Blaine woke up hours before his alarm and just lay in bed. His alarm blared at six the next morning he watched the numbers flash angrily as the shrill cry threatened to wake the rest of the neighborhood. Cooper was right; Blaine needed to go to school today.
At 6:20, Blaine dragged himself out of bed and into the shower. He ran a hand along the stubble that had appeared after three days of not shaving. Blaine was normally very well groomed but he wasn't going to bother shaving this morning either. He would go through the motions of school but he knew it would be a waste. There was no way he'd be able to concentrate but missing more school would only amplify the drama.
Instead of his normal short sleeved button up under a cardigan, skinny jeans cuffed at the ankle and a bowtie to top it all off, Blaine threw on a white t-shirt and his old navy blue Dalton hoodie. For the first time ever, Blaine was going to break his no sweatpants in public rule. He's lost Kurt, maybe forever; he was allowed to wallow.
Blaine grabbed his travel mug and filled it with coffee to the brim. He didn't bother adding milk or sugar like he usually would. He needed the bitterness to remind him that coffee though necessary, wasn't allowed to be enjoyable anymore. Blaine snuck out of the house before he had to face the awkward attempts of his parents trying to act normal while they tiptoed around him.
Blaine drove in silence. The cold silence surrounded him but Blaine knew that if he turned on the radio he would lose it. Music had been the thing to bring the two of them together and Blaine knew that if one of their songs came on he would probably crash.
Blaine pulled into the parking lot sooner than expected. He hated that he still had forty minutes to kill before school even started. He eyed his school bag on the passenger's seat. It had been hard enough to get used to driving himself to school without picking up Kurt on the way. Now the empty seat made him feel lonelier as Blaine thought about how he would have to get used to missing just the physical part of Kurt. Kurt had been the best friend he'd ever had and telling himself that they were over was the most painful thing he'd ever experienced.
Arms crossed over the steering wheel, Blaine rested his forehead against them as he tried to even his breathing. If he got through this day without crying, someone should give him a fucking medal.
To pass the time, Blaine forced himself to drink the coffee in his mug. Maybe it would give him the strength to get through this day and pretend to be just ok enough to be left alone. Most of his teachers probably wouldn't care, except for Mr. Shue.
Blaine decided to make himself get out of the parking lot before it got too full so he could avoid as many people as possible. First stop was his locker before he searched for an empty hallway or classroom to hide out in.
Muscle memory kicked in as Blaine paid little attention to the numbers on the combination lock but since it seemed like karma was a bitch and nothing was ever going to go his way ever again, the lock did not open.
"Need a hand?" Tina's soft whisper can from behind him.
Blaine shook his head and made sure to get the combination right this time.
"Here, I thought you might need something to help you power through," Blaine hadn't even noticed that she was carrying two coffee cups until she held one out to him.
"Thanks," he muttered gratefully and took a sip. The coffee was perfectly sweetened with just enough milk. Tina had learned how Blaine took his coffee well when he and Kurt had taken her on coffee dates after her break up with Mike.
It was comforting to know that Tina understood everything he was going through because he'd watched her go through it. Tina comfortingly rubbed between his shoulder blades and pressed a kiss to his cheek.
Blaine dug through his bag for the notebooks and folders he wouldn't need for his morning classes. His hand hovered a foot away from his open locker where it froze. There sitting on top of his Physics and Calculus books sat Margaret Thatcher dog. The hold he had on his schoolwork evaporated and papers scattered around him. He was frozen.
Tina was saying something about helping him get his things together and something about how lucky he was that the hallway was still mostly deserted.
Margaret Thatcher Dog's exaggeratingly huge eyes captivated him in a swarm of painful memories. She wasn't even the worst of the nightmare of his locker. The inside was covered in pictures of him and Kurt taken throughout the past year and the summer. The one Tina has taken of them at the end of summer goodbye bonfire to the seniors was his favorite. They hadn't even realized when it was being taken. The small smiles of pure adoration and love surrounded them in a bubble on bliss. It was hard to look back on that night now without wishing with everything he had that they could all go back to that happier time.
"Let's get out of here," Tina suggested. She stuffed Blaine's folders and notebooks back into his locker and closed it firmly.
"I'm fine," Blaine tried to insist.
"Blaine you don't have to do this. Everyone will understand if you take a few days; especially me."
"I need to do this," he whispered.
"You're amazing, you know that?" Tina said in awe. "You're so much stronger than I was but then again I don't think your story has ended yet."
Blaine stopped and his breath shook as he struggled to keep himself calm.
"God, I am so stupid. I wasn't thinking. I'm so sorry Blaine!" Tina babbled apologies all the way to their shared first period class.
Most of the day dragged on in a blur of boredom and evading questions about how he was doing. To his surprise several teachers asked if he was feeling ill and if he needed the nurse. Blaine figured it was probably his choice of outfit and lack of copious amounts of gel in his hair.
Glee Club was usually the highlight of his day but Blaine didn't think he was ready for that much of a reminder of Kurt. Just knowing that Kurt had roamed these halls for four years and every inch of campus reminded him of being with Kurt. More than once Blaine ducked into the bathroom to splash cool water on his face.
Blaine avoided his locker that day. It wasn't like he was taking notes or even paid attention to any of his classes anyway. At least no one bothered him except to ask if needed to talk to anyone.
The day was an exhausting waste of time and emotional energy but it at least gave him something to do rather than stay home. Blaine collapsed on his bed as soon as he got home. All he wanted to do was sleep forever.
The rest of the week passed in much of the same way. Tina brought him coffee and kept people from gossiping as much as she could like a protective mama hawk.
"We're going on a date tonight," Tina announced as she handed Blaine his coffee at the entrance of McKinley.
"What?" Blaine froze and stared at her in shock.
"We're going to Breadstix tonight. You're going to dress up and I'll pick you up at seven."
"Tina, I don't really feel up for going out tonight. I just want to stay home tonight," Blaine sighed.
"You don't really have a choice. It's happening and if you wear sweats ever again I'm hosting an intervention."
Blaine thought about it. He didn't want to disappoint Tina but he really did not want to go out.
"Please, Blaine," her eyes bore into his soul. "Please, please, please?" Tina was no quitter.
"Fine," Blaine conceded. He knew there was no way he'd win this battle.
"No sweats!" She called after him as he ducked into the classroom while she went to her locker.
All day tried to think of excuses to get out of going to Breadstix with Tina that night. He fantasized about cutting off one of his legs and having to be rushed to the hospital. Tina would never forgive him if he bailed on her but she couldn't be mad at him if he were in the hospital.
No, she would probably drag him IV and all from his bed and take him to Breadstix.
He loved Tina but he was dreading tonight.