should technically just accept your invitation, but I was really hoping I could take you out. I've been thinking about it and I just really want to do something nice for you. But if you don't want to anymore, maybe you've changed your mind. We don't have to. It's okay. I shouldn't have assumed."
I realized I had yet to reply, but the words just wouldn't come. I nodded my head enthusiastically, desperately trying to say the words.
"Oh. I see. I made Dr. Isles speechless. I didn't think that was possible." She laughed at me. Here I was, freaking out and she is laughing at me!
"Is that a yes, then?"
I nodded again and she laughed once more. "Okay, I'll pick you up at seven."
And you know I won't ask you to dance right there
In the middle of the parking lot
After dinner that night, Jane took my hand as she walked me back to the car, then put her arm around me when she saw me shiver a bit in the chilly December air. Being just a couple days after Christmas, the city was more quiet than normal, much of it's residents spending time with friends and family, rather than out and about.
Just before reaching the car, Jane suddenly stopped, pulling me around to face her. She had that grin on her face, that one that said she had an idea that I probably wouldn't be so keen on.
"Dance with me." She said it so matter of fact, so confidently, so determined.
"There's no music. And we're in a parking lot. Really Jane, the restaurant even had a dance floor and you want to just make our own here next to a Buick and a Volkswagon?"
"Yes."
Before I knew it, Jane's hands were wrapping around my waist and I instinctually placed mine around her neck, resting my head against her chest. I let her take the lead, moving me around the parking lot. After a few moments, I heard her barely whisper "Did I tell you how beautiful you are tonight?"
I felt my smile grow wide and gave a small chuckle, "only five or six times."
"Good, because you are gorgeous."
"Thank you, Jane."
We're driving down the road
I wonder if you know
I'm trying so hard
Not to get caught up now
As the drive to wherever Jane was taking her passed, conversation flowing easily, as it always did. She didn't even cut me off when I dove into an explanation of the wine we had with our dinner and what made it so unique. Normally she would have told me to quit the Googlespeak and talk about something more interesting. But tonight, she just smiled at me and squeezed my hand. I could get used to this.
After a while, silence fell over the car and I began to let my mind wander, thinking of all the possibilities in my future, now that Jane wanted to be a part of it. Most people found it surprising, but I was never one to think about the future. Of course, I had thought about the future in terms of my education, my career, my social responsibilities. But I never thought about my own personal future, never considered the idea of marriage, of children, growing old together. But Jane made me want to think about these things.
Still, there was a reason I had never considered marrying anyone. It wasn't because I hadn't found the right person, even though I knew now that until Jane, I hadn't, because when I was with Ian, I was certain he was the love of my life. He was it for me. But still, I never even considered marrying him.
I'm just not the marrying type. The idea of being obligated to spend the rest of my life with someone, why would anyone find that appealing? People grew; people changed. People grew apart. How on earth could two people be certain they would grow and change together?
My parents had thought they wanted me, they had adopted me, but somewhere along the way, they had obviously changed their minds. And could their marriage even be considered a real marriage? They spent more time apart than they did together, that's probably the only reason they hadn't considered ending their life together. They didn't really have one.
And even Jane's parents, who I had always thought made such a wonderful couple, they couldn't make it work either. So how could I? I am more emotionally damaged than any of them, how on earth could I possibly sustain a healthy relationship?
Jane made me want to try though. She always had that effect on me, making me want to be a better person. Try new things, even make some friends. I had never really had friends until I found Jane. She had always been the exception to my rules; maybe she would be the exception to this rule as well.
Why am I even considering this right now? Marriage, kids, the future, on the first date? Even though we've been out countless times together, treating the other to dinner was nothing new; this was still technically our first date. There would be time for thinking about this later. Right now, I would enjoy this, because I'm certain, nothing else will ever quite compare.
But you're just so cool
Run your hands through your hair
Absent-mindedly making me want you
I glanced to my left to see Jane smiling as she concentrated on the road, one hand on the wheel, one hand running through her hair, not in the nervous way she normally did, but in a confident way that made her look simply irresistible. She looked over at me, and when she caught my gaze, she smiled and grabbed my hand again, giving it a small squeeze.
"So where are you taking me?" I knew she wouldn't tell me, but curiosity got the better of me and I couldn't resist asking her once more.
"You already know the answer to that, Maura. Can't you just let me have my fun?"
Our first date and she already knew I couldn't say know when she looked at me like that. Of course, there was a lot Jane knew about me that I would never reveal on a first date, but for some reason, it didn't scare me as much as I would have expected. Jane felt comfortable.
Being with Jane was like being home.
And I don't know how it gets better than this
You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless
And I don't know why, but with you I'd dance
In a storm, in my best dress, fearless
Lying in the grass was something I would never do. Never. God only knows how many grass stains I would have on my dress when I got home. Not to mention the dirt and the bugs. Then there would be bugs in the house. Which would spread to everywhere else. No, I would never do this.
But she was so excited about it, when they pulled up to the clearing on top of the hill, Jane had parked the car and pulled a giant blanket out of the trunk and laid it down in the grass, then took my hand and led me to the spot. To say I was hesitant would be an understatement.
"Uh, Jane. What are we doing?"
"Come on, Maura. Lay with me. It's a beautiful night, I promise, I won't let you get too dirty."
I glanced around nervously before letting out a sigh. Just another thing I would have never considered doing without Jane. Slowly, I sat down next to her, letting her guide me down to her, settling my head against her shoulder. It was a beautiful night, Jane was right about that, and as soon as I felt Jane take my hand, I forgot about all the dirt and bugs and grass and let myself enjoy the moment.
"Maura, I…" Jane started to speak, then paused as she propped her head up with her arm, turning to face me, her other hand still secure in mine. "I just want you to know, I'm not taking this lightly. You and me, I mean. You're important to me, and I just hope you know how much. I want to take this slow and I want to do this right. I don't want to screw it up. You mean too much to me."
Seeing Jane like this was a rarity, one I knew never to take for granted. It wasn't often that Jane opened her heart up like that; I knew she hated to be seen as anything but strong and unbreakable. Expressing her fears was never something she was very good at, so I took a moment to appreciate her sincerity and trust before responding.
"That means a lot to me. And of course I know how much you care about me. I know you would never hurt me or upset me on purpose. And I trust you. I trust you to take care of me and be honest with me." Pausing, I reached up to tuck a stray curl behind her ear, and then softly kissed her cheek before returning to my previous position.
"I trust you." I repeated again, keeping her gaze with mine and squeezing her hand. She smiled at me, and realizing no more words were necessary, she laid back down next to me, pulling me toward her and wrapping both her arms around me. I nestled my head against her chest and closed my eyes, feeling more at peace than I had in years.
So baby drive slow, until we run out of road
In this one horse town
I want to stay right here in this passenger seat
You put your eyes on me
In this moment now, capture it, remember it
The drive home went much faster than I wanted it to. Normally nights out with Jane never had to stop at the drive home, she would nearly always come in for a beer and we would sit and talk until we were too tired to stay up any longer. But that was my best friend Jane. Now she was my girlfriend Jane. And everything was different now.
So I didn't complain when she walked me to the door and pulled me into a hug that ended way too soon.
"I'll see you in the morning. Do you want me to pick you up for work?" I nodded and she hugged me once more and whispered into my ear, "Goodnight, Maura."
"Goodnight, Jane." I replied, and she turned to go home for the night.
"Wait." She turned around to face me, still grinning that smile that made me weak in the knees.
"Yes, m'lady?"
I would have laughed had I not been thrown off guard by her decision to leave a few moments ago.
"Aren't you going to kiss me?"
This had been a date, right? I hadn't imagined that. Dates ended in kisses. Well, usually my dates ended in more than kisses. But of course, after their conversation earlier, that wouldn't be happening tonight. But surely slow didn't mean no kissing on the first date.
"Good things come to those who wait, Dr. Isles."
She winked at me and walked to the car once more and I stood watching her car drive away until she faded into the night. I was certain of one thing; I had never met anyone quite like Jane Rizzoli.
Well, you stood there with me in the doorway
My hands shake, I'm not usually this way
But, you pull me in and I'm a little more free
It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really something
It had been five days since our first date and we had already been out twice since then, and still no kiss. But tonight, it would happen, no matter what. I would make sure I got what I wanted.
It was New Year's Eve, and I realized, as I thought about it, I had never actually had a New Years kiss. The last couple years had been spent celebrating with Jane and her family, and before that, I was always asked to attend one of my parents' parties. Most people there were either married or completely drunk by midnight, so a kiss was out of the question.
But this year, Jane and I would be alone, celebrating at my house. I had been preparing all day, making food, renting movies, and picking out the perfect outfit. And tonight, it would happen.
Just before six o'clock, I heard Jane open the door and call out to me. I checked my appearance once last time before heading downstairs to meet her.
Seven hours later, Jane was pulling me outside saying she wanted to ring in the New Year under the stars. I could still here the faint sounds of the Times Square countdown playing on the TV inside. The snow began to fall slowly around us as she pulled me into a hug and began whispering in my ear.
"Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven."
I could feel her heartbeat against my chest and savored the moment of being in her arms, certain nothing else would ever feel quite like this moment did.
"Six. Five. Four. Three."
I slowly pulled back from her embrace and looked into her eyes, wanting to show her how happy I felt in this moment.
"Two. One."
She closed the distance and captured my lips with her own. It was soft and sweet and gentle and perfect.
Jane was right, good things did come to those who wait.
It's fearless
A/N: I hope y'all liked this one! If you ask me, there's nothing better than the beginning of a relationship and writing one for these girls was especially fun. Please review and let me know what you think!