"I told you my shoulder was fine," I teased Elliot as soon as the doctor left.
Elliot rolled his eyes, "I'm glad it is."
During the whole process when the doctor was checking my shoulder and changing the bandages, I refused to let go of Bailey. I used a pillow to prop up my good arm so Bailey could rest close to me.
"Is it still hurting?"
"A little," I sighed, "But I'll be okay."
Elliot climbed up in the hospital bed and wrapped his arm around Bailey and I. "I love you guys so much," he whispered into my ear.
I felt my eyes begin to water. When we had first decided to have a baby I never thought of anyone trying to take it away from us. Of course I wondered about how having a child would balance with work and how the bad guys would threaten her or anything that had to do with working at SVU.
"I love you too," I said looking up at him, "When I saw you lying on the floor I didn't know what to do. I couldn't lose you."
"You won't," he said to me, "Not ever."
I leaned closer to him and gave him a kiss. It was the first time in the past few days we had made physical contact with one another. We had so much on our minds that it never really came up.
Bailey began fussing and her bright blue eyes peered open as she just stared up at me.
"What are you thinking about?" Elliot questioned seeing the look on my face.
"I want to have another baby," I said smiling.
Elliot looked at me like I was crazy, "Are you serious? After everything that's happened?"
"Yes," I answered honestly, "I love Bailey more than anything. I would do anything to protect her and I think having another little one around would be amazing."
"What about work?"
"I'll retire."
"You're serious about this aren't you?"
I nodded, "I've worked at SVU for almost thirteen years now. It's been everything to me and I won't ever forget it but, I think it's time to step away now. I have too much to live for, too much to lose. I have a family and family is everything." The first tear fell slowly down my cheek as I spoke.
Elliot reached his hand to my face and wiped them away, "I think having another baby would be great."
I smiled and we kissed again. Before everything had happened, I knew how much I loved my family. I would do anything for them. It wasn't until after everything that I realized what life would be like without them, that I found out love is all that matters. Once you have love, everything else seems so small. All the little problems don't matter. When you look back on everything bad in your life you realize that those mountains were just tiny grains of sand. It isn't time to dwell on the past. It's time to look to the future. The future is what I have left and it is what I will cherish forever.