I want to say thank you to my awesome fellow Rockstar Mari for pre-reading this for me and making all the corrections and suggestions needed.

Please read the A.N at the end.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 1: No Regrets.

There is an ongoing battle between conscience and self-interest in which,

at some point, we have to take sides.

~Robert Brault.

I'm a good person.

I'm friendly, lovable, caring. I help old ladies in the street with their shopping bags. I'm great with children. My family is the most important thing in my life and my friends come to a close second. People at work don't have a bad thing to say about me, neither do my neighbors.

I visit a care center once a month to help out in any way I can. I never hesitate when it comes to assist a person in need; it's not in my nature.

I'm a good person.

"What are you doing this weekend?"

It amazes me how one simple question from my brother can alter my frame of mind. No matter how many times I prepare a speech in my head telling me I'm good, it's never enough to make me believe it. Because the truth is, I am not a good person. Even if other people seem to think so, I know I'm not. How could I be? How can I assure myself I'm not bad, when my entire life is based on dishonesty?

What are you doing this weekend? It should be such a simple answer. I could say I'm staying home, keeping a low profile, resting from this week's work. I could be doing those things. I should be doing those things this weekend, but I'm not.

I could be honest and tell him I'm meeting with someone. Tell him I have a date, but that would lead to so many questions that would require me to lie so much more.

He can't know what I'm truly doing this weekend. He can't never find out I'm not so much of a loner as I make myself out to be. No one can.

This has been going on for a while now; a year to be exact, a year of me lying to the faces of every one I care about. It's been a year of me sneaking around like a teenager to be with the woman I love.

It's a secret that's eating me inside. I haven't been the same sane person I used to be. I think I've lost it completely. My mind is constantly battling against my heart and I don't know how to deal with it.

The worst part is I know what needs to be done in order for me to live a normal life. I have two options that would make me an honest person like I used to be. I could come clean about her; I could force her to tell the truth about us. It would bring us both a lot of repercussions, her more than me, but I could stop lying.

The second option is leaving her. But that's not even in the cards for me. I don't want—no, I can't—leave her. I need her. She has become my whole world, the only thing keeping me together. She's more than the air that I breathe; she's the blood that runs through my veins.

I don't even understand how that happened. One day I'm a normal guy living my life one step at a time, with nothing to keep me from sleep at night. Then, I found myself caught up in an incredible mess.

I remember meeting her. I thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world. The way she conducted herself, attracted me instantly to her. I knew things weren't going to be easy, but I couldn't escape her.

A Year Ago

The only thing I hate about being a lawyer is the constant studying that needs to be done. No matter how much knowledge you think you have, it's never enough. Laws are frequently changing and you never know when it can work against you. I have won my fair amount of cases but it still hurts when I lose one.

Today has been an especially hard day for me. I've been working for months on a case, knowing that there weren't many chances of winning it. Even with that in mind, I couldn't help but get upset when the judge announced the verdict.

I'm reading a book in a small coffee shop that I visit everyday named Pep's. I'm trying really hard to concentrate but it's impossible. My mind doesn't want to know what the author of the book wants to say. I should go home, but I know that when I get there, I'll just grab another kind of book to torture myself, trying to see what else could've been done to turn things to my favor.

No, I'm not ready to go home yet. Instead I try once again to make sense of this paragraph but a loud commotion at the other side of the room keeps me from it. When I turn my head to see what's going on, my eyes take in everything that's happening but at the same time nothing at all.

There's a young waitress with unshed tears in her eyes, trying to pick up broken glasses and other stuff my brain doesn't register. Looking down on her is the reason my heart is trying to beat out my body right now. A gorgeous brunette with the most pale and soft looking skin I've ever seen. She's dressed all white; like an angel, except the look she's wearing at this moment implies otherwise. From the looks of the whole scene, she's the reason that poor waitress is about to piss her pants.

Of course I want to go do something, but I've lost too much time starting at the brunette beauty and by the time I'm standing she's already on her way out. I'm frozen by shock at how much this woman affected me. I realize I can't let her go, but my feet don't seem to be working.

In my state of panic at never seeing her again, I search frantic for anything that may give away something about her. When my eyes go back to the shaking waitress, I see a refine black leather agenda on the floor.

This apparently spurs me into action and before I know it, I'm out the door-agenda in hand- looking around for a glimpse of her white perfection.

"…this incompetent waitress at that tacky coffee shop our boss seems to like spilled a whole tray of pantries at my shoes, now I'm late for the scheduled photo shoot of the magazine cover…"

I hear her talking on the cell phone, her voice full of irritation. She's pacing back and forth, but she hasn't notice me yet.

Her heels click on the pavement and I seem to be hypnotized by the sound. That's why when the noise of her footsteps gets lower, I realize she's walking away again, and my feet chase after her.

"Excuse me, miss!" I yell at her while walking a little faster now. She's not talking on her cell phone anymore, so I assume she hears me.

"What now?"

"I…I'm sorry….um….I was under the….impression that this…um w-was yours." I'm fidgeting, stumbling across the words, as if I'm asking her to marry me, instead of possibly doing her a favor.

"Oh great! This is just what I needed it, isn't it?" She grabs the agenda out of my hands and flips pages furiously, her eyes drinking in every line in it; trying to figure out if something's missing from this object –that apparently- is so precious to her.

"I-I found it at P-Pep's…and, well…I-I thought it co-could be yours." I cannot believe my words right now. I'm an intelligent successful young man, why am I reducing to stutters in front of this girl? I have to keep it together.

"Yeah, great thinking on your part." She says sarcastically. She's looking strangely at me, a mix of wonder and annoyance in her features.

"Thanks, I guess." I shrug trying to look cool and collected. "I thought it could be important, and you left in such a hurry…" I trail off before I start sounding like a freak.

"Because I am in a hurry." She checks her watch and I know it's a polite way of asking me not to keep her any longer.

"Listen, I-I just…"

"Don't, I am not going out on a date with you. I do not think I owe you for giving this back to me. And yes, it would be amazing if you would go back to, Pop's-Peep's or whatever the hell it's called and let me go on with my life."

I'm left stunned, speechless and feeling like the biggest idiot in the world. Why did she act that way? If this is how she treated that waitress at Pep's, I get the frighten look in her eyes then.

But I don't understand. She is so beautiful. Even in her agitated look at the end of our brief exchange, she looked striking. How could she be so mean? And here I thought I was doing her a favor. She seemed so relieved when I handed her the agenda. Maybe she was having a bad day.

I go back to Pep's to retrieve my stuffs imagining Peter, the owner of said coffee shop, is probably sat at my table waiting for me.

After a vague conversation with Peter about what just happened, I decide I should go home. I need to buy some groceries anyway and it's getting late. Once I get to the store, I notice is starting to rain and I try to be as quick as possible, so I don't have to drive in this weather.

Since today is not exactly my day, I'm stuck in a long line with a new and adjusting cashier working her shift. By the time I'm done the parking lot it's deserted except for a car that appears to have its lights on, but no one inside.

Despite the fact that I'm tired and still a little bummed out about the brunette incident, I'm too curious not to get a closer look to the mysterious car. I inspect it looking for any sign of something strange. After I'm convinced it's just a mistake of its owner, I turn around only to find myself bumping into the not-so-angelic beauty of earlier this evening.

At first I can't believe how close she is, I can smell her perfume and it's clouding my senses. Then I take in all of her realizing she's soaking wet and clearly upset. She doesn't look angry, or annoyed as before. She looks sad, maybe frustrated but still oh so magnificent.

"Are you stalking me or something?" She asks me and regardless of the sadness I detect in her eyes, her voice is firm.

"Wh-what? No. The lights of the car are on. I…I was making sure everything was ok." I answer her.

"Well, aren't you my little savior?" She says sarcastically and I feel incredibly embarrassed for some reason.

"I assume some people still appreciate those kinds of things, you know…favors and stuff…" I say, suddenly angry at her behavior. "Maybe you could learn to say "thank you" once in a while."

She looks me up and down with a smirk on her face that's doing things to my body. After what feels like an eternity of her scrutinizing me, she surprises me by getting closer to whisper seductively in my ear "Mmm…Maybe. Depends on how you teach me."

"Earth to Edward?" I'm pulled out of my memory by the annoyed voice of Emmett and his waving hands in front of my face.

At first I'm a little startled and confused not really remembering where I am. As my eyes begin to adjust to the present time, I realize I'm at my apartment's living room. Emmett is lying down on the grey leather sofa across from the matching chair I'm sitting in.

"What?" I say in a low voice not really interested in having another dreadful conversation with my brother about my whereabouts.

"Dude, you spaced out. I've been talking nonstop for at least half an hour." He says in exasperation at my not paying attention. I understand that it bothers him, but he should be used to it by now. It's not like it's the first time.

"Oh, yeah? What about?"

"About the party this weekend. It's the launch of a new club and it's supposed to be super exclusive, but since I'm awesome, I'm invited and I can bring anyone I want." He answers excitedly despise his annoyance with me.

Emmett is a well known photographer therefore he's constantly getting into private parties and the like. Although his style is more artistic, his reputation and fame come as the result of shooting famous models and actresses for important magazines covers.

He loves his job and I know he feels blessed that it has given him so many wonderful experiences. He has met a lot of celebrities and has enjoyed a life full of luxuries thanks to it.

"That's cool." I reply as a reflex, knowing he's expecting some kind of emotion out of me after his recently shared news.

"It is. You know the best part, though? That you're coming with me! It's about time you go out and have some fun. Dude, you need tocome."

I try not to cringe at his obvious interest in my presence at this party. My mind is working furiously to come up with a credible excuse out of it. My brother knows I don't particularly enjoy those types of events. However, ever since he started getting invitations, he's persistently asking me to accompany him.

At first I used to go against my will because I knew it meant something for him. Besides, I actually believed him when he told me I could meet someone who would attract me. A couple of parties later, I realized that it wasn't going to happen but I still humored him.

That was until I started seeing her.

There was no point in trying to meet new people, when I had already found my match.

Being a lawyer, has always given me a sense of power, of authority. People around me tend to respect me right away, just because of my title. So it's no surprise I'm used to getting what I want. Still, when it comes to women I take pleasure in the chase.

That's why going out with Emmett is really of no use to me. The girls he's around are mostly all too willing, throwing themselves shamelessly at both my brother and I. And the ones that don't, are a little on the not so nice side for lack of a better description.

I am not selective. The thing is I like the art of seduction, the process of wooing a woman before she agrees on giving you a chance. Unlike most male of this era, I enjoy courting them. Of course getting a woman to date you, it's a whole different thing from making them fall in love with you. I've learned that the hard way.

"Stop! Whatever excuse you're thinking is not going to work. You're going to that party with me and that's the end of it." Emmett says trying to sound authoritative.

"I don't know, Em. I'm just not in the mood for that scene." I talk back like a petulant child.

"C'mon bro! It's been forever since you went out with me. Hell, it must be forever since you went out at all."

I sigh and tug hard at my hair in frustration. It'd be useless to argue with him about whether I've been going out or not. I don't think he'd believe me in the first place. Plus, I'm not ready to see the look on his face when I come clean about my secret relationship, if one can call a relationship to what I have, that is.

My brother is not a judgmental person. But I know it'd make him lose his respect in me if he knew I'm "dating" a married woman. He's really liberal and all, but he's never done anything like that. He would be so disappointed if he found out.

"Edward, don't give your brain such a hard time, okay? If you don't want to go, I get it. I'll ask Jasper to go with me. He'd be up for it." He tells me, finally giving me an out of this situation.

"Yes, ask Jasper. That's a good idea. I-I'm sorry though. You know those kind of things are not my thing." I hesitate before adding, "I hope you're not mad at me."

"Well yeah, I'm incredibly mad at you. You're such a mean person. How could you do this to me?" He complains in a high pitchy voice, and I know he's joking. He chuckles and stands up to get his jacket, talking as he goes. "Nah, we're cool. If you change your mind, have your people contact my people."

"Sure, I'll let you know, okay?"

After a quick "manly hug" as he calls it, he's gone.

I'm left feeling just a bit guilty about the most recent lie. And I make false promises in my head about going out with him the next time.

Although I feel a little sad about rejecting him, there was no way I was giving in to his insistence. I can't bring myself to regret this decision.

No, there's no room for regret when I know for a fact, that my weekend activity is no comparison to his.

Because this weekend, I'm going to see her.

A.N: First of all, I want to apologize for submitting these chapters without being betaed .I do not intend to offend anyone in the site.

Second of all, I want to say THANK YOU to everyone who has taken the time to read, review, and put the story on alert or on your favorite list. You guys are the reason I decided to keep writing this.

Last but not least, if one of you is kind enough to find a beta for me, I'd be extremely grateful.

Love, MrzEdCullen.