Author's Note: Still don't own anything. And thanks to those who favorited and alerted. As of 45 minutes ago, it's my birthday - feel free to leave a review as my present!
They're at the tables again, he and Jack. Blair joins them after an hour in a shimmering gold Herve Leger that is tighter than her usual and makes him tense with the apparently endless want he has for her, anger for her using that desire against him, and pain that she feels she needs to.
They haven't gotten back together (the 'yet' always lingers in his mind), but she's been there on and off for two weeks, spending some days in Paris working with her mother, and the rest of the time in Monaco with him. (And every Euro he wins brings a satisfaction he can't express, even though it's not like it comes directly out of the royal family's pocket.)
When she's gone, it gives him space to breathe, and he's glad of it. Then he thinks how bad a sign that is for their relationship, that wanting her with him all the time would indicate a truer love. But then he remembers the desperate possession he felt when he was losing her the very first time, back to Nate, and again after the hotel debacle, and tells himself that he definitely doesn't want that feeling back.
Besides, he knows it's good for her. When they dine together, she tells him about the search for the new designer, learning what few parts of the business she hadn't learned cold years ago to connect to her mother, and how she'd like to expand the brand in the future. She seems animated in a way he hasn't seen her in a while, and that makes him happy.
But that's only when they're discussing Waldorf Designs. When he's talking about his plans, she smiles at him and adds her perspective on his planned takeover, but he learned to match her eyes and lips during a period of surreptitious warfare in sixth grade (before they agreed to share custody of Nate on the weekend), and they could belong to two totally different faces right now.
He doesn't yet know what her deceit means, though, and has become afraid to ask. If it's his working with Jack, he understands. It's only the thought of his own crimes, and the mercy he received from those he sinned against, that have allowed a measure of forgiveness between them—enough for them to occasionally join, as now, against a common foe.
But if she actually wants him to stop trying to reclaim what he worked so hard to keep together under circumstances that would cause most 19-year-olds to give up after a week, well, that's just not going to happen. He's glad she's building her own future, but he doesn't want either of them to play the wife anymore.
He just wishes she would tell him what's wrong.
Author's Response to Anonymous Reviewer: Thank you for reviewing, kaia, but I respectfully disagree. While Blair should have broken up with Dan before telling Chuck she wanted to be with him, that doesn't mean she isn't aware she hurt Dan, and doesn't mean she doesn't feel badly about that. Else why would she be trying to contact him so much? That's what I was basing my fic on. Also, your opinions are just fine, you don't need to say they're the opinions of many to make them more valid. I don't work at Gossip Girl, so I don't care what large portions of fandom think (besides, I never believe anyone who says that sort of thing without a statistically relevant random sampling poll to back them up). I care about my opinion, and yours, as you took the time to share it with me.