Disclaimer: I don't own, I rent.

As always: lyrics – flashbacks – present day.

A/N: This chapter takes place on Jane's wedding day, about a week or so after she and Maura meet again after two years apart. I realize the lyrics are kind of awkward with this one, you basically just have to imagine all the pronouns are different and just take the idea of them, rather than take them literally. Enjoy!

Chapter Eleven
"Speak Now"
January 2013

I am not the kind of girl
Who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion
But you are not the kind of boy

Who should be marrying the wrong girl

Jane is getting married today. I still couldn't believe that she was actually marrying someone else.

It wasn't like I expected her to wait for me or anything. I didn't even expect her to stay single. Who wouldn't want to marry her? She is kind. She is wonderful. She is perfect.

I just didn't expect it to feel like this.

"Jane, wait!"

I ran out the door after her, and to my surprise, she stopped.

"Please. Don't go."

"Maura," she took a deep breath, "It's too late."

And at that very second, I felt my heart break into a million tiny pieces. Logically, I knew this couldn't really happen but I now understood the metaphor.

Sitting on Jane's left hand was a small, beautiful, devastating diamond ring.

My lungs were surely collapsing. That was the only explanation I could come up with for why I couldn't breathe. She was still standing there, staring at me, as if she could see my mind turning, connecting the dots. She is engaged. To someone else.

"You…You're getting married?"

"Uh, yeah. Um…on Saturday."

Saturday?!

Saturday is five days from now. She is getting married in five days.

"Saturday. Wow. That's so soon."

"Yeah, well. I should go. Mark is waiting for me."

Mark. She is marrying someone named Mark.

I tried to call out to her as I watched her walk away, but I couldn't seem to find my voice.

What was I going to do?

I sneak in and see your friends
And her snotty little family all dressed in pastel
And she is yelling at a bridesmaid
Somewhere back inside a room

Wearing a gown shaped like a pastry

It was Saturday afternoon and I was no closer to figuring out what to do about Jane. I know I should just let her be happy, but could I really let the love of my life marry someone else without at least trying to get her back?

I need to at least apologize. Tell her the whole story, everything I had ever kept from her to keep her safe from Richard. She had a right to know why I walked away.

I called the only Rizzoli I could think of that might still be willing to talk to me. When Tommy answered, it took quite a bit of persuasion to tell me where the ceremony was taking place, but finally he in.

"But you better not hurt her again" were his final words before he hung up the phone.

Getting in my car, I drove to the other side of town as fast as possible, determined to tell her the truth before it was too late. When I arrived, I snuck in the side door and walked down the hall as quietly as I could and peered in the one room with an open door.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw Jane standing there alone, staring out the window. She looked absolutely beautiful. She was wearing a simple strapless off-white dress that fit her perfectly and pooled into a short train behind her. It was so perfectly her.

"How did you find me?" she asked without turning toward me. Her question shocked me, I hadn't known she had heard me walk in, let alone knew who it was.

"I saw you pull in the parking lot," she explained.

"Tommy."

"Remind me to uninvited him."

"Jane, please, just hear me out."

"No, Maura, I can't do this today. I can't have you here. It's hard enough to get married just knowing you're out there somewhere, let alone having you standing right here. I just can't do it. Please don't ask me to choose you."

"I wasn't going to."

"Then what?"

"I just thought you should know the truth. The whole truth, not the half-truths I've been telling you all these years, the real, 100% honest answer. Before you do this, I just want you to know."

She didn't answer, but moved to shut the door behind me, then sat on the couch on the other side of the room. She gestured for me to sit next to her and I took a deep breath, praying to every single God I had never believed in that I could make this right.

This is surely not what you thought it would be
I lose myself in a daydream where I stand and say

Don't say yes, run away now

I'll meet you when you're out of the church at the back door

Don't wait or say a single vow

You need to hear me out and they said speak now

"I got married once."

It was a simple statement, but even in just admitting that much, it felt like a million tons had been lifted from my shoulders. She looked shocked, but didn't ask any questions, so I pressed on.

"His name was Richard. I went to Vegas for spring break my last year at BCU. I didn't really want to go, but the other girls in my suite invited me along and it had been so long since anyone asked me to go out with them, I didn't want to say no. So I went."

I twirled the ring on my right hand, pausing for a moment in case she had any questions. She didn't. She just kept staring at me, a look of surprise gracing her features.

"One night, they wanted to go to this bar, so I tagged along. I had never really drank before that night, I had only turned 21 a few weeks before and I got drunk a lot faster than I would have expected. The girls kept buying me shots. I really don't remember much of it though. Next thing I knew, I was waking up in some seedy motel room with a ring on my finger."

She still hadn't said a word. Her silence was actually a bit frightening, but I kept going.

"It turns out, Richard had been stalking me. I didn't find this out until much later, but he was obsessed with me, he had been following me around and when he found out we were going to Vegas, he followed us there. When he saw me drunk, he took his opportunity to make his move.

"I was mortified. I was going to go to Harvard, you know. But I couldn't, I had to get away from Boston. I told my parents when I got back and they hired the best divorce attorney they could find. He wouldn't agree to an annulment, of course. Every step of the way, he kept dragging his feet, wouldn't sign the papers, wouldn't agree to anything, wouldn't show up in court.

"He said he loved me. I know he didn't though. I didn't want anything to do with him, but he kept following me. Before I came back here, I had been moving around most every year, just to make sure he didn't find me. Especially after what he did to Ian, I couldn't risk that happening again.

"He kidnapped him. Beat him. Threatened him. I just couldn't risk that happening to you. I wanted to tell you, but I knew you would go after him, I knew you would hunt him down until you found him and I was scared something would happen to you. I just wanted to keep you safe."

I'm sure I was forgetting parts of the story, but I knew she had gotten all the important parts. She sat there in silence for a few more minutes before finally speaking.

"Why now? Why would you come back now?"

"He's dead," I replied simply, staring at the floor in front of me.

I heard her let out a sigh and she shifted next to me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her hesitate before setting her hand on my leg. "I wish you would have told me. I wish you would have trusted me enough to protect you. To protect myself."

"I do trust you!"

"You don't. If you did, you would have told me. Then we wouldn't be in this mess."

"He would have killed you."

"I would have killed him first."

Our eyes met for the first time all day and I couldn't escape the pain I found in them. I felt the tears start to fall down my cheek and watched her reach up to wipe them away.

"I wish I could go back. Do it all differently."

"Me too," she agreed. "But we can't. And I'm supposed to get married today. I love you, Maura, you know I love you, you know I will always love you. But I can't just pretend nothing happened and go back to how it used to be. Too much has happened. And Mark is a good guy; I do care about him. I can't just…I'm supposed to get married."

"I know I have no right to ask you not to do this. I gave up that right a long time ago; I know that. But I don't want you to get married today. I want you to give me a second chance. I want to prove to you how much I love you, how much I care about you. But because I love you, I just want you to be happy. So if this is really what you want, if this will make you happy, I won't say a word. I will leave now, go back to New York and never talk to you again, if that's what you want. Just look me in the eye and tell me he makes you as happy as I did."

"You know I can't do that."

"Then you know I can't leave."

Fond gestures are exchanged

And the organ starts to play a song that sounds like a death march

And I am hiding in the curtains

It seems that I was uninvited by the lovely bride-to-be

I slipped out of the room before she could say another word and walked back to my car, sat in the drivers seat and turned on the air conditioning. Even in the bitter Boston cold, I felt like I was on fire.

I still had no idea what to do.

She wasn't happy with him. That was what she said. If she was happy, even though it would be hard, I could walk away. But I can't just leave knowing she's not happy and knowing it's my fault that she is even in this position.

Richard had haunted me enough when he was alive, he had ruined every relationship, I would not let him rule my life from beyond the grave too.

He may have ruined my relationship with Jane once, but if I left now, that was on me, not him.

Guests began arriving and just a few minutes before five o'clock, I made up my mind. I shut off the engine, grabbed my purse and walked back inside.

She floats down the isle like a pageant queen

But I know you wish it was me
You wish it was me, don't you?

From my spot in the back corner, I watch as she makes her way down the isle and I wonder how she is feeling. Is she disappointed?

Once upon a time, she had planned on me being the one standing across from her, not this Mark guy.

And of course, he was gorgeous, with his blond hair and green eyes and well toned musculature. I couldn't help but notice the MD after his name in the program.

He was basically me.

So maybe she wasn't disappointed after all. Maybe it was what she wanted all along, the male version of me. Had I kept my mouth shut and never told her how I felt, maybe she could have had both of us.

But as she passed me, she caught my eye and I knew. I knew she was wishing I were the one at the other end of the isle. I knew, because in that moment, I felt like I could see into her soul. I could see exactly how she felt.

Of course, she felt hurt and betrayed because I had left. But I could also see that she loved me. She loved me more than she had ever loved another, more than she probably ever would.

I could practically see her eyes begging me to give her a reason to run out of here.

I hear the preacher say speak now or forever hold your peace

There's a silence, it's my last chance

I stand up with shaking hands, all eyes on me

Horrified looks from everyone in the room

But I'm only looking at you

This had never been my plan, to show up here, interrupt the ceremony, cause I scene. I didn't cause scenes. It just wasn't something I had ever done, nor was it something I ever wanted to do. But here I was, standing in the isle, everyone in the room staring at me. I tried to determine the look on Jane's face, it was filled with shock, but I was certain I saw the tiniest bit of hope.

"What are you doing?" she asked, it was barely more than a whisper, but in the deadly silent church, I heard her just fine.

"Don't do this. You can't do this. We belong together, Jane, and you know it. I know you love me. We can fix this. Please don't do it."

Tears were streaming down my cheeks faster than I could wipe them away. I saw her quickly look at Mark, then at Angela sitting in the front row. I could see her hesitate and I was sure it was over. She chose him. That was it for me.

I turned to leave and just as I reached the door, I heard her.

"Wait!"

I stopped, my heart was pounding and I was holding my breath. This was one of those moments, one that was going to determine the rest of my life and I knew it. Half of me couldn't wait to hear what she was going to say, the other half terrified she was going to tell me to leave her life forever.

Slowly, she made her way to me. When she got close enough, she pulled me through the door, then reached out her arms and put them on my shoulders, looking me in the eye.

"Don't think this means I forgive you because I don't. I am still so mad at you that I don't even have enough words to describe it. But you were right. I do love you and I do think we belong together. And I know I will regret it forever if I don't give you another chance."

Could this really be happening? Did she just run out on her own wedding? For me?

"Jane, I…"

But I couldn't get anymore out because the next thing I knew, she was kissing me. Her kiss was unlike any we had ever shared before. It was raw, full of every emotion both of us have been feeling for the past two years. Her arms snaked around my waist, mine around her neck and I held her as tight as I could, as if she would slip away like a dream if I let go.

"It's not going to be easy" she said when she finally broke away from me.

"I know. You up for the challenge?" I asked her, remembering the first night we met. I could see she was remembering it too when a faint smile appeared on her face.

"Jane Rizzoli never backs down from a challenge."

So glad I was around when they said speak now

A/N: I don't know about you all, but my fangirl heart is very happy right now. There will be one more chapter, an epilogue, but then I'm afraid that will be it for our little journey. I hope you guys have enjoyed it as much as I have and please don't hesitate to review! Oh, and please let me know if there is anything you are still unclear on and I will try to address that in the next chapter.