Disclaimer: No. Go somewhere else and leave me to angst over how I do not own Marvel.
This is an answer to a prompt on Norsekink and a cannon!AU:
"Scourge; 1. a whip or lash, especially for the infliction of punishment and torture. 2. a person or thing that applies or administers punishment or severe criticism. 3. a cause or affliction or calamity (disease and famine are scourges of humanity)
Loki is the Scourge of Odin and the most powerful sorcerer in the Nine Realms. When someone truly angers him, Odin sends Loki to met out punishment. The position has given Loki great power, but he hates it. It isn't the magic he dreamed of performing for Asgard when he started learning spells. Odin also commanded him to secrecy (a misguided attempt to prevent Loki being feared by the Asgardians).
Loki can create plagues that wipe out entire populations, famines that starve entire planets, extinctions or overpopulations (locusts ect) that devastate entire ecosystems, and calamity's that change the very shape of the land (wars and natural disasters). Odin keeps the Nine Realms in check with the threat of these.
When Loki called himself a "monster" he really meant it - the revelation of his Jotun heritage enough to finally push him to say what he's thought of himself and the horrible things he's committed across the Nine Realms in Odin's name. It's also why he tried to destroy Jotunheim, along with destroying a part of himself he hated he was acting out a punishment he truly thought would please Odin.
When Odin has need of his services, he goes to Midgard to give Loki orders - in front of the Avengers. Thor is horrified to learn Loki is the Scourge all in the Nine Realms live in terror of.
Thor munches happily at the apple he swiped from the kitchen not too long ago, humming in content as his bout of hunger is slowly being satisfied - he still has a whole bag of apples to devour so he pays no mind to the alarming rate he's consuming his bounty at. He treks back to his room while moonlight spills into the hallowed halls, discoluoring everything with an pale blue. His feet slap against the marble floors harshly, disrupting the silence of the night - not that he really cares, no, Thor has food to worry about. He never has truly appreciated the more delicate art of stealth, preferring instead to rush headlong into the heat of a battle, the familiar weight of Mjölnir singing in his calloused, war-worn hands. Battle is a glorious time for fun and laughter, his fun and laughter, and he hates to think of it being spent as a time for skirting around the edges, hidden like a coward.
Not that there is anything wrong with such tactics. His brother uses them quite often and begrudging as he is to admit it, Thor sees somevalue in the more unconventional methods to win a war. Its just that warriors of Asgard are to be known for their strength and valor, not their dishounor - that is, if they had any - and deceit.
'Oh well,' Thor sighs. 'Some do battle, others do tricks.'
Speaking of his brother, Thor's steady pace stutters to a slow stop before two gold doors covered in a thin layer of green magic. The doors had closed some time ago and they haven't opened since. He knows, he's checked them regularly and even Mother had given her account that she must have been one of the last to see Loki before yet another of his isolations began. Concern flickers briefly across his face and Thor quickly finishes his apple, barely restraining the urge to toss it over his shoulders. The servants have already gone to bed and his mother would have his head if she found out that an apple core had been left of the floor thanks to his own impudence.
Stuffing the core into a leather, drawstring bag he kept on his person, he raised one meaty hand - such a contrast to his brother's hands, they are so tiny compared to not only his but everyone's hands, including mother's - and rapped gently against the door.
Three months. It's been three months and since then, Thor has seen less and less of his brother until one week, he never saw him at all. Then the tricks started and harmless as they were, Loki really only indulged in some of his 'fun' when he was bored. Though, that seems to be a highly improbable conclusion. Loki is not simply bored.
And even when suffering from boredom, Loki never locks himself away.
"Brother?" he calls out softly, worry settling deep inside him. Loki hasn't been present for any meals and Thor wonders if Loki has eaten anything at all. Horror washes over him at the notion and he dismisses it to the darker depths of his mind, instead telling himself that Loki is smart, that Loki in all his meticulous glory would at least know to tend to his body's basic needs. He procures another apple - also stolen - and waits patiently for a response. Loki isn't what most would describe as vain, but he has a slight obsession with making sure he is presentable and impeccably dressed. Thor is not one for fashion nor will he ever understand the need to look 'good'.
Frowning when Loki fails to make an appearance after a minute, he tries again, louder this time, "Brother? Are you well?"
Still nothing.
Louder still.
"Loki, are you there?"
After another answer of silence, Thor's worry escalates. Loki would never take such a long time, no matter how haggard his appearance is. He seriously contemplates the chances of him succeeding if he strikes the closed doors with Mjölnir which is dangling at his side from his belt, ready to be used. He grasps the handle, but lets his arms fall when he realizes that maybe waking up all of Asgard at such an ungodly hour of the night would be a bad idea.
Seeing no other option, Thor knocks again.
"Brother?"
This time, he presses his ear against the ornate doors, his breath stuck in his throat as if the smallest sounds would drown out any signs of life behind the barricade between him and Loki. Thor might not be as smart as his brother, but he is by no means a complete idiot. He knows when something is not right, when what appears to be normal is actually the very opposite. He is not blind, he hasn't been living with Loki for so long just to have the subtle clues and gestures fly over his head. No, Thor can almost feel the shift in the air, the way the sky darkens.
He raises his hand to bash against the door, and if they still do not open, he will use Mjölnir to pry the doors open, protective wards or no.
What he doesn't expect is for Loki to finally pull the door fully open.
His fist doesn't have time to avert its course and before both of them can process the situation, Loki's staggering back into his room, spindly fingers cradling his nose.
"Loki!" Thor exclaims in surprise, rushing to his brother's side, "Forgive me, I had not meant to-"
"Thor. Thor! Thor, please! Not so loud," Loki hisses venomously, green eyes bright and all too vivid. Thor apologizes once more, quieter this time, knowing that the irritated look usually means Loki is suffering from a headache. Usually he would step away slowly, knowing better than to disturb the younger when he is in such a state. It usually ends very well for Loki and not so well for Thor.
"Are you alright?"
"I'm fine."
'Liar,' Thor think as he scans his brother's face, taking in the dark angry rings under his eyes, the sickly tone the skin holds that looks almost ashen and gray in the moonlight and the inky tendrils of hair, laying haphazardly over Loki's forehead.
A frown crosses Thor's lips as he ushers Loki onto his bed despite the younger's vehement protests and claims of being perfectly fine. His frown deepens, the skin at the edges of his mouth creasing. Loki's arms have always been thin and lean, but they have never been so deprived of fat or muscle that he can feel the bones beneath. Something is amiss and he will not let his brother's honeyed words and sharp tongue change that.
"You have not been sleeping," the Thunderer whispers, unnaturally soft and gentle. Loki tenses in his arms and Thor feels his worry escalate. An expert at reading gestures he is not, but even he sees how uncomfortable Loki is. His brother is hiding something, that much is certain and while it doesn't surprise him, he still has the right to be concerned, even if there is a smidgen of anger tossed in the mix at the prospect of Loki having to feel as if he has to keep certain things from his own brother. Whatever it is, Thor is eager to find out. He doesn't take too well to secrets, especially those that leave his collected brother quivering and trembling from the force of keeping them, well, secrets.
"A minor sacrifice."
"To what?" and it's hear that Thor nearly roars. He has no patience for the games Loki is all too willing to play if it means that no one will bother him.
Loki's lips twitch, elegantly curving into a tired smirk, "I have been participating in an...experiment of sorts. It's in the delicate stages at the moment and you are quite fortunate that you had chosen to barge in when the experiment was in no immediate danger of being ruined."
The inflection in his brother's voice is off and it does not escape Thor's notice.
"And are you willing to tell me the details of this 'experiment', you say?" Hands curl into tight fists and his mouth is a hard, grim line. He already knows the answer.
"No."
Thor makes a noise, a cross between a grunt and a sigh. Honestly, he can only endure Loki's games for so long. It always comes to a point where his brother is talking circles around him, prodding him to frustration or holding his hand as they walk completely off course of the original point of the conversation.
"Why not?"
"It is a secret," Loki shrugs, closing his eyes and bowing his head, hiding the purple bags and the hollow cheeks from Thor's sight. There is a flash of anger that overtakes his vision, blotting out Loki, the bed and his brother's room with red. Anger has always been a close friend of his, staying in his stomach like a lump of useless coal until something ignites it and sparks begin to fly. It's boiling and ever present, every motion sending sensations through his blood. The burn of it is familiar enough to appear comforting, but intense enough to be terrifying.
"I do not like secrets." His arms cross over his chest and he steels his expression, the sweet siren song of anger almost too much fro him to ignore.
"I know," Loki breathes, giving him a half-smile that gives him a tired and worn look on his face. His brother is only a few centuries younger than him, nowhere near old enough to hold those glints of age inside his eyes. This man in front of him does not have any likeness to the mischievous boy Thor had grown up with.
"Will you sleep, at least?"
"I give no promises."
The frown on his face is more than enough for Loki to hand his head, a decidedly hangdog expression adorning his taut features. Thor sighs and tips Loki's head upwards with a thick digit beneath the other's chin. Green meets blue and Thor can hear the way Loki's breath starts to grow shorter, the way Loki stares at him with anxiety-ridden orbs almost as if his own brother was afraid of him.
How ridiculous.
Thor tries to smile - but he knows it comes off more as a grimace than anything else - and covers Loki's smaller hands with his own, promptly engulfing the Trickster's palms and fingers.
"At least let your body receive the proper sustenance."
With that, he turned on his heel and left his brother to his thoughts. If he had stayed longer, he would have seen the way Loki examined the apple in his hands, scrutinizing the glossy sides and thin, weak stem. If he had stayed longer, Thor would have seen Loki plaster a genuine, authentic smile on his face. If Thor had stayed longer, he would have heard the barely audible laugh ring through the air, bouncing off the walls in the silence of the night.
If he had, he would have heard two words being whispered, the sounds and vowels trailing after his retreating form before dissolving, becoming lost and led astray before they can reach his ears.
Loki gazes blankly at the stone wall in front of him, unconsciously shivering when he finds the shade of dark grey too close to murky blue ice he touched on Jotunheim before they were dyed scarlet.
So cold, so very cold...
For the rest of the night and the better part of the morning, he stays slumped over with his knees drawn up to his chest and his head buried into his arms for hours, never quite noticing the golden light when it trickles into his room, bathing his bed in honey. He is too far gone, too far deep in the recesses of his mind to take heed of the outside world. The corner isn't a place for such trivial matters.
The corner is for much simpler, but invaluable purposes.
He can think in his corner, sort out his thoughts and let the pain ebb and flow away. He can recuperate and reconstruct his facade of calmness and indifference piece by piece and make it seem as if nothing happened. He can compartmentalize his already fragile sense of being and sanity, conscientiously building his mental shields back up to protect himself as well as others. In the corner, he can recover and be okay.
In the corner, he is safe.
He sighs, finally feeling the almost lazy tugs of sleep as it tries to drag him down into darkness. He is safe, he is safe. He can sleep, there are no monsters - with the exception of one - around him and he is safe. He can close his eyes and succumb to his body's needs and needn't worry about never waking up.
He is home, he is protected, he is safe...
Safe...
His eyes fall to the apple in his hands, still fresh as it was when it was placed there hours ago. Thor isn't what most people would describe as perceptive or generally observant at all, but Thor has a good heart and for many, Loki included, that is enough.
Loki brings the fruit to his lips, not quite biting, but just letting his teeth rest on the red peel, the slightest pressure applied to make small indentations and no tears or rips. It's been a while since he's last eaten and his stomach agrees.
Loki closes his eyes and eats.
It's a little shorter than usual (up until here, the chapters have been slowly growing in length), but I liked where it ended so I'm keeping it this way. And yes, this version is quite different from the original because editing. And stuff...Yeah.
Yay! We finally got Thor into the chapters! Hope I didn't completely mess up his character...
I noticed that in the reviews, there was some Odin-bashing. Yes, Odin is a huge jerk in this story, but only so because the only type of person who would make his own son his scourge is a jerk. I actually like Odin, but it's all too easy to instill his 'A+ parenting' into everything. Haha, that aside, Odin will continue to become jerkier and jerkier by the chapters.
Just some news, I probably won't be updating in a while. School is starting soon and it's usually hectic and I won't always have the time to write once class is in session. I'll try to squeeze in chapter5 before school, but who knows what will happen?
Happy reading!