Leroy Jenkins picked up to a very ecstatic Justin Bieber. Leroy Jenkins calmly assured her that most Indonesian devil cats panic before mating, yet man-eating capybaras usually surreptitiously yawn *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Justin Bieber. Why was Leroy Jenkins trying to distract Justin Bieber? Because he had snuck out from Justin Bieber's with the Dildo only ten days prior. It was a electric little Dildo... how could he resist?
It didn't take long before Justin Bieber got back to the subject at hand: her Dildo. Leroy Jenkins sneezed. Relunctantly, Leroy Jenkins invited her over, assuring her they'd find the Dildo. Justin Bieber grabbed her rhinocerus and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Leroy Jenkins realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the Dildo and he had to do it recklessly. He figured that if Justin Bieber took the noise-polluting import, he had take at least ten minutes before Justin Bieber would get there. But if she took the Penis? Then Leroy Jenkins would be barely screwed.
Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Leroy Jenkins was interrupted by three abrasive Gimps that were lured by his Dildo. Leroy Jenkins sneezed; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling frustrated, he aptly reached for his dangerous oil-soaked rag and recklessly attacked every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent-the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the disease-infested jungle, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the Penis rolling up. It was Justin Bieber.
-o0o-
As she pulled up, she felt a sense of urgency. She had had to make an unscheduled stop at Egg Roll King to pick up a 12-pack of live hand grenades, so she knew she was running late. With a apt leap, Justin Bieber was out of the Penis and went explosively jaunting toward Leroy Jenkins's front door. Meanwhile inside, Leroy Jenkins was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the Dildo into a box of potatos and then slid the box behind his hippopotamus. Leroy Jenkins was puzzled but at least the Dildo was concealed. The doorbell rang.
'Come in,' Leroy Jenkins wildly purred. With a calculated push, Justin Bieber opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some funny-smelling self-righteous ass in a nappy, busted-out hatchback,' she lied. 'It's fine,' Leroy Jenkins assured her. Justin Bieber took a seat about two saucy furlongs from where Leroy Jenkins had hidden the Dildo. Leroy Jenkins grimaced trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Justin Bieber was distracted. Suddenly cheered up by the Hamtaro theme song, Leroy Jenkins noticed a dimwitted look on Justin Bieber's face. Justin Bieber slowly opened her mouth to speak.
'...What's that smell?'
Leroy Jenkins felt a stabbing pain in his scalp when Justin Bieber asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the Dildo right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A abrasive look started to form on Justin Bieber's face. She turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's ripened avocados from when she used to have pet venomous koalas. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Justin Bieber nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Leroy Jenkins could react, Justin Bieber aptly lunged toward the box and opened it. The Dildo was plainly in view.
Justin Bieber stared at Leroy Jenkins for what what must've been nine seconds. Absolutely thrilled, Leroy Jenkins groped explosively in Justin Bieber's direction, clearly desperate. Justin Bieber grabbed the Dildo and bolted for the door. It was locked. Leroy Jenkins let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Justin Bieber,' he rebuked. Leroy Jenkins always had been a little funny-smelling, so Justin Bieber knew that reconciliation was not an option; she needed to escape before Leroy Jenkins did something crazy, like... start chucking gerbils at him or something. Giggling like schoolgirl, she gripped her Dildo tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.
Leroy Jenkins looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Justin Bieber. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame ten days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Justin Bieber. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Leroy Jenkins walked over to the window and looked down. Justin Bieber was gone.
-o0o-
Just yonder, Justin Bieber was struggling to make her way through the swamp behind Leroy Jenkins's place. Justin Bieber had severely hurt her armpit during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Gimps suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the Dildo. One by one they latched on to Justin Bieber. Already weakened from her injury, Justin Bieber yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing she saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Gimps running off with her Dildo.
About eight hours later, Justin Bieber awoke, her scalp throbbing. It was dark and Justin Bieber did not know where she was. Deep in the humid bush, Justin Bieber was abundantly lost. Unaware of the bleakness of existence, she remembered that her Dildo was taken by the Gimps. But at that point, she was just thankful for her life. That's when, to her horror, a enlarged Gimp emerged from the haunted thicket. It was the alpha Gimp. Justin Bieber opened her mouth to scream but was cut short when the Gimp sunk its teeth into Justin Bieber's armpit. With a faint groan, the life escaped from Justin Bieber's lungs, but not before she realized that she was a failure.
Less than four miles away, Leroy Jenkins was entombed by anguish over the loss of the Dildo. 'MY PRECIOUS!' he cried, as he reached for a sharpened dull pencil. With a apt thrust, he buried it deeply into his prostate. As the room began to fade to black, he thought about Justin Bieber... wishing he had found the courage to tell her that he loved her. But he would die alone that day. All that remained was the Dildo that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant Gimps, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, no one lived forever after, the end. :'(
LOLz!1