Ch 18 Toris and Natashenka

Natasha couldn't remember how many time she ran to the radio station. The last time there, she threw a temper and grabbed the headphone from hand of the cooperator on duty. Under the headquarter's low ceiling rose her low, begging voice.

"Crane? Crane? This is Snow Field. Please answer if you hear me. Please answer…"

What answered her were the booming sounds of artilleries faraway. At the end, they had to send her out. On the way back to the bunker, she wiped her eyes with the back of her small clenched fists. Droplets of tears froze on her eyelashes, causing her to think that the starlights were splashed down to earth in strands.

The Milky Way of millions of stars was like a trail of brilliant and dazzling footprints, traveling through the clear boundless night sky, disappeared into the distance of nothingness. Natasha stood by the bunker, gazing upon the celestial trail of foot steps for a long time.

"We scouts love the night. Look, the Milky Way in the night sky is the road of us scouts…"

Perhaps, Natasha would never be able to forget those words until the end of her life. But who said those words? Not long ago, under the same magnificent starry sky, the fiercely burning campfire jumped and twirled in agitation, as if to exhaust its minute sadness and joy in its fleeting life. Her gaze was fixed on the campfire and she heard the hoarse voice of Toris Lorinaitis telling his fellow soldiers about stars…

Yes, those were Toris' words. Natasha loved those words, but she didn't love Toris—how could she? Although he was a good scout too… No, the person Natasha admired the most was her brother. When she first learned to braid her own hair, she already followed her brother and his friends playing fighting games in the woods. When she was twelve or thirteen years old, one day, her brother said to her, "Now you're a big girl, Natashenka. Act like a girl." So she put on dresses and bows, and soon noticed those gazes of admiration from other boys. There was no way she would like any of them. Afterall, she was the sister of Vanya Braginsky!

Natasha was applying for music school when the war broke out. Having heard the news that brother was joining the army, she didn't hesitate and immediately ran to the conscription office. But they didn't want her as a scout and, instead, sent her to nursing class. She had secretly shed tears many times for this very reason—scouts were the braviest people in the front afterall! But brother was also a scout, and a cavalry rider too! Thence, Natasha had a very good reason to raise her proud little face once again.

But this time, brother was in the unfamiliar area of infantry scouting mission, and it was also the most difficult kind that required breaking into enemy's rear for prolonged period of time. Ever after that evening when a deafening sound of explosion was heard from the radio station, the "crane" vanished into the boundless sky…There was only the magnificent Milky Way remaining high above like the footprints they left on the snowfield…

If only she could follow these footprints! Then, Natash could overcome all the difficult situations and rescue her brother and other soldiers from unimaginable perils… She was only a nurse without any training, but if an experienced scout could be willing to accompany her, Natasha believed that she could do it for sure. But where could she find such a person? Her admirers were all too many, but if she fell into danger, who could risk everything to save her? Like that day in a sudden air raid, the way she protected little Lovino in her arms—

—Well yes! During the air raid there was such a person, in spite of his coughing, leaping to her side and covering her with his own body, just like how the man of her dream should had done. She had long believed that one day the man of her dream would eventually come. She didn't know his name or face, but he lived inside her heart…

There was only one gas lamp inside the bunker. The small swaying flame reflected in the navy blue eyes of Toris, like a lighthouse on the midnight Baltic Sea, and the snoring sounds of new recruits like the ocean's ceaseless sighs.

Toris reclined on the sleeping board, trying to suppress his coughing. Thanks to the faithful nurse, his cold was close to recovery. On the table, there was the bowl he used to drink his medication a few hours ago—Natasha hurried out after preparing the medication for him. He knew that she was going to the division headquarter's radio station for her brother…

So, Natasha was slightly arrogant and sometimes talked bluntly, but wasn't she still the prettiest, loveliest and finest girl in this world? How could he allow such a girl to have her heart broken?

He blamed himself. If it wasn't that he fell ill in that critical time, he could had gone with the squad. Then, he could keep an eye on his good friend Yao, and Vanya wouldn't need to participate in this ominous mission, and, hence, spare Natasha's worry and dread.

Could it be that whoever received his liking would be destined to fall into misery?

"No, that's not true!" Toris shook his head as if getting rid of the terrible thoughts from his head. "I'm a university student studying astronomy, not a hopeless astrologist of the middle ages. They will return in safety. Everything will be fine…"

He couldn't keep on that positive thought. In the past, he had loved many people. Hadn't they all left him? Life had given so little to this nineteen-year-old man, but had taken away so much from him…

Toris loved his parents, as well as his parents' good frients, the Lukasiewicz family. Nine years ago, in the unforgettable winter day when ten-year-old Toris lied on his parents' new tombs covered with snow, not wanting to get up, it was Feliks Lukasiewicz who reached out his little hand to him, "Come, Toris. Come living with us!"

Polish immigrants, the Lukasiewicz family lived by the shore of the Baltic Sea. Everything about this family couldn't be better: the auntie made the best egg rolls in the world; the uncle had the finest telescope. Many years later when people asked the famous astrophysicist Toris Lorinaitis about his academic life, he would always say, "Everthing began when I was ten years old, on the balcony of the Lukasiewicz family…"

Of course, this family also had the most curious little boy, Feliks. So maybe sometimes that Feliks was a bit self-important, and that he cheated when they played chess, but wasn't he the happiest, the loveliest and the finest boy in the world? Otherwise, why would Toris ran to his bedside and tell him all the lovely things happened of the day?

"Feliks! Feliks! I found a kind of really good ice-cream in the shop on the street corner…"

"Feliks! Feliks! Today uncle said I did a good job with the star chart I made…"

"Feliks! Feliks! Today in the park by the beach, I saw a really cute blond girl. But before I had a second look at her, she's gone…"

Uncle and aunt were joking that Toris fell in love, but only Feliks pouted and howled, stomping the floor, and demanded Toris to swear never mentioning that blonde girl…

Now, in the battlefront thousands of miles away, staring at the flickering light, Toris felt that he was so lonely… Why, out of all possible times, did the Lukasiewicz's choose to visit Warsaw in the eve of its siege? A year later, Toris enrolled Moscow University. He only wanted to leave home to somewhere far far way; staying for even another day in where Feliks lived was unbearable.

He felt suffocating, so he buttoned up the coat and wished to go out for some fresh air.

Below the magnificent starry sky stood Natasha. When he saw her for the first time in Moscow, he thought that she was the little blond girl he met on the beach back home… She lowered her beautiful head and her slim shoulder twitched, the almost indistinguishable sobbing sounded clearly in his ears—Natasha had always been strong and resilient.

"Natasha…" He muttered in sympathy, but quickly regreted it. How could a girl like Natasha be willing to expose her weak side?

But Natasha raised her tearful eyes. The next second, out of Toris' expectation, the girl threw herself into his arms and her face on his shoulder, crying out loud.

"Toris! They will die! I don't want them to die!"

He placed his hand gingerly onto her fine golden hair, and opened his mouth with great effort, "Natasha… Natashenka! I promise you with my whole life's happiness. They will come back…They will come back!"

The girl's crying softened and, after a while, she suddenly broke loose his embrace, wiped away her tears and stared at him with a slightly offended gaze of blame.

"Get back to the bunker! You haven't recovered yet. If you caught something else from the wicked cold, it's not my responsibility!" said she, while trying to maintain that usual indifferent tone. Then she quickly turned around and ran in the direction of the headquarter. Even when she had run afar, Toris could still hear the cracking sound of snow under her boots.